


Accordance

by Weasley_Adoptee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 91,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25919401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weasley_Adoptee/pseuds/Weasley_Adoptee
Summary: On the eve of the first Wizarding War, six young students arrive at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Six people, ready to make a new start, ready to stake their claim. Having no idea of the role they'll play in days to come, no idea how they're irrevocably tied together. Before there was anguish, betrayal, and murder...there was friendship, adventure, and love. And so, so many pranks. This is the story of the past generation. This...is the tale of the Marauders.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 23





	1. The Greatest Birthday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [That one Anon on Tumblr who complimented me (You know who you are)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=That+one+Anon+on+Tumblr+who+complimented+me+%28You+know+who+you+are%29).



> Obviously, the story of the Marauders has been told a million times with a million different fics and ideas...but it's never been told by me! Always remember, fellow writers, that this is all that matters! I'm going to do my best to respect the canon while still introducing new ideas and putting my own spin on everything. I'll try to upload consistently, but productivity is a fickle and unpredictable state of mind. But that's enough out of me - let's get started!

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

“No..c’mon Mum, it’s too early to not asleep…” A young, slurred voice responded, but the tapping only grew more insistent. Quite reluctantly, a young lad with hazel eyes and untidy black hair rolled onto his other side to face the door, opening his eyes. 

Tap. Tap. Tap! 

“Fine, you win. I’m up.” The boy started to laugh, shaking his head and climbing to his feet. He was short and knobby kneed and about eleven years old. Well, as of today he’d be eleven exactly - as he’d reminded everyone in his family for the past three weeks. He was also very, very blind at the moment. Fumbling for his glasses, James Potter pushed them on and opened the door, leaving his arms open for the expected hug. 

But no hug came his way, for his mother was not at the door. 

“Eh?” James looked around again, and peered down the hall. 

Tap! Tap! Tap! 

Finally understanding, James turned around to find an owl at his window. _His_ window, not the window in the sitting room or in that of his parents’ room. This large, tawny bird had sought out James specifically, accosting the window with her beak. And she had a letter tied to her leg. For a brief moment, the still-sleepy James stared at the owl, wondering what she could be doing here. While he had friends who lived in Godric’s Hollow, none of them came from families that were likely to use owls. That was when the last of his sleepiness faded away, and he remembered - it was his birthday! His eleventh birthday! 

“I know! I know why you’re here!” James shouted in a much louder voice than was probably necessary. The Owl, who had already been on edge, now fluttered slightly from shock. Only recoiling further when James rushed to the window, struggling to open it with stubby, shaking fingers, squealing from excitement. Having had quite enough, the Owl simply took off. 

“Wait, no! Please stay! I’m sorry!” James forced the window open and hollered to the Owl, loudly enough for the heavens to hear. But she did not pause her journey. With a shake of her leg, the letter came loose. James stuck his head out of the window to make another plea, just in time for it to smack him in the face. 

“Ouch!” he fell backwards into his room, square on his back. Now lying horizontally beside his bed, James glimpsed the nearby alarm clock. It was charmed to go off at nine in the morning to awaken him...which was only three minutes from now. Rolling his eyes, James clutched his precious letter in one hand and chucked a nearby shoe at the clock. Which proved to be a mistake when it fell to the floor and auto-triggered the charm, perhaps out of spite toward it’s very belligerent owner. 

_Brrring bring! Brrring bring! Brrring bring!_

James groaned, pushing some of his messy hair from his face. That alarm wasn’t going to stop until one of his parents removed the charm. But that was just fine. He wanted to see them anyway - he had the most important news of all time to share with them. Turning over the letter to its opposite side designated the addressee. 

_“James Potter_

_Hallow’s Cottage_

_Godric’s Hollow_

_West Country_

It was real. It was properly real, and solid, in his own two hands. James Potter was a wizard - and now he had it in writing! 

It wasn’t a particular surprise to him, of course. Everyone in his family was either a witch or wizard, one of his cousins even went back and forth! It was something James had always known, even if he couldn’t tell his friends - he came from a long history of magic. Given that he had unconsciously turned his vegetables into sweets, and that most of his pajamas turned red and gold after he wore them, everyone knew James would be a Wizard. But this was a step further - this was his Hogwarts letter. He had proof now, proof that he was going to the greatest school in the wizarding world. Grabbing the annoying alarm clock in one hand, holding his letter in the other, James bounded down the hall. 

“Mum! Dad! MumDad!” He called out, combining their names for no distinct reason. “Guys? Hello?” James barged into their bedroom, not finding them there. So he proceeded to check both bathrooms, before racing downstairs. “Parental units? Offspring carriers? Potter associates? Hello?” Though he was starting to get slightly worried, James continued to circle the house, hollering for the people he was seeking, which was only slightly louder than the alarm clock he carried. Perhaps they were out in the garden? No. Maybe out on the front porch! No...the basement! No, not there either…“Helloooo...your majesties? Crusaders, invaders, marauders? I have a very important quest for you!” The boy continued to shout from the kitchen, only to be distracted by a faint sound from the sitting room. 

The sound of snickering. 

Moving further into the sitting room, James frowned. Tossing the alarm clock out the nearby window, he strained his ears. He could hear the sound of muffled laughter, yet there was no one to be seen - or was there. Doing a double take, James saw it. Disembodied feet, flickering at the center of the room, exactly where the sounds were coming from. And one of them had a great big wart on the left big toe. James would have known that wart anywhere. 

“Aha!” He shouted, proceeding to lunge forward. Sure enough, the empty space just ahead of him proved to not be quite as empty as it looked. James’ lunge quickly became a tackle, as he collided with two mostly invisible people, and all three of them fell to the carpet - a silvery cloak falling to one side. Fleamont and Euphemia Potter grabbed their son, and all three of the Potters erupted into belly laughs. Especially when they realized that the birthday cake Fleamont had been holding was now more of a birthday mess, and most of it was on Euphemia’s face. 

The Potters continued to laugh the morning away, only getting up about ten minutes later so Euphemia could wipe her face, as Fleamont went to fetch the forgotten alarm clock and switch it off, before one of the neighbors came round to complain about the noise - again. James, now coughing from how much laughing he had done, didn’t regret what he’d done at all. They could always cook up another cake, but there was no replacing a good laugh. 

It was only after everything had settled down and James had listened to his parents sing a ridiculous song to him, that he finally remembered why he had come looking for them. Eagerly showing them his letter - though still crumpled and stained with frosting from the earlier collision - it was legible, and penned by the famous Minerva McGonagall. Well, she was famous in Hallow’s Cottage, at any rate - Fleamont and Euphemia having been her classmates. She was now the Deputy Headmistress at Hogwarts, which only made James more excited. 

“She’s Head of Gryffindor, so I’ll get to see her all the time!” 

Euphemia rolled her eyes. It was not the first time her son had taken his Sorting as a given. “You’re going to feel silly if you make any other House, you know that right?” 

Fleamont laughed with his son. “He’ll make Gryffindor, it’s in his blood.” 

“You never know,” Euphemia teased, with a smirk. “He could go somewhere else...he could go to Slytherin!”

There was a very quiet pause...before all three Potters roared with laughter again. James adopted a tone of mocking horror. “How could my own mother say something so terrible?!” 

“I don’t know son - this just isn’t the woman I married.” Fleamont shook his head with a grim expression, but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning as Euphemia prodded him. At that moment, the sun shifted behind the clouds, and a ray of pure gold light shone in through the window, catching something silvery on the ground. James blinked, and pushed himself off the couch. 

“Hey Dad, Mum - what’s that?” He couldn’t recall having seen it before.

Fleamont and Euphemia exchanged a smile, before Euphemia turned back to her son. “That, young man, is your most special present. I wanted to save it for the party tonight, but your father couldn’t resist giving you a “demonstration” of the possibilities.” Fleamont chuckled and offered a small bow, as James eagerly approached the cloak with wide eyes. 

“Wait a mo’...is this…? No, no way…” James picked up the cloak, turning it over in his hands. There was always a trick or hidden bonus to presents that his parents would get him, usually a magical one. It seemed like just ordinary cloth, and yet…

“Go ahead, see for yourself.” Fleamont grinned, folding his arms. James was seized with excitement, his heart pounding harder than it had the night he’d drank his mother’s coffee. Rushing into the bathroom to look in the mirror, he saw a scruffy boy with a mess of black hair and spectacles that were constantly askew. Taking a deep breath, he threw the silvery cloak over his head and promptly screamed. 

“I-I’m a vampire!” James hollered. “This is incredible!” In the mirror, he no longer cast a reflection. Of course, he wasn’t truly a vampire. He was pretty sure he needed to actually be bitten by one of those for that to happen. No, the truth was actually even more exciting. His gift from his parents was an Invisibility Cloak! 

Not long after, James reprised his tackle from earlier, his parents unable to see him coming. He launched himself at them and they fell onto the couch as he hugged them tight, thanking them over and over as they tried, unsuccessfully, to get him to settle down. Straightening himself out and smoothing the wrinkles on his pajamas, James glanced out the window, and then back at his parents. 

“Can I go out? I really want to give the cloak a spin.” 

Fleamont was already grinning, but Euphemia made a noise of slight uncertainty. “Er...and just what are you planning to do with the cloak?” 

“Nothing!” James lied quickly, fooling neither of them. “No, really” He continued, seeing the looks on their faces. “I just wanna look around, and…” They continued to give him knowing, exasperated looks. “Okay, I promise I won’t prank anyone, and I promise I won’t go far. I’ll be back for breakfast! We’re still having cake, right?” 

Euphemia held out her pinky. “We’re holding you to that. You also can’t show it to any of the neighborhood kids.”

Fleamont nodded. “If we get any complaints, we’re going to eat every bite of the cake. In front of you. Without sharing.” He smirked, as James looked horrified. 

“Evil! Supremely evil! ...Okay, okay. Here-” He locked pinkies with his mother. “It’s official. So can I go?” 

The Potters exchanged a glance, before finally giving their bemused blessing. James leaped to his feet, pumping his fist. “Yes! This is going to be so cool!” In another moment, he gathered the cloak around himself, and vanished into thin air. Leaving no trace but the sound of footsteps, and the opening and closing of the backdoor. 

Euphemia looked at her husband, and smirked. “I give him ten minutes before someone drags him back here by the ear.” 

Fleamont nodded. “Let’s just pray it’s not a muggle. I’m really rusty with memory charms…” 

But James didn’t hear them. He was off on his adventure of the day. Dashing around the streets of Godric’s Hollow. Though it was still early, and there weren’t that many people around, he felt invincible. He felt like he was some sort of spy or auror, on patrol. He had a brief scare with a milkman, accidentally knocking over his milk and instinctively gasping, “Sorry!” before he took off. From a safe distance, he watched the milkman lament the broken bottles and complain about how this street was “bloody haunted.” Biting his lip, James resolved to be more careful. It didn’t last. 

He had two more scares that morning. One when he tripped in a neighbor’s backyard, and caused the woman living there to scream when she noticed his disembodied legs. At least he didn’t have any distinguishing warts. Those could have been any child’s severed legs. Though, in thinking about it, that probably didn’t make it much better…

The second incident was with a strange cat James encountered down the road. With amber-colored eyes and gray stripes, the tabby looked up from his breakfast bowl the moment James passed by. James stopped. How good were cats’ hearing? Probably better than human hearing, but...oh Merlin, the cat was approaching him. He was...he was pawing at the cloak. 

“Hey, hey, cut it out.” James snapped in a whisper. Could the cat really see the cloak? See him? How? After a brief struggle, James aimed a minor kick - really not aiming to hurt the tabby, but hopefully encourage him to get lost.

It didn’t work. The tabby looked more offended than anything. Staring right up at where James was standing under the cloak, he seemed to meet James’ eyes, and let out a defiant series of loud meows. James took that as his cue to bolt, and bolt he did. Ducking under a nearby fence and rolling his way into the nearest landmark - the cemetery. Getting up and straightening himself off, James paused - freezing his place. For he could hear footsteps. Rustled, panicked feet...and voices following them. 

“No, no! You stay away from me. Stay away! I know what you did.” 

“What _I_ did? You’re a fine one to talk. Had a chat with Auntie today?

James’ brown furrowed. He didn’t dare move, not when the voices seemed to be so close by. They were both girls’ voices, as far he could tell.

“Don’t come any closer! I swear, I’ll get my parents.” 

“Why, so you can hurt me again?” 

There was a horrible pause. James struggled to inch his way around, currently facing a tombstone, but able to hear the voices behind him. 

“How...how dare you-” The first voice, a raspy and gravelly tone, now sounded stunned. Hurt. 

“I’m not stupid, alright?” The second voice was softer, almost like a musical instrument. “If you don’t want me around, you could have just said so.” 

“I am saying so. And you are stupid!” 

“Go stuff it! My Dad was right about you.” James strained his ears. The second voice, at least, seemed to be a kid? Was she close to his age? 

“You don’t even have the decency to apologize…” Muttered the raspy girl, which prompted immediate fury from her companion. 

“ _Apologize?!_ Why you...look at me! Look at what’s happened to me, you think I’m the one who needs to-” 

“We’re done.” The raspy girl cut her off. “From now on, you leave me alone, get it? Here, and at Hogwarts.” 

James nearly fell over. Hogwarts? But that meant...that meant they were witches! They were part of his world. He could talk to them, show them his cloak...but how to break the ice? They were clearly fighting and probably wouldn’t appreciate his intrusion...or his eavesdropping, come to think of it. 

“This is what the past three years are worth to you, huh?” The sweet-voiced girl retorted, her tone a little thicker now. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. I gave more effort than you ever could.” The raspy girl snapped back, though she sounded equally upset. 

“Is that a joke? Do you have any idea how hard it was to hang out with you? Have you ever stopped to look in a mirror and remember just who you are?” 

The raspy voiced girl did not respond. But there was the sound of shifting feet, and a loud grunt. Something hard and metallic clocked James in the back of the head. Whatever it was, someone had seemingly thrown it at the tombstone. James could not resist the yelp of pain that escaped his mouth. “Ouch!” 

The air changed. “Who...who said that?” The sweet-voiced girl asked quietly. The raspy girl did not respond. But a moment later, the sound of brisk footsteps echoed in the cemetery. In another moment, James could hear another set of footsteps following suit. 

Paralyzed with the fear of exposure, and unable to look behind himself without making a sound and confirming his existence to anyone that might still be lingering, James stood still in place, occupying himself with reading the details on the headstone before him. The name seemed to have faded with age, but there was a death date listed from about seven years ago. 

“ _Go on, with your mother’s kiss, move forward into heaven’s bliss. Our sweet baby, gone from the nest, safe and sound in eternal rest._ ”

“ _For He must reign until He has put all His enemies under His feet._ _The last_ _enemy to be destroyed is death._ _For God has put everything under His feet._ ”

James read, but barely understood, and cared even less. He’d visited his grandparents’ graves in this very cemetery, and he found that it was common for them to be engraved with similar poetics. At last, figuring he might have stayed too long and that his mother might seriously make do on the threat to eat his birthday cake without him, James chanced a glance behind his shoulder. 

There was no one there. The two witches had left, and seemingly not returned. James now turned around entirely, glancing around the cemetery, ready to make his way back home, when he stumbled over something on the ground. 

Glancing down, it occurred to him that he must have found whatever he’d been hit with. Ever-curious, James crouched low to pick it up. Realizing in that moment that it was some kind of locket, disconnected from any sort of chain. It was silver in color, but dull and dreary compared to the shimmer of his cloak. Carved into the shape of a sea-shell, James located the clasps but found he could not open the locket. 

As of this point, he knew he had a choice to make. He could ask around, see if the locket belonged to anyone. But what if it was magical, somehow? James had enough sense to know that he mustn’t draw any attention to magic, however cool it would be to show the muggles. So what to do? He could give it to his parents...but they would want to know the story of how he found it. While he could lie, and simply say that he found it in the Cemetery, leaving out the part about the witches...Fleamont and Euphemia had grown rather adept at detecting James’ fibs. There was one more choice, of course. He could take with him to Hogwarts. See if he couldn’t find it’s owner there. It probably wasn’t the most responsible decision. 

Of course, James Potter was a number of things. Loud, obnoxious, daring, curious, and ultimately good hearted...but he sure wasn’t responsible. 


	2. A Slytherin Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young pure-blood arrives at Hogwarts, weighed down by the expectations of those around him, to discover just who he really is, and what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! It's Hogwarts time! Similar to Remembrance, you may find that there are time-skips. (Though I suppose the original books had those too.) Last time, we got to hear from James, so let's keep moving through the cycle!

“ _You think Hogwarts will change anything? He’ll be just as out of control there as he is here-_ ”

“ _Darling, you’re overreacting. The boy is eleven-_ ” 

“- _and it will reflect on us, Orion! He’s too wild, he’s nothing like his brother. If we don’t homeschool him, you mark my words: He’ll wind up as some blood-traitor Gryffindor-”_

“ _Don’t be foolish. Every Black in history has made Slytherin, it’s in his blood._ ”

“ _You never take this seriously! You think of him as a miniature version of yourself. But were you this volatile in your childhood? This contemptuous? Did you completely lack any Wizarding pride?_ ”

“ _Enough, Walburga. Think! Think of how it would look, what people would say about him behind our backs. You’re right, it does reflect on us. Which is why he goes to Hogwarts - that’s final._ ” 

“FWEEEET! FWEEEET FWEEEET!” 

A handsome boy with thick black hair and wide dark eyes suddenly snapped awake, raising his arms to shield his face, only to lower them at the sound of laughter beside him. Sirius Black glanced around, realizing that he was still aboard the Hogwarts Express. The screeching sound that had woken him must have been the train’s whistle. Squinting slightly, he turned to his new friend, the boy that shared his cabin. “What ‘appened?” 

James Potter gave a shrug. “You dozed off. Hey, don’t look at me. I warned you that eating all those Bertie Botts would put you in the food coma. I speak from experience. Still can’t believe you’d never tried them before.” 

“I have, once.” Sirius corrected him, smoothing out his robes. “My cousin Andie slipped them to me at a party, but my Mum found out and took them away.” 

“She's in Slytherin too?” Sirius noticed the slight derision in James’ tone, but also took note of his grin. He could tell James was teasing him. Having met each other earlier in the day, Sirius had decided after fifteen minutes of conversation that James was the coolest person he’d ever met. It was no surprise that he came from a Gryffindor family - but the downside of that was clear. He evidently saw Slytherin as the worst of the four Houses. 

“Yeah, she is. But as far as my family goes, she’s alright.” 

“FWEEEET! FWEEEET!” Sirius jumped again. Looking out the window to see the sky had darkened. It occurred to him now that the train must be stopping soon. They were probably passing by Hogsmeade at this very second. James tapped his shoulder. 

“Come on, we better get robes on.” 

Sirius continued to stare at the window as he changed. The first day at Hogwarts was usually a source of excitement for young witches and wizards. Usually. But for those in the know, it all came down to one particular moment. One irreversible test. In one fell swoop, Sirius would know exactly what sort of person he truly was - and he was afraid of the answer. No matter what it was. 

The train screeched yet again and grinded to a slow halt. Sirius threw out his hands for balance, grabbing onto whatever he could - which turned out to be the nearby cushion, and James’s hood. But James simply grinned - before pushing Sirius down onto the seat. “Bet I make it off the train before you!” He declared, before taking off. In spite of himself, Sirius was laughing. It was nice to laugh - and he wasn’t at all used to it. 

Getting up, he smoothed out his robes and made a dash out into the hallway of the train, only to trip over somebody else. Sirius collided with the door of a nearby carriage, and a girl with dark red hair and bright green eyes crashed into the floor with a yelp. Her companion, a pale boy with a hooked nose, quickly moved to help her up. “Can’t you watch where you’re going?” He hissed over in Sirius’ direction, before recognizing him. The pale’s boy’s face changed, as Sirius’ head throbbed. 

He slowly rolled over in place, as the two other kids got to their feet, the pale boy attempting to help brush off the red haired girl’s robes, but now she had recognized Sirius too. “You’re that boy from before, the one from the Slytherin family, yeah? She seemed to be appraising him. 

Sirius scoffed, having encountered these two before on the train, he didn’t much like them. “Yeah, I’m Sirius. One of the almighty Blacks. No doubt you’ve heard of us.” 

Though the girl’s face did not change, the boy’s did. He frowned slightly as the red-haired girl shook her head. “I don’t know anyone’s families. I’m still...I’m still pretty new to all this.” She suddenly seemed flustered. 

Sirius’ brow furrowed. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Would she be that open about it, if it were true? Maybe she was just antisocial. It couldn’t be anything worse...could it? Could she be a...no. There was no way. Sirius’ parents had warned him about people...like that. But she seemed harmless enough. 

The pale boy cut in. “Black? You’re with the Black family? My mother used to speak of you.” All of a sudden, he didn’t seem quite as hostile. “You really will be in Slytherin, then.” 

The assertion from the boy caused another pang in Sirius’ stomach. Maybe it was all the Bertie Botts he had eaten, but it was really starting to twist in knots. “Yeah...we’ll see. Anyway, I’ve got to catch up to a friend, so-” 

The girl’s almond green eyes glinted. “Friend...you mean that boy who looks like he just rolled out of bed?”

Sirius scowled. “His hair’s not _that_ messy.” It was, but he wasn’t about to agree with people trashing James. “Besides, at least he washes it.” He added. It was a low blow, but worth it.

The pale boy flushed. “Never mind him, we’re hoping to make Slytherin as well. Why don’t you hang out with us?” The red haired girl gave him a sideline glance, but said nothing. 

The offer gave Sirius pause, for only one moment, before he shook his head. “Thanks but no thanks...Snivellus, was it?” 

“Severus.” The red haired girl snapped. “His name is Severus Snape. And mine is Lily Evans, for your information.” 

“Yeah, whatever. See ya Evans. See ya, Snivellus.” Sirius responded, pushing past the two of them dismissively and racing after James. He could hear them talking about him as he opened the door, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t the first time that other Slytherins and would-be Slytherins had gossiped about him. At least time, they didn’t share blood. This time, he could disregard them. 

James was waiting outside, tapping his foot. When he saw Sirius, he triumphantly pumped his arms in the air. “There you are, slowpoke. What took you so long?” 

Sirius tilted his shoulder. “Ran into those kids from earlier, that boy with the greasy hair and the girl with the really green eyes. But I bet I beat you to the boats!” Now it was his turn to get the drop on James, as he took off - only for both of them to be stopped in their tracks. 

A very large man covered in thick hair and big coats, had suddenly grabbed them by the hoods. “Not’ so fast now, firs’ years. Yeh hav ter come with me.” From where Sirius was standing, the man looked taller than a building, and almost as wide. But when he gave a whiskery smile, it seemed genuine. 

James looked excited. “You’re Hagrid! I’ve heard of you!” Wait a minute...Hagrid? Sirius’ fear suddenly returned again. The delusional oaf that liked to keep monsters under his bed? Sirius had heard his parents complaining about him more than once, proclaimed him to be one of Dumbledore’s most obvious failures. Growing up on stories of first years being fed to dragon cubs and used for trolls’ batting practice, Sirius found himself wincing. James really had no idea, did he? 

But then Hagrid released both Sirius and James. “Thas’ right, ‘m keeper of the grounds n keys. An’ right now, me job is to take you lot to the boats. So fall in line!” He bellowed, now talking to the entire group of children that had departed the train. “Older students, show the secon’ years to the carriages. Firs’ years, you all are with me. This way!” 

Sirius walked alongside James as Hagrid led them into the night, half-worried that he was going to feed them to the fabled Giant Squid, but he seemed friendly enough...thinking back, he could still remember the horror stories that his mother had told him about the enormous man...but maybe she’d exaggerated. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

The Black Lake was vast, with the castle twinkling in the distance - the lights reflecting and dancing upon the water’s surface to create a kind of distorted illusion of the night sky above them. Hagrid directed the students to pair up and climb into one of the boats. Instinctively, Sirius grabbed onto James’ sleeve, and it wasn’t long before they’d found a boat. 

A few feet away, he took notice of Lily Evans and Severus Snape, climbing into another boat. On their other side, a girl who appeared to be blind was being helped into a boat by a blond boy who Sirius recognized vaguely from his parents’ parties. Family name was...Longbottom, yes, that was it. There was only a slight delay as Hagrid had to help calm another first year having a panic attack about the deep water, before they set off. 

It was then that Sirius made an important discovery about himself and the world around him. Seasickness, motion sickness, was very much a thing. And he, Sirius, was highly prone to it. Most importantly, motion sickness...kinda sucked. 

“Ohh….” He groaned, leaning forward. “James...if I puke, you’ll take the blame, right?” There was a pause. He’d been expecting some kind of fun quip in response. “...Right?” 

But James was distracted, studying something in his hand, a kind of large, silver object in the shape of a seashell. He looked up when Sirius repeated the joke. “What?” 

Desperate to find some kind of distraction from the motion sickness and mounting anxiety, Sirius took interest. “Never mind, what’s that you got there? Pocketwatch?” 

“Locket, I think.” James shrugged, holding it up under the moonlight for Sirius to see. Despite the age, and the scratches, it managed to glint just a little. “Found this back home in Godric’s Hollow. I’m not sure who it belongs to, but...I know she’s at Hogwarts.” 

Sirius listened while James recounted the story. Pausing him at different points to ask questions. “Wait a second, you’ve got an Invisibility Cloak?” 

James grinned. “Sure do. We’ll have to give it a go sometime.” He hesitated, and then added in a tone that suggested he was trying to sound a lot cooler and more relaxed than he really felt. “I mean, y’know, unless you make Slytherin. Then I’ll have to use it on you instead. Nothing personal, you know how it is.” 

Sirius tried to chuckle, but his stomach was in too much pain. So he settled on an uncomfortable “Yeah...sure.” 

The boys fell silent for a while. Sirius was still fighting the battle with his guts, and across multiple levels, he was losing. If the water beneath them lurched one more time, he thought he might seriously be sick. That would be a great start to the year, especially if he puked on James. 

James….

Sirius gulped and risked a glance at his new friend, who was staring idly ahead at the boat diagonal to them, where Snape and Evans were talking in low voices. Yet when he looked at James, he felt more sick than ever. How was it that such an inspiring and cool person was filling him with this much unease? Ever since he had learned of James’ surname, that sense of dread had filled his belly and now it was worse than ever.

“ _Did you hear what Potter was saying about me? Did you hear it?_ ” 

“ _Dear, everyone at the party heard you shriek at him like a banshee, how could I have missed it?_ ” 

“ _You’re taking his side over mine? What’s the matter with you? He had the nerve to speak ill of the hostess in her own home!_ ” 

“ _I suppose you’ll want him banned from all future parties? If you keep doing this, we’re going to run out of guests. First it was the Weasleys, then the Tilandrs, and now the Potters?_ ” 

“ _Blood traitors! All of them! Our family shouldn’t consort with such filth._ ” 

“ _Fleamont Potter may very well be a blood traitor, Walburga. But it’s not because he took note of your insufferable whining._ ” 

“ _How dare you-!_ ” 

“Oi, Sirius, was it?” 

Sirius blinked, shaking himself free of the memory to realize that someone was calling out to him. It wasn’t James. No, it came from a few feet away. A girl’s voice. It was Evans. 

James looked around. “Oh, it’s the the brawnless and the brainless!” He snickered, echoing their conversation from earlier. 

Evans rolled her eyes, turning back again to Sirius. “We-well, that is, I, wanted to get your opinion on something.” Sure enough, Snape seemed far less keen to be having the conversation. He learned forward as Evans continued. “You come from a Slytherin family, through and through, is that right?” 

Sirius gulped, keenly aware that James was sitting right beside him. “What of it?” 

Snape cut in. “So you’d agree that it’s the best House of the four, of course. Lily’s having doubts.” 

James let out a scoff. “It’s the best House, yeah. If you like hiding from everyone in the dungeons to practice muggle hunting and dark magic.” 

“Muggle hunting?!” Evans’ green eyes widened in alarm. Snape suddenly looked just as afraid as she did. 

“Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and we weren’t asking you anyway.” 

“Don’t need to ask me. Everyone knows it.” James glowered back at Snape, his glasses reflecting the light of the lanterns that stood at the front of each boat. Sirius felt his stomach turn over again. 

“Sirius, tell me. Do Slytherins hunt muggles?” Evans kept her gaze fixed on him and ignored Snape’s protests. When he tried to grab her arm, she shoved him aside. 

Sirius knew the answer to that question was no. Of course Slytherins didn’t hunt the non-magical people. For a start, there weren’t even any of them within Hogwarts’ walls to begin with. For another, the Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was famously tolerant of them. No Slytherin would be able to go “muggle hunting” on his watch. But there was a bigger question hiding in Evans’ eyes. A serious concern that she could not name. Sirius knew the answer, on the surface, was no. Yet when he opened his mouth, he couldn’t say it. 

That was when he felt a hand on his shoulder. James. The boy with messy hair scooted closer to him. “Wait a second...you’re muggle-born, aren’t you?” 

Evans flushed, and looked aside. So it was true. She really didn’t come from any Wizard stock at all. Sirius had known that sort of thing was possible, but his parents had strictly warned him away from associating with anyone like that. “Mudbloods” was the word his mother had used. 

Sirius was now convinced that he would puke before the night was over. His stomach was killing him - maybe he’d need a trip to the Hospital Wing. 

When neither Evans nor Snape responded to James’ question, he simply continued. “Slytherins don’t like Muggle-borns. If your family isn’t magical, you don’t want to go there. I’m not joking this time.” 

Snape was twitching slightly. “Slytherin is a House of...tradition.” he countered, his voice clipped. “You’re making it sound like a bigger deal than it is.” 

Sirius glanced away from the conversation, and green eyes met his own. James and Snape were arguing, but neither Sirius nor Evans were chiming in. Truth be told, he didn’t know what to say. Or what to do. James was part of a pureblood magical family. But he rejected his Wizarding pride. Rejected Slytherin. Snape was seemingly from a magical family as well, and he embraced the expected values. Lily Evans was a...well, she wasn’t magical in the same way as James and Snape. But if she was going to be in Slytherin, did that mean he could be her friend? Would that be allowed? 

Sirius doubled over, the world echoing around him in a blur of truth and opinion, with no way to know which was which. What if he didn’t even make Slytherin? What if his mother had been right about him, and he had no future? He’d been directed to a path he didn’t want to take, but there was no turning back, and no turning left or right. He could only move forward, or fail to do so. 

“ _He’s too wild, he’s nothing like his brother. If we don’t homeschool him, you mark my words: He’ll wind up as some blood-traitor Gryffindor._ ”

Sirius didn’t want to betray his family. He didn’t want to be like them either. But perhaps the worst detail of all...was that it wasn’t his choice. Not really. At the end of the day, the test would determine who he was. Nothing more, nothing less. 

As he turned back into the conversation, he noticed that there were two conversations going on at once,now. James was talking to Evans about the seashell, seemingly asking her if it belonged to her. Meanwhile, Snape had been trying to get his attention. 

“Tell her, come on, tell her. Slytherin isn't so bad. It’s far better than Gryffindor.”

“No, I’ve never been to “Godric’s Hollow. I’ve had lockets, but never a silver one-”   
  


You’re a Black, you know the difference. Come on, Black, we’re going to be House-mates. 

“So you think it belongs to someone here?” 

So help me out!”” 

“ _Every Black in history has made Slytherin, it’s in his blood._ ”

So much noise. It was caving in on him and somehow the pressure on his ears only made Sirius’ battle with his stomach all the worse. He just wished Snape would go away. He reached his breaking point when Snape shouted, “ _Just do as I say!_ ” 

“Here, have a better look.” Sirius roared back at him and grabbed the locket from James’ hand - hurling it at the other boat. Snape had approximately one second to register surprise before the seashell hit him in the forehead. 

“Ahhh!!” He flung backwards, from pain or perhaps instinct, Sirius couldn’t be sure. But with a huge splash and a second scream from Lily Evans, everyone seemed to catch on immediately to what happened. Snape had fallen into the lake. Pandemonium descended upon the first years, with no one other than Sirius, James, and Evans being certain of how it had happened. 

“Help him! Help him!” Evans was screaming, trying to reach out and grab Snape, who was spluttering and gasping like a cat. 

James, meanwhile, was having the obscenely inappropriate but ultimately understandable reaction of laughing his head off. Perhaps it was social pressure, but when James laughed, everyone else laughed too. Even Sirius, and he wasn’t quite sure why. He wasn’t sure why he had done it, either. But within a few minutes, Snape was safely back inside his boat, so Sirius didn’t feel quite so bad about it. 

While he sustained no physical injury, Snape appeared to be quite shell-shocked, constantly muttering to Evans amid his shivering as she covered him with her cloak. “Tentacle, are you mad? What do you mean, you saw a tentacle?” 

James, having gathered himself, now turned back to Sirius, wiping a tear from his eye. “Okay, you evil genius, how did you come up with that?” 

Sirius found, to his surprise, that the pain in his stomach had lessened considerably. “Just thought he could use a swim. Bout time he washed his hair, am I right?” 

James and Sirius roared with laughter again, clutching each other’s shoulders, as Evans glared at them from across the lake. It wasn’t until everyone had arrived at the castle and gotten into line again, that James stopped. Checking his pockets. Pulling out his wand and replacing it again. He turned back to Sirius. “The locket, mate. I’ve just realized - do you suppose they have it? Or...did it go into the lake?” 

Sirius gulped. Feeling another pang - oh well, at least the relief from his stomach ache had been nice while it lasted - “Which answer do you like better? Which would make it easier to get back?” 

James paused, considering the question, before he chuckled again. “I suppose we’ll have to ask them after the Sorting.” 

Within fifteen minutes, the first years had all been escorted into the castle by the Deputy Headmistress, who James kept gushing about amid hushed whispers. At one point, Evans seemingly tried to report what Sirius had done, but Snape hushed her rather quickly. 

As they drew nearer and nearer to the test, Sirius felt the urge to puke return in full force. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. If he failed this test, if he...made Gryffindor, his mother would surely force him to be homeschooled instead. Or worse, disown him from the family. That could happen if one was not up to snuff. And yet, he awaited the hope that he would make Slytherin with immense dread. 

All too soon, Sirius heard his name called for the Sorting. It was time to face the music. As he approached the stool, Sirius turned back in place to catch James’ eye. Wondered if the wordless plea for help, for forgiveness, would be accepted. 

“ _Every Black in history has made Slytherin, it’s in his blood._ ”

McGonagall called his name again and he finished the journey, sitting down on the stool. Before the Sorting Hat claimed his head, Sirius caught the eyes of Lily Evans, wide with intrigue. With yet another sickening lurch in his mid-section, Sirius thought about her question from before. About muggle hunting, and what it would mean for him to follow tradition. To conform. To take the only option he was allowed. 

“GRYFFINDOR!” 

All was silent for a moment. Across the Great Hall, no one said a word. Sirius’ own mind had jammed, because the Sorting Hat had spoken a name that it simply could not. For he was a Black. There was only one House he could go to. This was a dream, that much was certain. A nightmare? He couldn’t be sure. All he knew was that this wasn’t real. Everything blurred, the world around him buzzed. 

It wasn’t until McGonagall gently tapped his shoulder that Sirius returned to reality. Only...she was beaming. As his hearing returned, Sirius could hear cheering. Applauding. The Gryffindor Table was welcoming him. 

He didn’t dare look at Slytherin’s table, where his cousins were. Andie would understand, surely, but Cissy? She’d write to his parents within the week. He’d be yanked from Hogwarts before he could learn one charm. 

And yet….

As Sirius stumbled his way down through the crowd toward Gryffindor’s table, nearly falling over, he was caught in place by none other than James. In that moment, Sirius realized why he felt so odd. His stomach pain was entirely gone. He felt accepted. He felt relief. He felt free.

It was an unfamiliar sensation.

“Nice going, I knew you were something great.” James whispered, clapping him on the back. “Save me a seat, yeah?” 

For the first time, Sirius realized, he might have a place in the world. A place that he belonged. Not only that...but a place that he wanted to belong. 

This too, was an unfamiliar sensation. But he wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two down, and two to go. 
> 
> You may be starting to get the sense of how this will be formatted. We're still in the introduction phase, and in a sense, the majority of the first year will be that phase, but the style should remain consistent. 
> 
> Thanks to anyone who checks this out! You are all wonderful Bertie Botts!


	3. Dusk until Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new arrival at Hogwarts must adjust to his changed life, but can he do it alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this took way too long to finish, and my apologies for that. I kept going back and forth and changing the lines during the second half, and I'm sure you'll understand why soon enough. But that's enough out of me. I'm so glad to be able to post this, for anyone who might like to check it out!

The nightmares had not stopped.

Not since school had started. 

For Remus Lupin, they had been a recurring presence in his life since he was a very small boy. He was still a small boy, but he had been even smaller when the nightmares started. Yet it was not since he had come to Hogwarts that they had gotten this bad. To the point that he began to worry about his roommates taking notice of his unrest. There were a number of reasons that he didn’t want to be noticed, and two of his three roommates were especially unruly. If they took notice of him, that could be...well, it could be very bad. 

It wasn’t as though Remus was afraid of setting foot in the Hospital Wing. He had been there on his first night, having discreetly waited in the Gryffindor Common Room until everyone else had gone to bed, pretending to be reading. Awaiting Professor McGonagall’s arrival so that she could escort him there. No, Remus had...a health condition, as Madam Pomfrey had referred to it. He was prepared to spend a lot of time in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing before his seven years were up. It was more that he would prefer his classmates not to know this. He didn’t want to be noticed. 

It didn’t help that on that first night, when Remus had paid a visit to the Hospital Wing, another student was already there. He hadn’t bargained on that, Professor McGonagall had assured him that it would surely be empty - but another first year laid shivering on one of the hospital beds when Remus arrived, muttering complaints about hypothermia and something about tentacles. Remus had tried to avoid his eye, but the other boy had seemingly remarkable hearing and jumped at the sound of footsteps. 

Remus looked around for Madam Pomfrey. But she was not in. He felt his throat close up. He would have to engage with that other student, which was something he would sooner have avoided at any cost. Making friends was all well and good, but he did not want to be seen in this moment. Not here, not in the Hospital Wing, after hours…

He forced himself to speak. “M-M-Madam Pomfrey?” 

The other boy, who had a hooked nose, pallid skin, and greasy black hair, scoffed slightly. “She’s fetching some Pepperup potion. Did you get shoved into the lake as well?” 

Remus was a bit thrown that he had actually been asked a question. The other boy hadn’t just answered him, he’d taken the opportunity to carry on the conversation. How did one converse with people who were not parents, or teachers? “Er...no?” 

“Oh. Then what are you doing here?” 

“Ah, there you are, Mr. Lupin.” Came a third voice. 

Remus winced as Madam Pomfrey appeared in the doorway. In just a few simple words she had both rescued him from socializing, and doomed him in ways she couldn’t possibly understand. The other boy had now heard his name. Seen his face. Heard his voice. It would only be a matter of time now. 

“I’ll be with you in a moment.” Madam Pomfrey assured him, moving into the room with a flask in her hands. “Come now, sit up Mr. Snape, and drink this.” Remus watched as the student called Snape obeyed, and Madam Pomfrey continued. “Now lay down and close your eyes. Not another word.” She added, cutting him off as he seemed to try and speak. 

“M-Madam Pomfrey, I…” Remus broke off, feeling his neck start to sweat. 

“Come now Mr. Lupin, this way. Did you get lost? Take a wrong turn on the way back from the bathroom? I’ll take you back to your Common Room.” 

Relief flooded Remus’ heart and he found himself nodding, perhaps too eagerly. “Right, yes. I...I...well, it’s a big castle.” He babbled, despite having no real need to say anything else. Pomfrey took him by the arm, and they proceeded to depart the Hospital Wing. 

Pomfrey waited until they were out of earshot of Snape, walking down the corridor. She lit her wand and stared ahead, while addressing Remus. “I’m so sorry, we weren’t expecting to have any other visitors tonight, but it seems that some deeply misbehaved children decided it would be funny to frighten their peer, and he fell into the Black Lake. My word, you kids sometimes..” She shook her head. 

“So that was what that big splash was…” Remus recalled. He’d been a bit preoccupied at the time, trying to help the other boy in his boat calm down from a panic attack. Remus feared a great many things, such as heights and enclosed spaces, squirrels and large birds, being outside after dark, even on bright moonlit nights. Especially on moonlit nights. He even feared himself sometimes. But curiously, he found that he was fine with deep water. His boating companion had not been, and Remus had spent most of the ride trying to soothe him and relax his breathing pattern. That is, until the splash. 

“In any event, you needn’t worry about a thing.” Pomfrey continued briskly, stopping Remus as he started to make a left turn. “No, not that way. We’re heading out onto the grounds. Hagrid is waiting for us.” 

“Hagrid?” Remus gulped slightly. The oversized man seemed friendly enough, but his parents had warned him that no one grew to be that large naturally. His father had seemed convinced that either Rubeus Hagrid had experimented with some kind of shady and taboo magic - which wasn’t all that unreasonable, he was also said to keep monsters in his cabin - or that the man possessed some giant’s blood. Remus wasn’t sure which was worse. Still, he was determined to keep an open mind about such a person, all things considered….

“Yes, Hagrid.” Pomfrey seeked to pick up on Remus’ nerves, leading him down the twisting staircases of Hogwarts’ castle. Stopping him before his foot sank into a trip step. “He’ll be keeping watch for us, not just tonight, but all subsequent nights that you have….an appointment.” She gritted her teeth slightly before moving on, seemingly uncertain in her terminology. But that was okay. Remus almost felt that she was being too kind. “Rubeus Hagrid is a good man, a loyal man...I’ll grant you, he’s slightly odd...and perhaps a bit too fascinated with all this, but...he loves this school more than anything. He would take a curse for Professor Dumbledore, or any of the students here. I promise you, Mr. Lupin. He can be trusted.” 

Remus gulped slightly. Trust was a difficult thing to fathom when one kept secrets. And there were so many secrets surrounding Remus Lupin. Some that he knew, some that he did not. Some that needed to be spoken, others that never could. How could ever trust anyone with his secrets? At least some of the staff already knew, which was a saving grace... McGonagall, Dumbledore, Pomfrey...and this Hagrid person, but did anyone else know? What about the other students? Those he was supposed to call “friend?” What about the chubby boy with the watery eyes, who had clutched at him, crying about not wanting to drown? What would he say if he knew that he ran from his fears, only to hide behind a monster’s back? 

“It’s just outside, Mr. Lupin. Only a short walk across the grounds, and I can show you where we’ve planted the Willow. After that, you’ll see there’s a secret-are you listening to me at all, Mr. Lupin?” Pomfrey snapped, somewhat indignantly, waving her hand before his face. 

Remus did not break from his stupor. He lightly pushed her hand aside and pointed. There was someone just ahead. Someone small and rotund, wandering aimlessly. Remus felt his heart beat quickening - or had it stopped altogether? He knew this school had ghosts, and even a poltergeist...but no, this appeared to be a human. A kid. Another student. Had they been overheard? Was he about to have a second person onto him? It couldn’t be the same boy as before, right?

No, that boy had been skinny. This one was fatter. In fact, as Remus got a closer look at him…

“Excuse me, young man? Just what do you think you’re doing out this late?” Madam Pomfrey approached him, shaking her head. “The feast is over, you were meant to go up to your Common Room, so why have you-” She broke off, staring at the boy. For he had not looked up at all. He continued to walk in a figure-eight, staring at the floor. Remus realized what was going on right as Pomfrey said it aloud. 

“Ah...sleepwalking. Come now, we should get you up to bed. Hey, it’s alright, rise and shine…” She gently shook the boy, and he seemed to stir from his unconscious state. “Mum…?” He called out faintly, squinting. Before he seemed to remember himself, going red as he saw Pomfrey. “I...what happened?” 

That voice. Remus would never forget that voice. It really  _ was _ him, the boy from before, who’d had the panic attack. Remus, before he could stop himself, stepped forward. “You were sleepwalking. Must have come all the way down here from Gryffindor Tower. Er, hi. Hello again.” He added in a sheepish mumble. 

“You two know each other?” Madam Pomfrey glanced between the two boys, catching Remus’ eye as soon as he’d looked up again. They were both thinking the same thing and he knew it. The other boy - what was his name again? Was it Perry? - was a Gryffindor. He was in Remus’ year. That meant they were roommates. And he had simply seen too much. Remus watched Pomfrey’s brow furrow and knew that the expedition they had planned would simply have to be cancelled and put off to another night. 

“Right, hi! I, that is...we do, yes. Sorta.” The rotund boy offered a shrug, apparently just as shy as Remus himself. “I’m sorry, I...I’m Peter. Peter Pettigrew. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.” 

“No trouble at all, Mr. Pettigrew.” Pomfrey assured him. “Hogwarts is a big adjustment, these things happen. If it continues, I can fix you up with something for it.” 

“That would be great if you could!” Peter jumped slightly in place before looking down and blushing again. Remus knew what was coming. He knew Peter wouldn’t feel safe returning to Gryffindor Tower alone, so of course he and Pomfrey would go with him. After all, it’s not as though they could give any other excuse for why the Hogwarts Nurse was escorting a first year around after hours. The only explanation -apart from the truth - was that he was lost and she was giving him directions. 

“Come, this way boys. You’ll be back to your dormitory in no time.” Pomfrey beckoned them, and Remus began to walk alongside Peter, who chatted to him nonstop, giving Remus the impression that he’d been dying to talk to someone for a long time. They talked about the day they got their letters, about how amazing Diagon Alley was. They bonded over both having very strict parents. They bonded over a mutual disinterest in Quidditch. 

By the time Madam Pomfrey left them off at the portrait of the Fat Lady, Remus felt something that he wasn’t used to. A feeling of hope. The hope that he might actually have a friend at Hogwarts. 

The Portrait closed, and Peter grew flushed again, turning away from Remus. Evidently, now that they were alone, it seemed as though the spark had vanished. Remus’ sense of hope began to die as he wondered if perhaps Peter had only socialized with him because Pomfrey had been there. If he didn’t truly want to know someone so….well, someone like Remus. 

“I’m...uh. I’m sorry about earlier.” Peter moved to sit on the couch before the fireplace, where embers glowed. 

Remus was thrown by this. “You’re sorry? Wait, what for?” 

“Well, y’know. For freaking out and all that. I promise I’m not that much of a coward. Not all the time. Just...sometimes I freeze, and...I don’t know what to do.” Peter Pettigrew turned in place and hugged a nearby pillow. 

The sigh of relief that escaped Remus’ lungs was far too audible to not leave him embarrassed. 

“Listen, I know exactly how that feels. Promise. But the Sorting Hat put us in Gryffindor, right? My Dad says the Sorting Hat is never wrong.” 

“It almost didn’t.” Peter muttered quietly, before seeming to realize that he’d spoken aloud, and hiding his face in the pillow. Remus gulped, feeling genuine concern. He reached out to touch Peter’s arm, to inquire further...but then he hesitated.

He froze. 

Maybe everyone had secrets like his. Things they would rather not talk about. Maybe everyone had darkness inside of their souls like he did. He’d always been ashamed, and he still was...but seeing the way Peter recoiled and tried to hide himself like a little ball...Remus didn’t know what happened during Peter’s Sorting, but whatever it was had affected him. And whatever it was...was his business. 

“Well. In the end, we know what the Hat decided. That’s all that matters, not could-have-beens or maybes.” Remus struggled in his tone, trying to sound certain. Trying to sound comforting. When Peter did not respond, Remus bit his lip. Had he said the wrong thing?

There was a discomforted, pregnant pause. 

“I’m...I think we should go to bed now.” Remus laid a hand on his shoulder. “Y’know, just cause...cause we start our classes tomorrow and...should probably get some sleep and all…” 

Another pause. Peter finally sat up, and Remus was shocked to see tears stained on his face. “Yeah, bed. Bed! We should go to bed.” He seemed to nod, to agree almost too eagerly. In another ten minutes, bed was exactly where he was, laying wide awake in his four poster. Whatever he’d said, he didn’t actually want to sleep. Because with sleep, there came dreams. And with dreams, nightmares. 

It was a strange juxtaposition, for the soft comforts of his bed to bring about such anxiety. But for Remus, sleep was, and had always been, an enemy. When he was asleep, he was not himself. He was unaware, in a different world. His soul trapped in whatever reality his mind created, leaving no escape, no way back to his body. And in the absence of his soul...his body had a mind of its own. If only it was confined to simple sleepwalking. 

The next morning, Remus tread as lightly as he could, keeping his head down in the hallways and in his classes. He made it exactly two hours, before his life ended. 

He was in the middle of transfiguration, huddled into a ball and clutching a pillow, when the doors burst open. Remus jumped as the hook-nosed boy from the Hospital Wing marched inside and pointed right at him. “That’s him! That’s him there. He’s the one. He’s the Werewolf! Lock him up! Lock up the monster!” The boy shouted, and it wasn’t long before the Aurors followed him. Remus was screaming, as they dragged him off - begging for a second chance, promising that he wanted to be normal, that he would do everything he could-”

“Wake up! Come on, you gotta wake up!” 

Just like that, his reality snapped. He was back in his bed - if only for a moment, before he rolled out of it and fell onto the floor. Tears and sweat streamed down his face as he clutched the blankets, his heart pounding like he’d run a marathon.

Two concerned faces stared back at him. To his right, a boy with glasses and the messiest case of bedhead he’d ever seen. To his left, a boy with thick black hair and dark brown eyes. A very good looking boy. Remus gulped, feeling his neck tingle slightly as he glanced between them. In the background, there was Peter, timidly watching from the other end of the room and biting his nails. 

“I’m...I’m so sorry, if I disturbed anyone.” Remus babbled, trying and failing to stand up, tripping over his own sheets. “Just a bad dream, no big deal, I-” He stumbled, and just like that, the dark-eyed boy caught him. Remus gulped, as he was gently set back down on the bed. The boy with glasses was shaking his head. “I’ve had bad dreams, mate. I once dreamed that a Nundu was chasing me and trying to eat me. Had that dream for like, a week, before my Mum gave me some dreamless sleep potion.” 

The other boy, the one who was far too handsome, nodded and clapped his arm. “And whatever your nightmare was...well, it seemed pretty bad. Way worse than a big scary cat, that’s for sure.” He added in an aside, before the boy with glasses threw a pillow at him. 

“Point is,” He moved to sit on Remus’ other side. “nightmares are bloody awful, and you shouldn’t feel like they’re your fault. Madam Pomfrey’s got to have some dreamless sleep potion, and you’ve already met her, haven’t you?” 

Remus glanced over at Peter, who blushed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Sorry, just...you were tossing and turning, thrashing about, and even yelling, so-” 

“So I asked if anyone knew you, or anything about you.” The dark-eyed boy finished. “Then you almost punched your four-poster, so...we decided to try and wake you.” He glanced at Remus, who felt a mixed rush of emotions. What had he said while he was asleep? What could he have blurted out? What if they knew? 

“I...thank you, but. It’s nothing, really. I…” Did they care, did they truly, honestly care? Perhaps they did...but a small voice in the back of Remus’ mind firmly insisted that he was just being a bother to them, disrupting their sleep. But that was when it hit him. He nearly fell out of the bed again. 

“It’s morning! What time is it, have classes started? I-” He continued to babble as the boy with glasses started to laugh.

“Not even close. I don’t even think breakfast has started yet, and after last night’s meal I really want to see the encore. Come on, we can talk to Madam Pomfrey later if you like. Let’s at least get some food.” He offered Remus his hand. 

Remus hesitated. 

“I’m James,” the boy with spectacles said, still chuckling. “This is Sirius, but don’t worry, he’s not serious at all. He’s the good-looking one. I’m the clever one.” At this, the good-looking Sirius grabbed one of Remus’ pillows and began to chase James around with it. Peter seemed to watch nervously from afar, as though he wanted to join the pillow fight but was afraid of getting hit by a pillow. Remus could understand that. 

“And I’m Remus. I’m...well, I don’t know what I am yet, I guess.” This was a lie. He knew exactly what he was. But these other boys didn’t. If they liked him, or had the potential to like him...they were his roommates, after all, it only made sense to be friends with them...right?”

“That’s cause it’s the first day. You gotta “find yourself.” That’s what my Dad says. Sounds like it’s a load of rubbish, but then again, I already know who I am.” James smirked, before bounding over to Remus and again offering his hand. “What do you say we help you find out?” 

Remus knew now what he wanted. He knew what his choice would be. 

This time, he took James’ hand. 

“Off we go then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three down, and one to go. 
> 
> ...and it's the most controversial one, too. 
> 
> Yeah, I'll just say that writing Peter is...interesting. Keep in mind, this is eleven year old Peter, well before he sells out the Potters during the first war. So he's not going to be demonized, he's going to be treated as equally important to the other Marauders. Because he WAS one of them, once upon a time. Letting you know that upfront, just in case you really hate Peter and might want to jump ship for that reason. I will more than understand. 
> 
> On the other hand, Remus is my favorite Marauder, and I wonder if it shows. He's actually my favorite character in the Potterverse altogether. I relate to him a lot. I won't say the story is going to centralize him, because I truly do want to give the Marauders (plus Snape and Lily) equal focus. I want them all to have their own stories that tie together. But I should probably hush up now.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Thank you to anyone who leaves your thoughts, be they positive or negative. I love comments of all sorts!


	4. Professor Quill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Halloween night, a young Marauder must face his greatest fear of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've arrived at Peter's chapter, which one of my dear friends has been pestering me about to make sure it didn't take as long as Remus' first chapter. (Hey Klarissa! I know you're reading this.) 
> 
> We've also hit the first time-skip. These are going to be employed periodically, but I'm not going to use dates or time stamps like I have in the past. I don't really think it's necessary in third-person because I can just add the time-jump to narration.

School was frightening. 

  
Peter had always known it would be. 

There hadn’t always been the language to describe it, but the fear was practically inborn. From the time that he could talk, Peter had wanted to know all about Hogwarts. But by a strange twist of fate, such a time wasn’t as long ago as one might think. For the first six years of his life, Peter had not spoken a single word. He had been what his muggle neighbors had called “non-verbal” for all of his earliest memories. When he had finally spoken, his parents had told him all about the adventures that lay in wait for him at Hogwarts school. The knights who stood proud and guarded the corridors, who seemed utterly still but legends claimed they would come to life when threatened. The endless and deadly forest that lay at the foot of the castle. Hogwarts was home to the gallant heroes - and the wicked villains - of tomorrow. He had fallen asleep each night jittering with excitement...and also with fear. 

But even before he was verbal, even when he could not speak and thoughts had not graduated from wordless emotion...Peter had known fear. He had seen it in his parents’ eyes, almost every day. It was like something was looming outside their doorstep each night, and Peter never dared go to the window in case it would be there, and burst in to snatch him. As he got older, as he learned to read, he had found the newspaper clippings, cut out and saved, hidden away in his parents’ room. Speaking of attacks, of muggles being killed. Something was on the rise, and it all seemed to circle around one particular wizard...but Peter could never remember his name. It was long, and complicated. Like the name Pettigrew. His own name, and he still struggled to spell it when he signed his school essays. 

Names were curious things. He could still recall the night that James had broken down how each of them had a “plural” name, in the sense that all of their names ended with the letter “S.” Well, all of them except Peter. He’d forced himself to laugh several times now, each time that James brought it up and asked, “Why aren’t you plural, Peter?” To which Remus would always respond, “Oh, give it a rest, James.” And, inevitably, the bespectacled boy would shoot back, “But how many James?” There were other odd names at their school as well. Fawcett and Longbottom and Shacklebolt. And then there was Crowe. 

Peter had been quick to learn that there were a number of people at Hogwarts who were not especially nice. Certain Professors like Sprout and Slughorn were kind enough, but then there were others who terrified him. Despite how much James insisted he was nice, Peter refused to go anywhere near the gamekeeper, Rubeus Hagrid. Professor Quill, who taught Defense Against the Dark Arts, had a keen reputation as well - no one wanted to get on her bad side. Even Peter’s own Head of House, Minerva McGonagall, intimidated him - again, despite James’ insistence that she was incredible. 

But among the students, particularly the Slytherins, it was even worse. Esteban Mulciber, Thalia Travers, Severus Snape...they all formed a kind of gang that would push around anyone they could, just to prove that they could. Peter never knew what to do about them, because James and Sirius always wanted to prank them as repayment in kind, but Remus preferred the route of telling a teacher. Pranks were exciting, but it was too easy to get caught, surely. And the only teacher they could really tell was...well, McGonagall. In the absence of a Professor, a Prefect called Lucius Malfoy would often lurk around the group and take their side if any problems arose. 

But none of them - not McGonagall, not Malfoy, no one...compared to Soomin Crowe. 

She was an absolute nightmare, and Peter wasn’t quite sure what he could have done to get so far onto her bad side. During the first week of classes, the occupants of Gryffindor’s male dormitory had been struggling around lost, trying to find their way to their classes - mutually agreeing that the lack of available maps was a crime punishable with prison time - when they had stumbled upon Soomin Crowe, who had been walking with Lily Evans and Severus Snape. She had seemingly taken pity on them, and pointed them in the direction of the Herbology Greenhouses. The four boys gratefully accepted the help….

...until Lily Evans had chased them down a few minutes later, ignoring Snape’s attempts to call her back, and told them that once they’d been out of earshot, Soomin had admitted to pointing them in the direction of the Forbidden Forest instead. Ever since then, things had gone downhill. 

Despite seeming no better at socializing than Peter himself, Soomin Crowe had somehow clawed her way into the friend group that her fellow Slytherin first years had occupied. Through association to her, and Lucius Malfoy, the strange young boy called Severus Snape was seemingly getting on well with them too. The mountain of cruelty was climbing higher until it threatened to touch the sky, and it left everyone else far behind. 

Peter was currently hugging himself, trying to make himself look smaller, as he made his way through the corridors. It was easily the worst night of the school year so far. Not only was it Halloween, leaving a perfect opportunity for Crowe, Snape, and the others to pull some kind of stunt...but Sirius and James had both landed themselves in detention. Without them, Peter was constantly aware of how vulnerable he was. James and Sirius were...a lot, of course. But with them, he’d been safe. Then there was Remus. Where in Merlin’s name was Remus? Peter couldn’t seem to find him, and he’d checked the Common Room. He’d checked most of the other classrooms, able to remember by now, where they were all located. It was just like Remus to vanish, too. Last month, he snuck out of the dormitory in the middle of the night. When he’d returned the following morning, he couldn’t seem to make up his mind about where he had been. 

This was getting ridiculous. Peter had even checked McGonagall’s classroom. No sign of either of them. McGonagall, he knew, was at the feast. But where was Remus? There was only one classroom yet to be checked, and Peter sincerely would have preferred not to do so. Perhaps, he thought, he would just return to Gryffindor Tower and go to bed early. But even the idea of being alone in his dormitory seemed to trigger a kind of melancholy anxiety. He’d be safe there, but spending the whole night hiding in his pillow - comforting though it might have been - was also terribly lonely. 

Peter bit his lip. Staring down the corridor, knowing that Professor Quill’s classroom lay at the end of it. He could see the door. But even getting closer to it, even the thought of coming within a few feet of her classroom after nightfall...it frightened him. It was bad enough having to see her for lessons. What would Remus even be doing there? He didn’t have detention. He didn’t particularly care for Quill, any more than Peter did. It wasn’t like James’ hero-worship of McGonagall. No, there could be no chance that Remus would have decided to spend his Halloween there, of all places. Peter turned to leave. 

“Come on, this way. I told you, I worked it out.” 

“You sure you got the handwriting down?”

“Oh yeah, it’s all fancy. Trust me Thalia, he’ll be there.” 

Peter, despite having resolved to leave, found himself immediately flipping around in place and moving swiftly down the hall. There were voices. People coming, from around the bend. The voices were familiar, too. He would know that voice anywhere, because hearing it was like having thumbscrews jammed into his head. Peter hesitated, his hand hovering over the doorknob. Was he truly about to hide in Professor Quill’s classroom? What were the odds that she was even in there? But that wasn’t the real question, at the end of the day. The real question was - did he fear Professor Quill more than Soomin Crowe?

“Pettigrew?” 

Peter jumped, nearly falling against the door, shivering in place. He’d been about to swallow his fear and open the door. But he’d waited too long and now it was too late. 

“You idiot, Soomin. I should have known you weren’t up to this.” Mulciber snapped, cocking his head. 

“You _said_ you’d taken care of everything.” Travers hissed. So what’s his little friend doing here?” 

Soomin ignored her peers and stared straight ahead at Peter. She had long, black hair that fell in ringlets and always seemed to be a mess, almost as messy as James’ hair. Her dark brown eyes narrowed as she studied him. “What’s the damage, eh?” 

Peter tried to swallow, but suddenly found that his mouth was very dry. So dry, in fact, that he found he couldn’t speak either. After an excruciating pause, he managed to get “Damage?” out in a light squeak. 

“I can’t believe Potter actually posted Pettigrew of all people as a sentry.” Mulciber was cracking up. “Who in their right mind would trust him to hold down the fort?” 

“Button it, Esteban.” Soomin suddenly snapped. “I’m trying to gauge this…” She took a step closer to Peter, who flinched instinctively. Raising her wand, she caused him to cower even further as she lazily pointed it in his direction. 

“Come on then, out with it. What are you doing here, Pettigrew?” 

“Never mind what he’s doing here, we need to get rid of him.” Travers chimed in. “He could ruin everything.” She proceeded to draw her own wand as well. Soomin looked like she was going to argue, but Mulciber suddenly stepped in front of both of them, drawing his own wand. 

“Pettigrew, I’ll make this simple. Get out of here, and don’t show your face in this corridor for the rest of the night. And if you blab a word to anyone, the next time we find a Boggart, you’re going to be the one facing it, understand?”

Peter’s mind was spinning. Speaking itself was hard for him. With Mulciber’s wand in his face, it almost felt like he was six years old again, unable to talk even though by all accounts, he had no excuse for not managing it anymore. If every word was a battle, he knew he needed to make them count. Just agree, he thought to himself. Just agree and walk away. Give them what they want and they won’t bother you anymore. But Mulciber’s last words stuck in his head and when he did manage to vocalize, all he got out was “...Boggart?” 

Mulciber’s face fell. Travers slapped her forehead, and Soomin turned in place. “Oh, nicely done Estaban! Great work! He doesn’t even know why we’re here, do you Pettigrew?” Soomin shot at him, and Peter could only shake his head timidly. 

“But he does now.” Soomin continued, growling at Mulciber. “Because you just had to run your mouth. This is what I told you about, okay? You never trust me and it blows everything to hell, because my plans are actually _good,_ but they never work because you morons interfere!” Her voice was starting to rise. 

Travers seemed to sense danger, and a look of fear was crossing her eyes as they darted back and forth between her friends. “Soomin, just...just calm down-” 

“I won’t! When you interfere, things go wrong, and Esteban always blames me, and acts like it’s my fault. Like I don’t know what I’m doing, when really, you two need me to even function!” Soomin was close to shouting now, and Mulciber was shaking his head. Everyone seemed to have forgotten Peter, who was now considering trying to inch his way out of sight. 

“All we do is stop you from making mistakes that screw us all over.” Mulciber snapped. “Severus says you tried to send Black a nose-biting teacup. That he only just barely talked you out of it. Do you realize how much trouble we would get in if we didn’t stop your mad plans? You think they would work, but tell me, if this one is so brilliant, then where is he?” 

“I’m right here.” 

Everyone turned around at the sound of a new voice, which belonged to Severus Snape, walking down the corridor with Lily Evans in tow. “I’d apologize for being late, but I don’t particularly feel at fault. Soomin, your handwriting is revolting. I couldn’t tell what time you wanted us to meet. It was only when I looked around the Slytherin table and saw everyone gone that-

“Never mind.” Soomin interjected. “We’re not even talking about you. What did you bring her for?” She jerked her head toward Lily. 

“Nice to see you too, Crowe.” Lily responded coldly, tilting her head. “If you haven’t figured out by now that he and I are a packaged deal, that’s your own problem.” She glanced between the other people present, and then back at Snape, who looked disgruntled. Peter averted his eyes to see that Mulciber was staring at Snape and shaking his head. 

“Sev, you’ve gotta let this go. It’s getting stupid-” 

“What, I can’t have friends from other Houses?” 

“She’s a bloody Gryffindor-” 

“She’s different, I’m telling you, she’s different-”

“Hello?” Lily interjected. “She” has a name, and she’s still in the room.” At this, Snape glanced downward and blushed. 

Soomin rolled her eyes. “Never mind. Like always, things have been ruined. If not by Esteban, Severus and his girlfriend show up to wreck the plan. Well, I dunno about you lot, but I’m taking Cadogan’s pony. So you better clear out. Lupin’s never going to take the bait if you’re all standing around here like idiots.” 

Lily and Peter both shifted their heads at the same moment, and Peter caught the glance of bright green eyes. They were both wondering the same thing. “What are you going to do? Remus Lupin is a nice kid, he’s way nicer than his friends. Pettigrew, you aren’t mixed up in all this, are you?” 

Peter gulped, but his voice had yet to return to him. Despite having no idea what was going on, he found he could not say so. 

That’s none of your business, mudblood.” Soomin growled in Lily’s direction, her eyes fierce. All at once, the energy in the corridor changed. Snape stuffed his hands into his pockets and seemed to mutter something indiscernible. Travers and Mulciber did not react, but Peter felt his spine prickling. He couldn’t believe Soomin had actually gone that far. All eyes were on her and Lily.

“Mud...blood?” Lily frowned. “What’s that even supposed to mean? Is that because-” She broke off, and seemed to look toward Snape for help, but Snape was avoiding her eye. He seemed to have become very interested in his shoelaces. 

“It means you don’t belong here.” Soomin spoke again, with more clarity and purpose. As though she was repeating words, devastating words, that had been cycled a hundred times over many years. “You think I’m an idiot? “Evans” isn’t a magical family. You’re an outsider, you’re just trespassing here and pretending you have a place, because Dumbledore would let anyone in so long as they could make pretty sparks. You’re a freak, Evans.” 

Was it possible to feel another person’s pain? Lily looked as though she had been slapped, and for some reason he couldn’t quite place, Peter felt as though he took had been struck by Soomin’s terrible words. The only other person who seemed to have this internal conflict was Snape. Peter didn’t exactly know the boy very well, but...it was written all over his face. He kept glancing between Lily and Soomin, as if he couldn’t decide between comforting his friend and confronting what had been done to her. In the end, he hesitantly reached out as if to grab her shoulder, but it was too late. Lily turned around and stormed away. Peter thought he could hear the sound of a sob as she disappeared. 

Snape seemed to find his voice again. “Why did you do that? Why was that necessary?” He demanded, turning back to Soomin, who shrugged unabashedly. 

“She needed to clear out, and you should know better than anyone that she would have stuck around and tried to stop us. What are you so upset about anyway? I just told her the truth.” 

“Can we wrap up this conversation?” Travers spoke up, looking fearful. “As long as we’re still sticking to the plan, then we need to hide. Lupin will be along at any minute.” 

“Hold on,” Mulciber lifted a hand. “There’s still the matter of chubby here.” He jerked his thumb in Peter’s direction, causing him to wince again. “What do we do with him?” 

The four Slytherins present now turned their attention to stare at the lone Gryffindor. Peter hugged himself, trying to avoid their eyes. For someone who was supposed to be a lion, he felt much more like a mouse. What were they going to do to Remus? Could he warn Remus in time? If he could get away, perhaps. Trying to stop them outright was out of the question. It was four to one, Peter knew basic arithmetic. He also wasn’t exactly the most adept wizard out there. 

“P-p-please let me go.” Peter choked out. “I...I don’t want...trouble.” He forced himself to look up at the four of them. Finding Snape’s gaze. He was petrified of Snape, but as far as the gang went...well, he had a Gryffindor friend, didn’t he? A muggle born friend! Maybe Peter could appeal to him for sympathy…

But Soomin was still in control. “Okay Pettigrew, we’ll let you go.” 

“Oh the hell we will!” Mulciber started angrily, but Soomin lifted a finger without even looking at him. 

“We’ll let you go, after the prank’s over. Until then, consider yourself our prisoner.” As if on command, Travers moved forward and grabbed Peter all of a sudden, causing him to let out a whine of fear. 

Snape was glancing back along the corridor furtively, where Lily had disappeared. “What even is the prank, all I could make out from that mess of a note was to come to Quill’s classroom.” 

“It’s Halloween, Severus.” Folding her arms, Soomin stared at Peter and smirked as he was dragged away from the classroom door. “What better time to teach our rivals a lesson about who they should fear.” 

“Are they really our “rivals?” Mulciber muttered in a somewhat derisive tone, but Soomin ignored him. Peter struggled half-heartedly but Travers’ grip on him was too strong. Snape glanced between Peter and Soomin, as the latter continued. 

“Quill is covering Boggarts with her third year classes right now. Whatever Lupin fears the most, whether it’s Manticores or Grindylows or falling off a broom...well, he’s about to come face to face with his fear. I left a note in his last class, he thinks Potter and Black escaped from their detentions and they’re coming here.” 

“Seriously?” Snape was shaking his head. “What’s the point in that? Do you just enjoy torturing people, Soomin?” 

Soomin scoffed at Snape, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, that’s about what I’d expect from a loser who dallys with mudbloods.” 

“Soomin, I’m warning you, if you don’t back off-” 

“You’ll what? Wipe your hair on me?” 

“Shut your traps, both of you.” Mulciber stepped between them. “I’m telling you, I’ve had it with your bickering. In case you haven’t noticed, Thalia and I never actually invite you to hang out with us. You just tend to invite yourselves. We’re not your friends, okay? You two are just weird as Evans, and Potter’s gang.” 

Soomin shot a furious look at Travers, who stared guiltily at the floor. Recovering herself, Soomin stepped forward and shoved Mulciber. “Listen here, Esteban. This whole plan was my idea. I’m the one who got the tip about Quill teaching Boggarts. So step off. We’re both in Slytherin. We sit together in classes. We hang out in the Common Room. You may not think of me as a friend, but that’s too bad, because we still are friends - even if you’re lousy at it.” 

“Okay, can we all just give it a rest?” Travers seemed to find her voice at last. Peter was envious. “Soomin proposed this idea, and it’s all arranged. Can we hide already? If Lupin shows up and finds us all dawdling, it will have all been a waste of time. We can settle everything else later.” 

Peter and Snape exchanged another glance. Mulciber’s eyes darted between Snape and Soomin. The latter of whom seemed to drop the hostility in her posture. “Fine, everyone hide. Severus, are you in? Or are you going to run off like a wuss and comfort Evans?” 

Snape seemed to hang on the balls of his feet, as though he didn’t look forward to either prospect. After a moment’s pause, he shifted his head to one side. Avoiding Soomin’s heartless stare. But when he spoke, “Alright, I’m in. What do we do about Pettigrew?” 

Peter shuddered as he felt Travers tighten her hold on him. “Pettigrew will keep his mouth shut, won’t you? You’re not going to run off and blab to Lupin, right?” 

“If he does, I’m jinxing him into jelly.” Came Mulciber’s voice as he glowered in Peter’s direction. Feeling his heart pound, feeling claustrophobic in how utterly trapped he was, Peter winced and found himself nodding vigorously. 

“I won’t tell him, alright? I won’t tell Remus. J-just let me go, please!” 

Travers hold on Peter seemed to release, and he fell to the floor gathering deep breaths. He wasn’t certain why breathing had been so difficult beforehand; it wasn’t like Travers had grabbed him by the windpipe. But with every breath, Peter only felt more fear. This time it was mingled with something more...something hot and corrosive, counterbalancing the icy dread in his stomach. In another moment, Peter realized that he was ashamed of himself. How had he cracked so easily? If it had been James, he would have put all of these stupid Slytherins in their place, laughing the whole time! 

Looking upward, Peter found Soomin’s wand in his face. “Fine then, follow us. Don’t even try to make a break for it. We’re going to hide behind the statues. Esteban, make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.” 

With no choice, Peter found himself waddling alongside the Slytherin gang, moving to hide behind one of the knights. Vaguely wondering if they might come to life and rescue Remus for him, just like his parents’ stories had talked about. With Mulciber breathing behind him, Peter knew he couldn’t make a break for it. How could he stop Remus from going into Quill’s classroom without invoking the wrath of Soomin Crowe?

Peter sat there, stewing in his own shame, for the better part of ten minutes more. Occasionally, Travers and Mulciber would trade glances, and once or twice Mulciber muttered comments about Soomin’s penmanship being far worse than she thought it was. For a brief window of time, it seemed as though perhaps the plan had failed. That Remus hadn’t believed the false note. Peter hardly dared allow himself to believe it - that he might have been granted a reprieve. 

Footsteps. 

Oh...oh no…

There he was, shuffling along in secondhand robes that were a tad too big for him. Remus was there, at the end of the corridor, but drawing closer by the second. And he was holding a crumpled bit of parchment. Though her face was partially shadowed, Peter could see that Soomin was smirking. Peter felt his heart slowly cracking into pieces. 

He needed to do something. He needed to stop this. But what could he do? Soomin and her gang had won, they were in a league of their own. Much more powerful than he, Peter, could ever hope to be. They were like James and Sirius - so confident and sure of themselves. Even when they debated, it never stopped them from pulling off their pranks. How could he hope to stop them? 

Remus had arrived at the door. He knocked once, twice. “James?” He called out curiously. Nearby, Soomin swore under her breath. 

“Don’t knock, you idiot. Just go in.” 

Remus knocked a third time, however. But there came no answer. Tentatively, he reached out to open the door, and the creaking seemed to echo in Peter’s head despite how quiet it was. Remus hesitated, before starting to move inside. Then he was stopped by a voice that everyone heard, and everyone knew. 

“Do you need something, Mr. Lupin?” 

Soomin Crowe stumbled backward and crashed onto the floor. Travers looked petrified and even Mulciber had buried his face in his palm. But none of this compared to the absolute terror that Peter was currently experiencing. If he could die in that moment, he knew it would be preferable to the punishment he was about to face for his sins. The voice had called out to Remus from behind them, meaning it’s owner could absolutely see them lurking behind the knights. 

This voice, of course, belonged to Professor Quill. 

Peter dared not look up, cringing and trying to curl up into a ball, by some childish instinct he found himself hoping that if he looked smaller, Quill would not notice him. But he could feel her eyes on him regardless. Could hear Remus’ own nervous reply. Before Quill cut him off. 

“Never mind that, actually. Everyone come out now, I think. Yes, all of you come out. All four of you.” There was only one thing worse than making Professor Quill angry. Peter would have taken a million detentions in a heartbeat if it meant that he didn’t have to be dragged out like a circus line and paraded in front of Remus...he didn’t want to be seen with these people, didn’t want Remus to think ill of him or get the wrong idea. But...was it the wrong idea?

Peter refused to look up as Mulciber grabbed him and yanked him along. Refused to see Remus’ expression. But he could hear the confusion in his friend’s voice. “What’s...what’s going on?” 

“I might ask the five of you the same thing. I should wonder why one of my most promising students is trying to break in to my classroom.” There was something about the way Quill talked. It was commanding, it dug into Peter’s soul. He knew he wasn’t the only one who feared her. 

  
“I...I didn’t mean to...the door was open, I was...Peter, what’s going on?” The question cut through Peter like a hot dagger. Put on the spot, he knew he would need to work fast to perform damage control. 

“I’m sorry, Remus! I tried to stop them, they...they wanted you to go into Quill’s classroom because there’s a monster in there! I’m not sure, I don’t know what it is exactly, but you can’t go inside! They’re trying to scare you, and...and…” Peter broke off as Quill gave him a piercing stare. 

“No one will be setting foot in my classroom, Mr. Pettigrew. Who told you that there were “monsters” in there?” 

The four Slytherin students all said nothing, and after waiting for a moment or two, Quill simply shrugged. “In the spirit of the holiday, I could overlook this and let you all go back to your dormitories. Or, I could start handing out detentions, if no one wants to cooperate?” 

Snape seemed to be having a battle with himself, before he finally spoke up. “It was Crowe! She found out that you’re using Boggarts for your lessons, and she wanted to trap Lupin in the room with one!” 

Soomin had gone very quiet after Quill arrived. Peter wasn’t surprised - even the boldest of Hogwarts’ students didn’t dare cross the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and even as Snape threw her under the Knight Bus and blamed it all on her, Soomin didn’t say a word in her own defense. 

Quill stared at Soomin, before glancing around at everyone else. “Mulciber, Travers, Snape, Pettigrew - I want you all to return to your dormitories. I will take things from here. Lupin, Crowe...you stay back.” 

The others wasted no time in taking off, but before Peter could even move, “Professor, wait- please.” 

He suddenly heard Remus’ voice, and it made his heart swell, though he didn’t have the nerve to look up even now. “Peter didn’t do anything, he...he’s my friend.” Remus approached him slowly and gripped his shoulder, giving Peter the nerve to finally look up and meet his eye. “So please don’t be angry with him.” 

Quill surveyed the three remaining students. Remus standing with Peter, and Soomin left by her lonesome. Peter forced himself to look up at Quill. She wasn’t a tall woman, and she wasn’t exactly an imposing presence. When he had sat down to his first Defense Against The Dark Arts lesson, he had almost thought she would be nice. She was certainly nice to Remus. But then she had given her first lecture, and her philosophy became clear. “Magic is a weapon, first and foremost.” She had said. “Others may argue that such priorities are wrong. That magic is a treasure, that dueling is secondary. They are free to cherish that opinion in a shallow grave. It doesn’t matter if you agree or not, magic is dangerous. To survive, you must learn to wield that danger, or there will be nothing left to treasure.” 

With tanned skin, dark hair in a constant ponytail, and a heart shaped face, she could almost be described as beautiful...whenever she wasn’t terrifying Peter with speeches like that one. It was like Quill had this unnerving ability to completely shut down any compassion when it came time to teach. But right now, she was not teaching. And she’d always seemed to have a soft spot for Remus. 

So when he pleaded with her, she seemed to relent. Nodding slightly, as though she wasn’t surprised to see Remus and Peter stand together. “Very well, then I’ll attend to you both in a minute. But first I need to deal with Miss Crowe-” She jerked her head toward Soomin, and suddenly all the warmth was gone, though her soft tone lingered. “I’ll give you one chance to tell me the truth. Did you unlock my classroom? Did you lure Mr. Lupin here?” 

Soomin stared back at Quill defiantly, still not speaking a word. Quill simply rested a hand on her hip and waited. Peter watched them closely, and in another moment Soomin seemed to realize it would be foolhardy to engage in a battle of wills with Professor Quill. “Nothing wrong with a little Halloween scare. Come on Professor, you know Gryffindors and Slytherins have this back-and-forth that we do.” 

“Amazing, so many words and not a single apology.” Quill chuckled, and Remus’ grip on Peter’s arm tightened. Whenever Quill laughed, it was normally a sign of danger. Laughing was what she did instead of yelling. But Soomin did not seem to be afraid. 

“It was just a Boggart, it wouldn’t have killed him-”

“No, it wouldn’t have “killed him.” No more than calling your classmate an offensive name would have “killed” her, but neither of those decisions are acceptable nonetheless.” Quill replied in a matter-of-fact tone, but everyone in the room was rattled. How could she know about that? Peter looked to Remus for help, but Remus just shrugged. 

Soomin stared daggers at Quill, and Peter found himself wondering if her pride was actually stronger than her fear. “Just punish me and get it over with.” 

“First, you will apologize to Mr. Lupin. Then you will find Miss Evans, and do likewise.” 

Peter could tell by the uncomfortable way Soomin’s expression, by the way she shifted her feet, that this was perhaps the worst punishment she could have been given. “Professor-”

“There’s no need to discuss it any further, Miss Crowe.” Quill’s voice was like the edge of a knife. “You needn’t trouble yourself deciding what you’re going to do - I’ve just told you what you’re doing. And further misbehavior will likewise result in appropriate consequences.” 

Soomin slowly turned in place and seemed to force herself to look up at Remus. There was another agonizing pause, but by this point everyone present knew that Quill would wait all night if that was what it took, and no one was leaving this corridor until the conversation was over. 

“...Sorry, Lupin.” 

“For?” came Quill’s voice. 

Soomin’s jaw tightened. “I’m sorry I tried to prank you with that Boggart.”

Remus bit his lip slightly. The apology, being forced, was not exactly genuine, and Peter could tell that wasn’t lost on him.What did one say to a forced apology? In the end, Remus seemed to settle on simply nodding. In another moment, Soomin glanced at Quill, who waved her hand. Soomin wasted no time in exiting the corridor, leaving Peter and Remus alone with Quill. 

“Sorry for all the trouble, Professor, we never meant to-”

“Relax. You have done nothing wrong, that I can assure you.” Quill took a step closer and, to Peter’s amazement, she lay a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “You...are a very fine young man, that much is clear. If Miss Crowe or her friends bother you again, don’t hesitate to let me know.” She met Remus' eye and then looked away, her brow furrowing before she turned back to face them again, now confronting Peter.

"Mr. Pettigrew, your intentions are still unclear to me. I can’t say that I’m very impressed, finding you in the company of such bullies tonight.” Oh Merlin. With just a few simple words, she had cut him down to the core. Peter felt as though she had cracked open his chest and exposed his heart to Remus. But he hadn’t meant for it to happen! Truly, he hadn’t. Was he as terrible a friend as Quill was suggesting? 

“Professor…” Remus bit his lip. “I’m sure it wasn’t like that. He was trying to stop them, right Peter?” Was Remus covering for him, or was it genuine faith in his loyalty? Either way, Peter didn’t care. All he could do was nod vigorously. 

Quill seemed unconvinced. “As you say.” She nodded to Remus. “In the future, unless a mysterious note is signed by a member of the staff, perhaps you ought not to follow it’s instructions so blindly.” Remus bowed his head at this and muttered a quiet agreement with her advice. Quill now rested both hands on her hips and for the briefest moment she almost looked like a mother chastising her sons. “Well boys, you had best return to your dormitories too. The feast will have ended by now.” 

Remus and Peter each gave another word of agreement before they stumbled out of the corridor and made their way back to Gryffindor Tower. 

“I swear,” Peter was quick to insist as they made the journey. “I swear, I never wanted to be there with them. I...I know how that looked, but I wasn’t...I didn’t…” He trailed off, as Remus looked at him with visible confusion. 

“I know that. Peter, it’s alright. I know you don’t get along with Snape and the others anymore than I do.” He stopped in place and gave Peter a hug. “I’m not blaming you, okay?” 

Peter found himself close to tears, and he was not sure why. “Thanks. And...and it will never happen again, I promise!” When Remus looked confused again, it occurred to Peter how much he was running his mouth. That he was only making himself look worse. “That is...nevermind. Do you suppose the others are back from detention?” 

Remus slowly started to smile. “Let’s go and find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, we've introduced all four Marauders. But there were six students referenced in the summary, were there not? Hmm...I wonder who we'll follow next? I mean, it's pretty obvious, but I like to keep the suspense! 
> 
> As of this chapter, I've officially introduced some original characters! The focus is still going to be on the Marauders, of course, and the other essential canon folks...but I promised to put my own spin on this as well. So don't be surprised if Quill or Soomin show up again.


	5. Letters to Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young witch, struggling to find her place between two worlds, attends a party and makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the Harry Potter drinking game! Take a drink every time Lily's eye color is mentioned! 
> 
> ...Just kidding, if we played that game with the books, we'd all go to the hospital. Nah, I'm gonna try and -not- overuse that descriptor, if I can avoid it. 
> 
> In any case, let's get started! There is a time-skip here, just like last time. We're at the midway point now, of the first year.

“ _ My dear Miss Evans, _

_ I’ve taken the liberty of gathering a select few of our most brilliant students for a gathering to...well, I’ll just come out and say it, have a smashing time! I overheard you talking to Mr. Snape during class, about your plans to remain here over the Christmas holiday. (You ought to have been working! Ah well, your Wiggenweld Potion was stellar regardless) As long as that’s true, we would love to have you along for the party! Everyone is meeting at six o’ clock this Friday night. I do hope you’ll join us. It could be a great opportunity to meet some new friends! Either way, either way, have a Happy Christmas!  _

_ Professor Slughorn _

Lily had set the roll of parchment down on her dresser beside her copy of the standard book of spells, and a wand made of willow. However, she’d barely glanced at the letter, compared to the other two notes that were now getting crinkled from how frequently she’d unfolded and refolded them. Lily glanced around the empty dormitory. As much as she missed the company of Mary and Marlene, she was somewhat grateful that they weren’t here, at least not tonight. Rubbing the bags under her eyes and flopping herself down onto the bed, Lily reached blindly for one of the two remaining notes. There was no reason in particular to hope that she had grabbed the one she wanted to see, no reason to believe that she was not about to cry again. But for reasons she could not explain, she left this up to chance. 

Then again, neither of the letters made her that happy to begin with. But at least she had grabbed the nicer one. 

“ _ Lily, I’m sorry.  _

_ I know you don’t want to talk to me. McKinnon made that very clear the last time I visited. And every time since, actually. You don’t have to talk to me before you’re ready, but I just want you to understand that what happened was wrong, and I know that it was. I want you to understand that not every Slytherin thinks that way - no matter what Potter tells you. What Crowe said to you was beyond out of line, and I told her as much after you left. But I should have focused less on that, and more on you. How you were feeling. I should have gone with you when you left, and that was my mistake. Now I just hope McKinnon does as she promised and actually delivers this to you. I hope we can catch up soon. I miss you.  _

- _ Severus _

Lily’s fingers shook slightly as she folded up the second letter once. Twice. Slowly sliding her way across the four-poster to her school trunk, to stow the letter away among a few others she had gotten from home. The nice ones. Someday, she wanted to create a scrapbook of all the nicest letters she’d received, with the loveliest memories attached to them. Well, this one was bittersweet...but it was with Severus. From Halloween weekend, when they hadn’t been speaking. It hadn’t lasted longer than that, because he was genuinely sorry and Lily had found herself almost miserable without his company. If only he hadn’t made Slytherin, then perhaps they wouldn’t have fought. Though on second thought, Severus wasn’t the only kind Slytherin. There was Professor Slughorn as well. 

With a thick mustache and a large belly, the jolly old man seemed to be like a cross between Father Christmas, and her uncle Alvin. Instead of giving out presents, he seemed to hoard them, but he and Professor McGonagall had been the first teachers to praise her. Sprout had been a more difficult nut to crack. McGonagall was a tough old nut herself, but she seemed to favor Gryffindor, even if she would swear day and night that she did not. Flitwick had the kindness of Slughorn, but he was much more impersonal. Much more formal. Then there was Quill, who lacked any sort of boundaries whatsoever. Invading her students’ personal space, and putting them on the spot, forcing them to duel without any warning...she certainly wasn’t formal. But she wasn’t kind either. Slughorn was perhaps Lily’s favorite Professor. Though he was Head of Slytherin, and it was clear as crystalized pineapple that he had absorbed that point of view...he never failed to be kind. 

As Lily stood up and gave herself a glance in the nearby mirror, her mind wandered to Potions class. All of the Slytherin students who had jeered when Slughorn had praised her cure for boils. Travers and Mulciber rolling their eyes, Soomin Crowe snorting...even Severus had almost looked jealous. But Slughorn had called them out at once, and doubled down on his praise of Lily’s potion making. Soomin, apparently unable to contain herself, had hurled back a protest about Lily being a muggle-born. To which Slughorn had not chastised her, the way Flitwick or McGonagall or Quill might have done. He had simply smiled, and replied, “All the more impressive then, isn’t it?” For a Gryffindor, for a...mudblood, Lily wouldn’t have expected the Head of Slytherin to like her. But he did. 

Which was why, against her better judgment, she had let Severus talk her into attending this stupid party. 

Lily smoothed out the dress robes that she had borrowed from Marlene, grateful at least that they fit. Marlene had tried and nearly succeeded to talk Lily out of going, but once she realized that Lily’s mind was made up, she had then changed gears and insisted upon loaning her proper attire. It was a tremendous help, especially if it stopped her from sticking out any more than she already would. Never mind that she hadn’t been to a real party in over two years...this was a magical party. Full of witches and wizards. Severus had even heard rumors that Slughorn had invited some of his old students, who had now become big-shots at the Ministry, and in Quidditch. Evidently, Quidditch was a thing outside of the walls of Hogwarts. When Severus had mentioned this, Lily had simply nodded like she’d already known that, before he caught her in the lie. 

Thankfully, she had been at Hogwarts for a while now. Though she was still only a simple first year, Lily had some idea of how things - the good and the bad - worked in this world. She now had some idea, inherently, that she was unwelcome in it. The magic in her blood did not seem to be enough to grant her full access. Soomin had made that abundantly clear, and as rotten as she was...it wasn’t like her opinion was an unpopular one. The magic Lily was born with was not good enough for her new home. She hadn’t grown up in this world, would it ever accept her? 

Not tonight. Not tonight. No matter what anyone would say, Slughorn would be there. Severus would be there. There was no chance that anyone could ruin tonight for her. With one final glance at the third letter, still beckoning to her as it rested on the pillow, Lily turned away and headed down the staircase to the Gryffindor Common Room. Nothing would disrupt her, nothing would distract her. She would meet Severus, he had agreed to wait with the Fat Lady. They would make their way down to the Dungeons, and nothing could spoil her resolve-

“Bloody hell James, I didn’t know you were  _ this _ blind-

“Sirius, give him his glasses back.” 

“Oh stuff it, you know I look better in them.” 

“Yeah, how does it feel to be as handsome as a Potter?” 

Oh. Oh great. Lily was already cringing. Because nothing could spoil this evening for her...except maybe for them. Those four idiots, who Severus had taken to calling the shabby one, the fat one, the traitor, and the arsehole. When Lily had asked why, he had muttered something about how it wasn’t worth it to learn all their names. But they shared a House with her, and regrettably, several classes. So she knew who they were. Sirius Black, the rebel from a Slytherin family, and the biggest drama queen she’d ever met. Peter Pettigrew, the quiet one, who she was pretty sure had been involved with all of that nonsense on Halloween, at least according to Severus. Remus Lupin - he was alright. He wasn’t as bad as the others. If only he didn’t hang out with them, Lily might have marginally enjoyed his company. But the worst, easily...was James Potter. Who was currently stumbling around blind, and laughing like it was the world’s funniest joke. James Potter, Sirius Black’s partner in crime. Only a few months into Term, they were already infamous for how many detentions they had earned. But in this moment, he was actually annoying Lily the least. Because he was the only one that wasn’t staring at her. 

“Can I help you? What, what do you want?” She snapped. It sounded a bit more rude than she’d intended, but she had never liked being the center of attention. Certainly not now, from a bunch of boys, when she was dressed up. Remus and Peter quickly glanced down, but Sirius raised his eyebrows, and removed the spectacles he was wearing to pass them back to their owner. 

“Was that Evans?” James called out cluelessly, having heard her voice, before he replaced his glasses over the bridge of his nose. All of a sudden, the other boys were no longer staring at her, but James Potter was, and Lily found herself wishing it was the other way round’ again. 

“Evans, wow. Who knew you cleaned so nice.” James gave a whistle, snickering. 

“Yes, I’d expect the concept of dressing nicely would be foreign to you.” Lily sneered back at him, causing the other three boys to give a rousing cry like they were the crowd at a Quidditch match. “Was that all? What are you looking at, huh? You gonna propose?” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Eyes front, I’m busy.” She glanced between the others. Peter was avoiding her eye, and Sirius was looking at James. For the briefest moment, she locked eyes with Remus, but then she heard Sirius speaking. 

“Y’know, if he did propose...and he took your name, then he would be James Evans!” 

James glanced back at his best mate, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah...and?” 

“So! You would be twice as plural as before!” 

“Oh, right!” Peter clapped his hands. “Because her name is “Evans” yeah? She’s plural too!” 

The way the boys were suddenly talking about this as though it was an important find...Lily’s face fell. She was surprised, and yet not. “Great, you’ve cracked the code. I’ll leave you to it, I have somewhere to be.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re still hanging out with that Snape bloke.” Sirius seemed to sigh in defeat and let himself collapse onto the couch, invoking cries of protest as he had in fact, landed on Remus and Peter. Remus’ face flushed and his glance in Lily’s direction seemed to be a silent plea for help. 

“If I tell you that I’m not, will you stop crushing your friends?” Lily folded her arms. 

James made a scoffing sound. “The only thing worse than a Slytherin is a proud one.” 

“Slughorn is a proud Slytherin, isn’t he? And Severus is brilliant. He’s smarter than the four of you put together, so if that’s all-” 

“Wait, Lily-” 

Lily stopped in place. She had been halfway across the room to the Portrait Hole, but the use of her first name gave her pause. Turning her head back just slightly, she let her eyes meet the gaze of James Potter, just for a moment, to see what he wanted. For his part, James seemed momentarily surprised that she had actually stopped. “Yes?” 

“The first night we arrived, we spoke on the boats. Then Sirius-” 

“Gave Severus a concussion? I remember it well.” She murmured through gritted teeth. 

“Easy mate.” Sirius muttered, lifting himself off the couch, and his very patient friends. “Look, all we were wondering is if either of you kept that locket. Come on, it’s been ages, you can’t still be mad about that night. If you’ve got it, can’t youplease just give it back?” 

“Thing is…” James was now clasping his hands together, glancing from side to side like a child caught reaching for the cookie jar. “That locket...didn’t actually belong to me. I sort of...found it, and er...was hoping to return it to whoever rightfully owns it.”

Lily stared at him. Found her arms folding again, almost absently. It was becoming a real habit for her. “Locket…? You mean that wasn’t a rock, it was...someone’s locket?” James’ face was falling, and Lily found herself feeling a kind of vindictive satisfaction. “Sev and I didn’t find anything, Potter. That locket is probably at the bottom of the lake. And if it really isn’t yours, then...nice going. You’ve ruined someone else’s day.” 

It was at this point that Peter chimed in at last. “U-unless Snape kept it!” He finally met Lily’s eyes. “I dunno, I think she’s telling the truth, but he might have lied. Just like he lied about me!” He added in an angry squeak. 

Remus glanced between Peter and Lily, who had been about to say a retort in Severus’ defense, when Remus cut in. “Never mind. If he did lie, she wouldn’t know. Should we stay focused on the plan, for now?” 

The plan? 

It was only then that Lily realized that the four boys were sitting around a table that was stacked with parchment. Several pieces that had been folded or crumpled lay on the floor, and the unrolled bits were covered with notes. Knowing the four of them, it wasn’t homework that they were doing. And whatever they were doing, Lily knew that she wanted no part of it. Without another word to them, she turned heel and exited the Common Room. 

She met up with Severus a few minutes later, and was once again given an unfortunate lesson about the realities of growing up a witch. Because Severus could not seem to stop staring at Lily in her dress robes, and she soon found that the only way to distract him was to bring up his rivals - James Potter and his gang. His eyes lost the glow of captivation and instead held the tinge of hatred. It wasn’t exactly better, but at least he wasn’t focused quite so much on her. 

“Can’t believe you have to live with those lunatics. Must be torture.” 

Lily laughed. “It’s like having brothers. As an only child, you wouldn’t understand. Having one sibling is hard enough, but now it’s like I have four. They’re always in the Common Room, working on this or that scheme, and I want to tell them off, but it’s not like I’m a Prefect, y’know?” 

Severus frowned. “Who is the Gryffindor Prefect anyway? What, does he just kick back during all this?” 

“I’ve seen him, I think his name is...oh god, it’s...something Shacklebolt. I reckon he finds them amusing, because he always gives a warning,but that’s all he ever does. Oh well, better than your Prefect.” 

“Who, Malfoy?” Severus’ brow furrowed. To her amazement, Lily realized a second later that he was offended. 

“The creep with the blonde hair who follows people around? Yeah, he’s called Malfoy, right?” 

Severus waved a hand. “Oh, you don’t see him in the Common Room. He’s really nice, at least when people are behaving. But any time Crowe or one of the others tries to start something, he shuts them down. He’s like Professor Quill that way.” 

Lily grimaced slightly. “Right, because that makes it so much better.” 

“You don’t like Quill?” 

Lily and Severus looked at each other, and Lily found herself raising an eyebrow. “Are you saying you do?” 

Severus gave a shrug. “Not particularly, I just kinda figured you would. She’s the one who made Crowe apologize to you, after all.” 

Lily waved a hand, like she was swatting aside an irksome fly. “Who cares? We both know Crowe didn’t mean it, so what does it matter?” Strictly speaking, it was generous to even call Soomin Crowe’s response an apology. She had cornered Lily after Potions one day and told her about what Quill had said. It was as though every word was carefully chosen to make the effort as false as possible. 

Severus was now glancing ahead, seeing clumps of students making their way into the dungeons. “No,” he replied in a distant, distracted tone. “But forget Crowe, at least Professor Quill had your back. That’s good, right?”

“Well, that’s new.” Came a third voice from behind them. Lily turned around to see two of her classmates approaching the party. A large, thick boy with sandy hair and protruding ears, was gently guiding a smaller girl with dark brown skin and thin black hair that was tied into a plait. Recognizing them from Charms, Lily did not know their names, but she’d have recognized the girl anywhere, by the glasses she wore. Tinted dark blue and almost resembling sunglasses, they were rimmed at the edge like wings, and though she did not know the full story - Lily knew that their purpose was not to help the girl see - for she could not. 

“What is?” Severus inquired, having turned around as well. 

The blond boy looked slightly awkward for a moment. “Thought I heard you mention Professor Quill and the word “good” in the same sentence. I suppose you must be one of her favorites?” 

“Quill doesn’t play favorites.” Lily frowned. “She terrorizes everyone.” 

“Don’t be so sure.” The girl spoke in a soft tone. “My Dad says that every teacher plays favorites. Most of them are just more subtle about it than Slughorn. He goes for old families, and the occasional underdog. McGonagall? She goes for the people who remind her of herself.” 

“And Quill?” Lily tilted her head, but the girl in the blue sunnies suddenly got very quiet. The large, blond boy gave her a sideline glance, before chiming in. 

“I can answer that. It’s the people she zeroes in on. If she leaves you alone, you probably mean nothing to her. But if she grills you, she’s trying to work some coal out of the diamond.” There was a very uncertain pause, as Lily and Severus exchanged a glance. 

“You mean...you mean that she’s trying to get a diamond out of coal?” 

The boy laughed. “Probably, is that how the saying goes? Sorry, I’m still learning muggle culture.” Lily stiffened slightly, before relaxing. The boy didn’t seem to mean any harm, and in another moment he furthered that instinct by offering a large hand to shake. “Frank, by the way. That is, that’s my name. Frank Longbottom. From Hufflepuff.” 

Lily and Severus both shook his hand, and to her dismay, Lily could see Severus was snickering. “I’m sorry, did you say Long...Bottom?” 

“Yeah yeah, get it all out.” Frank rolled his eyes, but a smile played at his lips. “I know, it’s a stupid sounding name. And yes, my family are “blood traitors” if you could call it that. But enough about me, have you met Lapis?” 

Lily turned her attention to the blind girl with the long, dark plait, who reached out her hand for Lily to take. She did, as the girl introduced herself. “Lapis Tilandr. Ravenclaw. I’m also from a “blood traitor” family, if it matters. But if it truly does matter to you, I’d ask that we leave that subject behind...tonight is supposed to be fun, right?” 

“What even is a “blood” traitor? Is that like a vampire thing?” Lily found herself giggling, glancing to Severus for help, grateful at least that he had not laughed at Lapis’ name like he had Frank’s. Her laughter soon died in her throat, however. Severus was not laughing either - he looked quite disconcerted, actually. For a moment, it seemed as though he was trying to find a way to answer Lily’s question, but Lapis got there first.

“Blood traitor is a rather crass term that the Pure-bloods use to describe a witch or wizard who, they feel, lacks proper pride in their heritage.” Lapis’ face tilted slightly, and Lily got the impression that she was rolling her eyes. Glancing between her and Severus, Lily could feel the gears shifting in her head. For whatever reason, she felt as though she did not mind the idea of Lapis and Frank being “blood traitors.” Not at all. But she was vaguely worried that Severus  _ did  _ mind it. 

“It’s all a load of hogwash.” Frank waved a hand, stepping closer to the clump and shooting Lily a smile. Something told her that this boy knew - or suspected - what she was thinking. “Some of them are just really up their own arses about their family trees. As if anyone’s is one hundred percent pure. They’ll lose their minds over people spending time together if they have one muggle relative - or even a squib. Like, what is anyone supposed to do about that?” 

Before Lily could ask what a Squib was, she was distracted by Lapis’ laughter. It was an oddly musical sound. “Oh trust me, it’s not just the purity crowd who do that. My family has been campaigning for muggle equality for years, but we still keep a family tree in the attic. I swear, my Dad goes over it at least once a month. You’d think he was worried it would change?” Frank now joined her in laughter. Lily did too, but without quite as much certainty. 

“As fun as all this is, maybe we should head inside now?” Severus growled in a quiet tone. “I don’t want to miss the party just because we got distracted.” 

Lily bit her lip, worried that his tone would come across as rude, but Lapis almost seemed to be relieved. “Good idea, this way folks. Frank, let’s just get this out of the way right now - no, I am not going to dance.” 

Jumping on the opportunity, Lily followed her up. “Yeah, me neither. Hate dancing. You two boys can enjoy that without us.” Though both Severus and Frank seemed disappointed, and Lily got the impression that he and Lapis had held this conversation before, neither of their companions made a fuss as they joined the party. Which, Lily was soon to find, wasn’t nearly as horrible as she had thought it would be. 

Professor Slughorn greeted her at once, and proceeded to drag her through a crowd to meet all sorts of people, most of whom she figured she would likely never speak to again. But least they were nice - especially that Quidditch player Gwynog, who ironically turned out to be the only person Lily had met thus-far in the Wizarding World to clue in on her lack of interest in the sport, and respond with a kind smile, “I get it, I’m boring the ‘ell out of you, right love? No trouble, go n’ mingle. I think your friends are waitin’ for you.” Lily had been encouraged multiple times to take down people’s contact information, but Gwynog was the first person for whom she actually took this advice. 

She then wandered around for a bit and nursed a bit of pumpkin juice, trying to stay close to Severus, Frank, and Lapis. Though everyone they had spoken to had been nice, Lily quickly realized that they were among the only first years present at the party. Almost everyone was at least in third year. What’s more, there were Prefects in attendance as well. No sign of Shacklebolt, but dread filled Lily’s stomach as she spied Lucius Malfoy talking to some girl in the corner, who bore an odd resemblance to Sirius Black. 

Lily glanced sideways at Severus, privately hoping that he wouldn’t notice Malfoy, but it was too late. He was starting toward his Prefect. In that moment, the Gryffindor in Lily seized control and she did something impulsive. “Oh, Lapis, I think someone is calling your name over there. This way!” She reached out to grab the girl, tugging her way. 

“Whoa, excuse me, what are you doing?” Lapis exclaimed, yet she did not seem angry and she hadn’t even raised her voice. 

“Sorry,” Lily hissed tersely. “But Sev was going to invite that Prefect Malfoy over, and I really don’t want to talk to him. Can we just sit for a bit? I think the dancing is starting soon anyway.” 

“Oh, well, alright…” Lapis calmed down and the tension in her arm faded. “But erm...who is Sev? Did I miss something?” 

Lily almost stopped in place as it occurred to her that her best mate had not introduced himself to their new friends at any point during the night. Nor had it occurred to her to do so in his stead. She felt guilt fluttering in her stomach - hadn’t Frank introduced Lapis like it was nothing? “Oh, um...he’s the boy that I arrived with. Not surprised you didn’t catch his name, he tends to be more quiet.” Well, at least that was true. Lily didn’t want to be dishonest with Lapis - she and Frank seemed so friendly.

Lapis nodded, making herself comfortable on one of the cushioned seats by the window. They were miles underground, but like the Great Hall, the windows at the party had been enchanted to cast the light of a sunset they could not otherwise see. “Right, I remember him. So he’s your date?” 

Lily felt her the skin on her neck prickle as such an idea was prompted. “No. No, of...of course not. He’s my best mate.” Oh god, Severus didn’t think he was her date, did he? That was a disaster that she didn’t even begin to know how she would deal with. “He knows this isn’t a date. That is...I hope he does…” Instinctively trying to keep the conversation going, Lily sat down beside Lapis. “And you? Is Frank, y’know, your date?” 

Lapis chuckled and ran her fingers through her plait, adjusting her spectacles. “Mmnn...sort of? We’re going to get married someday, but we’re just taking it slow for right now.”

Lily almost choked as she took a sip of her pumpkin juice. “Did you say  _ married? _ ” 

Lapis nodded calmly, turning her head in Lily’s direction. “We swore a vow under the cherry tree in his backyard. He’s going to marry me after we graduate, but that’s ages from now.” Lily said nothing, and though Lapis could not see her mouth hanging open, she evidently picked up on the Gryffindor girl’s surprise. “I’m going to ask you a personal question, and you needn’t answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but I want you to know that I won’t think any less of you, no matter what the answer-

“I’m from a muggle family.” Lily cut her off, glancing at the floor. She was quickly learning that among the denizens of Hogwarts, this was the only personal question that truly mattered. The only one that anyone would ask. But Lapis had said that she was a “blood traitor” so maybe, just...just maybe…

Lapis nodded slightly, and reached out to Lily. Feeling around for a moment before she found her shoulder, and giving it a squeeze. Lily glanced around, and located Severus, who was still talking to Malfoy and his cronies. Slowly lifting her own hand, she rested it on top of Lapis’. “How did you know? Is it the name Evans?” 

“No, I actually didn’t know that was your surname. But it’s lovely! No, I just realized you can’t have grown up in the wizarding world, or you wouldn’t have been surprised by what I told you. My gran says that muggles wait ages to tie the knot. And I respect that - even if I can’t say I understand it. Far as I’m concerned, if you know, then you know.” Lapis smiled a little. Lily glanced between her, and Frank, who was now talking to Professor Slughorn. 

There was a pause, before Lily took a deep breath. “Thanks Lapis. Tilandr is a pretty name too.” At this, Lapis gave a quiet laugh. 

“Well, least it’s all mine. That’s one plus side to being muggle-born, you get to be your own woman! I mean, my family’s pretty well known, but I’m an only child, and I tend to stand out in a crowd…” Saying this, Lapis removed her glasses. Her eyes were large and dark brown, but for the faintest moment Lily thought she saw another flicker of a different color flash over them. 

“I’m not an only child.” Lily murmured, after a pause. Her thoughts had turned back to her dormitory. To her four poster. To the pillows, and the letters that she had kept in her pillow case for the past several days. 

Lapis’ posture shifted slightly as she turned to Lily. Though she didn’t know how it was possible, Lily almost got the feeling that Lapis could sense more than she was letting on. “I’m so sorry...you must not see your siblings very often, then?”

Lily closed her eyes. She could still see the letters. All of them. The ones from her parents. The one from Slughorn. The one from Severus. And the letters from her sister. In her entire life, Lily had only ever known her sister to write two letters. One to the Hogwarts Headmaster, after Lily had been accepted into Hogwarts...and one after she had arrived. It was still sitting on her pillow. Lily had re-read it so many times now that she had it memorized, could picture it word for word in her mind. 

“I...may not see her ever again, actually. If she has her way.” A single tear slid down Lily’s cheek. She didn’t know how she felt about opening up to Lapis, but she was at least glad that the girl couldn’t see her crying. She was equally glad that Severus could not see it, because whenever she cried around him he would always try to hold her, and Lily didn’t like to be held. 

However, Lily had underestimated her new friend. “You’re upset. Oh no, oh Lily, I’m sorry…” In another moment, Lily realized, and could have kicked herself. Lapis could hear it in her voice, her voice was breaking. Lily took a deep and slightly rattled breath as Lapis squeezed her hand. “Forget I said anything, if you don’t want to talk about it. But if you do, I’m here to listen…” 

Lily hesitated. Shut her eyes. She could still picture Tuney’s venom…

“ _ Lily,  _

_ I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since you left us. Because I’ve realized, that’s exactly what you did. You went your own way. You did what you wanted, you chose that horrid boy over your own family. Mum and Dad might not show it, they might lie to you and act like they still love you, but you don’t see what it did to them, Lily. Because you’re not here. And it killed them, you know. That you turned your back on us, that you left us for some freak school where you’re doing god knows what. They’ll never admit this to you, so I have to say it, but Mum and Dad haven’t forgiven you for leaving. It’s probably best if you don’t come back. You’ve got your disgusting new friends after all, not like you need your family anymore. You should talk to that boy, you know, the one who tried to kill me with a branch? The one you followed, abandoning your own flesh and blood? I bet he’ll agree. Because this is who you are now. There’s no taking it back. So don’t try. Just stay at that school and leave us alone, okay? You’ve done enough damage already. Freak.  _

_ \- Petunia _

The letter had arrived a week ago and Lily had already broken down twice, when she opened it. Yet somehow, she still felt compelled to open the letter time after time. Perhaps she simply missed Tuney’s handwriting. Despite everything, despite how much they had fought this last summer, Lily had been looking forward to returning home and seeing her family...but now it seemed clear, clear as Slughorn’s crystalized pineapple, that she was no more welcome at home than she was at Hogwarts. What was it about her, what had she done wrong? As Lily opened her eyes, she felt no less like a fish out of water, and she knew this feeling would follow her wherever she went. 

“Thanks, Lapis, but I…” A thick feeling, like a toad, gathered in Lily’s throat. She wanted to terminate the conversation. To insist that nothing was wrong. But she found she could not do that. Severus already hated Tuney, and after Lily had described her to Mary and Marlene, they had taken to hating her as well. Trying to reassure Lily that she was better off...but it was precisely the wrong thing to say. Because Lily could still remember what it was like to be friends with Tuney. She wasn’t looking for advice on how to move on - because she wasn’t about to move on. That wasn’t the plan. Would Lapis understand? Glancing at the girl, Lily hesitated. 

“So...anyway, have you met Frank’s Prefect, Fletcher Sterling? Frank says he’s really nice-” 

“Yes.” 

“What?” Lapis blinked. 

“Yes I-I would. Like to talk about it.” Lily found herself wincing slightly. “If that’s alright.” She wasn’t sure what had tipped the scales, but something about Lapis’ attempt to transition the conversation, on top of everything else, led Lily to take the leap of faith. She just...she needed to talk to someone about this. Hopefully someone who would understand, even a little. 

Lapis nodded slowly. “Okay, what’s on your mind?” 

With a few simple words, the floodgate was open. Lily was venting, more than she had to anyone in weeks. Not simply about Petunia, but about Severus, his creepy friends, and Potter’s gang. About Soomin Crowe. How alone she felt. How little she felt that belonged. For her part, Lapis did not say much, but Lily never doubted that she was listening. 

“Well, she’s jealous, that much is obvious.” Lapis finally piped up when Lily had fallen silent. “Tuney wants to be a Witch. I suppose that’s natural.” 

Lily felt relief flood through her chest and stomach. Finally, someone who was not taking the opportunity to trash her sister. “That’s what I thought. I mean, I guess from the outside, being a Witch must seem so extraordinary. Having all these powers, going to a secret school…” 

“Maybe, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she misses you, more than anything.” Lapis sighed. 

Lily was thrown by this. “Misses me? I told you what she wrote to me, didn’t I? Tuney doesn’t want to see me at all.” 

“I think she does. She just won’t admit it. Or maybe she thinks that seeing you will hurt too much, maybe she wants to avoid that potential pain.” Lapis paused. “I don’t know, I’ve never met her...but she must have loved you at some point, right? Even if she hates you right now, that won’t last. She’ll come to her senses sooner or later. When that time comes though, I just hope she apologies.” 

Lily hesitated, but eventually decided it was safe to agree. “I hope so too. She really hurt me, you know? Even if she didn’t mean it. Nothing that Soomin or Malfoy or Quill could do will ever sting as much as those words have.” 

Lapis gave her hand another squeeze. However, her face had grown more lined. Her brow had furrowed. She was twirling her glasses in her hands now. Lily glanced toward the party. Severus was still talking to his Slytherin friends, and if Lapis was troubled by something, Lily wanted to help. 

“Something on your mind too, then?” 

Lapis leaned back against the wall. It was like she was focusing on some point of the ceiling, but Lily knew this wasn’t the case. Finally, she spoke. “I’ve told Frank about this, I just can’t afford to be frivolous with who I tell. Can you keep a secret? This is important.” 

Well, with a preface like that, how could Lily say no? Truly, she was uncertain of her secret keeping abilities, but it couldn’t be that difficult. It was as simple and sincere as making a promise, and that was something she could do in a heartbeat for her friend. “I can. Cross my heart and hope to die, you can depend on me. What is it?” 

Lapis scooted closer on the cushioned seat, and leaned her head in to whisper in Lily’s ear. “Hogwarts is hiding something. Well, someone. This school is harboring someone dangerous. I don’t know who it is, or why, but I know that this is true.”

Lily felt a chill go down her spine. She was still learning all the ins and outs of her school. It had taken at least a week for her to sleep at night knowing that there was a Forest filled with deadly and dangerous creatures just off the coast of Hogwarts’ grounds. She’d already had nightmares about the Slytherins dragging her off in the night and sacrificing her to the Centaurs that supposedly lived in the woodland. “Dangerous...how?” The way Lapis had said it, Lily could only assume that it was a danger that was not commonplace for wizardkind. 

“Not so loud! It’s just...one night, I took a wrong turn on my way back from the Library, and-”

“You read?” Lily interjected before she could stop herself. Seeing the look on Lapis’ face, she flushed and quickly muttered an apology, asking her to carry on. 

“I took a wrong turn, and I stumbled upon a conversation. I recognized the voices, it was Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore. I didn’t catch everything, but McGonagall seemed very worried about “Project Luna.” Whatever that is. Dumbledore kept reassuring her that everything was going according to plan, that “as long as we maintain all the precautions around him, nothing can go wrong. He won’t hurt a fly.” 

Lily remained silent for a moment. Whatever was going on, whatever Project Luna was...she couldn’t believe that McGonagall would be involved in something so shady. And Dumbledore? She folded her arms slowly. “Everyone says that Dumbledore is the cleverest wizard in the world. I’m...I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.” But even as she said it, Lily did not feel certain and she could hear it in her own voice that she was frightened. 

Lapis rubbed her hands together. “My parents told me all about him. He’s a good man, he’s kind...but that might be the problem. Whoever he’s hiding here is probably someone he thinks that he can protect. But what if he’s wrong?” She took a deep breath. “Frank and I have been trying to figure out who this is. Why he’s here. Just in case.” 

“You’re certain that Dumbledore said “he?” Lily muttered, thinking of Soomin. 

“Positive. There’s something else, too.” Lapis took a deep breath and seemed to shudder slightly. “McGonagall was very worried about Professor Quill.” 

“Quill? Wait, how do you mean?” 

“Professor Dumbledore did not seem very interested in the subject, but I don’t think McGonagall trusts Quill. Or, if nothing else, she doesn’t like her. Have you ever seen them share a conversation?” 

Lily hesitated. The more she thought about it, the more she was certain she had not. “So McGonagall suspects Quill? But she can’t be the dangerous figure, can she? Because you said, “he.” I’m telling you, if it’s a girl, my money is on Soomin Crowe.” 

Lapis’ jaw stiffened. “It’s not Soomin. Trust me. She...she’s too wild. A person like her could never be contained, not even by Albus Dumbledore. Whatever’s going on, I don’t believe that she’s involved.” 

There was a very long pause. Severus had parted ways with Malfoy, and he now appeared to be shooting meaningful looks at Lily, who prepared to stand up - feeling her legs almost numb. “What do you want me to do? I can tell Sev about this, right?” 

Lapis remained seated. Was it Lily’s imagination, or did she look perpetually concerned? “If you insist. So long as you’re sure you can trust him-” 

“I am.” Lily said at once. 

“Then get him involved if you can. We’ll crack this case wide open. For right now, I’d imagine Quill is our best lead. You know she never lets anyone into her classroom after hours? She’s very stingy about that...suppose there’s some kind of clue hidden there?” Lapis muttered vaguely, with the hint of a smile playing at her lips. 

Lily nodded slowly. Suddenly, she found she was grinning as well. It was like the Gryffindor in her was surfacing again. “Consider it done.” 

With that, they parted ways. Lily did not expect to hear from Lapis Tilandr again for several days, perhaps even weeks, assuming the girl was headed home for the winter holiday. But their next encounter occurred the following morning. As Lily was climbing out of bed, Mary tossed a roll of parchment in her direction. The aim had been for Lily to catch it, but the young Gryffindor girl was not very blessed in terms of hand-eye coordination. As it turned out, the letter had been delivered by Frank Longbottom in the early hours of the morning, while Lily had slept. 

“ _ Dear Lily, _

_ I just wanted to thank you for spending time with me last night. Large social gatherings tend to give me anxiety, and normally Frank has to spend every moment holding my hand. Thanks to you, we both got to meet new friends, and I’d have to say that my new friend is wonderful. I hope to see more of you after the holiday, and not simply to touch base on what we discussed near the end. Let me now wish you a wonderful rest of the year! On a side note, as I was returning to Ravenclaw Tower, I came across Thalia Travers, sobbing with fear. Apparently the Slytherin Dungeons were being haunted by particularly angry spirits...I do hope Severus made it back alright?  _

_ Sincerely, Lapis” _

Lily, despite herself, was smiling. She would need to check in with Severus to be sure, but she had a sudden suspicion that whatever had spooked the Slytherins had something to do with the “plan” Potter’s gang had been coming up with when she’d left Gryffindor Tower. James Potter...he was all kinds of trouble, given human form. “Are we quite sure he isn’t the dangerous figure?” She thought, chuckling to herself as she folded up Lapis’ letter - stowing it in her pillowcase. This was one that she was intending to keep for a while. Quite a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there you are then! Five of the six have been introduced, so I'll give you one guess as to who the next chapter is following, heheh. 
> 
> I tried to keep it as balanced as I could - one canon character, and one original character, both make their debut. I hope Lapis made a good first impression! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	6. Take Care of Your Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Half-Blood Wizard must figure out where he stands, and who is deserving of his loyalty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this ended up coming out a lot later than I planned for it to. I'm very sorry! Had technical difficulties, and then I hit a wall when I realized that my plan conflicted with a particular event from canon...been working through that. But the next chapter is here, so that's enough out of me!

The sky was gray, with the sunlight muffled by thick sheets of fog. The ground was gray as well, the winter snow having half-melted into a disgusting slush, before it solidified again. Grass, killed in the cradle, stuck out like spikes in the Hogwarts grounds, attempting to grow yet long since caught. The castle was also gray, though perhaps it had always been. Perhaps it was age, perhaps it was the weather or a trick of the light. But the way it loomed over everyone, casting a massive shadow upon the students of Hogwarts as they traversed the grounds, reminded Severus of the looming towers of the factory his father worked at. Well, used to work at. As he glanced around, watching students traverse the school grounds, making their way to the Greenhouses, to the Quidditch practice, or Care of Magical Creatures, Severus felt as though his heart was turning gray as well. 

There were so many people, to each group. Always at least four. Sometimes five or six. How was it so easy for them? Why did they get to mingle, and he didn’t? Why was it that he could never make anyone happy? Even Lily….

Severus closed his eyes, and moved closer to the nearest tree, a young willow, to lean up against its trunk. He didn’t want to see them. Didn’t want to know them, or perceive them in any way. It would only hurt more. 

To this day, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do, or what he was doing wrong. He couldn’t grow too close to his house-mates, not with the way they spoke about Lily. Nor could he seem to get things right with Lily, either. What was he not understanding? What had he missed? 

It was the sorting. Everything had all gone wrong the night of the Sorting. It wasn’t simply that they’d been placed in separate Houses. No, that would have been punishment enough. The Sorting Hat had declared Lily a Gryffindor. That was when it had all fallen apart. The worst of the Houses, by far. Packed with self-righteous morons who thought they would win arguments by yelling louder than you -  _ Soomin might have made a decent Gryffindor, he thought to himself  _ \- but in reality, they had the brains of a half-dead puffskein. Not only that, but they dedicated their time at Hogwarts to causing all kinds of trouble, and trying in vain to prove that Slytherin was not their superior. And the Hat had thought Lily belonged there? It was a disaster, a travesty...Severus couldn’t help but wonder if it was still functional, or if someone ought to examine it and make sure it wasn’t just spouting nonsense. 

Because Lily making Gryffindor had put distance between them. Every night in the Common Room, the fact that Lily was not there made him physically ache. It was wrong, everything about it was wrong. She was supposed to be there, in the Slytherin Common Room, with him. Not over with the lions, not with James bloody Potter and his delinquent gang. He couldn’t even see her after everyone left the dinner table each night - no one was allowed to visit the other House common rooms, and Severus wasn’t about to set foot in Gryffindor Tower of all places. Well, not unless there was a chance he could see Lily...but Marlene McKinnon had already turned him away. Several times. 

Stupid Gryffindors. Always suffering foolish hang-ups about things that didn’t matter. Spitting on tradition and ignoring opportunities because they were “dishonorable.” But what was honor? One person’s idea of right and wrong? What made The Gryffindors’ word law? So full of themselves, so arrogant, so-

“James, that tree!” 

“Oi, look out!” 

  
Severus opened his eyes, just in time to see his least favorite person in the entire school charging at him. Instinctively, he drew an ebony wand, hastily pointing it in Potter’s face, but Potter ignored this. Severus began to panic, backing up, but it was too late. The impact sent him crashing to the floor, the wind knocked from his lungs. He gasped and spit as Potter landed beside him, and a loud “thud” reverberated the ground behind them both. 

“Quick, move!” Potter gestured, grabbing Severus’ arm. The act was repulsive but Severus was still recovering from Potter’s initial attack, and did not have the strength to defend himself. 

“No-no…” He tried to speak, managing only an all-too-pathetic wheeze. Potter was yanking him along in the direction toward the castle, away from the willow tree, which seemed to be...following them. 

What. 

No, that was incorrect. It wasn’t following them. The tree remained rooted to the spot, but the branches were another story. They were swaying and writhing and seemed to reach for the spot that the boys had just abandoned. Mercifully, they now seemed to be out of it’s range, but not for lack of trying - the branches continued to twist and move like a set of unruly tentacles. Severus had a sudden vision of the monster he had glimpsed within the Black Lake. Struggling to breath, he rolled away from Potter, who was soon to be surrounded by his gang. The boy who betrayed his friends, during the fiasco on Halloween. The boy who betrayed his own family, the night of the Sorting. And the boy who betrayed himself - Remus Lupin was the only one not looking at James, but rather, he looked on with apprehension at the small but ferocious willow tree they had all narrowly avoided. 

No one spoke for a while. Finally, Black did. “What on earth are you playing at?” He looked over at Severus. “Just standing there like a moron. James could have died.” Black seemed to a sudden realization, and rounded angrily upon his best mate. “You could have died! Why did you do it?” 

No. There was simply no chance. The last thing Severus could ever be was indebted to James Potter. The insufferable brat that had everything just handed to him, and still had the nerve to act like he was better than Severus, or anyone else. It was ridiculous, and he was not shy about saying so. “What Potter gets up to isn’t my fault. I didn’t ask him to shove me.” 

“He saved you!” Pettigrew squeaked reproachfully. “You would have been tree-food if not for him.” Now Pettigrew gave a nervous, twitchy glance back at the Willow Tree, and added as more of an underscore, “That thing can’t chase us, right…?” Lupin placed a hand on his shoulder, and glanced down at Potter. Together, Lupin and Black helped Potter back to his feet, and Potter stared daggers at Severus, who returned the favor in kind. 

“Look, you may have thought you could play the hero by tackling me, but I’ve got news for you - I never asked for your help.” 

“Yeah? Maybe I should have just let the Willow whomp you then.” Potter shot back. “Sorry mates, I’ve made a mistake. That tree nearly did us a real favor. Merlin knows the school would be better off with one less hateful Slytherin. Evans would sure be better off.” Potter scoffed. That, to put it lightly, touched a nerve. 

Severus went for his wand, and the four other boys moved at the same time. Unfortunately for him, he had neglected to pick up his wand in the previous skirmish, and as it transpired, it was still laying beside the now docile willow tree. Thankfully, the tree was paying his wand no mind. But it was still out of reach and no help to it’s master, who was defenseless against the outcry of “Flipendo!” which knocked him back at least ten feet. 

Severus hit the ground and did not move. He did not immediately fall unconscious, but rather found himself with no strength to stand. Was he injured? Difficult to tell. All he could do was stew in his own pain, humiliation, and anger. Potter had actually dared to use Lily against him. The four brutes had ganged up on him, while he was without a wand, no less! As his vision darkened, Severus could feel burning hot tears threatening to break through his face, but he mustn't allow them to…

The dream was a brief one, but a pleasant one. Severus found himself back at Spinner’s End, where he and Lily had grown up. Of course, that place was never pleasant, save for one redeeming quality. And she was sitting right next to him on the sofa. Smiling. Laughing. One can not normally spot a dream while they’re having it, but Severus would have closed his eyes to the truth anyway. It was simple, but it was nice. It was all he could have wanted. 

The dream transitioned. The journey outside into the wilderness was one that he could not recall, but in another moment he and Lily were standing by the side of a pond. Severus had an epiphany that seemed to deliver itself at the same time as the dream’s new vision. There was no moment of understanding, it was just something he instinctively knew. He knew that today was Valentine’s Day. And he knew what he wanted to do. So he did. 

Kneeling down by the side of the pond, Severus reached out his hand until the drifting lily-flower came to him, almost like it was preordained. With the utmost care, he scooped it up and into his hand, but as he stood back up, catastrophe struck. The flower slipped out of his hand, and fell to the grass below - seeming to disappear along the way. For an instant, all was despair, and Severus dared not look Lily in the face...but then the flower returned. Though he had dropped it, the lily now seemed to once again sit in his palm. With bated breath, Severus wasted no time. He offered it to her. To the only person who mattered. 

Lily’s smile was like the morning sun, and it made Severus forget all of the pain and uncertainty in his life. There was nothing in the world that he was quite so sure of as her. He wanted to be worthy of her, and when she gave him that smile, he knew that he was. She took the flower and tucked it into her hair, before looking back at Severus with those incredible eyes. She was moving in closer. Quite a bit closer. Was...was she going to-?

The dream ended, because of course it did. Severus lurched in place, feeling discomfort and disappointment for a multitude of reasons. The journey from sleeping to waking was often romanticised, but Severus had never enjoyed it. One was jerked between two differing realities, and if using a Portkey had taught him anything, it was that such types of travel were not enjoyable. But it wasn’t just that. Nor was it the untimely end to his dream. It wasn’t even the soreness of his injuries. It was where he had awoken. 

He was in Professor Quill’s office. 

Severus had never even set foot in Quill’s classroom outside of class hours. She did not allow it. Her office was not a tremendous secret, as students had been in there and lived to tell the tale, but there were whispers and rumors about the place being cursed. No one had ever gone in without Quill’s expressed permission and supervision. No one had ever set foot in Quill’s office while she herself was not present. And...she was not present. 

Despite not knowing the time, Severus felt as though it must be very late now. Or perhaps there were other reasons that he began to feel so cold. Fear was a powerful potion, it could do all sorts of things to one’s body and mind. He had no idea how he had gotten in here, the last thing he could remember was being outside on the grounds, with...yes...with Potter and his gang. The anger briefly diluted the anxiety that was plaguing his heart, but Severus now had even more reason to fear Quill than the average student. So why was he here? And where was she? 

Sitting up, he glanced around the office. It was just as simplistic as Thalia and Soomin had claimed it to be. He was currently sitting in a tattered armchair, with a rug in the center of the room. There was a bookcase off to one side holding books that looked so worn they might have been older than Professor Dumbledore, and on the other side there was a desk overrun, presumably with whatever Quill was teaching about at the time. There was a stack of essays, a quill and inkpot, and a strange glass object resembling a dreidel. 

Severus glanced around, wondering if this would be an opportune moment to investigate. That was what Lily had asked him to do, after all. When they’d finally shaken off Longbottom and Tilandr, she had pulled him aside to tell him a secret, one she seemed to consider precious. The Tilandr girl suspected that Hogwarts was keeping and guarding someone dangerous. Though Severus’ mind had immediately gone to Potter, both Lily and her new friend seemed to believe that it was Professor Quill. 

To this, Severus had said nothing. He had simply given his word that he would aid Lily’s investigation. He had chosen not to speak his mind about this, and he wasn’t sure if he had made the right call. At the end of the day, Lily was his top priority. So he wanted to back her. But he still did not understand why she, of all people, would suspect Quill. The teacher who shut down any discussion of wizarding pride in her classroom and once made Robin Avery have a duel with that Proudfoot kid to “prove” she was better than a muggleborn. The one who had spared no mercy for Soomin after what she had said on Halloween. If anything, Severus found himself in tentative admiration of Quill’s apathy toward making herself popular. Not that he could ever voice that to her, or anyone. 

So it was with heavy consternation that he lifted himself up from the armchair and made his way across the office room. Squinting slightly, Severus looked around. He would need to make his getaway sooner, rather than later. He could save asking questions for later. But a chance like this didn’t come along every day, and he knew he’d be a fool not to take advantage of it. Glancing toward the desk, Severus quietly moved around to the other side. Attempted to open the drawer in front of Quill’s chair. It was locked. Reaching instinctively for his wand, Severus felt a jolt of panic as he found that it was not in his robes. That was when he remembered - he had left it outside on the grounds, by that murderous tree. 

Never mind. The investigation would have to wait. He needed his wand, and for all he knew it was already after curfew. For all he knew, Potter’s gang had stolen it after they had knocked him out. Severus was about to make a break for it when something caught his eye. Something valuable...it was an unrolled piece of parchment, seeming to be formatted like an unfinished letter. Severus found his eyes glued to it’s contents, and the more he read, the less he understood.

_ “Viola,”  _

_ “Out of respect for our past, and the closeness that was once shared between us, I have decided to contact you before I take action. But I must stress that if your answer is not to my liking, then I may still be required to take action. This can be avoided. Consider this a warning, for both our sakes. I will only allot you one warning, that is as far as my mercy can extend, considering the circumstances. Let me be frank - I know your business is not innocent. I have yet to determine what it is that you are after, but I know you, and I was not born yesterday. You would not have gone to all of this trouble if you did not have something you wanted. But let me be clear, if you step out of line, if you bring harm to the children at this school, I will not hesitate-” _

There was not much more to the letter, and Severus did not make it any further regardless. For at that moment, the glass dreidel sitting to his right, which had previously been an innocuous ornament, suddenly came alive. Severus screamed, far too loudly, as the dreidel spun in place, flashing bright colors and whistling like the Hogwarts express. Just like that, the office door began to open. No. Oh Merlin no, this was the worst possible situation. Severus made a dive, grabbing the letter and ducking under the desk. Frantically stuffing the letter into his robes, he rolled over on the floor, trying to hide himself further. But it was no use. 

Quill lifted her wand, and with a wordless flick, she silenced the glass ornament that had given Severus away. Though he did not believe he was in her sightline, she once again proved to be almost clairvoyant, pocketing her wand and proceeding immediately to the other side of her desk to look him right in the eye. Severus knew he was doomed - and worse, it was Quill. With McGonagall or Sprout, he might have just been expelled. But in this case...what was she going to do with him? Turn him into a bat and keep him as a pet? There were all kinds of rumors about the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. 

Instead, she ended up offering Severus her hand. Well, that was a surprise if he had ever seen one. As Quill helped him to his feet, she shook her head slightly. “I think we’ll skip over the part where you try to cover your bases. Come and sit down, and consider your answer carefully - why were you snooping around my desk?” 

Severus now found himself sitting across from Quill, as though he was here to discuss a grade on an essay about counter-jinxes. As though it was any normal school day, despite being anything but. Quill stared at him, and as his mouth opened and closed, finding no words...she impatiently tapped the glass ornament. “Today, Mr. Snape. Anything you want to say to combat my Sneakoscope’s testimony?” 

That was the thing about Quill. She usually went a lot easier on students if they didn’t try to lie to her. And by now, almost everyone in Severus’ year knew better than to try. She was simply too good at reading people. “I was confused.” He finally managed to say. Because he was burning with questions of his own. Surely it was only fair that he should get them too? “I woke up in your office, Professor. I’ve...I’ve never been in here before, and...I just didn’t know what happened. How did I get here?” Severus bit his lip, though he felt somewhat satisfied with his answer. He was essentially challenging her, however mildly...but he had the ammo to do so. 

Quill raised an eyebrow. “I found you passed out on the grounds, that’s how. Brought you up here so you weren’t sleeping in the snow. How interesting that this is how you’ve chosen to repay me.” Her voice carried no trace of anger or even discipline. Despite her words, she was not acting as though she was insulted. But that didn’t mean Severus was safe, and he knew it. 

“I didn’t know, I...thank you. Listen, I don’t want any trouble, Professor. I really don’t. It was James Potter!” Remembering his earlier fury, Severus seized upon the opportunity to tell a teacher. “He and his lowlife friends, they’ve got it in for me, and they never leave me alone. First, Potter tackles me. He says he was saving me, but I reckon he just wanted something to hold over me. Then all of them jinxed me, that’s why I was knocked out. And...and...during the winter Holiday, they pulled some kind of trick and made themselves invisible, they scared Thalia witless!  _ And  _ Black nearly killed me on the first night of term!” He had never brought this up to a teacher before, not wanting to give Black the satisfaction...but Quill was a special case.

She listened to the barrage of accusations with no change in her face. When Severus had finished speaking, she still said nothing for a moment. Finally, she tilted her head. “You’ve forgotten one other incident: Halloween, and Mr. Pettigrew.” Severus began to splutter his agreement, but Quill was not finished speaking. “After all, he was solely to blame for that night, wasn’t he? Well, at least until one remembers that Miss Crowe was present. And Mr. Mulciber. And Miss Travers. And...oh yes, that’s right.” She snapped her fingers. “You as well, Mr. Snape.”

Severus said nothing. He felt as though it would be playing with fire to speak right now, and he didn’t know what he would say in any case. Quill continued, “You needn’t answer the question, you need only think back to past incidents. If you’re truly honest with yourself, I think you’ll find that James Potter and his friends are not the sole instigators of this rivalry. Gryffindor and Slytherin have always clashed, and there’s blame to share. I’ve seen what you and Mr. Potter are like together...you deem every conversation a war, that you try to win at all costs.” 

Severus said nothing. He didn’t know what to make of Quill’s words. What was he supposed to believe? That he was at fault? It sounded like the mature way of thinking, but...he hadn’t started this. Potter and Black had started this. They were his enemies, he knew that much. Over in Gryffindor, with-

“I’m sure Miss Evans would appreciate an effort to end the fighting. From her House-mates of course, but you cannot control them. You can control yourself, and I think it’s you that she’s waiting on.” Severus’ already pale knuckles whitened as he clutched the chair, his heart pounding. Was it a coincidence? How could she know what he was thinking? True, he was close with Lily; that was not a secret. He was somewhat notorious for it, but...was it just coincidence? 

“What am I supposed to do?” He finally exhaled. This was the first time he’d actually been confronted by anyone about Lily - that is, someone who wasn’t directly involved. Mulciber, Travers...they were with the Slytherins. Potter and his gang were with the Gryffindors. This was a war, and he’d never had a chance to take advice from someone impartial. “She’s with them. The Sorting Hat put her with them, while I’m stuck in Slytherin alone!” 

“Is that what you think?” Quill shifted her head slightly. “That you’re all alone?” When Severus did not reply, she set her hands down on the desk. Her expression was almost stony. “You don’t know the first thing about being alone, Mr. Snape. You are young, surrounded by a House of people who will watch over you. What’s more, you have friends in other Houses. Not everyone can say that. If I’ve read your file correctly, both of your parents are in your life. In what way are you alone?” 

She didn’t understand. She could never understand. Solitude was not truly about how many people you were surrounded by, not if none of them would stand with you. Not if they didn’t know the real you. Severus gritted his teeth slightly. “Most people are popular among their own Houses, but I’m not, Professor. The other Slytherins hate that I hang out with Lily. They think of it as a betrayal. And my parents...well. My mum is okay. Sometimes. My Dad, though...he doesn’t exactly like magic, if you know what I mean.” 

Quill was now studying Severus as though he was some sort of fascinating magical creature, her dark eyes narrowing slightly. “You don’t seem to understand where you are. Slytherin is not like other Houses. The sting of your founder’s betrayal is something that the school has never recovered from. It has created a legacy that you inherit, whether or not you like it.” 

“But that’s stupid!” Severus could not stop himself from interjecting. “The muggles were hunting us down! Of course Slytherin didn’t want to let their spawn into the school-”

“That is also not the point, Snape.” Quill cut him off fiercely, and he recoiled. She had seemed to grow particularly agitated at his use of the word “spawn.” and Severus suddenly found himself regretting it. That was the kind of thing Soomin would say. But Quill wasn’t finished. “You may inherit the legacy of betrayal, but it does not doom you. Slytherins have one gift above all other Houses, that their isolation has brought about. The comradery.” 

“Slytherins have each other to look after. A Gryffindor would die for his companion, but only because he believes his companion to be true and loyal to the same ideals. If said companion strays, that loyalty may be withdrawn. Slytherins don’t play by those rules, and the sooner you learn this, the better. It doesn’t matter how many Gryffindors you dally with. At the end of the day, you are still a Serpent, and that means you are part of the family. No one chooses their family. And Slytherins take care of their own.” 

Severus listened, then hesitated. So Soomin, Thalia, Robin, Esteban...all of his House-mates were supposed to watch out for him? Well, he thought bitterly, Quill ought to tell them that, and not him. On the other hand...he hadn’t been especially nice to them either. He had tried to appease them whenever he could, but...they were not close. “So as long as I watch out for my House-mates...they’ll watch out for me.” He thought aloud. “Even if they can’t stand my spending time with Lily?” 

Quill smirked slowly. “My brother was the single greatest waste of space I had ever known...until I met his children. Do not get me started on my father. But that simply doesn’t matter when the chips are down. Family is family, and you watch out for them no matter the cost.” Severus sat up slightly. So Quill didn’t get on well with her father either? So she was a human being after all. More and more, he was wondering why Lily and Lapis were so suspicious of this woman - especially when Potter’s gang was right there. 

“And Slytherin...is my family.” Severus finished Quill’s thought, and she nodded. The two of them fell silent for a while, as Quill leaned back in her chair to gaze upon him with a kind of curious regard. Finally, Severus took a chance. Asking the question that was burning in his mind - it was a natural thing to wonder, after all. “Professor, were...were you a Slytherin, then?” 

There was a deafening pause. A question that should have been so simple and easy to answer, and for once Quill seemed to have nothing to say. She simply reached over to one side and tucked a violet colored quill behind her ear. Severus had seen her wear it before. After much too long, she spoke. “I am a teacher, Mr. Snape. Understanding the minds of my students is part of this job, and I’m afraid that each and every one if you is being shaped in part by the House system. But you can make do. Take care of your own, Mr. Snape. That is all that matters. Whether it is your fellow Slytherins, or Miss Evans.” 

Severus gulped. He still could get a handle on what she was trying to tell him, not entirely. He was becoming keenly aware that he had been in Quill’s office for far too long. Keenly aware that the stolen letter she had been writing was still tucked away and crumpled in his robes. If she noticed it was gone, if she so much as glanced down-

“I don’t think Lily considers me to be...well, one of her own.” Severus finally admitted his greatest fear. “I don’t know. The Sorting Hat put her in the wrong House, and now-”

“Of course, the Sorting Hat is famous for making mistakes, and a first year wizard really is the best person to correct them.” Quill wasted no time in shutting him down. She was very good at shutting students down. “If the Hat placed her in Gryffindor, that is where she belongs. Your mistake is in assuming that this changes anything. Didn’t you know Miss Evans before Hogwarts?”    
  


Where was she getting her information? How could she know? Severus found himself blushing. “Yes, we um...we knew each other for about a year before we came to school.” He took a deep breath. “And I just...I just don’t want us to drift apart. She’s everything to me, and I-” He broke off. Realizing with a start that he had most certainly said too much. He glanced down, avoiding Quill’s eye. 

“Oh, I know.” 

Severus looked up again, to see that Quill was smiling. She got to her feet, drawing her wand with a flourish and holding out her other hand. “You talk in your sleep, Mr. Snape. As I was bringing you here, it so happens that her name was said quite a lot. I’m not exactly certain what you were dreaming, nor do I have any wish to know. But I caught enough…” Quill waved her wand, and in midair, she conjured a lily flower, which blossomed into shape before Severus’ very eyes, and proceeded to float down to his side of the desk. 

Severus was dumbstruck. “Is...is there anything you don’t know?” Was all he could manage. 

Quill’s lips tightened for a moment. “Yes.” She replied shortly. “There are things I don’t know. But I find out the truth...sooner or later.” Despite her boast, she did not seem remotely happy. However, in another moment, her face brightened just slightly. “Valentine's Day is approaching, Mr. Snape. If Miss Evans truly means this much to you, then you should work to make your dreams come true. For a start, I’d advise you to make amends with her House-mates. Gryffindor may be Slytherin’s rival, but they’re also Lily Evan’s family now. Just as Slytherin is yours. Keep that in mind.” 

Severus very carefully picked up the lily, not having the words, nor the nerve, to thank Professor Quill for her counsel. Whatever she may be, whoever she was...could she really know something about this dangerous figure that Hogwarts was harboring? Lapis Tilandr seemed to think it was a boy, in any case...no, Lily might be disappointed, but Severus trusted Quill. He would need to look elsewhere to help her. And, if he could work up the nerve...he could give her the flower, on Valentines Day. Maybe. 

“I should...I should probably go back to the Dungeons.” Severus mumbled shyly, staring at the floor. Quill gave no counterargument or affirmation, so he figured he was probably safe to leave. However, when he tried the door, it was bolted shut. Turning back around to glance at Quill for help, she continued to offer nothing. So Severus reached into his pocket with his free hand - and that’s when he remembered. 

“My wand! Oh, oh no...Professor? When you found me outside, you didn’t happen to see a wand nearby, did you? I dropped mine when Potter and his friends attacked me, and I never recovered it, I just-” Severus broke off as Quill wordlessly withdrew a familiar black wand from her robes and held it up. She still wasn’t even looking at him. 

“Oh, thank you, I’m so glad I-” Severus broke off. He had started forward, to reach out and accept it, but Quill had swiftly moved her hand away. 

“Not for free, Mr. Snape. I’ll make you a trade.” Quill held out her other hand, finally turning in place to look at him properly. Severus hesitated. For the briefest moment he was bewildered. Then as understanding clicked into place, fear flooded his mind and body. She knew. She knew what he had done. She knew what he carried. The letter. The letter of warning that she had been writing to someone. Severus gulped. All was quiet for a moment or two.

Then, slowly, Severus withdrew the letter from his robes, and placed it on the desk. Not having the audacity to try and steal a final glance at it. He still knew it from memory rather well. Quill looked at the letter, raised Severus’ own wand, and whispered, “Deletrius…” causing the contents to disappear and leave the piece of parchment blank. Turning back to Severus, she spoke more calmly. “A rather useful spell for hiding written words from prying eyes that have no business reading them. Seems I was in a hurry last time and did not finish the spell...” Quill passed Severus his wand, and he knew he ought to make his getaway now. He knew he would be pushing his look to try and ask her about the letter. 

But he still had so many questions. 

“Professor, out on the grounds, there’s...there a tree out there. A willow tree, and it’s alive. All trees are alive, of course, but this one...it’s hostile!” 

“Hagrid did mention something about planting more trees at the beginning of the year.” Quill murmured in response, seemingly more to herself than to Severus. “Knowing him, it wouldn’t surprise me if the seedlings were cursed.” 

The color drained from Severus’ face. He had been hoping that Quill could explain more about the tree, but she seemed to be as clueless as he was. But she also seemed to find the subject far more interesting than he did, no matter what she was letting on. 

Severus had one more question, however. “Professor...how do you do it? How do you always know what people are thinking? Please, tell me your secret.” After all, you already know all of mine, Severus thought somewhat bitterly. 

Quill simply chuckled, and shook her head. “I’m a fully trained witch, Mr. Snape. I know advanced magic, the kind you aren’t anywhere close to being ready for. Make it past O.W.L.s in my class, and then we’ll see about teaching you my finest tricks. But in the meantime…” She flicked her wand, and the door to her office unbolted. 

Severus understood himself to be dismissed. He knew it was time to go, and he did. Making his way back to the Slytherin Common room, his mind whirling with everything Quill had said, and all he had learned. Someone was threatening the school, someone that she knew well. Quill had been giving someone a warning, but who, and why? Did this have something to do with the mysterious Project Luna? 

Severus was not expecting anyone to be awake when he returned to the Slytherin Common Room, but he was mistaken. Soomin Crowe sat in front of the dying fire, almost systematically crumpling up scraps of parchment and tossing them into the embers, as if to keep them alive for a moment longer. Though Soomin did not look up, Severus felt his heart give a small lurch.

_ “At the end of the day, you are still a Serpent, and that means you are part of the family.” _

He loathed Soomin. Everyone did. But she was in Slytherin, just like him. Perhaps if he made the effort...Severus approached slowly, and he began to realize that the pieces of parchment that Soomin was tearing up were not blank. They had writing on them. 

“What are you doing…?” 

Soomin gave a jump, before scowling at Severus. “None of your business, mudblood lover. Just leave me alone.” Severus felt anger bubbling in his stomach, as he always did when Soomin insisted on describing Lily the way she did. He tried to remain calm, he tried to adhere to Quill’s earlier advice. Soomin really did look miserable. One of the scraps of parchment fluttered down beside her robes without her seeming to notice. Severus bent down to pick it up, and she slapped his hand away, hard. 

“Forget it, okay Severus? I’m burning my homework, that’s all.” 

“...Why?” Severus found himself staring at her. 

Soomin averted her eyes, and glanced toward the fire. “Doesn’t matter. Just got some bad marks is all. Flitwick is a moron, but he’s also definitely a half-breed, so what do I expect?” In frustration, she kicked a nearby bag off the couch. 

Severus hesitated. “Want some help with that, then?” Slytherins take care of their own, he kept telling himself. They took care of their own. He could do that. Maybe if he made an effort with Soomin, he could persuade her to back off Lily. Lily...suddenly. Severus remember the enchanted lily flower and carefully placed it next to his bag, before sitting down beside Soomin, who merely gave him a scoff. 

“I don’t need any help. I don’t want any, either. So just clear off and take all your pretty flowers, with you. Let me guess, Evans give you that?” 

“No,” Severus shook his head. “She didn’t. For your information, I’m going to give it to her. On Valentine's Day.” Severus waited. He waited, but Soomin said nothing. So after brief hesitation, he took the next step in attending to bond. “I fancy her.” He admitted abruptly.”

Soomin gave a loud snort. “No shit, Severus.” Seeing the look on his face, she rolled her eyes. “What, you think I didn’t know? Everyone knows. It’s completely obvious - you follow her everywhere and stare at her like you’re some old, devoted dog. Listen,” Soomin’s eyes narrowed. “Because blokes don’t see this sort of thing, but girls notice when you make constant, unnecessary excuses to touch us.” She shook her head. “If Evans doesn’t know, she’s either in denial or she’s stupider than I thought. Far as I’m concerned, the two of you are disgusting and deserve each other.” 

Severus was now starting to feel miserable. All of the intrigue and hope he had felt after his conversation with Quill was starting to drain out of him. If Soomin was right, then his world was ending. “Don’t know why I even bothered,” He snapped. “This is why Thalia and Esteban hate you, y’know that? Because you know what you don’t understand? We are all in Slytherin, we’re in this House together, and we’re supposed to look out for each other. But you’d rather alienate everyone in your family.” 

Soomin had frozen. She said nothing for a moment, staring at Severus as though he was a ghost. Severus knew he had probably gone too far, and completely misfired the entire idea of bonding with his house-mates...but what was he meant to do? Soomin Crowe just refused to be nice to anyone. He thought about apologizing, but...he had meant every word that he’d said. In the end, he just stood up. “Never mind, I’m going to bed.” 

He skulked his way into the dormitory, grateful that Esteban was already asleep, and slammed his bag down onto the floor. He was, however, very careful to set the lily flower on his desk without letting it come to harm. Though like the one in his dream, he felt certain that this one was magical, and would not wilt. Despite himself, Severus started to feel a little better. He knew what he needed to do now. Take care of his own. And it wasn’t just the Slytherins. It was Lily as well. More than anyone. As he closed his eyes, she popped into his head, as brilliant and beautiful as ever. Tomorrow, he could set to work befriending some of the other Slytherins. Just not anyone who spoke about Lily the way Soomin did. 

He fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, the primary six have all been given a voice. From here on out, I'm going to try and switch off between them, but not necessarily in the same order every time. Depends on how the story plays out, and I don't want to get stuck by limitations like who's turn it is, know what I mean?
> 
> Snape, like Peter, is a bit of a difficult toy to play with. I want to balance his redeeming qualities with his toxic ones. I hope this chapter humanized him a little more though. We also got to see a lot more of Professor Quill. Hey, she's a D.A.D.A. teacher, and this isn't HPHM. You knew she had to be relevant! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience, and thank you for reading!


	7. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he grows closer to his friends, Remus struggles to keep them out of his double life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! This is my favorite chapter so far, for reasons that will likely be obvious by the end. 
> 
> It's a Remus chapter. I know we heard from him recently, but I have it all planned out. We'll definitely keep it even and fair, and you'll soon see why this chapter HAD to be from his point of view. Let's dive in!

Day by day, it grew worse. With every passing hour, it felt less like a vague nightmare...because the longer the month went on, the more real it felt. He would wake up each morning, out of breath, his heart pounding. Struggling to retain the memories, and yet terrified of the ghosts from his past. Perhaps the single most frustrating aspect of all this was that Remus could not remember it. The nights that he lost himself, and how it would feel to do so. Though he did not miss or want the memories, being robbed of them also prevented him from ever settling into routine. He was never braced for the pain and fear, because it still surprised him every time. Transformation, transfiguration...the human condition of change and renewal. Perhaps it was simple nature. 

When he’d spoken to his mother about these things, she had admitted to experiencing something similar eleven years ago, when she had birthed him. Though her husband, and practically every physician in the building, could hear her screaming...she had realized in the following months that she had not retained the memory of pain. She knew it had hurt, but she could no longer recall the feeling. Perhaps the human brain shielded itself from recalling trauma, physical or otherwise. Perhaps that was the human condition. 

On the other hand, it was quite wrong and giving Remus far too much credit, he thought, to refer to his incidents as “human” nature. For he was very much not human on these nights...some days he looked in the mirror and wondered if he still had any right to call himself human at all. Because in truth, he wasn’t. Not...not anymore. Not after what he’d experienced, what he had become. He carried a second entity within himself, another character...and as happy as he was, here at Hogwarts...he knew in his heart that he was simply putting everyone else in danger. Hagrid, Madam Pomfrey, Professor Dumbledore...they had all reassured him time and again that he was safe. But what if they were wrong? 

When Remus closed his eyes, what little he could remember flitted through his brain. His father breaking down and leaving the room when he came in to check on Remus after a full moon and saw how much he had wrecked his bedroom. The whispered worries of his parents about what they would do with him when they thought he was asleep. Even here, he could sometimes hear his very best mates whispering when he was out of the room. Stopping when he walked in. While he didn’t know what they were saying, he’d definitely caught his name more than once. 

Remus knew he wasn’t the smartest student in his year, not by a longshot. That was probably James, or maybe that Lily Evans girl. But he also wasn’t stupid. People talking about him behind his back was nothing new, and he knew very well what it meant. They didn’t really want him around after all, they simply put up with him because, as their roommate, he was mostly impossible to avoid. Guilt mingled in Remus’ stomach, along with an even worse feeling. He wanted them to understand - if they were done with him, he wouldn’t raise a fuss about it. No, he would go quietly. Remus didn’t want them to keep spending their time on him just because they were nice. That wasn’t fair, not after all they had done for him. But at the thought of leaving them behind, that second feeling roiled in his belly. The painful sting, like he had been hit with a jinx. 

He didn’t want to lose them. 

But...they deserved better. 

All of this sat in his mind, brewing like a long-since spoiled soup, as Remus himself sat at the Gryffindor table, staring at his untouched porridge. He was roused from his stupor when the boy next to him lightly elbowed him. Remus jumped slightly, muttering an automatic apology, only to find himself looking into James Potters’ concerned face. 

“Oi, are you gonna eat your breakfast or not? Because if you’re not, I am.” He added with a playful grin.” Without a word, Remus pushed the bowl over to sit in front of James. He realized his mistake a moment later. He ought to have delivered it with some sort of joke or quip, because now both James and Peter were looking at him with concern. Marlene McKinnon had noticed too. Great, the last thing he needed was more attention. 

“What’s wrong, did you have another nightmare?” Peter squeaked. “Madam Pomfrey says I’ve stopped sleepwalking, since she gave me potion, I’m sure she could-” 

Thwap.

Peter was interrupted by the arrival of the morning mail. Specifically, a small parcel that had landed right in front of James. To be specific, it had landed in his newly claimed porridge, splattering both he and Remus. James roared with laughter, but Peter looked on nervously at Remus, biting his nails. A moment later, Kingsley Shacklebolt came over to clean James up with a quick scourgify. The Prefect for Gryffindor was like the Head of House - they were both strict, but also fair-minded, and with a somewhat questionable tendency to look the other way for the four most notorious mischief-makers in their House. 

Grateful for the chance to change the subject, Remus leaned in slightly. “So what did you get from home?” 

James was still licking porridge off his fingers, and hadn’t bothered to notice the gift yet. “No idea. Let’s open it though.” With the combined effort of the three of them, unwrapping did not take very long, and soon enough they were beholding a brand new set of Wizard’s Chess. James pumped his fists in the air. “They said they’d send me one! This is wicked.” 

“Is it?” Peter was glancing at the chessboard up and down curiously. “It just looks like ordinary chess to me.” 

James chuckled. “Okay Peter, I cannot wait to play a round with you, and see the look on your face. But I’m playing Sirius first, it’s a rule. Can you go fetch him?” Peter nodded, jumped to his feet, and made his way out of the Great Hall. 

Remus watched him go before turning back to James and the new chessboard. “I wish Sirius would actually eat with us in the Great Hall.” It was truly a rare occurrence for the fourth member of their friend group to be seen with his house-mates at meal time, though there was a very good reason for this. Ever since Sirius had practically made history with just his Sorting, his family had not let him forget it. A howler from his mother had arrived barely a week into term. Followed by a second one within three days. At that point, Sirius had told his cousin Andromeda to let his parents know (He had refused to contact them himself) that he was no longer eating in the Great Hall. Most days, Remus and the others would simply stockpile some food at head back to the Common Room to eat with him there. 

That had not stopped Walburga Black, however. She began sending howlers to Gryffindor Tower, until the windows had been charmed to repel owls that carried them. She had sent howlers to his classes as well, until she’d made the mistake of doing so to Professor McGonagall. Though James had already complained to her, and she’d written a strongly-worded letter of her own to Sirius’ parents telling them that they needed to back off, Walburga had simply sent back another Howler screaming about how she would take no parenting advice from a “half-blood battleaxe” 

McGonagall had kept her temper then. But when she received a howler in her classroom, she had all the excuse she needed to strike back once more. She had written Walburga a howler of her own, expressing that while her discipline of her own child was her business, that no longer applied if it disrupted the other students. “So help me, if I must endure your screeching one more time, my next correspondence with you will do far more than scream.”

Despite this, Sirius still declined to eat in the Great Hall, fearing the retaliation of cousin Narcissa, and her various Slytherin friends. Remus hated this - he always felt better when Sirius was around. It just felt so wrong for him to keep away like this. On most days, Remus would be right up in Gryffindor Tower with him. But...not today. He couldn’t do so today. Sirius had become far too good at picking up on the signs. He was getting too close. They’d be at their worst today, so Remus knew he had to avoid one of his favorite people.

James was looking solemn. “I wrote to my parents about, y’know, all of this, a while ago. But there isn’t much they can do. If Sirius’ mum won’t even listen to the teachers, she won’t listen to a couple of blood traitors.” James made a face, and then rubbed his hands together. “So I’m thinking we’ll have to do something.” Remus blinked, not sure if he had heard correctly. But now James was nodding and looking more excited. “We need to find a way to make sure Sirius isn’t hiding away like a flobberworm. He’s way too cool for that.” 

Remus was nodding. “No arguments here, but what can we do?” 

James paused to consider this question, but the boys were interrupted, yet again, by the owl post. This time a handsome owl, with auburn colored feathers, fluttered down to land in front of Remus. Holding out her leg politely, where she had an envelope attached. It was embroidered with a floral pattern and had the name “Remus Lupin” written on the back, in the handwriting that Remus recognized as his mother’s. 

“Oi, you got a letter, not bad! So what’s in…” James trailed off as he and the auburn owl seemed to notice each other all of a sudden. “Is it...it is you, isn’t it?” James bounced slightly in his seat, and the owl fluttered her wings impatiently. Clearly wanting Remus to hurry up with the untying, so he did. Remus suddenly had the strangest feeling that this owl had been the one to drop the parcel into James’ porridge, and that she had not done so by accident. 

“Remus, I think this is the same owl that delivered my Hogwarts letter! Hi! It’s so good to see you again-” James broke off as Remus finished untying his mother’s letter, and the auburn owl took off without waiting another moment. James looked thoroughly disappointed, and Remus tried his best not to smile. Shaking his head, James turned back to Remus. “Ah well, what’s in the letter?” 

Remus gulped. His amusement vanishing on the spot, he quickly tried to stow the letter away in his robes, muttering that it was nothing, but James was faster. He snatched the letter. “Come on, show us the gold!” He laughed as Remus struggled and stammered, pleading with James, who seemed to take no notice. When his face changed however, and he adjusted his glasses, Remus knew the battle was lost, and his hopes were sunk. James surely now knew his secret. 

James looked up in shock. “It’s your birthday?” 

Yeah, that one. Not his darkest secret, of course. But it was something that he really hadn’t wanted anyone to know. Perhaps it could have been worse. If his mother had loose lips, she might have spoken of other things, but she was too clever to mention such things in a letter. No, Remus would still have to face the music, but at least it was a simpler song.

He felt himself cringe. “No, I mean...yes. Must be an older card...I mean, a late arrival...look, yes, it is my birthday, alright? But please,” He muttered frantically, already fearing the glow of excitement in James’ eyes, “Don’t make a big deal about it, yeah? Just, don’t tell the others-” 

“Don’t tell us what?” 

Peter had returned, carrying Sirius in tow. Remus now felt like crying. He might have let his head rest on the desk, but all of a sudden he got the sense that doing so would pull a muscle in his neck. Was that normal? 

“What is it, another letter from the beast?” Sirius rolled his eyes, grabbing the letter before James could respond. “Let’s see the damage…” Remus, meanwhile, glanced down at the floor as Sirius read the letter, with Peter peering over his shoulder. He wondered briefly if he could cast some sort of spell that would allow him to sink into the floor and disappear...weren’t the Hogwarts kitchens on the floor below? He could have sworn Professor Sprout had said that…

“Excuse me,” Sirius held up the letter from Remus’ mother, doing a lousy job at feigning indignance. “Just why didn’t you tell us today was your birthday? Come here, you!” But instead of attacking, Sirius did what Remus had expected, grabbing him and yanking him into a bear hug. Remus felt his face heating up. Sirius was always very warm, and he smelled good. These were distractions that he’d prefer to go without for the moment. 

“Thanks, all of you, but - please. Listen. I’m very busy today, and-” He wanted to break free, but leaving a hug with Sirius was like stepping out into a snowstorm when one could say inside and at home. He could never bring himself to do it. Such a decision was mercifully made easier when Sirius moved back to give Peter his turn in the hugging cycle. “I’ve got a Potions essay to work on, and-”

“Today, of all days?” James laughed. “Come on, you just wait until Slughorn hears-”

“No, please, I don’t want people to know. The last thing I want is to be the center of attention. Seriously!” Remus’ voice now carried the hint of a plea, and he felt his anxiety climbing. He was always afraid to lose his patience with the others, because if he was anything but friendly, perhaps they’d realize how much better they’d be without him...but sometimes it felt like James and Sirius simply did not listen if the other person didn’t raise their voice. 

Thankfully, his friends now seemed to finally be getting the message. Faces were falling. Eyes were filled with trepidation. Concern. Oh no, this wasn’t any better. “Mate...are you okay?” James raised an eyebrow. Sirius was trying to catch Remus’ eye, but he in turn was trying to avoid the eyes of anyone looking at him. All three of them were. 

“Look, I need to go, I have...detention.” Remus mumbled. 

“At nine in the morning?” Sirius’ tone indicated that he was not falling for it, and Remus knew he was blowing this. But what could he do? Today, of all days...it just had to be today. 

“I’m sorry, I just...it’s just. It’s not a great time.” The pressure was climbing. It was stronger now than it had been in days. Remus could feel it - that second entity, clawing at his insides. His friends were staring at him. Was there no escape? 

“Look I...I need to get going. Bathroom...I mean, detention. That is. Detention in the bathroom. No, wait, that’s not…” He was spluttering, losing control of the ability to form words. Time to leave. “I’ll catch up with you later, I just need to- _ agh! _ ”

As he’d tried to get up, a searing cramp had shot up Remus’ leg, causing him to fall flat on the floor. He was now starting to draw attention from the other Gryffindors, to say nothing of his friends. With a collective cry of his name, the three of them helped him to his feet. 

“Dunno what’s going on with you, but I’m starting to think you need the Hospital Wing.” James adjusted his glasses, frowning. Peter nodded vigorously at the same time Remus shook his head. But before he could protest, he caught Sirius’ eye again. 

“Hospital is no place to spend your birthday, but Remus...Merlin, just look at you.” A hand rested on his forehead, and Remus only felt warmer. Perhaps it was the fever that Sirius seemed to think he had. Or perhaps it was just the extended touching. That was also a possibility. “You’re really warm, you can’t put two sentences together…” Sirius' voice broke slightly. “I think something’s really wrong with him.” 

“ _ Sirius, if you only knew. _ ” Remus thought glumly. Because there was something wrong with him. Nightmarishly wrong. If Sirius could see the monster that roiled beneath the surface, if he knew that Remus was no human, but a monster in human skin...if he knew the truth about the Whomping Willow...he would never worry about Remus. At least, not in the way that he was right now. 

This was probably the worst possible scenario that he could have imagined. His three friends were half-carrying him out of the Great Hall as it was packed with students. At least a few would certainly notice, right? What if Snape caught wind? Or Crowe? Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time. Students had allergic reactions before. They’d also been affected with various jinxes. Setting aside the various howlers from Sirius’ mother, Gryffindors and Slytherins would send each other magical pranks all the time. Remus could only hope no one would bother to pay attention. 

It took a lot of explaining, with James, Sirius and Peter all talking over each other and Remus seemingly unable to say a thing, before Madam Pomfrey could get a word in. She’d been staring at Remus, searching his eyes. She did not appear to have listened to a word his friends had said, though of course, it wasn’t as though she needed to. After a slight pause, Madam Pomfrey spoke up pointedly. “What were you having for breakfast, Mr. Lupin?” 

“Er...porridge, I think.” Remus struggled to remember. His hot flashes didn’t usually get this bad, not even this close to the turning point of his cycle. Today was particularly strong.

“Well, these are all the symptoms of an allergic reaction. I’ll take it from here, boys. Go on off to your lessons, Mr. Lupin should be good as new by lunch.” Madam Pomfrey did not wait around for his friends to argue. Each time they spoke up, she sternly cut them off, insisting they be on their way. Remus felt a tremendous weight lift from his shoulders when they finally departed. But...he also felt oddly miserable. He wanted them back, he did, he just...wished he were someone else. Someone who could have friends. But he was not. He was a monster. 

With the other boys gone, Madam Pomfrey turned back to face him. Her expression was one of understanding, but even if she knew more than most people, she could never truly know what it was like. “I’ll fetch something for your fever. Mr. Lupin, while you are the first case I’ve studied personally...I must say that I’ve never seen the symptoms get as strong as yours. I’m starting to wonder if stress is not exacerbating them.”

Remus had scarcely heard a word that she’d said. As if proving her point, he swayed on the spot, and began to panic. “Madam Pomfrey, I...I didn’t eat any of my porridge. It spilled. They’re-they’re going to know this isn’t an allergy. They already suspect me, it’s only a matter of time-” 

“Just sit tight, Mr. Lupin.” Madam Pomfrey sighed. “I’ll be right back.” 

Remus slumped against the wall and closed his eyes. The nightmares were always bad, but somehow they were particularly fierce when he was actually awake. No, it didn’t make sense. But that was his life. Biting his lip, he felt another spasm shoot up his back. It was like something was desperately clawing his insides, trying to get out...and he knew he could not hold it in for much longer. Soon enough, the full moon would shine high in the sky. The monster within him would return to its’ full power. It would seize control, and Remus would no longer be able to resist it. He knew. It had already happened several times. 

And his friends were starting to take notice. 

He was living on borrowed time, and he knew it. 

But there were still a few hours left, and it seemed that his friends were still a few steps behind the truth. When he returned to them a few hours later, James, Sirius and Peter appeared to be none the wiser. They had respected his wishes and not mentioned to any of his classes that today was his birthday. Which he appreciated - back in November, James had practically led a parade when Sirius had turned twelve. Indeed, it seemed as though in light of his morning sickness, Remus’ friends had agreed to let the matter drop.

Oh, if only it had been that easy. Remus had no idea how they had managed it, but he would soon find out that his friends had put together a “small” surprise for him in record time. James had agreed that Remus should probably go to bed early and rest, and Peter reminded them that they could always eat with Sirius up in the Dormitory. Looking back, Remus ought to have known something was off, from the way Peter and James kept exchanging secret smiles. 

When they had arrived in the Dormitory that the four of them shared, Remus had been met by a far-too-large cake, and the sounds of James and Peter singing happy birthday, very much off-key, behind him. If that wasn’t enough, Sirius (Remus could hardly believe his eyes) burst out of the cake a moment later, wearing some kind of muggle garb that Remus had never seen before. Despite everything, he found himself laughing for the first time all day. 

He could have laughed all night, if he had the time. But barely a half hour had passed before his laughs began to turn into coughs. Remus reached out, intending to grab hold of his four-poster for support. But his aim was lousy, and instead he had grabbed Sirius’ shoulder. Remus moved to pull back and apologize, but Sirius caught his hand, which made Remus’ heart skip a beat. “Are you sure you’re alright….?” 

The perfect opportunity. As Sirius studied Remus, the latter quickly shook his head. “Y’know, Madam Pomfrey told me I should probably come back for a second dose of potion, and that I should stay the night if I really still felt lousy. This has been fun, but I...I think I should take her up on that. Thank you, I...that is, thank you so much, everyone. But I need to go.” He turned to stumble his way down the stairs, praying that they wouldn’t follow. Well, half of him prayed that they would not. A smaller, weaker, more desperate part of his soul half-wished that they would. But he knew he had to get away, far away. It was coming. With a glance out the window, he could see that the sun was setting. 

Remus passed by the Great Hall, where most people were still at dinner, which was a relief. They were distracted. No one would notice him making his way to the grounds, where Hagrid would be waiting for him. The surprise birthday party had almost made Remus late, but he could never regret how much his friends cared for him. Peter, a kindred spirit, who identified with his anxieties. James, the bold leader, who had welcomed him into the friend group without a second thought. And Sirius…

Oh, Sirius….

It was difficult to put into words, which was a first for Remus because he was normally quite good with words. But never before had he met someone around whom he could breathe so easily, yet someone who still managed to make him sweat at the same time. Sirius was like fire under the water. He was as caring as he was passionate. He was insanity sealed in a bottle. He was hell on wheels. He was...he was…

Following Remus. Oh bloody hell, no. It was all over. Someone had followed him, and it just had to be Sirius. Stupid, stubborn, way-too-good-looking Sirius, was about to learn his secret, and no doubt expose him once he learned that Remus had been lying to him all this time. For once Remus turned the corner to exit the castle and head out onto the grounds, he’d heard the footsteps. Whirling around and tripping, Remus caught sight of him. 

And now he was here, extending his hand, to help Remus to his feet. But this was terrible. His cover was already blown, but if Sirius didn’t leave soon, he could be in terrible danger. “Sirius, I...I can explain.” 

“Thought you could use some fresh air?” It was an explanation practically handed to him, but in another moment Sirius folded his arms, and his expression made it very clear that he was dealing in sarcasm. “Look, whatever’s going on here, you don’t have to tell us, but-” 

“Please…” Remus was nearly at his breaking point, his voice weakening. “Please. Just go back to the dormitory. Don’t tell the others.  _ Please. _ ” 

There was an agonizing pause. Well, it was agonizing on Remus’ end, for he had the full context. Sirius did not. He studied Remus with his dark eyes, before they narrowed. “Is...is someone hurting you, Remus?” He finally said. 

The question threw him off entirely. Of all things, he hadn’t expected it. “Wha…? Hurting...no? What do you mean?” He stammered, temporarily forgetting about the ticking clock. 

Sirius moved closer. Remus’ breath caught as his friend grabbed his shoulders. “Listen, I know it’s no secret that my mum is a horrid old bat. She’s made sure the whole school knows it. But...you don’t know the whole story. My family...well, they’re vicious. You know it’s a Black tradition to kill our house elves and keep the heads as ornaments?” Remus couldn’t help making a face, and Sirius mirrored it, nodding. “Should give you an idea of what I put up with. My mum definitely hates me the most, but she treats everyone in the family like that. Well, except maybe my brother…” He added as an aside, rolling his eyes. 

“You have a brother?” Remus’ tone was one of wonder, but Sirius pressed on. 

“Not the point. I guess my point is...parents can be horrible to their kids sometimes. And not all of them are as obvious about it as my mother. Remus...we know you sneak out at night.” As he said this, Remus felt his blood run cold, but Sirius continued. “There have been nights where your bed was empty, and then you just pretended everything was normal the next morning. James also told me that you didn’t actually eat your breakfast this morning, so you can drop the whole “allergy” act.” 

“You don’t understand, it’s...it’s complicated.” Remus’ eyes were burning with the beginnings of involuntary tears. 

“I might. That is...I might understand. But I’ll never know if I could, if you don’t tell me. Listen, if you’re hurt...if someone is hurting you...I know what that’s like.” Sirius spoke in a slow, deliberate tone, his eyes never leaving Remus’ gaze. He slowly took Remus’ hands...and for a moment Remus felt as though he was floating, before Sirius rolled up his sleeve...and revealed a scar along his arm. 

“I...I fell.” Was all Remus could muster in excuse. It was stupid and pathetic, and he knew it even before he said it, but what else was there to offer? The scar damned him, and his mind had frozen. 

Sirius stared at him. Before letting go of his hand to roll up his own sleeve, revealing a scar of his own. It was shaped differently than Remus’ own, it bore the signs of having been inflicted by magic. “Yeah.” Sirius agreed quietly. “I fell too.” 

There was a long pause. Remus knew that time was running out. The sky was darkening, and a terrible instinct was rising up inside him. Sirius needed to leave, right now. But...Remus had never felt closer to him. “I’m so sorry.” Was all he could say, in the quietest voice. Ignoring the voices in the back of his head, Remus hugged his friend, who returned the gesture. After far too long, yet not long enough, they leaned back in sync. 

“Just...is it your mum? Because you said she was a muggle, and that doesn’t look like a curse scar. I don’t know what else it could be, and I don’t need to know, but if she really is-”

“It’s my mum.” Remus interjected, before quickly realizing his mistake, and steamrolling on. His brain had jumpstarted, and now hatched an idea. “Not...not what you’re thinking. She isn’t hurting me. Neither of my parents do that, it’s...she’s ill. She gets chronically ill. I don’t remember how to pronounce the name, it’s a muggle illness. When I leave the Dormitory, she’s the one I’m going to see.” He hesitated, falling silent. Would it work? 

Sirius listened, and slowly nodded. “That’s good.” He muttered, lifting his head to meet Remus’ eyes. Remus felt his heart pound, with multiple causes. Could Sirius see through him? See the truth? He hated lying, especially with how much his friend had opened up to him. But this one was secret Remus simply could not divulge. Even if he’d wanted to, even if to do so didn’t throw his life away...the entire purpose of Professor Dumbledore’s plan had been to keep this process safe, and keep it a secret. 

“And tonight...it’s my birthday, y’know? Of course she wants to see me, and it’s a good chance to spend some quality time. There’s a portkey waiting for Hagrid's Hut, and...and Dumbledore gave special permission and everything, but he doesn’t want me to spread it around, or seem like I’m getting preferential treatment, y’know? He gets enough criticism for his muggle tolerance as it is.” Remus spoke very quickly, inventing more lies on the spot, based on truth, to supplement his story. 

“Makes sense.” Sirius nodded, though Remus got the horrible feeling that his story had at least one or two holes...and that Sirius could see them. He still had not explained his scar. And unfortunately, it was unlikely to be the last he received in his lifetime, or even the last he picked up in his Hogwarts career. Keeping a lid on this was only going to get tougher as the years went by. 

“Just...if there’s any more to the story, you can tell us, y’know?” The look in Sirius’ eyes was slowly killing him. Remus could barely stand it. “We’re here. I’m here. We care about you. We were hoping the surprise could cheer you up. I’m...I’m sorry if that was the wrong move, but I just hope you understand how much effort James put into it. He skived off two lessons. Mind you, I think he was more than happy to do it, just-” 

Remus’ insecurities flared up, and just like that, he was silently crying. So Sirius just hugged him again, as Remus gasped apology after apology. All it had taken was a few words, no doubt unintentional on Sirius’ part, to remind Remus of what a burden he was. But even as Remus collapsed more and more, Sirius’ embrace, and his whispered words, were soothing him. 

“Listen, hey, it’s okay! Just...just listen. Do what you need to do. We’ll be here in the morning. Every morning, you got that? And someday, I hope you’ll tell us what’s bothering you. Because we’re a team, you understand me? Whatever’s coming, whatever you’re dealing with...no matter how big or how small. We face that stuff together.” 

Remus was overwhelmed. “Together.” He mouthed, before the hug ended, and Sirius took a couple of steps back, rolling down his sleeve. 

“You shouldn’t be late for your portkey.” He said, sounding oddly huffy and looking somewhat flushed. “So uh, good luck with that. And, Remus...happy birthday.” Sirius gave a small wave, paused, and then turned to head back into the castle. Remus watched him go. 

He stood there in silence, reflecting on the conversation, and all of the feelings that were boiling inside of him. Except not all of them were his own. Well, obviously they were. But it was another side of him that was taking control now. A darker side, his secret shame. He had almost forgotten, the moment with Sirius had driven it clean from his mind. Yet now, another spasm fired it’s way through his midsection and he collapsed onto the grass. 

Struggling to get to his feet, Remus looked around, his eyes darting across the grounds, and up at the sky. The sun had set. He was late. He was so very late. But it was still a cloudy evening. There was time yet before moonrise. Just a little. 

“Took yeh long enough,” Hagrid boomed, ushering Remus along as he limped his way toward the giant man. “Quickly now, thas’ it. Let’s getcha into the Willow. Didja have trouble gettin’ away?” 

“Something...like that.” Remus groaned, as he realized that speaking words, human language, was an art he was swiftly forgetting. 

“Immobulus!” Hagrid bellowed, as they approached the fierce and lively tree. It had really grown into itself, a far cry from the seedling it had been when Hagrid and Madam Pomfrey had first shown it to him. As Hagrid raised a pink umbrella, the branches shuddered and became still. “Now then, through the passage. Don’t reckon I can squeeze through meself...you know the way from here?” 

“I do.” Remus nodded, out of breath. He remembered very little about his transformations, but it was all starting to come back to him, and he’d never forgotten the path to to his safety net. His bunker. It was a straight shot. All he could hope for now was that he made it. As he disappeared into the passage, he was blocked off from any light coming from the night sky. But even if moonlight itself was enough to instantly trigger a transformation, the absence of it was not enough to prevent one. It was not so simple. The mind of the wolf could still sense it’s welcoming signal. 

Remus made it almost the entire way to the hidden, ruined house before he collapsed. No. He needed...to get inside. If he did not...he might make it all the way back through the passage to the Hogwarts grounds. That could not be allowed to happen. His coherence was slipping away into a red-hot focus, a bloodthirsty need….his body was twisting. The monster in his soul had snatched away his autonomy, his free will. Remus was now the prisoner in his own body, not the other way around. 

“Nooooughhh…” He growled, using the last of his energy to claw at the trapdoor, forcing his way through and then using his stronger muscles to seal it once more. His hands were no longer hands. His mind was no longer his own. He let out a fierce sound of triumph. No longer was he denied the hunt. No longer was he in chains. After a month of dormancy, he was finally awake. 

But there was nothing to hunt. The wolf gave a great sniff, yet could sense no humans within range. So distinctly other, and yet they were bound as soul twins, bound by the curse placed on this body. Both creatures in one vessel. There were no humans around, the wolf’s natural prey was nowhere to be seen. Which left only one human scent, buried deep within the wolf’s subconscious. It was better than nothing. 

Fierce, tearing pain. Blood spattered. Aggressive growling, agonized whimpers...the battle raged on, as the wolf ripped it’s kill apart. But the kill was itself. The human locked within the body he had reclaimed. If he dug deep enough, could he sink his fangs into it’s flesh? He could not reach his own neck, and the frustration built...how was he to finalize the kill? To finish the job? Remus and the Wolf howled together, in pain and anger. The only solidarity they had was a mutual torment, as their constant companion. 

Remus was not truly conscious. He could not be, such was the way of lycanthropy. But he was in there somewhere, vaguely feeling the searing pain of the wolf’s desperate bites. He would have more scars that he could not remember obtaining in the days to come. It was like having a nightmare, his awareness was a drop in the bucket. The wolf was in control. 

But it’s a funny thing. A werewolf’s natural prey was the human. The being with whom the wolf mind had merged itself. Other animals were nothing to the Werewolf, nothing worse than distractions. But a distraction wasn’t necessarily a bad thing for Remus, or what little of him there was at the moment. 

Though Remus would not remember anything the following morning, waking up with torn clothes and fresh wounds, he would have the faintest sense that he had not been alone the previous night. Resolving that it was likely the supportive words of Sirius, and maintaining no recollection of the gray tabby that joined him in the shack before too long. It simply kept him company. Distracted the wolf mind from it’s rage, and desperate hunger. 

Remus, though he did not realize it, was far from alone. He had friends, and people who cared about him much more than he understood. There were people by his side, and even though he had been cursed from a young age, perhaps it wasn’t all bad. Maybe someday he could trust Sirius with the truth. Maybe Sirius would accept him. So they could face their demons head-on...together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For no particular reason at all, I want you guys to guess which non-canon ship is going to be endgame in this fic. I'm sure I haven't given any hints. Nope, none at all. 
> 
> This one did get pretty heavy, though. Like usual, I'm trying to respect the canon, but also build upon it. Given what we know about Walburga, I don't think it's even a head-canon that she was abusive. 
> 
> The lie about Remus' mum comes right from POA, he tells Harry that it was one he used. As does the detail that he bit and scratched himself, having no one else to attack. I had a lot of fun exploring how the werewolf psychosis might justify that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope y'all have a great holiday! (Well, as great as it can be, considering the circumstances...)


	8. A Dangerous Figure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With exams looming for the first years, a far greater peril rears its head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory apology for this chapter taking longer to finish than I'd planned. I couldn't decide who would go next in the narration order. I settled on James, but this one almost went a few different ways. 
> 
> I'd also originally planned to include another canon character, and give them a proper introduction in this chapter. But I ultimately put that on delay. 
> 
> We're closing in on the end of first year as well, so that should be fun. Please enjoy!

“Try again. What are the main ingredients in the Cure for Boils?” 

“Er...dragon scales, right?” 

When James gave his answer, Remus looked up from his roll of parchment with an expression of poorly hidden disappointment. Sirius was snickering. James shot him a look that plainly said, ‘oh, like you could do any better’ before turning back to Remus. “Was I close? It’s definitely something reptilian. I know it is.” 

Remus raised an eyebrow, as Peter suddenly jumped up and down on the sofa cushions, raising his hand like he was in class. Sirius grinned and pointed toward him. “Go on then, let’s say it at the same time.” 

“Okay! One, two, three - snake fangs!” They cried together, and with a roar of triumph, Sirius leaped out of the armchair and rushed over to give Peter a high-five. James stuck his tongue out at the pair of them. 

“Yeah, snake fangs, I knew that…” He insisted unconvincingly, avoiding the bemused look of the boy sitting across from him. 

“Come on James,” Sirius interjected, absently pushing Peter to one side so that he could flop down onto the sofa as well. “If you don’t memorize this stuff, Evans and Snivellus are going to leave you trailing behind.”

“As if.” James scoffed. He might lose to Evans, he could admit as much. She at least, seemed to be alright, even seemed to be quite clever. But Snape...bloody hell, to say that Snivellus Snape was a pain in the neck would be the understatement of the century. He was about as insufferable as Professional McGonagall was amazing. He was like Mulciber, Travers, Crowe - all of those hateful snakes in the grass. Probably pureblood, though James hadn’t ever heard the name “Snape” before. 

Ever since they had set foot at Hogwarts, James and Snape had despised each other. They’d gotten detentions on multiple occasions for talking over each other during lessons. It had become a pattern for James to correct Snape when he would participate in Transfiguration, so Snape (and occasionally Evans) had started doing it to him in Potions. A subject that he was not nearly as knowledgeable in, not that he’d concede as much to the likes of them.

“We all know Remus is going to be top of the class.” James smiled over at his fourth friend, who returned the gesture before the need arose to dodge a pillow that James had thrown at him. “Besides, Snape will probably get expelled for trying to use dark curses during one of the exams. Did you hear what he did to Proudfoot?” 

“That was Avery, I think.” Remus mused, resurfacing from his pillow bunker. “Either way, you need to learn your ingredients, James Potter. Besides, I thought potions was your family’s specialty?”

James turned faintly pink and looked aside. “Sort of...Mum n Dad are quite good at it, I s’pose...but eh, I dunno. I prefer Transfiguration.” 

“Defense Against the Dark Arts for me.” Sirius leaned back, yawning. “Better than my family’s specialty, that’s for damn sure. Quill’s mad as a hatter but at least she doesn’t actually _practice_ the Dark Arts...that we know of. Say Remus, what’s your family’s specialty?”

The quietest of the friend group gave a small shrug. “Well, I’d say my favorite subject is Defense too.” He caught Sirius’ eye and they exchanged a warm smile. “But I don’t really differ from my Dad on that. It was his best subject in school as well. And Mum is a muggle, so y’know, doesn’t apply.” 

“Your Dad must be rather good at Healing magic as well, right?” Peter chimed in with wide eyes. “To help your Mum when she gets sick?” 

James’ eyes shifted back to Remus, who seemed to momentarily freeze. Only momentarily, however. He continued speaking within half a second, to clarify that of course his father knew Healing magic. But James barely heard this affirmation. He and Sirius had exchanged a knowing glance. Something was off about this. There was something Remus was not telling them. James did not tune back in until Peter began speaking; Remus had seemingly redirected the question. 

“I suppose my favorite subject is...I guess, Charms?” Peter shrugged a little. “It’s not as difficult as the others. Professor Flitwick is kind. He doesn’t scare me like Mcgonagall and Quill.” All of a sudden, Peter looked far happier. “The other day, after I’d gotten my padlock to open, I didn’t have anything to do,” James’ mind began to wander back to their previous Alohomora lesson. He’d gotten the hang of it, but not before accidentally turning his first lock into chocolate. “So,” Peter continued, rousing James’ attention, “I started drawing on a bit of spare parchment. Y’know, just doodles.” 

“What did you draw?” Remus’ eyes narrowed. 

Peter flushed. “Well...Professor Flitwick.” 

The Gryffindor Common room erupted into laughter. Peter smiled sheepishly. “I dropped the doodle as I was packing up my bag. Made a dive for it, but Flitwick summoned it and gave it back to me, so-so he saw-” 

James couldn’t stop himself from cracking up again. “Is that why you stayed behind? We were wondering-” 

“It was fine though! He wasn’t mad at all! He thought it was the most endearing thing he’d seen a student do in a while, and asked if he could keep it!” 

“Well done Peter, you’re a regular nickel and jello!” Sirius clapped his shoulder, and Remus just stared at them. 

“What did you say? Nickel and...jello?”

“Yeah, you know, the old saying? Means he’s a good artist.” 

James glanced over at Remus, who was looking between his three friends with increasing amusement. “...You mean, “michelangelo?” 

Raising an eyebrow, James shook his head. “I’m fairly sure it’s nickel and jello. What even is Michelangelo? That sounds like a constellation or something.” Remus seemed to be at a loss for words, staring hopelessly at his friends, before he simply started to crack up again. Soon joined by Sirius, Peter, and James. Though he didn’t always understand his friend, James appreciated his talents - which included a much more subtle sense of humor. Remus’ jokes often took a moment or two to figure out, he was always very clever about them. 

Still, the boys’ laughter was soon disrupted by a different noise. An impossibly loud bang reverberated through the Gryffindor Common Room, causing furniture to shake in place. Windows shattered, and the fire stewing in the hearth, which had been crackling merrily, suddenly winked out. James was not the most coordinated, and finding himself on the floor, he realized that he had fallen off the sofa. 

“Everyone okay?” He looked around, trying to blink away the blur in his vision. Somewhat blindly, he helped the nearest person get to their feet, which proved to be Sirius. The latter promptly replaced James’ glasses on his nose. With a word of thanks, James looked around. Remus and Peter were struggling to their feet as well. Behind them, several Gryffindors were descending from the Dormitories, woken by the noise, including Lily Evans and Kingsley Shacklebolt.

“What in the name of Merlin was that?” Kingsley boomed, his presence no less commanding, yet paradoxically calming as ever, even when he was half asleep and wearing pink pyjamas. 

“Don’t know. I think it came from outside.” James gasped slightly. Beside him, he noticed Peter beginning to tremble and tear up. His breath had gone erratic. Trading a glance with Remus, he nodded to Sirius as well. “Look after Peter. Get him to the Hospital Wing if you need to.” It was well known among their group of friends that Peter was prone to paralyzing spells of fear that Madam Pomfrey called “panic attacks.” He’d be in good hands with Remus and Sirius. But as for James…”I’m going to check this out.”

“Over my wand you are.” Kingsley interjected, pushing his way past James. “Everyone, stay back. Return to your Dormitories. I’m going to find Professor McGonagall and see what’s happened. Understood?” 

However, it was at this moment that Peter collapsed into a fetal position. His tremor became violent as Sirius struggled to restrain him, and Remus kept attempting to comfort him. It was no good. Peter was muttering some nonsense about seagulls, and had become entirely unresponsive. James turned back to Kingsley with his typical defiance. “We’re taking our friend to the Hospital Wing. If you don’t like it, give me detention. Come on, mates.” 

Kingsley did not argue. It was clear to anyone who looked at Peter, now hugging the table leg, that he needed some sort of medication for anxiety. “Fine, just be careful. And don’t you dare follow me, James Potter.” At this, James looked Kingsley in the eye, and nodded firmly. 

They exited the Portrait Hole, ignoring the complaints of the Fat Lady, who had gotten a larger blast of the noise, and made their way down the corridor. The signs of some kind of explosion grew more prevalent as they went on. The air was thick with heat, and several Portraits had been knocked off the wall. The five of them parted ways not long after, with the four young lads taking off for the Hospital Wing, Remus and Sirius half-carrying Peter, and Kingsley, his wand drawn, to follow the direction the noise appeared to have come from. 

James, however, said goodbye to his friends, waited a solid thirty seconds, and then pulled out his prized Cloak of Invisibility, before stalking after Kingsley instead. Whatever was going on at Hogwarts, he was determined to find out. It was lucky that they’d been safe in the Gryffindor Common Room, really. But even then, the noise had reduced Peter to a nervous wreck; James could scarcely imagine what would have happened if they’d still been on their way back from dinner. No, he couldn’t let anything threaten his friends. And no one would stand in the way of his investigation, not even-

_Thump._

“Oh, bloody hell!” A girl with long red hair let out a small shriek and jumped back, glancing around frantically and pulling out her wand. “Who’s there? Who was-” She broke off, for at the same time she had shouted, James himself had yelled “Merlin, Evans!” and it seemed that after a moment, Lily’s brain caught up with her and she recognized the voice. “Potter?” Her face dropped into one of disdain. “I know it’s you. Where are you? Where’d you hide?” 

Well, he was busted. That was unfortunate. Now James could only hope Lily Evans wouldn’t tell McGonagall or anyone else about his Invisibility Cloak. He was very fond of it and he couldn’t imagine returning home in a few weeks to tell his parents it had been confiscated. Supposedly it was an old family heirloom. But Evans was still a Gryffindor first and foremost, right? She would understand what he was up to, if he just explained...dropping the cloak, James offered her a sheepish smile, and she rolled her eyes. 

“Should have guessed you’d be sneaking around. Didn’t Kingsley tell you specifically not to do that?” 

“Well, why are _you_ out here then?” James shot back. “The dormitories have their own bathrooms, classes are over, and I don’t see you being the type to have a detention. So what’s your excuse then, Evans?” He smirked, seeing her blush. 

“It’s not your concern, Potter. I’m just...well. I’m investigating.” She trailed off, maintaining a look of defiance nonetheless. 

“Well, so am I, so don’t go around judging.” James chuckled, opening the cloak slightly as if to welcome her. “Either go back, or get under the cloak, and we can keep poking around.” 

“No thanks.” Evans shot back hotly, sticking her tongue out. “I can find my own way. Because if this has something to do with Project Luna-”

“Something to do with what?” 

“Never mind. Shush! I think Kingsley’s coming back this way! Oh, hell.” Lily Evans seemed to have a long and exhausting mental argument with herself in the span of three seconds, before she stepped closer and pulled herself under the cloak as well. James suddenly found himself standing in very close proximity with her, though she seemingly refused to look at him. James blinked slightly, not sure why it was so much easier to focus on her than keeping guard. Maybe it was her eyes - most people who knew her agreed that they were stunning, and James himself could begrudgingly admit as much. Now this close to her, he was also keenly aware that she smelled like papaya. 

“Hello?” Kingsley was moving up and down the corridors, glancing from side to side. “Homenium Revelio…” James bit his lip and suddenly felt Evans grip his shoulder in anticipation. It felt as though a light was shining right on them. But Kingsley did not catch them red-handed as James had expected he would. Evidently, the human detection spell was picking up on two signals. For Kingsley was staring down the corridor, before looking back at the corner where James and Evans were hidden.

“Can you hear me? Speak up! Do you mean me harm, or do you need help?” Kingsley had a deep, reassuring voice, and spoke with the poised composure of a leader. However, James knew him well enough to recognize the slight hesitation in his tone. He was uncertain. A moment later, he seemed to decide upon following the second human signal, re-light his wand with the lumos spell, and proceeded down the corridor. James exchanged a glance with Evans, nodded slightly to her, and the two of them followed. 

As they continued down the twists and turns that the walls of Hogwarts offered, the heat only spiked further. It was almost staggering. The walls on either side of them had smoldered and become charred. Worse still, as the two Gryffindor first years kept on after Kingsley, careful not to make a sound - they began to hear another human’s voice. Not Kingsley, but much softer. Almost like a broken musical instrument. James frowned, straining his ears. It sounded familiar. It sounded like the voice was in distress. 

The three of them rounded the bend one more time, to find what James could only presume was the place or origin for the explosion or loud noise, or whatever event had occurred. A student lay face down on the floor, her robes burned and withered, a circle of charred, black residue surrounding her, and what looked like glowing embers protruding from her back, almost taking the shape of some kind of symbol. It was as though she had been burned, badly. The girl lay on her stomach, shaking in place, whimpering and gasping for breath. 

Two voices cried out at once. Kingsley let out an appropriately shocked gasp of “Merlin’s beard!” But James never heard it. His eardrums had been blasted by the sound beside him, even louder than the original bang. Lily Evans had screamed, and without a moment’s hesitation, dashed forward. Causing James himself to stumble and fall over as he tripped on the cloak, but Evans didn’t pay him any mind. 

_“Lapis!”_ She shouted, rushing to the side of her friend, ignoring Kingsley’s surprise. When Kingsley looked behind him to see James getting to his feet as well, the latter hastily stuffed his Invisibility Cloak into his robes, praying that his Prefect had not seen it. But then, he couldn’t truly focus on that. All any of them could focus on was Lapis Tilandr, and the sorry state she was in. Evans wept freely, cradling Lapis, yelling to Kingsley and James to help her, so they did. 

Half an hour later, James was sitting on the metal railing of one of the Hospital Wing’s empty beds, staring up at the ceiling. Still unable to make sense of it. He and Evans and Kingsley had managed to gingerly carry the Tilandr girl to the Hospital Wing, where James had been reunited with his dorm-mates. That was when they had filled him in - everyone had heard the loud bang, and Professor Dumbledore had called an emergency meeting in the Great Hall for everyone while posting the Heads of House to guard the perimeter of the event’s epicenter. The only students not at the meeting were the three who had found Lapis, and anyone else already in the Hospital Wing, like James’ friends. 

“How did this happen?” Evans was in distress, holding Lapis’ hand and constantly pestering a very patient Madam Pomfrey, who kept gently explaining to the girl that she was trying to work out the answers to all of her questions. Kingsley had left to fetch Professor Dumbledore, and Peter had mostly recovered from his panic attack - but seeing Lapis in the state she was in certainly hadn’t helped. It wasn’t too much later that Frank Longbottom had burst in, white-faced, and bounded his way toward his childhood friend, ignoring Madam Pomfrey’s protests. He, like Evans, simply refused to leave the Ravenclaw girl’s side. 

“This is magic unlike anything I’ve ever seen.” Madam Pomfrey said quietly, more to herself, as she traced her wand in circles over her patient. “I don’t know who or what could have done something like this, but...it was no accident. I believe Miss Tilandr was cursed.” 

Everyone was silent, taking a moment to digest this information. James felt sick inside. He didn’t know Lapis particularly well, but she’d always been polite to him, and she’d struck James as the sort of person who was light enough to float away like a leaf if she was caught by a breeze. It was possible that her blindness had led James to underestimate her, which was definitely his own problem, but Lapis it seemed, had bigger problems for the moment. 

James exchanged a glance with Peter, and looked over at Sirius, who was staring intently at Lapis. It was almost like he was searching his memory to see if he could recall anyone in his family using a curse like this one, probably assuming it was dark magic. James could certainly believe it himself. But even he knew that magic didn’t get much darker than the big three - murder, torture, and mind control. According to Quill, those were the three fundamental goals of dark magic, and they all had different levels of mastery. Could this have been a torture curse? Who on earth could have done this? 

“...Soomin.” 

James looked up quickly, as the voice had barely spoken above a whisper. Now all eyes were on Lapis’ bed. Evans was still holding her hand and gently rocking in place, as Frank stared at her. “What...what was that?” 

“Lapis kept muttering Soomin’s name while we were carrying her.” Evans verified, her tone carrying a cold, quiet type of venom.

With a jolt, James thought back to the journey and suddenly he could hear it too. “Oh no. I...I thought she was saying “human.” He slowly scratched his head, unconsciously messing with his jet-black hair; a habit he’d carried on since childhood. 

Evans shook her head, lifting her head. Her green eyes caught the moonlight from the window, and glittered dangerously. “She said “Soomin.” And if anyone was capable of doing something like...like _this,_ it would be Soomin Crowe. She’s precisely the sort of person to go around using evil curses on innocent students.” 

“Now now, Miss Evans.” Madam Pomfrey seemed to have started laughing nervously. “Let’s ah, let’s not make such hasty accusations. This is a very serious curse that has been used on Miss Tilandr, and to be perfectly candid, she is lucky to be alive. I would advise against pointing the finger at any of your classmates until we have more information about what happened.” 

“Besides,” James found himself interjecting. “If anyone did this, it was Severus Snape.” The moment he’d said it, James wanted to take the words back. Not because he doubted the truth behind them, but because he’d forgotten that Snape’s greatest defender was still in the room, and everyone could tell at once that James had angered her. Frank Longbottom bit his lip and looked aside, occupying himself with stroking Lapis’ hair. 

The others boys tensed up as Evans got to her feet, yet still without leaving Lapis’ side. “Potter, I’ve had just about enough of you treating Severus like dirt. He’s ten times the wizard you’ll ever be.” 

“Studying the Dark Arts doesn’t make for a better wizard. I’d say it makes them the opposite.” James snapped back. “Do you even know who he is? That entire group sneaks off to the Restricted Section all the time. They just want to learn better curses so that when they grow up, they can…” James trailed off. He had crossed a line by accusing Snape, and he knew it. If he spoke the words currently in his mind, it would be another line, one not so easily uncrossed. But he wasn’t wrong, he knew he wasn’t wrong.

“You talk a lot about Severus for someone who doesn’t even know him.” Evans fired back. Her glare was like fire, like sunlight ignited. “All you ever do is pick on him, and you’re shocked that you see his worst side? I know him, Potter. That you even think-” She exhaled slowly, as though trying to calm herself. Another voice, much quieter, chimed in during the pause. 

“For what it’s worth, James...I think she’s right.” It was Frank Longbottom. He finally looked up from his dearest friend to meet James’ eye “Sure, Severus is...a bit abrasive, I don’t deny it, but...I think he’s better than most of his House-mates. None of them would ever give Lily the time of day. Or Lapis, for that matter. He’s her friend too, James.” James felt his posture soften. He didn’t trust Snape, not in a million years...but Longbottom seemed to be speaking in earnest.

“Thank you.” Evans spoke with vindication, nodding to Longbottom as though the matter was closed. “Severus would _never_ do something like this.” 

“Something like what?” A sharp, familiar voice came from the doorway, and everyone turned at once. James heart sank into the pit of his stomach, and he felt the place where it had previously resided fill with loathing like a barrel filling with wine; for it it was two of his three least favorite people (The third being Sirius’ mum) Soomin Crowe, and bloody Snivellus Snape. He was the one who had spoken. James exchanged an angry glance with Sirius, who seemed just as aggravated. 

“Sev!” Lily cried out, swiftly moving over to him, grabbing onto his sleeve and seemingly trying to pull him away from his traveling companion. “Step back, quickly, get over here, and what is _she_ doing with you?!” 

“Nice to see you too, Evans.” Soomin snarled, appearing to relish the Gryffindor girl’s anger, before she redirected her attention to Madam Pomfrey. “So who was it, then? We heard someone was attacked near Gryffindor Tower, and Snape just had to be sure it wasn’t the mudblood, but she’s clearly fine, so-” 

“Now, really!” Madam Pomfrey retaliated, at the exact same time James himself cried out, “Oi!” 

“Miss Crowe, we will not use language like that in the Hospital Wing. I daresay there are too many people here now regardless. Miss Tilandr needs her rest. I’m going to need all of you to leave now, chop chop!” 

James bit his lip, but it was no use arguing with the Hogwarts Healer when she cut off visiting hours. He had to try, however. Throwing a glance back at Peter, who was still sitting in his own Hospital bed across from Lapis. “Madam Pomfrey, my mates and I are here for Peter, strictly speaking, and he’s awake, so technically-

“Out! Now!” She repeated, ushering all of the first years, herding them like livestock. Remus looked at Peter, and they seemed to nod to one another. James knew well that much like he and Sirius were best mates, Remus and Peter more or less functioned in a similar way. Still, the four of them were a team, a family. He didn’t want to leave any of them behind, but all too soon Pomfrey was pushing both him and Sirius toward the door, with Remus following after. Evans was beckoning Snape to follow her. The only person who had not moved was Soomin. 

In fact, as far as James could tell, she’d been frozen in place for almost a full minute. No quips, no snark, no defiance. She wasn’t even looking at Madam Pomfrey. It was like she was in another world. Her eyes darted between Peter and Lapis. Finally, she was moved forcibly, without any resistance on her part. The doors to the Hospital Wing shut firmly, and the seven students were left with nothing but their theories. 

All was quiet for a moment, but Remus was the first to speak, rolling his shoulders and wincing, as though he was in pain. “I forgot to ask her...I need that allergy potion. Be right back.” He returned to the door, and knocked hesitantly. After a moment, the door opened, and though Madam Pomfrey had daggers in her eyes, she softened when she saw that it was Remus, and sure enough she let him in. 

Snape’s brow furrowed. “What’s up with that kid? Does he have some kind of chronic illness? I swear he spends more time there than all the Quidditch teams combined.” 

Fury flared up in James’ heart, for a variety of reasons. Though he would never admit it, least of all to the likes of Snape, the question hung in his mind as well. Remus...was lying to him. And to Peter, to Sirius. Sirius, who now voiced James’ contempt - like always, they were in sync. “Stuff it Snape, it’s not your business. Remus will figure it out.” 

“Oi, back off.” Evans took a step forward. “It was only an observation. Has it occurred to you that you’re not the only ones who might care about Lupin’s health?” 

“Oh, like you know him at all.” Sirius dismissed, turning away and rolling his eyes. James likewise took a step closer, mirroring Evans as he rested a hand on his best mate’s shoulder. 

“How did you do it?” James spoke not to Evans, but to Snape. There was no humor in his tone this time. He’d always known Snape was bad news, but now he felt with absolute certainty that the slimy Slytherin had shown his true colors at last. When Snape glowered back, James pressed on. “Don’t deny it, Snivellus. Whoever cursed Lapis Tilandr sure wasn’t a Gryffindor. We were all in our Tower.” 

“We can rule out Ravenclaw too,” Sirius was nodding. “A Ravenclaw wouldn’t have needed to corner her so far away.” 

Evans was glaring at him, but despite the intensity of her stare making him feel oddly flushed, James directed his attention to the only remaining witness he needed. “What about Hufflepuff?” 

Frank bit his lip, looking nervously between Evans and Snape, before he glanced back at James. “Well...we were all in our Common Room. Most people were studying for exams. I suppose it’s possible that someone was unaccounted for, same for Gryffindor, really, but...in all likelihood…” 

“Exactly.” James finished, triumphant, turning back to Snape. What he had done to the Ravenclaw girl was reprehensible. Far worse than anything he’d done this entire year, and that was saying something. “So it was a Slytherin, which, being honest, we could have guessed from the start.” 

“Evans reckons it was you,” Sirius jerked his head toward Soomin Crowe, who gave a slight start. “And while you _do_ seem like the type...I agree with James. Snape probably couldn’t stand that Lapis was scoring higher on essays or something. It’s the kind of thing he would do. For all we know, he and Crowe planned it together.” 

Soomin said nothing in the face of the accusation. Snape, however, sneered at James and Sirius. “So you think you have it all figured out, do you? How clever of you. I bet you’re so smart, that your brains moved too quickly to know or remember that there’s an easy way to prove my innocence. I’m sure you must have factored that in...oh, did you not?” 

He was bluffing, he had to be. He’d found some kind of cover story, and now he was relishing the chance to pretend James was wrong. That’s all it was. “Priori Incantatem, ever heard of it? Reverse spell effect that catalogues what magic your wand has used...useful tip, huh? But what do I know. I’m just a Slytherin, not brawny nor brainy…” Snape had an insufferable habit, James suddenly noticed, of hitting every word like it was some point of great wisdom. It was not. 

Yet Sirius was cringing, and all at once James felt a twinge of fear. What if Snape had found a way to cover his tracks. “Doesn’t prove anything.” He hurriedly continued. “You could have used someone else’s wand - anyone’s. And you wouldn’t have hung onto it. You’d have tossed it! No, there’s a far simpler way to prove your guilt. You need to drink veritaserum.”

Evans’ anger was suddenly replaced with confusion, and she was not the only one. Sirius, Frank, even Soomin seemed momentarily perplexed. James hadn't expected most of them to know what he was talking about, but unsurprisingly, Snape caught the reference. He laughed, as though it was the funniest joke in the world. “Truth serum? Get over yourself, Potter. Even teachers can’t force us to drink truth serum, so what makes you think _you_ can make me do it? Show me some proof that I’m responsible before you start making demands like that.” 

“That’s enough.” A third voice rasped quietly. James looked around. Soomin Crowe was leaning up against the wall, hugging herself. It was bizarre - James had never seen her look this way...almost like she was in distress. “Would you two just shut your traps? Potter, stop blaming Snape, that’s idiotic. And Severus - stop _enjoying_ Potter’s idiocy. Let’s just head back to our Common Rooms and call it a night. I have to see enough of this lot during the day.” 

“Wait, just a moment, Crowe.” It was Evans. Her rival had started to leave, before stopping in place and rolling her eyes, slowly turning back around. 

“Evans, I am not in the mood.” 

“Too bad. You’re going to listen. I’ve got something to say to you. And to James Potter.” Lily Evans seemed to have discarded her anger, but her tone was firm, and her stance equally so. She was calm, but poised. James watched, and listened. Curiously, the more she spoke, the more interested he became. Normally, he tuned her out, being the Slytherin apologist that she was. But now…

“Soomin, I accept that I have no proof you did this. But I want you to understand that I will not rest until I know who did. And if it wasn’t you? Look, setting aside whatever personal feelings I have, setting aside that we don’t get along, I will apologize for falsely suspecting you. But if it _was_ you? So help me god, I’ll have you expelled. Hell, I’ll have you arrested. Wizards have prison, right?” Evans faltered suddenly, glancing around for help. 

Soomin simply rolled her eyes. “Yes Evans. We have a prison. It’s called Azkaban, and you knew anything about it, you’d never be so frivolous. First of all, empty threat if I’ve ever heard one. We’re twelve. No one is going to listen to you, and no one is going to chuck me in prison. If you weren’t muggle spawn, you’d know that. This is what I’ve been telling you, Evans. You know nothing of our world. You could never understand. There’s more to being a witch than just blood. That’s only step one. If you make it two step two, I’ll be thoroughly surprised. Come on, Severus.” 

Soomin turned to depart, glancing back at her House-mate. James shot a glance at Snape, who hesitated. His eyes moved between two people, what seemed to be two separate ideals and feelings. Finally, he shook his head. “I’ll catch up with you later. Lily and Frank need the support of their friends right now. Oh, and, Soomin?” Snape’s black eyes somehow grew even darker. How did he do that? “Don’t ever call Lily “muggle spawn” again. Or any other rude name. If you do, you might just see how many “steps” I’ve taken.” 

There was a heavy pause, in which Evans moved to one side and embraced the skinny, pale boy that James could still hardly believe she called her best mate. At the same time, Sirius lifted his head, turning in place to mouth at James. “Footsteps.” James strained his ears, glancing down each corridor. Was someone eavesdropping on them? Finally, Soomin sagged in defeat and shook her head, muttering “You’re so whipped…” Before she exited and the group got that much smaller. 

Evans leaned back from Snape, who was glowing like a candle, and seemed to almost have trouble breathing. Evans turned her attention back to James, who once again found himself giving her full attention. She could be obnoxious, sure...but there was something captivating about her passion. “Potter, you need to understand something, sooner rather than later. Slytherin does not mean “evil.” Kingsley’s told me all about their history, but you’re daft if you think each class of first years is somehow responsible for that history.” 

“They’re not.” James conceded. “That’s not the point. They didn’t make the mess, but if they only make it worse, they’re no better. If Slytherins actually wanted to right the wrongs from the past, they wouldn’t go around hexing people of your birth, calling you the “M” word, rallying around people like…” He broke off again. It was a line that could not be uncrossed. 

“Well, I can’t speak to Slytherin House.” Evans admitted. “But I can speak on behalf of my friend. Severus Snape is a good person. He’s clever and caring and I wouldn’t have survived this year without him, you get it? He’s been there for me, even at my darkest times. So has Lapis. They’re my friends. I don’t turn on my friends, and they don’t turn on me. So get that through your head, Potter. So long as you keep bullying him, you and I are going to have a problem.”

Sirius was scowling. “You think your precious Snivellus is any better? You don’t see what he’s like when you’re not around. He bites back, Evans. Not like the puppy you think he is, like a viper. Because that’s what he is.” 

James, however, was focused on something else. Rather, someone else. “You...really do care about them.” It was a strange feeling, and he couldn’t name it. All he could do was trace his emotions, his reasoning. In another second, it hit him. He was impressed. With the obnoxious Slytherin apologist. Her loyalty to her friends was difficult not to respect. By no means did Snape deserve it. James knew that much, but…

“I daresay Miss Evans would lay down her life for her friends, but in light of recent events, I think we should try to keep the casualties at a minimum.” 

A new voice had spoken, not coming from any of the children. James tensed up - Sirius had been right. Someone was spying them. A tall, thin man stepped out of the shadows, blue eyes twinkling behind half-moon spectacles. Oh...James felt his muscles relax. It was only Professor Dumbledore. His dad had told him all about Dumbledore. He’d mentored McGonagall, the greatest witch there was, and he was easily the most brilliant wizard of his time...he was also mad as a hatter, but no one was perfect. The Hogwarts Headmaster was regarding the children before him with a small smile. 

“Sir, we’re sorry, we’re not supposed to out past curfew.” Frank began to babble. “It’s just that, well, James and his friends were the ones who found Lapis, got her to safety - thank you, by the way.” He added, shooting James a sincere look. It was roughly the seventh time he’d expressed his gratitude that night, but James could hardly complain. “I have no excuse for being out of bounds, but I just couldn’t...we couldn’t stand not knowing, and...and…” He broke off, Dumbledore having lifted a hand to indicate silence. 

“Mr. Longbottom, I am aware of how close you are to Miss Tilandr. I understand how difficult this must be for you, for all of you. There shall be no punishment, none at all, for wanting to see one’s friends in their time of need. But now, the five of you really must return to your dormitories. It is late, and you have exams approaching. Rest assured, we are investigating what happened.” 

James traded a glance with Sirius, and he knew they were both thinking the same thing. Remus had not returned from within the Hospital Wing. Could he have fallen asleep there? In particular, Sirius seemed to be gazing at the doors with longing, and James sighed, moving closer to gently grab his shoulder. “Come on mate, he’s fine. He’s got Peter, Pomfrey, and Dumbledore to look after him.” Sirius seemed to relent, as Dumbledore chuckled. 

The five of them proceeded down the corridor, initially in silence. As they were rounding the bend, Evans gave Snape another hug, and he left the group with something of a stumble in his step, taking the pathway to the Slytherin dungeons. Frank Longbottom was staring at the floor. He had been for most of the night. However, when the four remaining students started to walk again, he remained stationary. 

“Frank?” Lily was the first to stop, turning around. “Aren’t we still going the same direction?” 

Frank said nothing for a moment. When he finally spoke, he still had not looked up from the floor, his voice thick. “She got too close, Lily.” 

“Pardon?” Sirius chimed in, frowning. But Frank ignored him. He finally looked up at Evans, with fear in his eyes. 

“She got too close. Whoever Dumbledore is protecting, whatever dangerous figure the school is hiding...they must have cottoned on. Must have realized Lapis was investigating them.” 

Evans’ face had gone white. James looked between both of them, and then over to Sirius for help. But one glance told him that his best mate was as clueless as he was. 

“So you think...the dangerous figure did this? Cursed Lapis...what, to...silence her?” 

“I do. And I think that we saw a glimpse tonight, of what danger they pose in the first place. What if...what if looking into this is why she’s…?” Frank was tearing up now, and Evans moved forward to clasp his hands. 

“We...we don’t know that, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

“Madam Pomfrey didn’t recognize the spell. She said she had never seen any kind of magic like that before. And I know I haven’t. Sirius, James, you two are purebloods, right? You’ve grown up with magic. Did that look familiar to you at all?” 

“What in blazes are you two on about?” Sirius shook his head. “No, I didn’t recognize the spell. I don’t understand any of this. What’s going on? What do you two know that we don’t?”

Evans’ face fell. She seemed to take several moments to consider something. Finally, she looked up and James felt her eyes meet his own. “Normally I’d tell you to mind your own business, but...this just got very serious, and Lapis is in danger. So, I need you to be honest with me. Right here, right now. Can we trust you?” 

James' mouth felt dry. It was almost like he and Lily Evans were carrying on a much longer conversation with just eye contact alone. She was gauging him. Despite everything, he was trying to show that he was genuine. In the background, almost like muffled white noise, James could hear Sirius doubting her, questioning if she and Frank were at all trustworthy either. James considered. He weighed his options. Then he swallowed, and nodded. 

“About this? Of course you can trust me. And Sirius...I think we can trust her too.” 

Sirius shook his head, but offered no further argument as Evans glanced back at Frank. He said nothing, but simply bowed his head in a wordless blessing. Evans turned back to James, who felt a rush of anticipation. “Okay. Then we’ll tell you everything that we know.” 

“About Lapis?” 

“About Project Luna.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, now I bet it makes sense. I could have given the perspective on Lapis' attack to damn near anyone among the leads. I struggled so much, and I always do, with writing scenes that have large groups of characters. I never know what to do with all of them. You can see why I finally cut the introduction of that canon character, especially with everything that was going on. It would have just been too much. 
> 
> But who the hell attacked Lapis, and why? Could it be the "dangerous figure?" Just what IS Project Luna? (I mean, there's a fairly obvious conclusion to draw with that one, but nonetheless.) Can't say for certain who will narrate the next chapter, but it won't be James or Remus, it will be someone we haven't heard from in a bit. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to check out my fic! Please leave your thoughts and opinions! I consume them like a ravenous bat.


	9. Torn Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While following a lead on the incident with Lapis, the First Years make a startling discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have. Been waiting. For this chapter. This one, and the one that comes next, are two that I've been drafting since before I even started publishing this story. They are very important, and that is all that I shall say. 
> 
> Today's chapter is narrated by Peter, and I'll go ahead and tell you that CH10 is almost definitely a Sirius chapter, so that should be fun. Let's dive in!

Anxiety was quite a difficult prison to manage. There was so much room, it seemed, to shudder and sob and thrash about. Yet there was no escaping the box. It went on and on, with no doorway. Peter could not talk his way out of this like Remus might, nor could he fight his way out like James and Sirius. Even sneaking, the way Snape might have done...was fruitless. There was no escaping his own mind. No escape from the dark thoughts that rose up in the back of his head and refused to be dispelled. Taunting and infecting him, making him doubt everything he’d ever known or understood. Even crying for help was never a guarantee. That the help would come was, of course, a gamble...but it was also far from a given that the attempt to ask could even be made. Peter was not always able to speak. When his anxiety flared up, his tongue seemed to fail. 

But there were times that silence was a blessing. 

Peter had said nothing as Albus Dumbledore had entered the Hospital Wing. Tall and regal and so imposing...until he smiled, anyway. One smile from the man relaxed all of Peter’s nerves, and it hadn’t even been a look toward him, but Madam Pomfrey, as they greeted each other. Peter closed his eyes, waited, and opened one eye yet again. Catching the gaze of Remus, sitting in the bed next to him, doing a subtle “Shh” gesture with his finger, before shutting his eyes. Peter followed suit, and the two boys did nothing but listen. 

“Poppy, do you think Lapis and I could have a moment to speak alone?” 

“If you insist. But Professor Dumbledore, you must realize that she is in no fit state to speak? She hasn’t even woken up.” 

“You leave that to me. I am not a Healer, but I’ve learned a few tricks in my day. Perhaps a spell of my own invention, yes...Ennervate.” There was a brief glow of light, and Peter could hear the sound of gasping breath, followed by coughing. Mingled with the sighs of relief from Madam Pomfrey, and the chuckle of Professor Dumbledore. “She will still need to rest, and she may be down for the count for quite a while. But Professors Flitwick, Quill, and McGonagall are studying the curse that was placed on Miss Tilandr as we speak.” 

“Professor, whatever this is, I think it’s very dark magic. This curse, it-it almost killed her.” Pomfrey’s voice was breaking. 

“And without your remarkable abilities and quick thinking, it almost certainly would have done so. The entire school has you to thank for saving her life, Poppy. Please, get some rest. It’s nearly midnight.” Dumbledore assured her gently. “Remember to heal yourself as well.” 

Madam Pomfrey had not offered further argument. After the sound of footsteps faded, Peter could hear what sounded like Professor Dumbledore pulling up a chair beside Lapis’ bed. Then, like musical notes, came the sound of Lapis Tilandr’s voice, though much weaker than it was when she would answer questions in class. “Where...where am I?” 

“You are in the Hospital Wing, Lapis. Some of your classmates discovered you unconscious in a rather terrible state. In particular, Miss Evans and Mr. Longbottom were concerned for your well-being.” 

“Lily. I was...coming to see her.” Lapis dissolved into coughing for a moment. Hard, dry coughs that make Peter’s skin crawl. “I was on my way to Gryffindor Tower, then…” There was a pregnant pause. “...nothing. What happened after that? You said I was found unconscious, sir?” 

“That’s right. I would recommend you do not move around too much, you have sustained severe burns to your back and abdomen, and Madam Pomfrey has only just set the bandages. Someone, it seems, attempted to curse you. There is no doubt in my mind how exhausted you must be, but before I leave you to rest, I implore you to tell me...can you remember anything about the person who attacked you?” 

In spite of himself, Peter’s eyes shot open, just in time to see that Remus’ had as well. They stared at each other in thick anticipation, then-

“...No. No sir, I’m sorry. I simply don’t remember.” 

Peter exhaled in disappointment, perhaps a little too loudly. 

“However...I do know who it was.” The lack of strength in Lapis’ voice made her sound like she was speaking from behind a door, but her tone was sharpening. “I may not recall the culprit, but there’s only one person it could have reasonably been. I don’t have any proof, but…” More coughing. “But I have...testimony.” 

Dumbledore hesitated. His words seemed to carry a hint of surprise. “Testimony? Of what sort, Lapis?” 

There was a beat, and then the shuffling sound of bedsheets. As far as Peter could tell, Lapis was attempting to sit up, even just a little. “If you would, Professor, please take out your wand. I can’t quite reach mine.” Peter could not tell if Professor Dumbledore had complied, but Lapis was continuing. “If you will accept my testimony, then perhaps you will see that the warning I gave you at the start of the year…” more coughing. Lapis fell into a fit, struggling to finish her sentence. “...has...some merit...after all…” 

“Lapis, you are overexerting yourself, I must insist-” 

“Just...take it...please.” 

“Very well. I will accept your testimony, and review it in due course. In the meantime, consider it Headmaster’s orders that you keep out of trouble and leave this matter to the adults. You need to heal.” Despite the words sounding vaguely threatening, the soft echo of Dumbledore’s voice was as calm and sincere as ever. Peter could have sworn that he caught a sense of pity. That Dumbledore felt sorry for Lapis’ condition. Well, everyone did, that was no surprise. 

Peter squinted, as a bright light seemed to suddenly flicker across the room, rather like those muggle flashlights or lava lamps. The light seemed to travel ever-so-slowly through the air, before it disappeared and the darkness reclaimed his eyes. Peter couldn’t be sure, but it had seemed as though Professor Dumbledore had taken light and pocketed it. 

The conversation had been discontinued after that, but like Peter, Remus had overheard everything, and he had also seen the floating light. Whatever Lapis had given to Professor Dumbledore, whatever her “testimony” was...it seemed that she had a guess to her attacker’s identity. Could it be Soomin Crowe? Or Snape, like James had thought? 

Remus was fresh out of ideas as well, but they wasted no time in bringing Sirius and James up to speed, who had in turn updated them in return. Talking of some conspiracy that Lapis and Lily Evans were looking into, within the walls of Hogwarts. Centered around some kind of shady character that the staff were trying to contain and keep secret - someone who was almost certainly responsible for what had been done to Lapis.

Remus grew very quiet at this point. Stared at his shoes. As the other three boys made notes and went over suspects, tossing out potential theories, Remus said nothing. Studying him more closely, Peter noticed that his hands were shaking. When prompted by James to share what he thought of everything, Remus had practically gasped that he didn’t want to dwell on troublesome and uncertain guesses, that all he wanted to do was finish studying for exams. Thereafter, he’d excused himself to go to bed early. 

Peter’s constant companion, the fear in his heart, was only growing stronger by the day. Worse still, because out of all the things he might have expected to frighten him, his own dear friend was not one of them. But he could not lie to himself - Remus was scaring him. In private, Sirius had discussed the matter with James and Peter at length. There was no avoiding it. Remus was lying to them. But, no...he couldn’t be. He wasn’t. Was he? 

Two days following the attack on Lapis Tilandr, exams were starting at long last. Peter was jolted awake by the familiar sound of Sirius’ enchanted alarm, a Christmas gift from James, which was meant to play various songs to awaken the owner. The trouble was, it had become stuck on “God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs” and none of them had been able to make it play anything else. What’s more, it was so loud that it always woke everyone else as well. 

“Oi, shut up.” Sirius groaned, stuffing the alarm under his pillow. “I’m never going to forget this song for as long as I live.” 

“They should play it at your funeral.” James snickered, fitting his glasses on. “God Rest Ye, Merry Sirius.” 

“Better still if they play it on the bagpipes.” Remus chuckled, climbing out of bed. It was a bridge too far, no doubt done on purpose. 

“No!” Sirius roared. “Anything but bagpipes! You take that back!” He lunged at Remus and the two of them fell back onto the bed, breaking out into laughter, soon joined by James and Peter himself, for James rarely missed an opportunity to playfully tackle his friends, and Peter admittedly had a history of following his friends’ example on impulse. The four of them laughed together, struggling not to fall off the bed. For one shining moment, they forgot all the problems and uncertainty. It was wonderful. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

A tapping sound had started while the boys laughed, which only grew more insistent as the sound rivaling it died down. James sat up first, glancing over at the window. A long-eared owl, jet black in color, was clicking his beak against the glass as though his life depended on it. “Hold on mate, we’ll let you in.” Thankfully it was not the Black family owl, James had learned to recognize it. “Let’s see here...alohomora.” 

However, James' attempt to open the window was not quite as successful as he’d aimed. His strong suit was Transfiguration, and as the sound of glass cracking made Peter flinch, he only wished James had asked him to do it instead. Or even just opened the window manually. “Nice going, Potter.” Sirius snickered, standing up and stretching. Peter and Remus followed his example, and the four of them moved to the broken window. 

“He’s still here.” James muttered, sounding as surprised as he did sheepish. “Now that’s dedication. Sorry little friend, I got a bit carried away…” 

“A bit?” Remus teased, and James elbowed him as Sirius moved to open the broken window. 

“Remus, it’s for you.” Sirius’ tone registered surprise as he held out the letter. Biting his lip, Remus quickly moved forward and took it. “Well, go on then.” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Show us the gold?” 

There was a pause that lasted way too long. Peter found himself absently biting his thumbnail as Remus hesitated, before slowly opening the letter and unfurling a roll of parchment. He slowly read aloud, “Mr. Lupin. Concerning your arrangement for this evening, we need you to visit the Whomping Willow later this afternoon. Please come as soon as you finish your final exam for the day. Much appreciated, Madam Pomfrey.” 

Remus lowered the piece of parchment, folded it up again, and crossed the room to shove it in his bag. “There, see?” He spoke in a clipped tone, offering an over-enthusiastic shrug. “Nothing unusual. It’s just about my Mum, you guys know about that.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Sirius did not sound convinced. “Only...how come Madam Pomfrey is involved? Like, what does it have to do with her?” 

Peter himself was wondering this too. As well as why Remus would need to meet her at, of all places, the tree from hell. “The Whomping Willow, too. Why on earth do you have to go there? What if it kills you?” He squeaked.

Remus folded his arms. “Pomfrey...she’s been in contact with my Mum. Y’know, to see if she can help at all. It’s been stressful for all of us. I usually pass by the Willow on my way to Hagrid’s Hut, where the Portkey is. It’s no big deal. I don’t get too close.” 

“But doesn’t Pomfrey have her hands full with figuring out what happened to Lapis?” Sirius mirrored Remus, folding his arms. “I’m sure she wants to help, and I’m glad that she is, but she’s probably too busy right now.” 

“Come to think of it…” James squinted slightly, looking over at the owl, who promptly took off. “is Dumbledore seriously still letting you leave the castle? After what happened? We know that someone dangerous is hiding in the school, and Dumbledore must realize that whatever attempts he’s made to contain them aren’t working, so-”

“I don’t know!” Remus suddenly snapped, jerking away as Sirius had attempted to reach over and touch his shoulder. “They’re teachers, okay? They’re staff. They don’t fill me in on the specifics of why they do what they do. Just drop it alright?” The fallout from his outburst had left nothing but an awkward wound in the room, shared between the four of them. Peter felt sick. 

“I’m...going down to breakfast. I probably won’t see you later. Least, not tonight. Don’t wait up for me.” Remus grabbed his day-robes and went to go change in the bathroom. He did not return. James and Sirius said nothing at first, and Peter didn’t dare speak a word either. Certainly not when the thoughts in his mind would translate to base treachery.

“There’s something wrong with him.” Sirius spoke up finally, holding onto the pole of his four poster and staring out the cracked window, looking distant and forlorn. “There’s something wrong with...with his health. There has to be.” 

“Would explain why he keeps going to the Hospital Wing. Maybe he needs regular treatment. But what’s Hagrid got to do with it? He’s nice, but...a Healer he is not.” James hesitated. “And why wouldn’t Remus just tell us? Does he really think we’d judge him? Evans hardly rejected Lapis, right?” James slumped back into a sitting position on Remus’ four poster. 

“There’s something else, too.” Sirius gulped slightly. “Have you ever seen those scars on his arms? I asked him about them once, and he was pretty adamant that no one had harmed him, but he never explained where they came from...” Sirius trailed off. “What if...what if he’s harming himself?”

Peter shuddered. It was something he had seen before. Before he was verbal, he’d woken to the sound of screaming, and wandered downstairs to see his parents wrestling with each other, blood dripping on the floor and a knife laying across the room. Peter had never once seen them get violent with each other before, and seeing the lines on his father’s wrists in the days afterward, he had eventually understood. Why his father was firmly forbidden from doing the cooking, why his mother refused to be the first to go to bed each night. Why it was almost routine for him to roll up his sleeves when he got home from work and show them to her.

“Why would he do that?” James’ voice echoed in Peter’s head, as he struggled to return to the present. “Why in Merlin’s name would he do something like that?” 

“Don’t know.” Sirius responded quietly. “Why do people kill themselves? It may be a coping thing. And I know it sounds harsh, but... if I could believe it of anyone, it would be him…” 

Peter’s breath caught in his throat like a toad. Should he speak his mind? Did he dare? Or would it be dishonest not to? Ever since Halloween, he’d fought with himself on almost every occasion like this. All he wanted was to make the right choice, but every route available seemed to come with built-in risks. 

James took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Well if he is, we need to do something about it. If there’s some kind of monster lurking just around the corner, it could get one of us next. Especially if we’re looking into this too. The last thing Remus needs is to be his own enemy right now. Between Snape and the dangerous figure - and I’m still convinced they’re the same person, by the by-

“There’s enough danger involved.” Sirius finished, nodding solemnly. 

Despite himself, James was suddenly grinning. “I never said that. A little danger can be fun. But this is serious, and we need to treat it that way.” 

“No, _I’m_ Sirius.” 

“Oh come on, really?” James was laughing now. Peter, on the other hand, was cringing. He couldn’t take it anymore. 

“But he’s lying.” Peter choked out, hugging himself. “Remus, I mean. He says he’s just going to see his mum, but that can’t be true, like you said. So he’s got to be sneaking out or something. Maybe he’s going to the Whomping Willow, maybe it’s some kind of weapon. I dunno, I just...what if Remus doesn’t have to worry about the dangerous figure? What if…” Peter trailed off. The other boys were staring at him with darkening expressions. Be brave, he told himself. Speak your mind, you can do it. Peter gasped again. “Project...Luna? Like, the moon? He’s always sneaking out at night...what if Remus doesn’t need to fear the dangerous figure because...because he _is_ the dangerous figure?” 

James was on his feet at once. “That’s out of order, Peter.” His voice was firm. “That’s not okay. He’s our friend.” 

Likewise, Sirius’ eyes now had a terrifying glint in their darkness. “This is what we’ve come to? We’re turning on each other for something like this? Just look at him, Peter. Every day he seems like he’s a moment away from collapse. Whatever’s going on, he sure as hell isn’t the one running it. You should be ashamed of yourself.” He hissed. 

And indeed, hot shame was now filling Peter’s chest, and he wondered vaguely if the thump of his heart pulsing was really filling him with blood, or more guilt. Tears were stinging his eyes. “I’m sorry. I...I didn’t mean-” He fumbled his words as Sirius turned away from him. James remained facing him, but his expression did not grow any kinder. “I’m not, I’m not trying to accuse him of anything, really! It’s not that. He’s a kid like us, I just worry...if he does have some kind of magical condition, what if it’s a danger to people around him? Or worse, what if someone is using it as a weapon?” Peter’s blood ran cold, as Sirius suddenly looked up. 

“A weapon…” He muttered, glancing over at James, who looked equally chilled. In another moment, it occurred to Peter as well, and he knew that all of them were thinking the same thing. 

“Evans reckons that Dumbledore wants to protect the dangerous figure, the only reason he might do that is if they’re somehow innocent. But if their power was used for evil, by someone else…” 

“Quill always said magic was a weapon.” James continued. “So if somebody is controlling Remus, or...or harvesting his magic somehow, maybe that power was used to attack Lapis?” 

“Doesn’t make sense, though. He was with us, remember?” Sirius was pacing now. With a jolt, Peter realized it was true, and his shame for suspecting Remus in the first place only grew more intense. All-consuming. “The four of us were all in the Common Room. Whoever did this wasn’t using Remus. But something is going on with him, and we need to know more.” 

“We should follow him.” Peter added, desperate to piggyback any attempt to help Remus, out of a mixture of his own guilt, and his eagerness to express to his friends that he wasn’t accusing one of their own. “After exams, we can use the cloak-”

“No.” James’ tone carried a strength that Peter did not dare argue with. “We’re not using the cloak to spy on Remus. That’s too far.” Across from him. Sirius turned in place, and looked as though he was about to protest, but James continued. “It’s a violation of trust, and I’m not doing it. Look, he’s stressed out, he’s upset with us, and we’ve all got exams. We need to let things cool off.” 

Sirius took a step closer to James, their eyes meeting. Peter bit his lip at the sight of how hopeless Sirius looked. “Then what do we do? What can we do to help him? Because I won’t just do nothing, James. I won’t.” 

The leader of their group shook his head. “No, not nothing. That isn’t any better. Here’s what we do. We confront him after exams are over, the three of us. We tell him what we know, what we suspect. Make sure he knows we’re on his side. That we want to help, if he’ll let us.” 

“Ooh!” Peter jumped in place, having remembered something. “An intervention! My Mum once told me about them. She had one when she was a teenager with the rest of her family, because my grandad had a drinking problem. I mean, I don’t know if it’s exactly the same thing, but...close enough, yeah?” 

James nodded, and looked to Sirius. “What do you say?” 

There was a brief pause, before Sirius' face fell, and he shrugged. “Alright, I trust you lot. I just hope it’s enough. Because I more or less tried that a few months ago, on his birthday. It kinda worked? But not really...maybe we need strength in numbers.” 

James moved forward to embrace him. James really did give the best bear hugs, Peter had noticed. “We’ll figure this out. I want to know what’s going on as well, but we can’t go around using the cloak to spy on him. That’s not on.” James hesitated, before pulling back. “Besides, I want to use the cloak for something else.” 

“Like what?” It was a new voice. A girl’s voice. Sirius jumped about three feet, falling onto the floor in surprise, and Peter froze in place before slowly turning around. James hadn’t moved, he’d simply raised his eyebrows. The new arrival was in fact, Lily Evans. 

Peter choked slightly. “What are you doing here? This is, y’know...a boy’s dorm.”

“Right.” Sirius nodded, as Peter extended a hand to help him up. “Care to explain? Cause you were the one eavesdropping, so don’t expect any answers from us. Why are you listening in on the men, huh?” 

Evans rolled her eyes. “If I see any men, I’ll be sure to apologize to them.” There was a sound behind Peter, of James’ voice. It sounded like he was shocked, but it also sounded like he was quietly laughing. Evans directed her attention to him. “Look, I just want to know if your scheme of the day has anything to do with Lapis, and Project Luna. If not, I’ll be glad to get you out of my hair.” 

James stared back at her, before slowly nodding. “It does.” He took a deep breath. “I want to break into Dumbledore’s Office.” 

Peter found himself gasping, and to his left, Sirius whistled. Evans took a step back. “You what?” James meanwhile, lifted his hands in a gesture of peace, before he began to relay what Peter and Remus had shared. About Dumbledore’s visit to Lapis, about her accusing someone unknown, and about the “testimony” she had provided. 

Evans listened with rapt attention. When James had finished speaking, she considered his words for a moment, looking aside. “Alright then. I’m coming with you.” Sirius spoke up to argue, but Evans blew past him. “Look, normally I’d turn you in for something like this, and I could totally still do that, just so we’re clear. But I won’t. Not if you take me with you. This doesn’t mean we’re friends, by the way. I’m doing this for Lapis, and because...as obnoxious and insufferable as you are, I don’t think you had anything to do with it. So count me in.” She stood her ground, hands on her hips. 

Sirius was already looking at James with exasperation. Both he and Peter himself had cottoned on to how James no longer seemed to find Evans the least bit annoying. The day after the incident, all he’d been able to talk about was how “That Evans is really something, isn’t she?” Even Remus had rolled his eyes, and after James had dozed off, Sirius had finally cracked up at the irony of how James had started to fancy Slytherin’s greatest defender. Sure enough, he was smirking back at Evans. “Impressive. But are you sure you want to? Because if you come along, and we find this testimony….I...don’t think you’re going to like what we find.” He hesitated. 

Evans' gaze grew fierce. “It is _not_ Severus, Potter. And when we get that confirmed, you owe him a huge apology, got it?” 

“No promises.” James rolled his eyes. “Come on then, let’s make a plan. Breakfast has probably started already.” 

Ten minutes later, the four Gryffindors made their way down to The Great Hall to grab some toast before they made their way to the first of their exams. The first years had Defense Against the Dark Arts in the morning, and Transfiguration in the afternoon, following lunch. Both were disasters, as Peter discovered very quickly that his ever-present companion, anxiety, truly enjoyed making him miserable during the process of testing. It was any situation where he was under pressure, really. 

Though tempted to sneak a glance at James’ paper, and somewhat sure that James would let him, Peter did not dare risk it with Quill or McGonagall prowling about. Was it his imagination, or were they on edge too? More so than usual? Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe he was picking up on vibes from Remus, who refused to look at any of his friends. Snape didn’t make it any easier either, sitting directly behind Peter both rounds. Of course, none of it compared to the practical examination. 

No hope of reading his neighbor’s paper this time. Or even of getting any help at all. Peter stammered, hesitated, fumbled, and dropped his wand on practically every other instruction. Quill continued to reprimand him, insisting that, were this the real world, he would be dead ten times over. She raised her wand again, and then something remarkable had happened. Sirius had shot her with a knockback jinx from behind. Everyone fell silent, as Quill got to her feet and stared at him. 

Sirius, for his part, looked vaguely surprised at his own choice. But then whatever fear he reflected disappeared, as he stared at Quill. “Works both ways, right? In the real world, people stab you in the back.” 

Everyone waited with baited breath, wondering if Quill was going to shout at him, fail him, turn him into an earthworm...there was no real pattern with her teaching. So it was a relief, but not necessarily a surprise, when she simply smirked. Glancing over at Remus. “Did you catch that, Remus? Mr. Black has just made a very good point. Seems you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” Sirius said nothing, and Quill shrugged. “Slytherin or not, you must have learned a thing or two from your family to think like that.” 

The words were shattering, Peter could tell that much. Quill had not given him failing marks or issued a detention. She hadn’t needed to. She had seemingly known enough to, as muggles would say, go right for the jugular. The exam continued without incident after that, but Sirius was definitely distracted. When they went to lunch, James spent most of it trying to console him. With Peter, and even Remus tuning in now and then. But Sirius kept shrugging them off like he didn’t care - which wasn’t true, Peter could tell. Even Lily Evans approached him to tell him that what Quill had said was way over the line, but Sirius likewise ignored her.

Transfiguration didn’t fare much better. The four Gryffindor boys were all in their own worlds, and the only of them who did not seem to be struggling much was James. McGonagall, who normally praised his work, also seemed to be distracted. She kept returning to her desk to work on writing something, before crossing out what she had written, and seemingly starting over. James was the first to finish, followed by Remus, Evans, and Snape. Peter and Sirius were the last two to leave, and headed out to find James and Evans waiting for them in the corridor. 

“Saw Remus, but he was pretty short with me. Don’t think he wanted to say anything in front of Evans, either.” James muttered tersely. Evans rolled her eyes. 

“You make that sound like my fault. I’ll have you know I like Remus the most out of your little gang. If he’s got some kind of problem, it might just be your fault.” 

“Never mind that.” Sirius’ expression was stony. “I can’t stand waiting, James. I’m going to go after him. There’s someone dangerous on Hogwarts grounds, okay?” He continued, seeing the look on James’ face. “He needs...he needs some kind of backup.” 

“I’ll go, then.” James insisted, but his expression was sincere. “Look, mate...we don’t need to get into the reasons, but...I think I’ve got a more level head about this than you right now. You trust me, right?” 

“Of course I do.” Sirius said at once. “It’s not that, it’s just-” 

“Then let me take care of this. You lot head off to Dumbledore’s office. Should be bustling with how much is going on right now. Take this, and wait for your opening to sneak inside.” James pulled a familiar silvery mass out of his pocket, passing it to Sirius. The two of them exchanged a nod, before James turned to leave. 

“Be careful, okay?” Peter burst out before he could stop himself. “That tree is a nightmare, it’s like it’s alive, and...and…” He trailed off sheepishly, before feeling himself pulled into one of James’ amazing hugs. 

“I’ll be fine. And so will Remus. You’ll see. Let’s meet up at the Hospital Wing after dark and regroup. Hopefully we’ll have enough information to talk to Lapis.” And just like that, James was gone. In another moment, Peter and Sirius had crowded under the Invisibility Cloak with Evans, as they quietly made their way to Dumbledore’s office. 

“Is there any reason we’re not asking Lapis herself?” Evans whispered along their journey. “Because if she’d tell Dumbledore, she’d tell me.” 

“Don’t be so sure.” Sirius shot back. “According to Peter, Lapis warned Dumbledore about this person once before. She ever told you that?” 

Evans flushed, and fell silent. Indeed, the silence continued for quite a while as the three of them rounded the corner and found the entrance to Dumbledore’s office blocked by a guardian that nearly rendered Peter in need of new trousers - a gargoyle. Massive, ugly, and imposing. Peter could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up...if the knights could come to life in this castle, what if the stone creatures could as well? Suddenly, a horrible thought occurred to him. What if a statue had attacked Lapis Tilandr?

Left to stew in his own fears, Peter zoned out for a while, until someone showed up at the Gargoyle, without the apparent attention to simply move on or observe it in passing. It was Professor McGonagall. “Chocolate Cauldrons.” She spoke in a brisk tone, and all at once the Gargoyle sprang to life and jumped aside. Peter whined, but thankfully the movement had obscured the noise. 

“Now!” Sirius hissed in his ear as the three of them struggled to move with silence, yet also punctuality. Dumbledore might have curious taste in passwords, and be an overall quirky person...but the Gargoyle seemed to be an entirely ordinary guardian. He wasn’t about to linger. Hardly able to risk breathing, the three of them stood on the staircase as it moved by itself, leading up into Dumbledore’s office. 

McGonagall stepped inside and the three of them, still clutching the cloak, piled out after her, hoping no noise was made. Peter hid himself in Sirius’ shoulder, hardly daring to look up. McGonagall and Dumbledore were carrying on some sort of conversation, but Peter kept his eyes squeezed shut until Evans whispered, “He’s looking at us. Right at us. Does this cloak work or not?” Sirius frantically shushed her, and Peter could not help but try to listen in. 

“...understand that you believe in second chances, and I’ve always respected it as one of your most admirable traits, but all the same, Albus-”

“I appreciate the compliment, Minerva, but let us not allow personal bias to cloud the facts. As far as I can tell, she is on her first chance, not her second.” 

“She can’t be trusted!” McGonagall’s voice broke slightly. “You do not know her like I do, Albus. Viola Quill would not come here without some sort of plan, and the students of Hogwarts cannot be collateral damage to whatever agenda she-” 

“Are you suggesting that I have not taken her past into consideration? I can assure you that I have. If you are asking me to consider her family, then I must admit I am disappointed in you, Minerva. Of all people, you should know better than to judge others based on blood. I will not entertain any discussion of suspicion based on that topic.” 

“Damn it all, this isn’t about blood! I’ve told you, I mentored the woman, I know what she’s capable of.” 

“As I mentored you. I would never doubt your character, Minerva. In fact, it is precisely because of my faith in you that I do not doubt your former protege. She asked for a job at Hogwarts, one that she is qualified for. I gave her the job, against your advice...but tell me, has she done anything this year, anything at all, to suggest foul play? Without any evidence, I fear that it is you who are being stubborn.” 

“The attack on Miss Tilandr, Albus! We both know what that was, I tell you I’ve seen that kind of magic before, and Viola Quill-” 

“Has had her wand thoroughly searched. It was one of the first conversations we had after the attack took place, Minerva. She accepted that she would be a highly considered suspect, and she freely turned in her wand for inspection. She also offered to testify under veritaserum. Please, open your mind to the possibility that she is not responsible for this mess. The last thing we need at the moment is to fight among our allies.” 

“...I will...choose to trust your judgment. I can only hope your belief in a person’s ability to do the right thing has not blinded you to the reality that they often will not. Good evening, Albus…” Footsteps. The sound of the moving staircase. McGonagall had gone. Dumbledore gave a great sigh, and got to his feet. Striding over to a nearby table, Peter’s breath came in rattled gasps as he observed Dumbledore leaning over a stone basin, which simmered lightly. 

None of the three Gryffindors dared voice any thoughts, reactions, or theories so long as Dumbledore was still in the room. After what seemed to feel like an hour, he finally leaned back from the basin, gave one final glance to the corner of the room where Peter and the others were hiding...and departed the room. At a guess, Peter figured he was retiring to his chambers. After they heard the sound of a door closing, the first years waited a full minute before Evans finally grabbed at the cloak to pull it off. 

“Er, does anyone know if we should do something about the bird?” Sirius glanced between the two of them, and Peter turned in place, gulping as he laid eyes on a large, beautiful creature perched nearby, sporting red and gold feathers. 

Peter bit his lip, staring into the bird’s eyes, as it tilted it’s head. Finally, Peter shrugged. “It’s...I mean, it’s only an animal, right? Just...just keep your distance. We don’t want to make it mad. But it isn't calling for Dumbledore, right?” Peter was normally the type to fear any creature, big or small...but there was something calming about the bird, like he could be trusted. Dumbledore himself had a similar effect on people. 

Meanwhile, Evans did not seem to have taken notice. “Quill.” She murmured in a faraway voice, her eyes looking distant. “We never thought of her, did we? Lapis definitely suspected her of being involved early on, and if McGonagall reckons she is…” 

“I can believe it.” Sirius grunted, kicking the cloak from his feet. “Maybe Lapis’ testimony was an accusation against her.” 

Peter frowned slightly. He was terrified of Quill, but it didn’t quite add up. “Dumbledore said her wand was searched, though. And that she was willing to drink that truth serum thing. If it’s her, she must have a really good alibi.” 

“Only one way to know for sure.” Sirius turned and stared ahead at the basin on the table, which was wafting a strange silver vapor into the air. “Everyone, I think I know what that is. My uncle Alphard has one...called a Pensieve.” 

“Pencil?” Evans frowned slightly, and Sirius shook his head. 

“Pensieve. Place to store memories. I’ll bet Lapis’ testimony was a memory. I’m not really sure how this thing works, but I think if we touch the stuff in the bowl, we can watch the memories. 

Peter did not like the sound of this at all. “What if we get the wrong one? What if Dumbledore overhears?” He gave a glance between the direction Dumbledore had left, and the way out that McGonagall had taken. Slowly biting his fingernails. “Maybe we should just take what we know and call it a win?” 

Sirius clapped his arm supportively. “You can do this, Peter. We can do this. Tell you what, I’ll stand guard. You and Evans just need to dip your heads into the material. That’s how it works, I’m pretty sure. Dumbledore won’t overhear, you’ll be the only ones who can see.” 

This was only getting worse. “Mate, I’ve never put my head underwater before, like, ever. I can’t.” He frantically shook his head, glancing over at the scarlet and gold bird. It remained docile, but would it stay that way if they messed around with Dumbledore’s possessions?

Evans raised an eyebrow. “Would you rather stand guard for Dumbledore?” 

No. He really didn’t want to do that, either. It was a compelling argument, a terrible choice. As much as he did not fear the large bird, the last thing he wanted was to be alone with it. “Fine, fine...I’ll go in. I can do this. You’ll have our backs, won’t you Sirius?” 

His friend gave a chuckle. “Course I will. If things go south, I’ll wrench you out of there faster than a Seeker catching the snitch.” 

It wasn’t much, but it was comforting. Peter shuddered slightly, approaching the basin beside Lily Evans, who exchanged a glance with him. “Are you sure you shouldn’t be going in, Black? You’re the only one who knows anything about this thing.” 

“Doesn’t mean I’m an expert. Evans, not to be rude, but I don’t entirely trust you yet. I don’t want it to be you who we have to depend on. It’s nothing personal.” 

“Excuse me, but I care more about this than any of you.” Evans snapped back hotly. 

“But it was still our plan, remember? You just inserted yourself into it.” 

“Never mind!” Peter wailed softly. “Please stop arguing. Let’s just find Lapis’ testimony and get out of here before Dumbledore comes back.” Sirius and Evans seemed to catch themselves, breaking out of their argument, and a moment later, Peter was standing over the basin with Evans as Sirius looked on. It was slowly forming a faded, glistening picture of...was that a cemetery? Peter gulp. 

“Good luck.” Sirius’ voice seemed to almost be very far away. Peter squeezed his eyes shut. Was he really going to dunk his head? Could he? No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t go through with this, he needed to tell Sirius-

But a moment later, as if having predicted Peter’s hesitation or sensed it in the moment, Sirius made the decision for him. Quickly darting forward to dunk Peter’s face into the basin. Everything, absolutely everything vanished. Right down to the floor beneath his feet. Peter let out of a voiceless scream, so sure that he would die. He was all alone again, just like before, until-

Until he landed, with no injuries or pain. With a thumping sound, Evans landed beside him. 

“Black wasn’t kidding.” She looked around, getting up and dusting herself off. “Watching memories is right. This is like...like an interactive movie. Like we’ve fallen into the pages of a story book or something.” She glanced at Peter, still on the ground. With a sigh, she offered him her hand and helped him up. 

“But if this is Lapis’ memory, then where is…” 

“Kitty cat.” Peter said before he could stop himself. Pointing straight ahead. And indeed, there was a cat wandering between the tombstones. Gray and striped, it was a tabby that bore resemblance to a cat that Peter had seen wandering the halls of Hogwarts before. Evans’ eyes seemed to light up. 

“That’s Graymalkin! That’s Lapis’ cat, I’ve met him before. Come here, honey.” Evans made an odd sound with her lips, as though she was trying to shush the cat, but she seemed to hope that it would instead draw his attention. But Peter’s attention was drawn by something else. 

“Wait, Evans, never mind the cat. Look! She’s over there!” 

Evans looked up to see what Peter was seeing. Sure enough, sitting on one of the graves, holding some kind of long, smooth stick in her hand, was Lapis Tilandr. She was not wearing her glasses, nor her Hogwarts’ robes. But she was sitting by her lonesome. Evans called out to her eagerly. “Lapis! It’s us! It’s me! Can you...can you hear me?” 

Peter shook his head. “It’s a memory. I doubt she can. That is, not unless magic lets us time travel.” 

Evans was frowning. “Either way, why would it bring us here? This has got to be...well, it must be a memory from before we all came to Hogwarts. She was at school for the winter holiday. So...so why is _this_ her testimony?” 

Peter paused, staring at Lapis, having no idea what could be going on. In another moment, he jumped, nearly colliding with Evans, who gave a sharp “Oi!” 

“Sorry, just…” Peter struggled to catch his breath, having spied a dark, disgusting mass on the ground. “Dead...dead bird. Caught me unawares.” 

Evans made a face. “Oh, geez. Well, it’s not really here, so just ignore it...I think it’s a crow.” she muttered, staring at it. Peter however, did not want to look anymore. He occupied himself with looking for Graymalkin. But after a moment or two, the cat hissed and scampered away. Lapis, the one from the past, looked around bewildered, and from her movements, from the unfocused look in her eyes...Peter wasn’t sure, but it seemed as though, glasses or no, this Lapis was already blind. 

Evans suddenly grabbed Peter’s arm, causing him to flinch. A look of shock, of fury, had crossed her face like a deadly storm. “ _Crowe_!” She growled. Peter winced, needing no further reminder of the bird. But wait, no...that wasn’t what she meant. At first it seemed as though Lapis, flinching back, was reacting to Evans’ voice, but that was surely impossible. No, there was a different sound. Footsteps. Frequent, cluttered footsteps. Then came a familiar, raspy tone. 

“No, no! You stay away from me. Stay away! I know what you did.” Evans was right. Soomin Crowe was really here. Or had been here, in the past. Had seemingly stumbled upon Lapis in the cemetery, only to immediately turn hostile, backing away from Lapis, who remained seated, but had nearly fallen over. 

“What I did?” Lapis’ tone was usually sweet, but now it had a harshness to it. “You’re a fine one to talk. Had a chat with auntie, lately?” Soomin took a step back as though she had been stung. A moment later, she seemed to shrug off the pain and once again default to aggression. 

“Don’t come any closer!” Soomin shouted, pointing a shaking finger at Lapis, most likely forgetting in the moment that she could not see this. She was, Peter suddenly noticed...not looking very well. Paler than usual, with a stumble in her step. There were dark circles around her eyes as she hissed at Lapis. “I swear, I’ll get my parents.” 

Lapis scoffed at this, tilting her head to face one side. Peter gulped, and reminded himself that he could not be seen, not even if Lapis had been capable of sight. “Why?” She said finally, her tone no less venomous. “So you can hurt me again?” Peter had never heard her sound this way. It was a side of her that he didn’t know existed. Nor, it was evident, had Evans. She was looking between Lapis and Soomin with increasing confusion, intermingled with pain. 

Soomin wore a similar expression, in fact. She kept squinting and flexing the muscles in her face. Peter had seen his father do this before, and he knew what it meant. Soomin was trying not to cry. “How...how dare you-” She began. 

“I’m not stupid, alright?” Lapis snapped back. “If you don’t want me around, you could have just said so!” 

“I am saying so. And you are stupid!” Soomin folded her arms, scowling at the girl. Peter wondered vaguely if it was affection for Lapis, or her lack of a wand, that had stopped Soomin from resorting to magic by this point.

For her part, Lapis was not attempting to guard her emotions the way Soomin was. A single tear fell down her cheek, before she shook her head, muttering to herself. Finally, she looked up at the direction of Soomin’s voice. “Go stuff it. My dad was right about you.” 

Though Peter kept looking to Evans for help, she was transfixed by the argument before them. Indeed, it seemed to be spiraling out of control, but every time one of the girls mentioned their parents, it was like the energy changed for the worse. Like it only got icier. 

Soomin turned her back on Lapis, evidently deciding that there was little risk of a counter strike at this point. Swaying slightly on the spot, she reached out and grabbed a hold of a nearby tombstone, quietly sulking to herself. “You don’t even have the decency to apologize…” 

“Apologize?!” Lapis exploded, leaning forward and gesturing madly at her own body, as her stick fell over. Peter gulped as it hit him - it was a walking cane. “Why you...look at me! Look at what’s happened to me, you think I’m the one who needs to-” 

“We’re done.” Soomin snapped back, with a murderous look on her face. Her voice, as scratchy as ever, also seemed to be weaker than usual. With a dawning feeling, Peter understood. She was sick. Very sick. “From now on, you leave me alone, got it? Here, and at Hogwarts.” 

Evans was shaking her head, her lip trembling slightly. It was as though she was sharing the dismay, the sense of heartbreak, that reflected Lapis Tilandr’s face. “This is what the past three years are worth to you, huh?” She shut her eyes, slowly rubbing them. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. I gave more effort than you ever could.” Soomin, by the sound of it, was clinging desperately to her decision to cut Lapis out of her life. But even in the heat of the moment, Peter could hear her uncertainty. 

Lapis snorted, and turned to face Soomin’s direction again. “Is that a joke? Do you have any idea how hard it was to hang out with you? Have you ever stopped to look in a mirror and remember just who you are?” Her tone was stone-cold, her expression somehow worse. These words were chosen on purpose, and achieved their intended goal of hurting the recipient. Soomin stared back at Lapis, shaking with pain and anger. At last, she retaliated, no longer with words. 

Much like Sirius had done to Snape at the beginning of the year, Soomin hurled something at Lapis. Some sort of object, perhaps a rock, but Peter could have sworn he’d seen her reach into her robes. The object did not reach Lapis as a target, either because Soomin had aimed poorly, intentionally missed...or maybe it was because something -or someone- invisible had blocked the path. A very familiar voice cried out in pain, startled everyone involved, including Evans.

“Was that...that couldn’t be...Potter?” She whispered, in disbelief. Peter was likewise alarmed, because he knew James’ voice better than Evans, and there was nothing to disbelieve. It had absolutely been his voice. Meanwhile, Lapis and Soomin had both been appropriately started by the intrusion. 

“Who...who said that?” Lapis looked around wildly, just as Soomin did. A moment later, Soomin seemed to decide that rather than figure out the identity of the listener, she would leave to prevent him from listening in any further. Lapis bit her lip, glancing around in concern, before Graymalkin trotted up to her and nudged her ankle, as if to beckon her into leaving. Soomin got to her feet-

And just like that, everything vanished. The entire world around them disappeared into blackness, as Peter felt a force yanking on the back of his hair. Evans yelped at the same time, seemingly having been grabbed as well. The world came back into proportion as Peter fell backward onto the floor of Dumbledore’s office, next to Evans and Sirius. 

“No time,” Sirius whispered quickly. “Grab the cloak now, we have to get out of here, Dumbledore’s awake!” It was only a moment or two later than they’d gotten the Invisibility Cloak over the three of them, and Dumbledore stepped into his office, now wearing a nightgown. He was staring at the perch where the scarlet and gold bird had been. That’s when Peter noticed - the bird had gone. 

Dumbledore’s gaze was fixated on the empty perch, as though he was expecting his familiar to simply reappear like it had never gone anywhere. He waited, so the first years waited. Then, with a flash of bright light that caused Peter to squeak far too loudly, a single red feather slowly descended through the air. Dumbledore lifted his hand and caught it. Studied it. Then he turned in place, and swiftly moved toward the fireplace. 

Drawing his wand in one hand, and reaching over to grab at a nearby urn with the other, Dumbledore was distracted. It was the perfect opportunity to make an escape, yet the three kids were rooted to the spot. Flames spat out of Dumbledore’s wand, gold and orange, engulfing the floo, before Dumbledore took whatever he had withdrawn from the urn and hurled it at the fire. With another flash, the flames gobbled it up eagerly and turned emerald green. Dumbledore then spoke in a voice clear and clean. “Poppy, where is he?” 

Peter nearly fell over in surprise as Madam Pomfrey’s head appeared in the fire. Her hair was disheveled, and she wore an expression of panic. “We can’t find him, Albus! He never turned up at the Hospital Wing after his exams, I even sent him an owl to remind him! Hagrid can’t find him either, and I have no idea if he made it through the Willow or not!” 

“Poppy, Fawkes has just sent me his warning. Listen carefully, because I need to know. Did _you_ deliver a message to him? Or did you ask someone else to send it for you?” 

Peter felt his blood suddenly freeze into ice. Somehow, he knew what Pomfrey was going to say before she did. 

“Well...no, I. No. I was so busy, preparing potions for Miss Tilandr, I just...Viola offered to help, and-” Pomfrey broke off, looking at Dumbledore as though she’d been petrified. “But even if she forgot or something, Remus should still be by The Willow, and he’s not there!” 

Dumbledore’s eyes had glazed over, his face becoming curiously expressionless. “It seems I have made a terrible mistake. You are not to blame for this, Poppy. I am. Gather Fillius, Minerva, and Horace. Cast every protective enchantment you know. We must lock down the grounds before it is too late.” 

With that, Pomfrey’s head vanished from the fire, and Dumblefore stood to his full height, striding forward and departing the office without waiting another moment, leaving Sirius, Evans, and Peter to reel with what they had heard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy oh boy, this ended up having more twists and turns than it did in my original outline, but I just got so into writing that I couldn't stop myself. That's a great feeling, isn't it? When you really have fun with a piece. Now, by all means, tear my work to shreds and ruin my fun with criticisms. I am nothing if not a masochist. 
> 
> Not sure if it was obvious all along, but I've been itching to drop the Lapis/Soomin reveal. Another small one, if you caught it, about the letter Snape found on Quill's desk. Now we know that it was not written by her, but to her. And it's safe to say we know who sent it. 
> 
> Speaking of...Quill! Is acting shady! I refuse to classify or confirm her as a hero or a villain, but she definitely seems to be shaping up to be the antagonist of the next chapter, if nothing else. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, everyone! It means a lot to me!


	10. Full Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With moonrise nearing, the First Years race to rescue Remus from Professor Quill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve come to the end of the first year. And oh boy, this ended up being a long one, not counting stuff that I cut to save for later in the story. Chapter eleven will pick things up for second year, so I suppose we can consider this the end of “Book one” as it were. 
> 
> Like I mentioned before, it’s going to follow Sirius’ perspective. Here’s hoping the gang can save Remus from whatever trouble he’s gotten into...and do it before it’s too late. Tick tock, my friends.

“Remus should still be by The Willow, and he’s not there!” 

The words rung through Sirius head over and over, like the repeating blare of his alarm clock. Over and over again it stuck his brain, each beat flitting between two, no, three different names. Remus. James. And Quill. 

It wasn’t like she had ever been his most favorite Professor. He’d held a begrudging admiration for her fearlessness, and her open support of muggle-borns like Evans. But she was not, nor had she ever pretended to be, a saint. She’d made that more than clear earlier in the day. Perhaps it had been unwise for him to challenge a teacher the way he had - to the point of even raising his wand against her. But Sirius couldn’t help himself...he saw red when people attacked his friends, and Peter...bless him, truly, but watching Quill bully him hadn’t been like watching James clash with Snivellus. Peter didn’t know how to fight back. So Sirius had done it for him. 

For a slight second, he had wondered if Quill would acknowledge his victory over her, if she would continue to play by the rules she had long ago set for her classroom once they were turned against her. If she would respect his courage in standing up to her. And though she had appeared to do so, her words were sharp and laced with poison. There was no way she hadn’t known what she was doing when she responded. Everyone at Hogwarts knew about his home life, his dear mother had seen to that. It...it shouldn’t be as big a surprise as it was, Sirius thought, that Quill had turned out to be dark. Or at least, he was assuming that she was. 

But hers was not the only name bouncing around in his head. There was also James. Oh Merlin, James. How was it that someone could be so totally self-absorbed and yet remain unfailingly selfless at the same time? James remained a marvelous mystery to Sirius, and had ever since that first night in the Dormitory. Sirius had lain awake, grateful for his Sorting, but also dreading the dawn, dreading the moment his mother learned what he had become. Just as she had always claimed he would. On some level, his mother had been right about him, and he’d found that paradoxically frustrating. Or at least he had then. 

But James had been there to give him a pep talk. It was difficult to feel any regret or hesitation when the Sorting Hat had placed him in the same lot as the boy who had, over the course of this year, become more of a brother to him than Regulus could ever hope to be. James had promised him that not only was Gryffindor the best house, (which it was) but that Gryffindors looked out for one another, to say nothing of the Eagles and the Badgers. He had gone on to prove it the next morning, when they’d met Remus after his nightmare.

Remus. 

On and on the bell tolled in Sirius’ head. Striking that name once and again. God rest ye, merry Remus. All of the humility present in Peter, all of the talent present in James...and he was unequivocally, inarguably good. Even Quill had seen it, months ago. How could such a lovely boy be so steeped in uncertainty, hidden behind shadows and secrets? Having grown up surrounded by a culture of pretentious pureblood ideology, Sirius found that there were few things he disliked as much as people who kept secrets. 

And yet, Remus was just different. Sirius had often wondered about what he would be if the Hat had placed him in Slytherin. Would he still have chosen to rebel? Or would he have kept his head down and submitted? Swallowed and repeated the dogma that he so despised? Would he have become a liar, too? Sirius never knew what to make of Remus, because when he looked at him...he didn’t see someone like his mother, or his father, or any of his cousins. In Remus, he saw someone who lied reluctantly. Every time the inconsistencies were approached, Remus grew visibly uncomfortable. It was like he was aching to tell them the truth, but he just couldn’t. 

No. Whatever was going on with him, Sirius trusted Remus. He simply could not doubt him. Not in a million years. Which meant that he probably was the dangerous figure, like Peter had said. Or he knew who it was. And someone else was threatening him or otherwise had a wand to his back. And given what they had just heard, it was almost certainly….

“Quill!” Peter gasped, as soon as Dumbledore had gone out of earshot. “What’s she done? Where is Remus?”

“And what’s he going to the Whomping Willow for?” Evans frowned. “That’s way too dangerous.” 

As if charmed, Sirius began repeating the words he’d often heard, but rarely believed. “He was supposed to be visiting his Mum tonight. But never mind that. We have to follow.” He began to throw the cloak over himself and Peter, but Evans caught his wrist. Sirius promptly scowled at her. “Wasn’t inviting you, but if you’d like to make yourself useful, go and fetch Kingsley.” 

“Pardon me, Black. But just what are you going to do? Have you even got a plan?” Her eyes narrowed. 

Sirius wrenched his wrist free from her grip. “If we had the luxury of having enough time to make one, I bet I would. But as it stands, we need to find James. He’ll know where Remus is.” 

“What if he doesn’t?” Peter’s voice was small and he was chewing on his lip nervously.

Sirius shook his head. “He doesn’t know the note was misleading, does he? Wherever Remus goes, James will follow.” 

“But then they could both be in danger!” Peter shuddered, almost unconsciously leaning against Sirius for support. 

“All the more reason we can’t wait around. Let’s go.” Sirius did not wait for Peter to get under the cloak this time. He didn’t even bother to put it on. He simply sped his way toward the door, with Peter and Evans stumbling after him. Feeling his legs shaking, Sirius broke into more of a run. Too many thoughts were crashing through his head, too many blares of the alarm. He needed to just...not think, anymore. But to act. Now was the time for action. He could hear the others calling after him, but he didn’t care. Moving past the gargoyle and into the corridor, he turned to leave-

Crash. 

There was a collision with a previously unseen force, and Sirius swore from the pain as he found himself on the floor. He’d crumpled against someone tall and imposing, someone hidden in shadow as the windows darkened more and more...at least until the figure cast the wand-lighting charm, and Sirius, if it was somehow possible, felt his heart sinking even further. It might have been made of iron. 

Lucius Malfoy, the slimy Slytherin prefect that Snape worshipped like a hero, tilted his head, his eyes glinting in the wandlight as his lips curled into a sickening smile. “Sirius Black, now what do we have here? Coming out of Professor Dumbledore’s office, now what were you doing there? 

“Maybe I had an appointment.” Sirius snapped. “Maybe I had detention. What’s it to you?” 

“Oh no, you’ll definitely be having detention, Black. But that’s not what you were doing. You see, Professor Dumbledore passed by a few moments ago in a terrible rush, so there’s no pretending that you were going to see him. Were you in his office without permission? Oh yes...detention seems appropriate. I think you’ll be coming with me now.” 

It was at this moment that Peter and Evans caught up to Sirius, pausing to catch their breath. Evans rested her hands on her knees, and Peter stood rooted to the spot, staring ahead at Malfoy in pure terror. Malfoy looked as though he’d just won the Grand Prize Galleon Draw - not that he would need it, his family was even richer than Sirius’ own - as he surveyed the others. “Pettigrew too?” He made a tsking sound with his tongue. “And a little muggle girl lost. This is what happens when we step out of our rightful places, you see. I don’t fancy Gryffindor’s chances at the House Cup after this…” 

“Listen to me.” Evans spoke between pants. “Something’s happened. Another first year has gone missing, and we have reason to believe a teacher-” 

“That will do, child.” Malfoy put a finger to his lips. “No more words, I think, no more pointless lies or excuses, until Professor Slughorn has seen to you. But perhaps...no, he’s much too fond of you to think about this rationally. Professor Quill ought to see things as they are.” 

Sirius leaped to his feet. “Get out of the way, Malfoy.” 

“And whatever you do, stay away from Quill!” Peter added as a frantic warning, as though he’d been waiting for a moment to speak. 

Malfoy spared Peter a semi-curious glance before averting his eyes back to Sirius. “Black, I realize you have a history of turning up your nose at your betters, but this is not your family home. This is the real world, and right now I am in charge.” 

Sirius gave a barking laugh, which only got stronger at the look of shock on the Slytherin Prefect’s face. “What part of being a lapdog to the teachers makes you “in charge?” My family home is scarier than you’ll ever be, Malfoy. Now move, or I’ll show you just how scary they can be.” 

“Black, take it down a notch.” Evans was looking more nervous. “He’s a Prefect, and-” 

“I don’t care about Prefects or rules!” Sirius’ raised his voice, yet somehow he found that he couldn’t stop laughing. Why was that? It was hardly the right time. “I care about Remus and James!” Malfoy opened his mouth, but Sirius was suddenly reminded of the time crunch they were on. Whatever Malfoy had to say just didn’t matter. “ _Rictusempra!_ ” He bellowed, causing Malfoy to double over - before Sirius raced past him. 

He swept down the stairs, neither knowing nor even caring if his companions were in pursuit. Evans was hardly his friend, and Peter...well, he was slow. He wasn’t the best in a fight either. There was no doubting that Sirius cared for him, as he was one of three people that the young wizard could honestly say that he  _ did _ care for, but the other two were in danger and there was no time to wait around.

As he made it to the ground floor of the castle, Sirius could see people moving into the Great Hall. Dinner would be starting. Perhaps his mother would try to send another howler. Perhaps she no longer feared Professor McGonagall. Who knew. Sirius didn’t, nor did he care. He continued his journey toward the grounds, ignoring the angry yelling of the caretaker. Bursting his way through the front doors, Sirius didn't really know where he was going. He didn’t have any leads. His feet led him, almost instinctively, in the direction of the Whomping Willow. He wasn’t sure why, either, as Pomfrey had specified that Remus was not there. 

Yet, apparently, he was supposed to be. Whatever the reason or justification, Sirius had heard with his own two ears that Remus was meant to be at the Willow tonight. Which meant that it was as good a place as any to search for a lead. And what a lead he found.

A young man lay unconscious, sprawled on the grass, in the shadow of the Willow’s branches. His robes twisted, his glasses askew, his hair looking like some kind of bird’s nest. The Willow was docile, either unaware of the boy or not deeming him to be a threat. Of course, when Sirius took notice of the boy, the Whomping Willow sprung to life. For Sirius had, most foolishly, hollered “James!” at the top of his lungs and gone tearing after his best mate. Which led to a battle of wits between himself and the tree. Sirius was keenly aware that one blow would probably knock him out as well, so he had to guess the Willow’s movements and be quick enough to dodge. He’d never played Quidditch, and his mind was on other things, so it was a tricky sort of game. In the end, he settled on cheating. 

“ _ Incendio! _ ” Sirius bellowed as a thick branch came hurtling straight for him. Fire spat from Sirius’ wand and stuck to the Willow like glue. Spreading along the branches as they bumped together. Sirius cringed slightly as a strange, blood-curdling sound seemed to reverberate from The Willow’s trunk. Like a muffled scream of pain. No time to consider the implications, no moment to pause and feel guilt. Sirius grabbed James, draped him over his shoulders, and took off before the Willow could recover - or burn itself up. Whichever it was, Sirius didn’t care. Remus wasn’t there, after all.

“Blimey lad, what are yeh doin? Get away from tha’ tree! How’d the ruddy thing catch fire?” A gigantic man was lumbering toward Sirius, a man who he had once feared like a monster under his bed. A man who he had no means to outrun with James in tow. But ten months at Hogwarts had taught Sirius that however ferocious and wild Rubeus Hagrid might have looked, the man wouldn’t hurt a fly. “Sirius Black, well I’ll be a Porlock’s mare, why’d yeh come all the way out ‘ere? If it’s about young Remus, yer not s’posed to know about his trips home, so I’ll need yeh to-” Hagrid broke off, as it seemed to dawn on him what state James was in. 

“Remus is missing!” Sirius gasped, nearly buckling under James’ weight. At least it wasn’t Peter - James was heavy, but weighed about the same as Sirius himself. “Pomfrey and the teachers can’t find him. Did he already come down here? Hagrid, please-” Sirius slowly collapsed onto the grass as Hagrid leaned forward to scoop James from him, looking quite alarmed. At that same moment, Sirius could hear people calling his name. 

Looking up, he could see Peter and Evans in the distance, making their way to join the crowd. Hagrid looked around nervously. “Hold on now, yeh know about Remus? An what’s happened ter young James?” He slowly set Sirius’s best mate back down on the grass. Withdrawing a pink umbrella from his coat. “Dumbledore may have taught me a spell ‘ere n there...don’t you lot go letting on,” He added, gesturing at Sirius as he was joined by the other Gryffindors. “ _ Ennervate! _ ” 

Nothing happened. Sirius bit his lip. James wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be. There was no way he was dead. Because if he was...Merlin’s beard, Sirius didn’t know if he’d even want to come back to Hogwarts. What would be the point? James had to be okay. He had to be alive. After all, it would be very rude to punch a corpse, and Sirius was at the point of being ready to punch James for endangering himself. 

Hagrid frowned, looking slightly nervous as well. “Er, lemmee just give it one more go.” He pointed the umbrella again, appearing to mutter to himself. Or was he talking to the umbrella? “Come on now, yeh can do it…. _ Ennervate! _ ” 

Hagrid and Sirius gave cries of relief a moment later, as James shuddered and abruptly shot up into a sitting position. “Quill!” He panted, like he’d been flying in a marathon. He fell back over again, but Sirius jerked his arm forward to catch James’ head and neck, as the latter seemed to be catching his breath. Hagrid, meanwhile, busied himself with aiming his umbrella at the still-burning Willow. A moment later, a jet of water shot from the tip, as the children listened in to James’ report.

“Potter, what happened? I thought you were going to stay with Remus.” Evans’ eyes had filled with concern. Blimey, James had been right - they were very expressive. 

“F-followed him. Stayed on his trail, but then-he...he went right to the Whomping Willow. Quill was waiting for him. I didn’t hear everything, but Remus could tell something was off. I think he asked why she was there and she just avoided the question. She kept trying to get him to go with her.” 

“Go where?” Peter’s teeth were chattering. James shook his head. 

“Don’t know. Remus wouldn’t take the bait. He tried to leave, but when he turned his back...I think, I think it was the stunning spell. It was a red light that she cast, and it knocked him out cold.” 

Sirius felt his blood run hot. All of his suspicions, his fears and nightmares, were starting to come true. He was both vindicated and terrified at once. Was it possible to feel two extremes in one mood, for the exact same reason? Was such a paradox ordinary? Sirius could say nothing, he could not speak or even think in conscious words. There was only emotion. Raw fear. Unbridled rage. 

“She tried to pick him up. But that was when I caught up to them. To be specific, I er...I may have tackled her.” Despite everything, James smirked. “But she got the better of me not long after. I disarmed her, but she picked up Remus’ wand and...bloody hell, she must have stunned me too. There’s nothing after that.” 

Hagrid was shaking his head, looking as though he’d been delivered the news of someone’s death. But no. That could not be. That was not allowed to be. No one was dead. Remus would be okay. As the sun set further into the clouds, Sirius could likewise feel the glimmer of hope in his heart darkening. But he had defied reason before. He wouldn’t be a Gryffindor otherwise. They would rescue Remus, and send Quill packing. 

“So she  _ is _ behind this.” Evans exhaled slowly. “What if she cursed Lapis, too?” 

“No, no, that can’t be. Yeh must be mistaken.” Was all that Hagrid seemed able to repeat, half to himself. 

Peter practically clung to James, as though sharing Sirius’ worry that he might faint again. “Maybe she instructed someone else to hurt Lapis? Dumbledore said her wand was clear.” 

“Yeah, someone else. Like Soomin Crowe.” Evans growled quietly. 

“Or Snape.” James added, earning a glare from the girl standing over him. 

“Could be Lucius Malfoy, too.” Peter chimed in. “He tried to stop us from getting down here.” 

“No, no, yer all wrong. Quill’s a Professor. Dumbledore wouldn’t have brought her on if she weren’t capable n true.” Hagrid glanced between the kids and the direction behind him, which Sirius supposed probably led to his hut. “Listen, yer going to need to wait in me house for a bit. Got some business to attend to before nightfall. Got to make sure we clear up this here misunderstanding and find Remus.” 

“It’s not a misunderstanding!” James and Sirius exploded at the same time, reminding everyone present once again of how in sync they were. James had evidently recovered enough energy to stand, for he then leaped to his feet, continuing. “We have to find him. Come on, Quill can’t have gotten far. Apparating doesn’t work at Hogwarts.” 

“Wait just a minute here, yeh can’t go looking for trouble like that!” Hagrid’s tone grew more and more panicked. 

“He’s right. Maybe we should wait for the teachers to figure this out.” Evans' tone was one of uncertainty. Sirius almost got the sense that part of her badly wanted to help look as well. But whatever she chose to do, Sirius knew his path was crystal clear. He ignored Hagrid and Evans, pulling James and Peter into a huddle to form a quick plan. 

“Okay, should we search the Forest? It’s probably the easiest way to make a getaway. You don’t think she’d take the path to Hogsmeade, do you?” 

“Hey now!” Hagrid seemed to grow more panicked. “What did I jus’ say? Yeh need to wait in me Hut while the staff secures The Willow for-” Hagrid stopped talking abruptly and though much of his face was covered in hair, his cheeks had grown noticeably pink. The three boys looked at each other, and Sirius realized they had all caught his mistake. 

“What’s so special about The Willow? Remus isn’t there.” Peter wondered aloud. 

“Why’d you ever plant that thing to begin with?” Evans added, making a face as she stared off at the wildhearted tree. 

Hagrid was growing more flustered by the minute. “Now, thas’ not any of your concern, yeh see? Go back to me hut. I’m no Professor but I’m still the grown-up here, and yeh need to do as I tell yeh-hey! Sirius, stand back!” 

But Sirius did not obey. “James?” He called out, taking a chance. Risking step by tiny step closer, prepared to deal with another temper tantrum. “Where exactly was Quill standing?” 

James frowned, starting to follow Sirius. Peter waddled soon after. “It was just...here.” He grabbed their hands and pulled them closer. The Whomping Willow quivered and shuddered, but offered no resistance. Perhaps it was still weakened from Sirius’ earlier assault. Hagrid was calling after them, and Evans seemed to be standing at a crossroads in her decision, but the three boys had made up their minds. 

“Wait, what’s that?” Peter pointed, and in another moment, Sirius saw it too. An opening hidden between the branches, the ground sloping downward and disappearing into a dark entrance. Peter grabbed onto Sirius’ arm. “This is just like a muggle story my mum used to read to me. A girl followed a rabbit down a secret passage! Do you think Quill could have taken Remus through there?”

Sirius exchanged a glance with James. “There’s only one way to find out.”

James jerked his head back at Evans. “Are you coming?” 

Evans looked started as Hagrid tried to intercut. “Now wait just a mo, yeh can’t go down there! Yer not even s’posed ter know-” He broke off again, and sighed. “Look, I’m too big, see? I can’t go in after yeh to keep yeh safe. The staff have already gone ahead, what yeh need to do now is lay low.” 

Evans glanced between Hagrid and the boys. “Well...if, if the teachers are already after Remus, I don’t see how we’re going to make a difference. Maybe it is better if we stay back and keep ourselves safe from-oh, why do I even bother?” None of the boys had waited for her to finish her thought. Sirius had gone tearing off into the secret passage, followed closely by James and Peter. 

“I never knew this was here. Do you reckon Remus knew?” James whispered to him, and Sirius shook his head. 

“Don’t know. But Quill must have.” 

Peter choked slightly. “On Halloween night, she told him not to respond to mysterious summons unless...unless they were sent by a staff member....” 

The passage was only growing darker, as were Sirius’ hopes. But he refused to entertain any possibility but victory. He planned for success. As if in defiance of his increasing desperation, he used the wand-lighting charm to illuminate Peter’s frightened face. “You think she’s been planning this since October?” 

James frowned. “Why wait this long? Why...why is she even doing this? What’s she getting out of it?” 

“Shh!” Sirius grabbed hold of James, who likewise grabbed onto Peter, and the three of them moved in sync, ducking downward. Now instead of walking, they began to crawl. “I can hear voices.” Sirius hissed. It was too far away to make out what was being said or who the voices belonged to. They were thick and muffled. But perhaps if they made it just a bit further. 

“There’s a ladder. I think we’re at the end of this tunnel…” James whispered in response. Lifting his own wand and lighting it as well, he glanced upward. “A trapdoor as well. Put the light out but keep your wands ready... _ nox. _ ” They were suddenly surrounded by the darkness again. With an agonizingly slow pace, they lifted the trapdoor up and squeezed their way through one by one. Peter took a bit more effort to get through, but by the time he had, Sirius had begun to listen more closely. The voices were clearer now. 

“...in here. She’s barricaded the door.” The first voice was clipped and impatient.

“Our combined forces ought to break through her magic, wouldn’t you say?” The second voice was higher, almost in a squeak.”

Sirius strained his ears, talking in a whisper. “It’s McGonagall, and Flitwick I think. Get under the cloak, they’re upstairs.” In another moment, Sirius had tugged the Invisibility Cloak from his inner pocket and thrown it over James and Peter. Carefully, they moved toward the stairs. Each step was risky, but a risk they had to take. Ascending the staircase, the voices became more pronounced. 

“...cannot afford a direct assault so long as she has the boy. I am not interested in friendly fire.” 

The conversation was then interrupted by a third party, and from how blurred her voice was, it was clear that she was in another room. “Then I would recommend retreat, Minerva. You’re disrupting my concentration.” Sirius could barely make out what the third voice was saying, but there was no mistaking it’s owner. 

“Quill.” James hissed behind him. “She’s got Remus, we have to stop her.” 

“What can we do?” Came Peter’s panicked breath on his other side. “You heard McGonagall. If we attack, she could hurt him!” Did it count as a wail if he was whispering? Peter had a tendency to blubber, but Sirius couldn’t focus on that for the moment. Squeezing his shoulder, he shushed both of his friends one more time. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Viola? Stop this madness and open the door!” Flitwick almost sounded hurt. Reproachful. 

“We are not going to negotiate. You only make matters worse for yourself.” McGonagall, on the other hand, carried a tone that matched the anger bubbling in Sirius’ chest. She was not going to play nice like Flitwick might. Despite everything else going on, Sirius appreciated that. James was right - McGonagall was easily the greatest teacher at the school. “ _ Whatever Quill does to Remus, I’ll repay her in kind. _ ” he thought savagely. 

“I’ve no interest in negotiation either. This is not a ransom, Minerva. This is a rescue.” 

Silence fell. Sirius felt himself growing light-headed before remembering that he needed to breathe. It seemed as though the teachers were just as confused by these words as he was. Approaching the top of the staircase, Sirius could make out the shorter Flitwick and his perplexed expression. “Is she...is she mad?” Peter exhaled beside him. 

McGonagall seemed to take a moment to collect herself. She took a deep breath. “...Fillus?” 

“Yes, Minerva?” 

“Break it down.” 

Flitwick looked alarmed. “But you said-” 

“I believe she’s trying to apparate. We cannot dawdle.” Sirius watched McGonagall ready her wand. He could feel James squeezing his wrist. 

“Trying…?” Flitwick mouthed, more to himself than anything. But he did not offer any further argument. Brandishing his wand as well, the two Professors quickly got into sync. It was lucky that the subsequent explosion was a loud one, else they might have heard Peter scream when it happened. Flitwick and McGonagall’s magic had not, strictly speaking, broken down the door. It had blasted a gaping chasm in the wall - there was no door left to speak of. 

The Professors moved into the room and at a slightly brisker pace, the young Gryffindors pursued them, still covered by the cloak. Within the room, Sirius sensed movement on his left side. Peter had covered his mouth, probably anticipating that he would once again make audible sounds. James, like Sirius himself, had gritted teeth. The room they found themselves in had a large four-poster bed. Upon which Remus was sprawled. He was bound in ropes, and he was not stirring.

Sirius felt his grip on his wand tighten. He was asleep and nothing more. That was all that was permitted. Nothing worse than that. He would be perfectly alright, and to those who had put him through this, there would be hell to pay...there, much too close to the bed in a simple wooden chair, sat Professor Quill. She had her wand trained on the unconscious Remus, and a fierce gaze trained upon Flitwick and McGonagall. 

“I would hope you know better than to come any closer.” Quill’s tone was practically a snarl. 

Flitwick however, did in fact choose that moment to take a step closer. Lifting both of his hands in a gesture of defense, his gaze carried none of the venom that the staredown between the two other Professors carried. He might have been in a different world altogether. “Perhaps we should all try to calm down.” Flitwick offered, glancing between them. “There is no need to involve hostages, Viola. We can work this out. What is it that you actually want?”

“I have what I want.” Quill said simply. “Now leave me alone. Turn around and go back to Hogwarts.” 

Sirius made a sudden motion with his arm. Pure instinct, pure emotion. He had moved to point his wand at Quill, but James had caught his wrist again. “Sirius, no,  _ don’t _ ” He hissed. For the briefest moment, Quill’s eyes averted to the spot where the boys were standing. Had she heard them? Seen the cloak flicker? 

McGonagall stood her ground. It was clear she had no intention of leaving Remus behind, any more than the young Gryffindors did. “You are outnumbered. What will you do when Horace and Pomona or join us? Or Professor Dumbledore? You cannot hope to attain victory in this situation. Release your hostage.” It was a stern, no-nonsense kind of tone. The one that commanded fear and respect from all of her classes. 

Quill’s hand twitched slightly. Her nostrils flared. “Remus. Is not. A hostage.” Violet sparks suddenly shot out of her wand, which was still aiming in Remus’ general direction. Quill jerked it back, looking momentarily frightened, before she regained herself. “However...if that’s truly what you think this is, then I fail to understand why you’re acting like  _ I’m _ the one facing defeat. If I hold a “hostage” then I do believe I am the one in control of the conversation. And I say it’s over - now!” 

Sirius felt himself being yanked down to the floor. Quill had suddenly pushed Remus so that he fell behind the bed, and aimed her wand at McGonagall and Flitwick. James had thankfully had the foresight to pull himself, Peter, and Sirius, into a crawling position. Repositioning the cloak, they huddled together as the three Professors dueled. 

“ _ Stupefy! _ ” Quill bellowed, and something went flying past them before crumpling against the wall. Peter cringed and hid his face in Sirius’ neck. A moment later, Sirius realized that the flying thing...had been Professor Flitwick. He had been stunned, knocked out.

James bit his lip. “Flitwick’s down...okay, maybe you’re right.” He whispered to Sirius. “Maybe we do need to get involved.” 

“Are you sure about this?” Peter lifted his head. “McGonagall said other Professors were coming, right?” 

“So, where are they?” Sirius found himself hissing with way too much anger toward a person who didn’t deserve any of it. He mumbled an apology a moment later. But he was confused. He didn’t understand what was going on. Why there was a house hidden inside a tree, why Quill had gone over to the dark side...and what in Merlin’s name Remus had to do with any of it. 

“Stand down, Minerva.” Quill’s voice rang out, and Sirius realized that the spellwork had halted. “You don’t think I can take you out as well?” 

“I think Fillius, for all his mastery of magic, was taking things easy on you. I shall not be so kind.” 

“You’ve never been kind.” The words sent a curious shiver down Sirius’ spine. Quill’s tone carried a sense of bitterness that was...surprisingly familiar. Hadn’t she been McGonagall’s pupil, once upon a time? Well, all of them were, but somehow he’d gotten the sense that it was deeper than that. For some reason, Sirius found himself thinking of home. Of his brother, and his Mum. 

For her part, McGonagall ignored the jab. “I also think he did not know your style as I do. I could sit down before the fact and draw up a list, predicting every single move you make in this bout.” 

“Would you bet your life on that? Just how far are you prepared to go?” Quill’s eyes flashed. Sirius shifted in place slightly, trying to get a better look at her. Was it his imagination, or had they changed color, just for a second? “I am not a child anymore.” 

“Which is why you are no longer my top priority.” McGonagall had not lowered her wand. Her expression was no less stern, but it seemed to hold traces of something else. Regret, perhaps? “You must release the boy, right now. You and I will collect Fillius and return to the castle. From there we can discuss what is to be done with you. But Mr Lupin…” McGonagall suddenly hesitated. “Mr Lupin...will be remaining here.” 

Of all the things she could have said, Sirius had not expected this and it was clear that Quill had not either. She blinked twice, as though she’d misheard, and beside him Sirius could hear Peter’s labored breathing. “Yes, yes. Do that. Please. Go with her. Come on, go with her.” He seemed to be praying, and Sirius could understand why. If Quill and McGonagall left, the three of them could rescue Remus...but it wasn’t like McGonagall was privy to that plan. What was she playing at?

“Leave him here?” Quill repeated. Her tone laced with indignation. “Why, so he can freeze to death?” 

“I would be a fool to trust you in his presence a moment longer.” McGonagall continued, though even as she spoke...she didn’t sound very certain. “As I said, the staff will be along in time. They shall collect him then. But how am I to know you won’t try to escape with him on the journey back to the castle?” 

“ _....She’s lying. _ ” Sirius suddenly realized, his own thoughts alarming him. He thought of all people, McGonagall could be trusted. James in particular would never hear a word against her. But whatever she was saying, her heart was not in it. 

Quill leveled her wand. “Neither of us are going back to that accused school ever again. Just what trickery is…” She broke off. Her gaze had shifted to look directly at the three boys. Sirius felt his heart stop. Could she see their feet? Or was she using some sort of other magic to sense their presence? A shiver went down his spine as he recalled the rumors that she could read people’s thoughts...

There was no opportunity to find out. Quill acted like lightning. Jerking her wand forward and flinging McGonagall back like she’d been punched. Quill then aimed her wand, not at her old mentor, but at the floor beneath her. Grabbing Remus and pulling him closer, she fired a curse that hit it’s target with a bang. Quill and Remus then seemed to disappear into the floor. No, that wasn’t right. There was a huge, gaping hole, still singed, in the center of the floor. From downstairs, Sirius could hear another bang. Mcgonagall leaped to her feet and without a moment’s hesitation, jumped through the hole in the floor. 

Sirius did not wait. He followed suit. Throwing the cloak off and moving toward the hole in the floor. “Wait for me!” James gasped, scrambling to his feet. The two of them made the jump, finding themselves back in the sitting room, with another huge hole leading outside, to wherever it was that they were. Would it still be at Hogwarts? Only one way to find out. 

There was a slight delay, as Peter was too afraid to jump, so instead he raced down the staircase. Throwing the Invisibility Cloak over themselves again, the three boys moved outside into the front yard. Like before, Quill was facing off against McGonagall, Remus laying by her side. Still bound and asleep. The sky had lost a lot of light since Sirius had last seen it, the sun disappearing behind the mountaintops in the distance. 

For her part, McGonagall seemed to have noticed this too. She kept shooting furtive glances upward. Taking deep breaths, she kept her wand arm steady. “Viola, listen to me, because there isn’t much time.” 

“You really thought I wouldn’t figure it out?” Quill was starting to laugh now. An odd, twisted sort of laugh that almost sounded painful. “Did you think you could keep it from me? What, did Dumbledore have this entire house built to make it work? I’m guessing that’s why the floo wasn’t working…” 

“There...there are enchantments on the Shack, yes. To prevent anyone from entering or leaving. Spells that prevent the creation of Portkeys, or the use of Apparation.” McGonagall’s posture grew more stiff. “Not that we’d need such precautions for your sake, but…” 

“You really thought I’d take the chance of splinching? That I’d risk his health like that?” Quill scowled, and made a gesture with her wand. “No, I’ll find the nearest Inn, perhaps the Three Broomsticks, and see my way out with the Floo.” Sirius’ gaze moved behind Quill and for the first time, it occurred to him where they must be. Hogsmeade Village. 

“You can go.” McGonagall said simply. “But not with the boy.” 

Quill hesitated. For a moment, she looked pained. But then she leveled her wand. “Return to the castle, Minerva. Tell them I escaped, that you did your best, whatever you like. But if you don’t stop pursuing me, they’ll find your body buried in the wreckage of this old house.”

McGonagall almost seemed to sag. “Viola...threats aren’t your style. Neither is kidnapping. What has gotten into you?” 

Quill’s lip trembled for a moment, but before she could respond, James had stiffened and elbowed Sirius. Mouthing for him to look at Remus. It then became clear why - he was stirring. Starting to wake up. Sirius felt his heart skip a beat. So many emotions crashed into him like waves. He wanted to run to Remus, to scoop him up and rescue him, take him back to Gryffindor Tower with the others. But what frustrated him more than anything was how little this actually changed. They still couldn’t reveal themselves without risking Remus’ safety. Not to mention expulsion. 

“Where...where am I? What’s going on?” The exhausted, terrified voice of Remus Lupin went through Sirius like a shard of ice. 

Quill spared him a glance but kept her wand aimed at McGonagall. “Sit right, Remus. This will all be over soon.” But Remus did not sit tight. He rolled over in place, starting to panic. But then, Sirius would likely have done the same if he’d woken up bound in ropes. 

“Oh no... _ no! _ No, what are you doing?” His breathing picked up pace, and his head kept jerking around. Like McGonagall, he was stealing glances at the setting sun, the parting clouds. 

“Do not fear, Mr. Lupin. We will not allow her to take you any further.” McGonagall soothed, but Quill cut in immediately after her. 

“Don’t listen to her.” She hesitated, and bowed her head slightly as she spoke to him. Her tone taking on that same softness she’d always had with him in class. “You and I have a lot to talk about. But that will have to wait.” 

The two Professors’ attempts to console Remus proved ineffective. If anything, he only seemed to grow more distressed. “No, this can’t be happening! This can’t happen. You have to take me back!” Sirius felt his jaw tighten as he realized that his teeth were clenched. He couldn’t help it. Remus’ increasing agitation seemed to be contagious. 

Quill winced slightly. “Hogwarts is not safe for you. I’m going to-’

“No! The Shack!” Remus almost screamed, causing Peter to flinch next to Sirius under the cloak. “You need to take me back to the Shack!  _ Please! _ Please, I’ll do anything!” Sirius blood seemed to be growing colder, little by little. He had never heard Remus get this upset before.

McGonagall also appeared to be affected by this. Like Sirius, she seemed to be reaching the same point of anxiety. “Stay strong, Mr. Lupin!” She called out, before taking two steps closer. Her volume dropped, but her tone grew more urgent. “Viola, we don’t have time to argue-” 

“ _ NO! _ ” 

The scream pierced the air, causing Peter to fall over. Sirius and James did their best to help him up without exposing themselves. Though the light of day was fading faster and faster. Sirius glanced up, half-wondering if it had been Remus who’d yelled. No, it was Quill. She was shaking in place, looking impossibly angry. 

“No.” She snarled. “This. Ends. Now. I’ll die before I let him go, do you hear me? I’ll take you with me! I’ll burn this whole damn village to the ground! Do not tempt me, Minerva! Not on this!” 

Quill then did something very strange. Raising her wand, she stretched her arm up to the sky, and then jerked it downward much more quickly. She did this again, several times, almost giving the impression that she was air-drying her wand. McGonagall stared at her, with an expression that reflected the bewilderment that Sirius felt. “Okay, she’s definitely gone mad.” James whispered. 

But a moment later, McGonagall blinked. As if she’d received some kind of telepathic message, she seemed to instantly understand. “Viola, no! You can’t control it-” 

“ _ Animus Oblatio! _ ” 

Remus had started to weep. It was a horrible sound. A strange mixture of anger and pity was coalescing in Sirius’ chest. Meanwhile, Quill continued to mutter indiscernible words, some kind of incantation. McGonagall raised her own wand and, with Quill still not producing any kind of attack, took her shot. 

But no sooner than she had fired the stunning spell than it had bounced off the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Hitting a nearby tree. Sirius’ eyes widened under the cloak. That’s when he saw it - Quill was holding a second wand in her free hand, casting a shield charm. He’d never heard of anyone dual-wielding wands. The briefest moment of being impressed was quickly overshadowed by anger once again, as he recognized the wand. It belonged to Remus. 

On and on it went, McGonagall attempting to shut Quill down as she deflected the attacks. All the while continuing these strange, erratic motions with her other arm. Now it looked like she was trying to catch flies. The movements were sharp and exact. But she had yet to produce any magic. What was she playing at? 

“Viola, dont-!”

_ “Industria Exhauriunt!”  _ It happened. Quill lunged her arm forward once more time, and jets of purple light, that almost looked viscous enough to be tangible material, suddenly spat out of the tip. There was a crackling sound that set Sirius’ teeth on edge, and the air filled with the smell of rotten eggs. McGonagall, fierce and bold and incredible...was slowly backing up. Sirius could see the fear in her eyes, as she ever so slightly shook her head.

Quill was taking deep, sharp breaths. Her arm trembled, and - was that smoke coming from her nostrils? Sirius was distracted as the strange conjuration she had cast now sprung to life, gathering together in a strange mass of energy, which soon took the shape of a human hand. Even Remus was watching, finally distracted from the sky for a moment. 

“What is that thing?” Peter breathed beside him, shaking. James was glowering, and Sirius knew why. They both knew. Whatever it was...it was dark magic. 

Quill turned her gaze on McGonagall, and her arm came down. With it, the ominous spectral replica came down at the same time. McGonagall swung to her left to avoid it. Like a game of cat and mouse, Quill began to direct the other-worldly hand into following McGonagall, who was rushing and zigzagging to avoid being grabbed. 

At one point it seemed like Quill had McGonagall backed into a corner, but she was not the only one to have surprises up her sleeve. Just before the Hand Curse had struck McGonagall, she seemed to vanish. When the hand lifted, a small gray cat darted underneath it. Quill’s eyes flashed again, and she aimed Remus’ wand at the cat, shooting hexes but always missing. Slightly swaying on the spot, she blinked a couple of times. No, Sirius hadn’t imagined it. She was...exhaling smoke. 

The cat disappeared and McGonagall got to her feet. “Viola, it’s killing you. Stop this now!” The violet light was all that illuminated them now. The sun had set entirely. However, Sirius had noticed something that caught his attention even more than McGonagall, Quill, or the gigantic smoky hand. Remus was shaking. He was almost vibrating. Cringing as though he had a serious migraine. Again, Sirius felt pangs of guilt. He wanted to run to him. More than anything. 

At that moment, the hand vanished. With another terrifying sound of crackling, it faded into thin air. Quill slumped slightly, but did not fall. McGonagall was shooting furtive glances between her and Remus. When she spoke, it was with kindness, but her tone carried an undercurrent of impatience. 

“I understand, Viola. I know the...the losses you’ve suffered have affected you greatly. But this is not the way.” 

“If you understand, then prove it. Just let me go.” Quill was panting, but Sirius could hear the faint sound of a plea in her tone. “Drop your wand. I can stun you. It will look like you gave your best effort. No one will know the difference.” 

Whatever warmth McGonagall had regained seemed to vanish. “How dare you?” She stood up to her full height. “How dare you ask me that? To take the coward’s path, to lie to the others? I could never dishonor them like that, even if I was willing to let you go-”

“Stop arguing!” Remus exploded, falling over in place. He let out a cry of pain, his voice sounding more gruff than usual. 

Quill leaned down over him. “Remus, it’s alright. I promise, I’m not going to let them hurt you.” 

“No! It’s not alright!  _ It! Is! Not! Alright! _ It’s too late now! You have to get out of here!” 

“What the bloody hell is happening to him?” Sirius could not stop himself. His fear was finally spilling out, he couldn’t contain it anymore. Nor, it seemed, could Remus. “What did Quill hit him with, what is this?” James and Peter both shushed him. Why did they have to be so far away? Quill would see them if they tried to get any closer. 

“Mr. Lupin, you can control it.” McGonagall’s voice was clipped again. It had that same tone of uncertainty. Of fear. “You can fight it.” 

“No, I can’t! I’ve been fighting it this whole time, I can’t keep it in anymore!” Tears were streaming down his face. His voice sounded thick, and yet still carried a level of desperation unheard of even for Remus. “Oh my god, get out of here! Please! Please just run! I’m-I’m not me! I’m...I’m…” At that moment, the clouds parted, and waves of moonlight fell down upon the three of them. 

Quill was looking alarmed. She crouched beside him. “Remus, what is it? What’s the matter? Let me help. Let me fix it-” Her efforts were dashed when he lurched to the other side. 

“NO! JUST RUN!” 

“VIOLA, GET AWAY FROM HIM!” 

“Remus…?” It was Peter who spoke up beside Sirius. Practically at normal volume now, but the Professors seemed to neither hear nor notice. All eyes were on Remus as he shuddered and shook in place. Letting out a scream that sounded more like a howl. Sirius felt his mouth getting more dry by the second. Remus...was changing. Before their very eyes, he was transforming. His features twisted and churned as the ropes restraining him split one by one. 

Quill got to her feet, slowly backing away. Sirius did not see the look in her eyes, but when she spoke, she reflected his own confusion. “What’s going on here…? What the….no. No no no. You.  _ YOU! _ ” She bellowed, and without warning there was a loud bang. McGonagall had been blasted back with a jinx. Quill stood beside Remus as he morphed and shifted. “What did you do? Answer me!  _ What have you done to him?! _ ”

At the same moment that Sirius yelled out Remus' name, McGonagall cried out as well. But it was too late. The ropes lay in tatters, and the creature that rose to its feet was emphatically not Remus Lupin, even if it was standing where he had lain not moments ago. The monster had hijacked his body, and as the moonlight reflected the maddened glint in it’s eyes, Sirius finally understood. All of them did. 

The Wolf moved. The night was young, and its first meal was so very close by. No sooner had Quill turned in place to look at the boy she had kidnapped, than the Wolf who had replaced him lunged at her. Claws came up, and with a snapping sound, Quill was knocked down. Several people screamed at once, and Sirius was never certain whose voices he’d heard, but one of them was surely Quill's. The Wolf was on her and its growl, not quite like any sound Sirius had ever heard, echoed through the night air. 

“Remus, no!” McGonagall shouted. “ _ Relashio! _ ” Her jinx did not separate the Wolf from its prey as no doubt intended. It had done little more than distract the creature. But sometimes a distraction was all it took. The Wolf turned, growled again, and began to advance upon McGonagall, who levelled her wand. The Wolf gave a great sniff...and suddenly stopped. 

Then it turned in place, and began to move closer to the place where Sirius, James, and Peter were standing. Peter gave a cry of dismay, far too loud, as with a jolt, Sirius understood. The Wolf could smell them. 

“Remus!” McGonagall shouted again, and another jinx hit the Wolf’s backside. Would McGonagall ever know or understand that she had saved their hides? Perhaps not. Nonetheless, the Wolf was distracted. It had stopped, sat on its haunches, and looked in the other direction. Then it gave a great howl. McGonagall kept her eye on the Wolf, but flicked her wand behind her, in the direction of the old shack. “ _ Homenium Revelio! _ ” 

Nothing happened, and this seemed to satisfy the Transfiguration professor. Sirius recognized the charm, he’d seen his dad use it to check whether or not his mum had gotten home. Flitwick must have either awoken, or been rescued. Either way, the Shack was empty. And for whatever reason, the Shack appeared to be McGonagall’s contingency plan. 

“This way, young man. Not another step toward Hogsmeade.” McGonagall waved her wand again, and a strange, glittering barrier appeared over the gaping hole in the Shack’s wall. Facing the Wolf, she transfigured herself back into a cat, and freely trotted toward it. 

For all of its previous acts of violence, the Wolf did not show any sense of hostility toward the tabby who now approached it. Though still giving furtive sniffs in the direction of the boys, it seemed that the appearance of this new animal had successfully gotten it’s attention. It growled slightly, to which the feline version of McGonagall mewed in response. Her tail in the air, she began to trot back into the Shack. With some hesitation...the Wolf followed. 

“He doesn’t think of her as prey.” James exhaled, barely a whisper. It was a realization, and Sirius was thinking it too. The Wolf had not harmed McGonagall who, while now a considerably smaller meal, was also a total freebie. But Remus...no, the Wolf...hadn’t touched her. 

There was a pause, far too long and far too silent, before Sirius found the nerve to throw the cloak off at last. It might have been a minute, it might have been an hour. But he couldn’t take it anymore.

“That was…” Peter was trembling. James was staring off into space. He was looking toward the shack, but Sirius couldn’t tell if he was actually studying it or just having flashbacks. Sirius wondered if the two of them were as shaken as he was. 

“Remus…” He whispered, still reeling with what he had seen. He couldn’t even say it. The ability to speak it aloud seemed too much for one person. 

James was struggling too. “He’s a...a…” 

The three boys caught each other’s glances under the light of the full moon. “Werewolf…” They finally said, altogether. 

“I...I don’t think he’s been going to see his mum.” Peter gulped, looking toward the house as well. Sirius bit his lip. It all made sense now. Remus had been keeping this in for a while, and the teachers had known.

“This is what he was afraid to tell us.” James said quietly, now staring out at the sky. Looking toward the light of the full moon.

Oh Remus...oh hell. Of all the things that Sirius had expected, this had never crossed his mind. And it should have. Damn everything, it should have. Remus had always left the Dormitory at night...and it had only ever been once a month...Sirius had wondered about why that was. But this had truly never crossed his mind, and he knew he was a fool for that. “Why didn’t we see it sooner?” He found himself wincing. 

James shook his head. “I think we did. At least, a little bit. Let’s be honest, we all knew he was hiding something. Maybe...maybe we wanted to believe it was something else. Anything else.” Sirius didn’t like the sound of that one bit. But it wasn’t true, was it? If he looked inside his heart, could he say with sincerity that he didn’t see this coming? That Remus would have some terrible secret that changed everything? It had cropped up in the whispers of his nightmares, his most guilty feelings...

Peter’s voice brought him back to reality. “Look!” He pointed a stubby finger, and Sirius threw a glance to his left. Before starting to gag. 

Quill, it seemed, was still conscious. She had staggered to her feet, and when she lifted her head up to catch the light of the moon, the boys all made an appropriate sound of horror at the state she was in. Before she’d looked normal, one could even argue she was beautiful. But now her face was alight with gashes, covered in blood as it seeped out of her temple and cheekbones. Her neck looked as though it had split open. One eye was squeezed shut. Privately, Sirius felt as though the real monster of the night had just shown herself at last. 

“No…” Even her voice now carried the growl of a predator. In that one fleeting moment, Sirius made his choice, and as if they shared a mind, James was right beside him. Whatever McGonagall was up to, Sirius trusted her to look after Remus. But Quill needed to be kept in check. And as he raced forward, James was right beside him. A little slower, Peter hobbled after them. 

Quill’s gaze turned to the boys, and she gave another haunting laugh. “You three...oh, what a surprise.” 

“Did you think I’d just wait around stunned like a good little witness?” James snapped back. 

Quill simply pushed her hair, which had fallen from it’s ponytail, out of her face. Even her hair, Sirius saw, had become matted with blood. Fixing the boys with a death glare, she raised her wand. “Get out of the way.” 

In response, Sirius drew his own wand. The others followed suit. “You’re not going near him.” He didn’t know if his tone was intimidating but it seemed to contain all the emotion he was feeling in that moment. 

“You don’t have the first idea of what you’re up against. You have no inkling of what’s really going on.” Quill continued to cackle, sounding more and more like she truly had lost her mind. 

“I think we do!” Sirius’ gaze jerked to the side. Both he and James, judging by the latter's expression, were surprised that Peter had spoken up so boldly. And while his tone betrayed his nerves, Peter continued. “Remus...must have been bitten at the start of the year. And I bet you bit him!” 

James shook his head. “She’d be a Wolf right now too, Pete. Whoever did this to him is still out there...and Remus has been beating himself up for getting infected. No wonder he was so depressed. He must reckon no one would accept him.” 

“Well, he’s right about that.” Quill scoffed, before she gave another terrible laugh. “Oh, there’s going to be hell to pay for this…” The blood had seeped onto her robes. Sirius half-wondered how she was still conscious. Surely, she was losing her grip. 

“The only one who’s going to answer for anything is you!” Sirius barked. “You just want to use his power for your own ends. But you’re not taking him. Because _ we _ accept him, you hear me? We’ll never let anyone hurt him!” Sirius brandished his wand, and aimed a disarming charm. Quill raised Remus’ own wand and blocked it like it was an annoying fly. 

“Get out of the way.” She repeated, staggering forward.

“Never.” James declared. “You heard Sirius. If you want to get to our friend, you’ll have to go through us first!” He then fired a Jelly-Legs Jinx. Quill lifted her own wand and blocked that too. 

“I truly do not want to hurt you.” She growled. “But if I have to, I will.” 

“Try us on for size, then!” Peter seemed to be following that same burst of courage. “Because tomorrow, Remus will be good as new, but you’ll still be an evil witch!  _ Rictusempra! _ ” He squeaked, but once again, Quill blocked it. This time bringing up both wands she was wielding and crossing her arms like a shield. 

Then she went on the offensive, firing a jet of blue light toward the three of them. Sirius dived to evade it and rolled over, as James grabbed Peter and helped him duck. “We can take her.” Sirius whispered tersely. “We just need the Snivellus Maneuver.” 

“Agreed.” James nodded, muttering the word through his teeth. “Alright Peter, on three.” As they counted down together, Quill raised both wands-

“ _ Flipendo! _ ” The three young boys bellowed together, jumping to their feet. Quill was sent flying back with the power of three knockback jinxes for the price of one. Crashing into a nearby tree, she hit the ground and lay still. Like Snape before her, she seemed unable to get up after the fact. Sirius had little doubt that Quill was stronger than Snape, but with how much blood she had lost...best that he didn’t think about it too much. 

The three boys hugged each other in turn, laughing in relief. James jogged over to the unconscious Quill and retrieved Remus’ wand, pocketing it. “Now what?” He asked, clapping both of them on the shoulder. “Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our only means back to the school is through the Wolf den.” He jerked his thumb toward the shack. 

“We could use the cloak, they wouldn’t see us.” Peter offered, but Sirius shook his head. 

“I’m pretty sure that he could  _ smell  _ us, Peter. Werewolves seem to have some kind of sixth sense for tracking humans.” 

Peter shivered. Whether because he was afraid or because he was getting cold, Sirius wasn’t certain. Though it was rather cold for a night in June. “I wonder if the Wolf mind is seeking out people it can infect? Cause it’s like...it’s a disease, right? Is that how it spreads?” He looked between his two friends for help. 

James nodded. “Sounds about right. The Wolf didn’t care about McGonagall at all after she changed into a cat.” 

“That’s another thing!” Peter jumped slightly. “How did she do that? Because that’s incredible magic.” 

For the first time all evening, James was grinning. His hazel eyes lightened up. “She’s an Animagus. My Dad told me before I started at Hogwarts. It’s one of the rarest and most advanced arts of transfiguration. I’ve always wanted to see her transform…” 

Sirius traded a glance with Peter and rolled his eyes. “Well, so long as your hero is still in the form of a cat, do you think she’ll keep the Wolf occupied long enough for us to sneak through the Shack again? 

James frowned slightly, and adjusted his spectacles. “We may have to take that chance, unless you want to wait till morning…” 

The three of them exchanged glances, a kind of wordless communication, before mutually nodding and going back under the Invisibility Cloak. Passing through the glittery barrier, Sirius paused. Curiously, he reached out to touch it, and found that inexplicably, it had become quite solid. “Nice…” He murmured. So this was how McGonagall was keeping Remus in. 

As for Remus himself, Sirius steeled himself. He could feel the others growing tense as well, but as they quietly moved through the house, they saw it. There was the Wolf, asleep on the nearest couch. With the gray tabby curled up on top of his back, snoozing as well.

It was like a tremendous weight had suddenly been lifted from Sirius’ back. Like a gigantic anchor had been sitting on his shoulders, weighing down his steps, and it was suddenly pulled away. Now that he was asleep, the Wolf was suddenly recognizable as the docile and gentle boy that Sirius lov-no. That he cared for, so very much. It was such a little thing, but seeing him without the maddened look of the hunt in his eyes...he was Remus again, and not the Wolf, no matter which body he was in. 

James tugged on Sirius' arm. “Come on mate.” He mouthed, as Sirius realized he had been staring, and holding up the others. James then removed himself from under the cloak, and quietly approached the Wolf and the cat as they slept. He slowly laid Remus’ wand down on the arm of the couch beside the Wolf’s snout, before rejoining his friends. Returning to the trap door, they were in the clear. 

For about thirty seconds. 

Regrettably, they bumped right into Professor Sprout during their journey through the secret passage. The Invisibility Cloak may as well have not been there, for she’d already heard about their actions from Malfoy and Hagrid. The boys were quick to learn that she had been the one to rescue Flitwick and take him to the Hospital Wing for something called a “concussion” before returning to look for McGonagall. With no other choice, the boys explained everything. 

An hour later, they were sitting in Professor Dumbledore’s office. Sirius was already amusing himself by counting how many different types of hexes his mother would employ to discipline him for being expelled after just one year at Hogwarts. He wondered vaguely if she’d break out the Unforgivables. Peter looked like he was near enough to having another panic attack, and yet James still looked more determined than ever. 

“We’re so bunked.” Peter was gasping, as James squeezed his shoulder. 

“No, we’ll be fine. We took down Quill, that has to count for something, right?” 

Sirius just shrugged. “No clue.” 

It wasn’t too much later that Albus Dumbledore, tall and regal as ever, returned to his office. He sat at his desk, and faced the boys, his blue eyes twinkling slightly. “I have just been to speak with Hagrid, and Professor Sprout. I was told a very fascinating tale about three young wizards who took it upon themselves to investigate the school’s newest landmark. I don’t suppose you’d know anything about that, would you?” 

James was the first to speak. He wasted no time. “Remus. Will he be okay?” 

Dumbledore said nothing for a moment, before leaning back in his chair. “Mr. Lupin shall be just fine. You should know that I was aware of his disability before he set foot in Hogwarts, and that several precautions have been taken to ensure his safety on the nights he must transform.” 

“The house.” Sirius murmured. “The Whomping Willow.” 

“Correct. You can understand, surely, what would happen to Remus if the truth were revealed. I hope I don’t need to warn you against telling anyone else what you saw tonight?” Dumbledore rubbed his temples slightly. “Other students, friends...even your own families. You mustn’t speak of what you’ve seen to anyone.” 

“We won’t!” Peter jumped in, shaking his head vigorously. “We’d never tell a soul, isn’t that right?” James nodded in agreement, and Sirius just chuckled. 

“If you think we would, you don’t know us very well, Professor.” 

Dumbledore chuckled as well. “Miss Evans is now aware of the secret passage, but does not know what it contains. Mr. Malfoy also suspected foul play, and he rather enthusiastically recommended expulsion for Mister Black. However, it is my feeling that you are already being asked to shoulder a serious responsibility - the truth. So long as you remain in Mr. Lupin’s corner...I believe some well-intentioned mischief can be overlooked.” His eyes twinkled again. 

“If I understand correctly, Mr. Lupin himself is not aware that you witnessed his transformation. Whether or not it is wise to enlighten him is something you must decide for yourselves.” Dumbledore continued, but Sirius was only half-listening now, casting James a furtive glance. There was still an erumpent in the room, a massive one, that was thus unmentioned. 

“Professor-” Sirius interjected, cutting Dumbledore off without a care in the world. “What about Quill? She tried to kidnap Remus...why? Does she want his power? Is he the “dangerous figure” you’ve been hiding? Tell us! What is Project Luna?” 

Dumbledore merely lifted a hand to silence Sirius. “Whether or not you deem Remus to be dangerous is for you to determine. However, as I have told you, a routine has been worked out that keeps him safe, barring extraneous circumstances…” He sighed. “Regrettably, it seems Professor Quill discovered the truth about Project Luna, and sought to interfere.” 

“But now I must ask you to cease all discussion about your friend. Before I let you return to your dormitory to rest, I’m afraid you must be questioned one more time. Not by me,” he added, seeing the look in Peter’s eyes. “The Ministry has been alerted to the situation. They know everything, except Mr. Lupin’s secret.” Dumbledore got to his feet, and strode over to the same hearth that had, just a few hours ago, contained Madam Pomfrey’s head. 

Tossing more of that gray powder into the fireplace, the same emerald green flames quickly consumed it, and Dumbledore called out in a tired voice, “They’re ready for you, Barty.” 

To the general amazement of the three boys, two men then came stumbling out of the fire, none the worse for wear. In fact, one of them looked almost uncomfortably clean, with a neat parting in his dark hair, and a narrow mustache. By contrast, the other seemed to be exceptionally disorganized. His robes were inside-out, his facial hair uneven, though his head was bald. He carried a roll of parchment and a bright gold quill. 

The clean man brushed himself off, made eye contact with James, and then approached the boys, with the disorganized man, who looked to be his assistant of sorts, following quickly after. 

“Good day.” The clean man’s tone was curt. “I am Bartemius Crouch, and I represent the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. This is Tyrell Knapp, he sits on the Wizengamot Court.” 

“And apparently, I scribe for you now.” Knapp muttered. It was just loud enough for Crouch to hear, and Sirius could tell that it was intentional. It was the kind of sideways remark he often gave to his own mother. 

“Indeed.” Crouch snapped harshly, before turning back to the boys. “Professor Dumbledore has told me that you were present for the attempted kidnapping of your peer. He also tells me that you witnessed terrible dark magic being performed by his kidnapper, Viola Quill.” 

James nodded. “It was some kind of giant, ghostly hand that she conjured. McGonagall kept warning her not to do it, said it would kill her…” 

Knapp had moved to sit down in a nearby chair, his roll of parchment floating beside him, and the gold colored quill he carried floated as well. It seemingly took down what James had to say all by itself, like it had a mind of its own. “What happened to her afterward?” 

James hesitated. Sirius knew that none of them really had a story prepared, but it was crucial to leave out the part about Remus...but how would they explain Quill’s mangled state? James clutched the sides of his chair. “McGonagall talked her down, and-”

“No, not her, Quill.” Knapp snapped his fingers impatiently. “What happened to her? Where has she gone?” 

Sirius' mouth went dry, and Peter looked up with widened eyes. James frowned. “What do you mean?” 

Crouch tapped his foot, his jaw tightening. “We’re asking you how she escaped. When your Herbology teacher scouted the area, Quill was nowhere to be found. Did she disapparate?” 

The boys’ silence was not exactly throwing off suspicion, but Sirius could guess that like him, James and Peter were blindsided. For his part, Sirius was trying not to shake in place. Quill...had gotten away. 

Mercifully, Dumbledore chose that moment to intervene. “She must have done, Bartemius. It is the only feasible explanation. Now please, leave these boys alone, they’ve been through quite enough.” 

Sirius caught the eye of both Peter and James in turn, and Sirius wondered if they were thinking what he was thinking...in the state she’d been in, Quill probably hadn’t apparated. It didn’t seem as though she’d wanted to in the first place. How...how  _ had _ she escaped?

“I don’t know what you expected.” Crouch scoffed, straightening out his collar. “A Half-Giant is one thing, Dumbledore. But when you invite someone from stock of _ that _ sort into your home, you can’t truly be surprised when she goes rogue.” 

“Blood is not everything, Bartemius.” Dumbledore said quietly. “I urge you to remember that in the days to come.” 

“For Merlin’s sake, she’s a Crowe!” Knapp suddenly grabbed the arms of his chair. “Blood or not, she grew up in their nest. She’s rotten to the core, and tonight’s events have proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.” 

“That will do, Tyrell.” Dumbledore’s voice was no less soft, yet now carried a slightly sharper edge. 

Crouch bristled slightly, ignoring the stunned expressions of the boys. “Well, if the children don’t know anything else, I see no further reason to continue this interview. We’ll need to get back to the Ministry, Tyrell.” 

The younger man stumbled slightly as he moved to gather his roll of parchment. Stuffing that and the golden quill into his robes, he followed Crouch through the fire, and then they were gone. 

Immediately, the boys rounded on Dumbledore, pelting him with questions, but once again the headmaster simply raised both hands and said nothing until the young Gryffindors fell silent. Once they had, he explained. “Professor Quill was raised in a pureblood family with less than tolerant views toward muggles. A particularly notorious family, at that. Her given name is Viola Crowe.” 

“A-and Soomin?” Peter squeaked, biting his nails. 

“Soomin is her niece. Though as I understand it, they do not share an especially cordial relationship.” Dumbledore stared off, seemingly into the distance, before Sirius realized he was eyeing the large perch where his red and gold bird had sat earlier. “In any case, it is nearly midnight. I must insist you return to your dormitories and try to get some rest. You needn’t worry about the rest of your exams...it seems, in the absence of one of our Professors, we shall need to make other arrangements anyway…” 

With that, James was the first to get to his feet. Beckoning Sirius and Peter to follow him. For once, they did as they were bid, heading back to Gryffindor Tower. James was shaking his head. “Should have seen it sooner. There’s even some resemblance, if you really think about it…” 

“Well, not after tonight.” Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. “Did you see her face? What a nightmare.” 

“And she’s loose…” Peter shivered slightly. 

James stopped in place, outstretching his arms to catch his friends. Something seemed to be on his mind. “We can’t tell him, mates. Remus. We can’t tell him that we know.” 

“Are you mad?” Sirius’ anger flared up once again. He couldn’t help it. “He’s been tearing himself to shreds for having to hide this from us, and you want to keep him in that darkness?” 

Sirius’ gaze was so ferocious he thought that surely the conversation was over, but James just shook his head. “Do you want to be the one to tell him that he attacked Quill? That he maimed another human being? We don’t even know if she’s still alive. She might have crawled off somewhere to die.” 

“Good riddance if she did.” Sirius spat, still scowling. “It wasn’t like that was really him, it was The Wolf. Besides, Quill was trying to abduct him, I think that safely falls under self defense, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, I know that. And you know that. But try telling that to Remus - you really expect him to see it that way? If he finds out what he did, nothing else will matter. He will blame himself for it until his dying day. I guarantee you, this is exactly what he’s afraid of.” 

Sirius continued to glower, before Peter leaned in. “He’s right, Sirius. If we tell Remus that we know, we’ll have to tell him exactly what happened, and it will break him.” Under the sincere, yet steadfast gazes of his mates...Sirius felt his posture slacken. 

“Fine, we don’t tell him. But...we need to do  _ something. _ Something to help him. I told you James, I’m not just going to sit around and let him suffer. I won’t do nothing. So you better have a good alternative.” 

To his surprise, James grinned. “Actually, I do. I think I know just what we can do. But it won’t be easy. It will take work. Hard, rigorous work. And time. Hell, it might take years. It could also go very wrong, if we’re not careful. But if I’m right...and I think I am...there’s a way we can still be there for Remus, without having to let him know that we are. So what do you say, boys? You in?” 

He held out his hand. Peter quickly shot out his own hand to clap it on top of James’. Sirius looked into James eyes, saw the dauntless confidence shining behind his spectacles. And he believed him. He was ready. Whatever it took, they would help Remus. Sirius clapped his hand on top of Peter’s. 

“Okay Potter. Let’s hear it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a struggle. In particular, I went back and forth on what to do with Lily, bounced a few ideas around with my friend - because she can't know Remus' secret yet. Let's just say she has a little more faith in authority figures than our three boys. 
> 
> Speaking of, we've reached that beautiful point in the Marauder's tale where they know Remus' secret, and rather than reject him, they've got something else in mind. 
> 
> So what happened to Quill? Is she dead? Will we ever see her again? And just what was that crazy spell that she used? Guess you'll have to keep reading to find out! 
> 
> Next chapter will probably follow either Snape or Lily. It's definitely their turn. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Every single time a person lays eyes on my mismatch of fanon ideas, I get another shot of serotonin!


	11. Us and Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus and Lily must reflect on their lives as they get to know each other's families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at year two! This one took longer than I intended, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out, and hopefully you shall agree! Let me know if you do. Also let me know if you don't. Seriously, good or bad, I devour your comments, so keep that in mind!

Most children relied on alarm clocks to rouse them from slumber. James Potter claimed to have gone through half a dozen. He boasted that they were his opponents, and how he always found new ways to defeat them. Sirius Black allegedly possessed an alarm clock that played a christmas carol every morning no matter the time of year. Esteban Mulciber’s alarm simply played a high pitched screech that his roommates were convinced would deafen them by fourth year, but at least it was effective. Severus, on the other hand, had no need of an alarm. He was already well-trained. Growing up in Spinner’s End, specifically in his childhood home, had left him with a near-inability to sleep in. With no school to look forward to, it was safe to do so, but even if managed not to wake up on his own, there was yet another alarm. 

_ Slam.  _

Severus felt himself returning to awareness as he stirred. At first making no movement but to roll over and stuff his face against the raggedy pillow. Squeezing his eyes more tightly, he waited. It was always better to wait, just in case his father came back for something he’d forgotten. Leaving for his job at around eight in the morning most days, Severus had learned years ago to expect that he would be awakened by a loud noise. His father seemed incapable of closing doors quietly. Severus had never asked, but he assumed it was a response made in anger. His father was usually angry, and with how much he hated his job, it stood to reason that this came out in the mornings, even when his parents were not fighting. 

Severus waited, and his thoughts drifted to the only person he’d ever cared about in his entire life. Lily Evans, who he finally had all to himself again. It wasn’t that he disliked Lapis Tilandr, but the second half of the school year had been marred by Lily’s constant effort to help the Ravenclaw girl. She had hung like a shadow over his friendship with Lily, and when she’d started to push Lily away at the end of the year, Severus had struggled not to feel a sense of satisfaction or glee. 

It was wrong, he knew that on some level, to take joy from Lily’s unhappiness, but there was no reason she needed to share that kind of happiness with anyone else, and now he could fill the hole that Lapis was leaving behind. It worked out for everyone involved. Would Lily’s companionship be missed? Could Lapis truly complain if it was? After all, if this was how she was going to treat Lily, had she ever been a truly good friend? Well, Lily still seemed to think so, unfortunately. Despite everything, despite all of the secrets Lapis had kept, Lily still cared for her and trusted her. It was frustrating. 

Not only had Lapis kept it from Lily that she and Soomin were once best mates, she had also known all along that Quill was Soomin’s aunt. At least no one in Slytherin had ever fully trusted or liked Soomin, had never accepted her...so it was unsurprising that she had never shared these details. But between Lapis and Lily? There was no excuse. Severus considered it a betrayal, particularly since Frank Longbottom had apparently known as well. It didn’t help that Lapis had clamped up, and not really shared any extra details beyond what Lily had already discovered through her investigation. She wouldn’t even confirm Lily’s theory that Quill was responsible for cursing her.

Severus did not trust her. And it tore him apart inside that Lily still did. 

He also did not know what to make of Quill, whom Lily now thoroughly despised. Sometimes, Severus thought, girls were confusing. Lily was fond of Professor Slughorn, despite his being a Slytherin with a more traditional point of view. But she hated Severus’ friends, Slytherins who had similar political views...and Quill, a radical who believed muggle-borns were the same as pure-bloods, had earned Lily’s scorn even before the big scandal from last year. 

Severus could hardly believe it, even now, but rumors were spreading like fiendfyre. Professor Quill had abducted a student, and gone on the run after he was rescued. No one seemed to be certain who it was, but Lily had let Severus know in confidence that it had been that Lupin kid. The general consensus among the students was that Quill had finally cracked, and as word got around about her connection to Soomin, the latter’s already poor reputation was sinking even further. She was in total disgrace. Lily had been visiting Hagrid when all of this had happened, supposedly. Yet Severus could not help but sense that there was more to the story, more that Lily hadn’t told him. 

But he shoved that worry to the bottom of his mind, ignoring it. Lily was not like Lapis. If there was more going on, she would tell him. Loyalty was not a difficult concept to grasp. Protect your own. The tricky part was figuring out who to offer such protection. Severus knew Lily, first and foremost, was his priority. After that, his housemates...most of them, anyway. As far as the staff was concerned...Severus did not care for most of them. He had seen an ally in Quill after she’d spoken out for Lily...but now he wasn’t sure what to think. Not that it mattered: After allegedly kidnapping a student, Quill would be lucky to avoid Azkaban, nevermind returning to teach. 

Having waited several minutes, Severus glanced at the nearby clock and at last found the energy to roll out of bed. He might have stayed, might have curled up and slept until he drew his last breath. But there was someone out there waiting for him, someone he wanted to see. The only person that he ever cared to see. Almost mindlessly, he prepared for his day. Reaching for his robes out of pure instinct, before hesitating. Severus cringed. He could not wear them, not during the summer holiday. Too many muggles. Reluctantly, he instead reached for the muggle garb that did not fit him and always smelled funny no matter how often it was washed. Every day, he remembered once again that he could not dress himself as he was, and it was another punch in the gut. 

No matter. Seeing Lily would make everything better. He knew that much. Severus, now fully dressed, turned to his school trunk. There was one more thing he needed, one bit of cargo still required. Something he’d planned to give to Lily several months ago, before he’d chickened out. Even now, it felt risky to give it to her, just in case she asked how he had gotten it. Gingerly unfolding the cloth wrappings, Severus withdrew the Lily flower that Quill had conjured for him.

Biting his lip, Severus stared at it. Today would be the day. He had told himself as much several times over during the last few months, but no. He would not back down this time, he would not let his nerves get the best of him. He would express himself and his feelings to Lily and show her the kind of attention she deserved. Show her, remind her, who there was in her life that truly cared about her, would do anything for her. Mary, Marlene? They weren’t James Potter, but they were still irritating...and Frank and Lapis were liars and traitors. He needed to know nothing else. 

With the utmost care, Severus tucked the flower into the inner pocket of his coat, before leaving his room. Quietly moving down the stairs, he peered around the edge of the wall. Hearing slight movement, Severus squinted, his eyes darting back and forth. The sound seemed to come from the kitchen. If he maneuvered his way through the hall without bumping into anything, there was a good chance he could make it outside without having to-

“Is that you, Severus?” 

He winced slightly. “Right here, Mum.” With no options left, he walked out into the open to greet her. 

His mother, a woman called Eileen with heavy brows and a pallid face, glanced over at him. “You’re just in time. Fancy a game of gobstones? We haven’t had a chance to play since you came home.” Severus’ heart sank to somewhere in the region of his kidneys; he could see that she had already gotten the set of gobstones out. Had she gotten up to wait for him? He didn’t know whether to feel as though that was touching or creepy…

“That ah, that sounds fun, Mum. Maybe later though. I’m supposed to meet Lily.” 

Eileen’s demeanor shifted ever so slightly. Her face grew more lined. How could it be that a single name made her look as though she’d aged at least five years? “Oh, of course. Well then, I don’t expect I’ll see you for the rest of the day. Do be back for supper, if nothing else.” 

“Of-of course Mum. I’ll tell her you said hello.” Severus began to inch toward the door. 

“Yes, please do. What are you up to this time, mmnn?” Eileen was not looking at him, she was staring at the gobstones. Shuffling them around as though trying to create the illusion that she was doing something which would require attention. 

“Well her parents have um, been wanting to meet me, and apparently her Dad is going to take us fishing. Wants to get to know me, I suppose? Should be fun.” 

“Fishing…” Eileen made a face and spoke the word like she was trying to sound out a foreign name. “Never understood the appeal. You just sit there and do nothing for hours, barring the occasional arm exercise.” Severus was not sure how to describe his current emotional state. What was it Thalia had called it? Secondhand embarrassment? Whenever Soomin made a fool of herself...it was not unlike what Severus felt in the moment. His mother was painfully transparent. 

“Right...well, bye. See you later.” He darted through the kitchen and toward the backdoor, toward the quickest means of escape. If his mother said anything else, Severus did not catch it. He sped his way down the path to Lily’s house, which he knew by heart. He hadn’t been lying, the plan for today was indeed to go fishing with her father...but Severus had not told his mother how little enthusiasm he was actually feeling. 

It wasn’t the idea of fishing that repelled him, not in the slightest. If anything, it sounded peaceful. Much more so than a game where one could be splattered with ink at a moment’s notice. What disturbed Severus was the personal degree involved. Truth be told, he had no desire to become friendly with Lily’s parents. It was the kind of thing he’d expected would happen sooner or later, a burden he was willing to shoulder...but meeting them, getting to know them...well, going by Lily’s sister, it wasn’t going to be fun. Perhaps they would be nice, perhaps they were an utterly pleasant muggle couple...but at the end of the day, they were muggles. He just didn’t have much in common with them. 

One key difference, of course, was that they knew. They were aware of the wizarding world, but that didn’t mean they would understand it. Unlike Lily, they could never truly be a part of his world. Or Lily’s, for that matter. No doubt they would ask him all about his Hogwarts career, and that was all well and good...but beyond that, there was something distinctly uneasy about bonding with Lily’s father in particular. 

Severus knew the stories. He was painfully aware of the stereotypes and traditions that would make such a meeting awkward. He was a young man, who was close friends with a young woman. He had special feelings for said young woman, and to hear Soomin tell it, he wasn’t the best at keeping them close to his chest. He was terrified that Lily might have figured it out and simply said nothing, but he was even more afraid of the idea that Lily’s family might notice...especially her father. Historically speaking, fathers did not react well when their daughters were in these kinds of situations. 

Unconsciously, Severus reached into his coat and let his fingers trace the Lily flower. He had promised himself that today would be the day. Which was not to say that he would admit feelings for Lily, nothing so direct...he wasn’t sure he would ever have the courage. But he would give her the flower. He would take care of his own. The only question was how to do so without causing her father to raise an eyebrow…? 

There probably was no way. But he had to try. Perhaps he could wait until the end of the day. But, no...if he did, he would certainly chicken out again. Severus knew himself well enough to hazard that guess. Worse still, he’d be wracked with anxiety and anticipation all day. He couldn’t handle that, and no doubt he would slip and say something stupid in front of Lily’s father...but could he give it to Lily beforehand? Would there be a chance? Would he even have a moment alone with her before they all went down to the lake?

As Severus rounded the bend and approached the Evans’ household, his eyes absently wandered the garden out front. He had seen this house several times before, but never gone in. Petunia had always raised a needless fuss, thrown tantrum after tantrum in her efforts to convince her parents that he, Severus, was the problem. He could well remember - all she would talk about was the branch incident. As if he’d actually meant to do it...which, Severus thought bitterly...even if he  _ had, _ it’s not like there was any proof he was even responsible, let alone that it was intentional. 

Taking a deep breath and trying to stay calm, Severus made his way up to the porch. He looked about as presentable as he could...his clothes were not exactly new, and no matter how many times he’d washed his hair last night, it still took on that greasy sheen...despite the rumors Potter spread about him, Severus tried with increasing desperation to attend his hygiene. Sure, there were days when he’d neglect, but given how little difference it seemed to make, who could blame him? According to his mother, it was his muggle genes, and Severus didn’t doubt it...his father’s skin and hair were always oily too. He only prayed, as he knocked on the door, that Lily’s parents would not take notice. 

Severus had not realized that he was holding his breath, but relief pushed him to exhale as it was Lily who answered the door. He soon went red, however, as he realized she was still in the middle of getting ready. By no means indecent, but her red hair was still damp. For her part, Lily seemed to think nothing of this, truth be told she seemed rather preoccupied. “Hey, come in. So...status update, we’ve got a bit of a problem…” She beckoned to Severus, who took the cue and entered the front hall. 

Lily shut the door and turned back to him, leaning against it. “Dad can’t find his fishing rods. Any of them. He’s been searching the house but they’re just...gone. Mum thought it was me, at first, that I’d done something by accident. I mean, I don’t blame them...the first week I turned my teacup into a rat.” She blushed, and waved a hand dismissively at the look on Severus’ face. “It’s fine, not like I used my wand. I’m not in trouble, at least, I don’t think I am...anyway, Tuney’s got a pet rat now, at least until we can find him a new home. She hates him.” Lily added as an afterthought. 

Severus hesitated. “So you think you may have...accidentally turned the fishing set into something else?” His brow creased slightly. Despite how sure he was that Lily had the power, there was something off about this idea. 

Lily shrugged slightly in response. “Dunno. I mean, I can clearly recall the teacup incident. One second I’m about to pour myself a cuppa, the next there’s a giant mouse frantically clawing my hair to avoid a boiling tea bath.” She chuckled slightly, before shaking her head. “But I haven’t gone anywhere near Dad’s gear, hadn’t even really thought about it, so I dunno what else could be going on…” 

The two of them wandered into the sitting room and waited on the sofa, Severus clasping his hands tightly together. This was his chance, this was the moment. He was alone with Lily, he could give her the flower. It was time. But...but what if her father saw her wearing it, and started asking questions? Or worse still, what if Petunia saw it? What if Lily didn’t like it, what if she laughed at him? No, she would never do that...but still, suppose she did claim to like it, but only to protect his feelings? Severus was so consumed with what-ifs that all too soon his chance had flown away, and a man who must be Lily’s father entered the room. 

Severus tried to hide his disappointment as a pudgy man with strawberry blond hair and large glasses gave him a firm handshake. He was barely listening, just halfheartedly nodding along with what was being said. Lily’s father - had he said his name was Noah? It had been either Noah or Nelson - wasted no time in starting a conversation, expressing that while perhaps they could not fish, the three of them could still go out and visit the lakeside. Forcing himself to smile, Severus mentally prepared himself for the day, when-

_ Slam. _

“OUCH!” 

Everyone jumped to their feet. Lily bellowed “Tuney!” and both she and Mr. Evans bolted across the room toward the staircase, following the loud noise that had echoed. With nothing else to do, Severus followed suit. The sinking feeling from earlier only grew stronger at the sight he found - Petunia Evans clutching her ankle, curled up in a ball on the staircase as Mrs. Evans, who must have come from upstairs, crouched over her. Mr. Evans soon joined her. Lily seemed to hang back, as though uncertain as to whether or not she was welcome to comfort her sister. Seeing this, anger flared up in Severus’ heart, and it must have reflected on his face, because at that moment Petunia looked up and the two of them locked eyes. 

An understanding passed between them in that moment. Severus knew what was coming, but there was no way to head her off or get the first word in without looking suspicious. Sure enough, Petunia’s face erupted into a heated scowl, as she pointed in Severus’ direction. “ _ You! _ I should have known! Of course I trip down the stairs the second that  _ you _ arrive! What is your problem, jerk?” 

Lily’s sympathy for Petunia seemed to vanish on the spot. “Sev didn’t do this! Are you out of your mind? He’s been with us! Tell her, Dad!” However, before Mr. Evans could back up this claim, Petunia let out a groan of pain and curled up more tightly. Lily’s parents were looking between their daughters with gazes far too uncertain. They exchanged a glance. 

“I didn’t.” Severus stammered. “I don’t know what she’s talking about!” 

Lily glanced at him and then turned back to her sister. “Exactly, he wouldn’t do that. But never mind, are you okay Tuney? Can you walk?” 

“No!  _ Not  _ nevermind!” Petunia hissed, and clung to her mother, her tone taking on more of a wail. “This is the second time he’s tried to kill me. Why do you hang out with him? Why was he invited here?!” 

Mr. Evans was staring at Severus with an expression that he couldn’t quite place, but all he knew for sure was that he did not like it one bit. Mrs. Evans was cradling Petunia’s head. Severus did not dare glance at Lily, though he could feel her eyes on him. “Unbelievable.” He snapped, sounding more angry than he’d intended. “You stand under a tree, a branch falls on you...and that’s somehow my fault. You don’t look where you’re going on a staircase, and that’s my fault too?” He knew he had to stick to his story, it was the only way to salvage any possibility of being welcome in this house ever again. “Y’know, the first time I thought you were just being irrational, but now I’m starting to think that you’re purposefully framing me!” 

Petunia glowered at him, and buried her face in her mother’s neck. “Can I please get some ice? It really hurts…” Shortly thereafter, Severus found Lily had grabbed his arm and moved him into the hallway while her parents propped Petunia up on the couch with her ankle wrapped up in a bundle of ice cubes. Severus could practically feel his heartbeat punctuating each moment. 

“So...you’re certain she’s the older sister?” He finally muttered, having remembered that Petunia was supposed to be older than Lily by a year or two. “Because blimey, does she not act like it-” 

“Oh shut up Sev.” Lily bit her lip, staring at the wall. Her tone was impatient and Severus instantly fell silent before she looked at him once again. “You  _ didn’t _ do this, right? Because so help me, if you did, and...and you  _ lie _ to me about it like you did last time-” 

“I wasn’t lying last time! Or this time!” Severus could not see his own expression, all he could tell was that it was serious. Hopefully it depicted indignation more than fear. “I meant everything I said back there. I doubt she’s even injured, ten galleons says she heard my voice from the top of the stairs. In fact…” His eyes widened as a new thought crossed his mind. “Who’s to say she didn’t hide the fishing rods, too?” 

Lily wore a dubious expression, but Severus pressed on. “You don’t think she would? Ever since she found out what we are, she’s done nothing but try to hurt you and hold you back. I’m sorry Lily, but I’m just telling you what I see.” Lily said nothing for a moment. Petunia had always claimed that their problems started when Severus had come into their life, but he knew better. He’d seen Lily practicing underage magic before he’d shown himself. Petunia had already been giving her a hard time for it. This was envy, plain and simple. 

Finally, she spoke up. “Mum and Dad are in the kitchen. Let me talk to them for a bit, okay? I need to perform some damage control, or they’re going to think Tuney was right about you being dangerous…” Severus felt a swooping sensation as Lily squeezed his shoulder, but she was not looking at him. Lily disappeared into the kitchen, and Severus felt his heart fill with resolve. He was not the bad guy here. He was certain of that much. He wanted nothing more than to prove it. Despite what a risky move it was, he felt total conviction in entering the sitting room. 

As Petunia saw him, her eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth as if to scream, but Severus spoke first. “What’s the big idea?” He hissed. “You know damn well I didn’t make you trip, and if you don’t, then you’re more of an imbecile than I thought, even by muggle standards.” He stared at her ferociously. Perhaps if he was relentless enough, she could be intimidated. “You are lying about me.” 

Petunia said nothing for a moment. She simply adjusted her pillows, and with an expression totally unabashed, “If you want to talk about lying, how about you admit what really happened with the branch?” Severus gulped slightly, in spite of himself. Despite how morally superior he currently felt, she had matched him measure for measure. 

“This is different.” Severus’ tone was softer now, but twice as dangerous. Petunia was approaching a sore spot and he knew he would not react well. “Let’s say the old wives tale you keep telling about me with the branch  _ was _ true. Then what happened? You provoked me, I got mad. End of story. But this? This is a planned, premeditated framing. You should be ashamed of yourself.” 

Petunia snickered, rubbing her eyes slightly, “Oh, you’re a fine one to say that to me, Snape.” She paused, and shook her head slowly. “You ruined everything, you know that? Ever since you came along, our lives have gone downhill. You--You stole my sister away from me, do you realize that?” She spat. Their tones were hardly above a whisper, lest Lily and her parents overhear, but the venom was palpable. 

Severus merely shrugged. “You must be a pretty lousy sister then. I mean, I  _ know _ you are,” he chuckled derisively, “but is that seriously why you’re doing this? Because you’re jealous that she chose me?” 

Petunia’s face filled with color and Severus felt a kind of grim satisfaction. There was a beat, before she spoke again. This time, she seemed to choose her words more precisely. “She was better without the likes of you.” 

Severus could feel the heat behind her words, but he didn’t care. He’d read this book before, page for page, and it never had a different ending. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he gave Petunia an almost pitying look. “You know I didn’t change her. She’s always been different, special. I didn’t cause that. Meeting me didn’t turn her into a witch. Magic is in her blood.” 

Petunia winced suddenly, and for a moment Severus found himself wondering if one of Lily’s parents had entered the room. But no, they were still talking to their daughter in the kitchen. So what was Petunia carrying on the act for? “Don’t say that word again.” She snapped. 

Now Severus understood. And he smirked. “What word, magic?” 

Petunia seemed to have no response. Her face grew more flushed and her nostrils flared. “Everything was fine until you came along, Snape! Now I don’t have a sister. So don’t you dare take the moral high ground with me in my own house!” 

“That’s not what you care about, though.” Severus countered, folding his arms. “I read your letter, remember?” He took a slight degree of satisfaction at seeing the anger in Petunia’s eyes. “Here’s the real truth - you  _ have _ your sister, you just can’t stand knowing that she’s incredible and you’re mediocre. Nothing but a muggle. Lily defied her own genes to be born as she is. You don’t hold a candle to that.” 

“I’m normal!” Petunia’s voice lifted an octave and Severus felt a shiver go down his spine. “You’re the freak! You belong in a home!” A tear slid down Petunia’s cheek and she furiously rubbed it away. Severus recovered from a moment of shock, having been worried that they’d be overheard. Nonetheless, he was not going to back down. 

“That might hurt my feelings, if you actually meant it.” He shot back. “Or if your opinion mattered. But it doesn’t, and we both know that’s why you’re really upset. You don’t matter. You’ll never set foot in Hogwarts.” 

“Don’t pretend you’re any better than me, you horrid little boy.” Petunia spat, shaking slightly. Severus knew that Lily and her parents could walk in at any moment, and Petunia would go right back to crying crocodile tears about how he was threatening her...but he had to risk it. He had to settle this. “You want to know the real truth, Snape? She’s better than both of us, but I’m still far beyond you. Don’t forget that.” 

Severus hesitated. He was teetering on the edge. Both of them were. This was the most sincere they had ever been with each other, ironically enough. But it was still a battleground, and Severus was not about to leave as the loser. 

“...So why did she choose me?” It was a deathblow, and he almost felt guilty at how satisfying it was to deliver it. To see the light fade from Petunia’s eyes. But much like him, she hadn’t given up yet. 

“Because she’s blind and stupid.” Petunia hissed, shifting against her pillows. “She believes in you, Snape. And you do not deserve it. That’s just a fact. If you care about her at all, if you genuinely want what’s best for her...walk away. Because you’re always going to hold her back. One day, she’ll figure that out. One day, she’ll abandon you for someone better. But until then, every day she spends on you weakens her. You’re nothing but a taker, draining her day by day. She’ll always be worse off with you in her life. Even if you don’t want to face it.” 

Was it his imagination, or was the lily flower in his coat pocket starting to shrivel and wilt? Was he having some kind of panic attack, or was it normal for muggle houses to feel slanted? His vision was fogging over, or were his eyes just watering? Severus tried to speak, but a frog caught in his throat. Even through the film over his eyes, he could make out Petunia’s grim smirk. “That-that isn’t true. You’re the one dragging her down.” His words sounded far too much like a gasp. “I’m opening doors for her, that she’d never have without me. She needs me.” 

Petunia did not break his gaze. In one fell swoop, it was like she had knocked him down and climbed atop his corpse. “That might be touching, if you actually meant it. But like I said: The damage you cause doesn’t go away just because you pretend. Just...do the right thing, and stay away from my family.” 

Severus was spared the trouble of responding, because at that moment Lily called for him from the kitchen. Rubbing his face, he broke away from the previous conversation and swiftly moved into the other room to properly face the music. Before anyone else could say anything, he spoke. 

“I don’t know Petunia as well as Lily, and maybe she’s doing this on purpose, maybe not. You’d know better than me. Perhaps she really believes I’m out to get her. But you need to know...I’m not.” He was careful to make eye contact with both of her parents as he said so. “I won’t sugarcoat anything, I’ll be frank with you...after the way Petunia has treated Lily this past year, I haven’t really wanted anything to do with her. I’ll admit it - I don’t care for her at all. But I also don’t go around hurting other people like that. Even if I did, I could never do that to Lily…” Following instinct, he took her hand. Lily, trembling slightly, gave him a wordless hug, which he returned gratefully. 

Mr. and Mrs. Evans exchanged another glance, before looking back at Severus. Mrs. Evans nodded slowly. “Severus, we believe you. Lily chooses her friends well, she always has.” 

Mr. Evans reached out and clapped his shoulder, looking somewhat crestfallen. “Petunia has never really known how to handle all this...goodness, Katie and I don’t always know how. It’s a lot to take in, and she’s reacting badly. But we’ve talked about this, Lily, and I’m sure she’ll come around. 

Mrs. Evans glanced at her husband. “Noah, maybe it’s best if we look after Petunia now. Lily, you and Severus should probably find something else to do today.” She then looked at Severus with more of a squint. “Don’t make us regret our faith in you, alright?” 

That frog in his throat was back. He could only nod quietly, because of course he wouldn’t. Not ever. 

Within a few moments, Severus and Lily had left the house. Awkwardly sticking his hands in his pockets, he once again rushed to be the first to speak. “Lily, I-” however, his conviction was not as strong as hers, and she cut him off. 

“Just answer me one thing, Sev. Would you ever hurt Tuney? I don’t mean now, or with the branch. I mean...in the future. Because you hate her, that much is clear.” The back of Severus’ neck felt strangely cold - why did Lily sound so embittered? She was not meeting his eye. “So if she makes another rude comment about you, or about me…” Lily took a deep breath. “Can you control yourself?” 

Whatever had happened in the past, Severus could not help but recoil as though he’d been punched in the throat. Why, even now, was he being interrogated? When he spoke, he tried not to sound insulted. But it was how he felt. “Lily, Petunia is trying to drive us apart. But you need to understand. There’s nothing she could say to me that would make me lose my cool.” He knew that now, better than ever, after the conversation they’d held in the sitting room. “But if she hurts  _ you? _ That’s another story. I’ll never do anything you don’t want. But I’m not going to stand by if someone is hurting you. That’s not who I am.” 

They were following the road that led to Severus’ house, and with a sudden stab of anticipation, he found himself wondering if they would relocate there for the day. Lily had never visited his house either. For her part, Lily’s mind seemed to be on Petunia still, and she did not seem troubled by such implications. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, Severus. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that you care, it’s just...not with her. Against the Slytherins? Sure, that would be great. But Tuney...you need to let me deal with her myself.” 

Severus could think of nothing to say, and thus chewed on the inside of his cheek. Somehow, protecting Lily from Petunia was a lot easier than doing so against his own house-mates. Lily was one of his own, but so were they. “It’s one thing for schoolmates to have spats. It’s another if your own family mistreats you. D’you think I don’t understand that? Because I do.” 

“I know you do, Sev.” Lily’s brow furrowed, and her stunning eyes seemed contemplative. “It isn’t that, it’s just...The Slytherins hate me. You’re the only friend I’ve got on the inside, amid a sea of people who hate me without even knowing me. Tuney hates me...right now, but we used to be close. We can be close again. And I have my parents to keep things mostly civil.” 

“I’m a little surprised they understood.” Severus muttered, before he could stop himself, but realized a second too late that his words were a mistake. Lily stopped walking and glanced at him. The expression she wore was curious. She was not offended, not yet, but Severus knew he could think of no elaboration on his words that would sound right. Looking wildly from side to side for a distraction, he realized they were now close to his house. 

“Hey, do you want to come in? Don’t worry,” he added quickly. “Dad is out at work. Mum’s home, and she’s mostly fine. A little overbearing I suppose. She’ll probably invite you to play Gobstones.” 

Lily’s eyes narrowed. She brought a hand up to mess with her hair slowly as she stared at Severus, who could feel his face heating up. His deflection, he knew, was obvious. He could only hope that Lily would let everything just move on in spite of that. 

She did. A moment later, she nodded, and the two of them made their way into the house. In another heartbeat, Severus felt himself pause, throwing out his arm to stop Lily in place as well. She glanced at him, and he bit his lip. Gazing into the kitchen, he could see that his Mum had not moved. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate. She must have moved, for now she had a glass in her hands, and whatever she was drinking, Severus knew it was not pumpkin juice. 

“Well well well.” Eileen smiled just a bit too wide. “What have we here? Back before noon? Things must not have gone well with…” As she struggled to her feet, she caught sight of Lily, who was gazing back at her and saying nothing Severus’ heart sank. “Ooh! You must be the famous Lily Ellen!” 

“Evans.” Severus responded tersely, and his mother waved a carefree hand. 

“Evans, Ellen, whatever you call yourself. Doesn’t much matter when all is said and done. You people don’t have bloodlines anyway, right? None of that cult crap.” Elieen giggled slightly and as Lily looked to Severus for help, he winced slightly. 

“Mum, Lily and I were just going up to my room. Are you going to be alright?” In truth, he’d found his mother in this state before, and he wasn’t that concerned about her. She’d sleep it off. It was more that he needed to gauge how much of a problem she was going to be. As if things hadn’t already gone wrong today. 

“No of course, off you go. Why spend time with your dotty old Mum when you’re home anyway, right?” Eileen laughed, far too loudly, lifting her glass as thought to ironically toast Severus and Lily. The liquid in the glass, which smoked slightly, sloshed on her shirt. Severus had seen enough. Grabbing Lily’s wrist, he quickly led her up the stairs. 

Once he had shut the door, he found himself wracked with anxiety again. What if Lily didn’t like his room? What if such a disastrous first meeting with his mother was the straw that broke the camel’s back? Sure enough, Lily spoke up as soon as the door was closed. Glancing between the doorknob and Severus himself, she looked pained. “Look, Sev, if I’m not welcome here-” 

“I say you are.” Severus spoke with conviction, with power. He wanted to be absolutely sure that if nothing else, Lily understood this. That he would put his foot down and take her side over anyone else’s. That so long as he called this hellhole his home, no one would insult her here. 

“But..” Lily trailed off, glancing down. “But if your Mum doesn’t like me-”

“She can keep her fat mouth shut if she doesn’t.” Severus snapped back, almost surprised at himself. Lily sure looked surprised. “She’s hardly one to talk anyway, right?” He reminded her. 

Silence fell for a minute or two. Severus moved to sit down on the bed and beckoned Lily to join him. After a moment’s hesitation, she did. Staring at the wall, she finally seemed to voice her curiosities. “I don’t get it. If she hates muggles, why did she marry one?” Seeing the look on Severus’ face, Lily waved a dismissive hand. “Never mind, we don’t have to talk about this-”

“She doesn’t hate you. She doesn’t hate muggle-borns at all.” Seeing the dubious look on Lily’s face, Severus bit his lip. It would be difficult to explain his mother’s loneliness to her. He did not know how to articulate the truth to Lily. That he, Severus, was all his mother had. Which was the real reason she hated Lily, at least so far as Severus could tell. But no way could he say that to her. 

“When she was younger, my mother rebelled against her parents’ dogma and married my father. Everyone told her it was a bad idea, but she didn’t care what he was. She was in love. She believed he could be better. Of course, once I was in the picture, once she was anchored...that’s when he really showed his true colors. That’s when everything got worse. Trust me, he’s the problem. He hates us more than she’s ever hated them.” 

Lily did not respond for a while. The air only grew thicker as Severus waited, forgetting to breathe. Clasping his hands, he nudged her shoulder with his own in a slight motion to try and provoke her to speak. Lily looked up from her lap after a while and caught Severus’ eye. An act that always got him weak at the knees. 

“Do you...do you think you’re better than us?” 

Severus blinked. He wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly. “What do you mean?” 

“Muggles.” Lily said, hardly above a whisper. It was almost like she was hissing. 

He truly did not know what to make of this. “Lily. You are a witch. You’re not one of them. You’re one of us.” 

He felt a blow on his arm as she gave him a light punch. “Just. Answer the question.” Her gorgeous eyes were filled with emotion and with a sinking feeling, Severus did not get the sense that it was all positive. Lily would know, he was certain, if he lied to her at this moment or tried to evade the topic. He had to face it. 

“Look, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that we’re the same as them. Because we’re not. We have incredible power that they could only dream of. You know it’s true.” He pointed out, trying to stick to reason and logic. “Who wouldn’t be a wizard over a muggle, if given the choice?” He’d meant the question to be rhetorical, but Lily’s troubled expression inspired fear in his heart. “Lily...you wouldn’t give up being a witch, right? What’s Petunia been telling you?”

“It’s not her.” Lily turned away from him, and shrugged him off when he tried to touch her arm. “It’s the people at school. I want to believe they’ll grow out of it, but if they all turn out to act like your Mum after they’ve “grown” then...I don’t know if it’s even worth it to wait. Am I ever going to be treated like everyone else?” She looked back at him. 

Severus felt the need to tread carefully. He always did, when it came to Lily and this subject. Once again, he found himself mentally cursing that stupid Hat for putting such a huge wall between the two of them. “Maybe...maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places. You don’t need to hang out with them, you know.” 

He broke off in alarm as Lily stood up, staring daggers at him. “I don’t, Severus.  _ You  _ hang out with them!” 

Oh dear. There it was at last. There it was again. Lily being sorted into Gryffindor was once again haunting him. Would this go on for the next several years? Until they graduated? Were she in Slytherin, she’d understand, surely. “Don’t have much choice, Lily. They’re in my House.” An old nightmare sprang up in his heart, and the next words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “If I recall, you spent a fair bit of time with Potter’s gang last year.” 

Lily gave him a dirty look. “That was for Lapis’ sake, and you know it. You also know that I told them off at every turn. How many times did you stand up to Mulciber? Avery? Crowe?” 

“No one likes Crowe.” Severus interjected, knowing that she was, in particular, someone Lily was at odds with. “But when it comes to Slytherin, we’re...we’re like a brotherhood. We stick together to survive. This is why I wish you’d been sorted there, cause we wouldn’t have this problem. Slytherins get mistreated just as much as muggle-borns, you know that? Everyone hates us.” 

Silence fell. This time, it seemed as though Severus had gotten through to her. Lily’s face was softening. To Severus’ delight, he could feel her reaching out to take his hands in her own. “I don’t hate you…” 

“Good.” Severus’ tone was weaker than he was expecting. He squeezed her hands in return. “I don’t hate you either. In...in fact-” He broke off slightly. No, he needed to be brave. Now was the moment, he could feel it. Now was the time. If he didn’t do it now, he may as well toss the flower in the lake, because he never would. Standing up, he let go of Lily’s palm, reluctantly, to reach into his coat. 

“I...I conjured this just before Valentine's Day.” He lied swiftly. It wasn’t that he wanted to deceive her, but telling her who had actually given him the lily flower would kill the moment. And if he could take full credit for the idea...that didn’t hurt either. “Wanted to give it to you, maybe cheer you up, but there was never a proper moment. But I’m sick of waiting…” He produced the lily flower from his coat and gingerly placed it in her hands. 

Lily’s jaw dropped slightly as she accepted the flower and passed it between her fingers, admiring it. “Sev...you can’t mean you’ve been holding onto this for five months? Oh, c’mere…” and when she hugged him, everything felt right again. It only felt better when she pulled back and tucked the flower into her hair. For the first time all day, Severus was smiling. 

The remainder of their summer holiday passed without consequence. Petunia stuck firmly by her story that Severus had used magic to injure her, and Eileen never brought up Lily’s visit to Severus or his dad, leaving him to guess that she didn’t even remember it. The day that term started again, Lily bustled her way into the compartment seat beside Severus clutching a large, extremely vocal rat who’s fur was the color of mud. Apparently, Petunia had threatened to drown “Peanut” as Lily had named him, if she did not agree to take the rat with her to Hogwarts. Though rats were not officially allowed, they were one of the many types of pets that did not usually cause trouble. In cases like these, the staff either never found out or elected to look the other way. 

Severus’ mind was on autopilot as he and Lily exited the train. Mentally relieved that he would not have to ride the boats again as a second year, he instead climbed aboard one of the carriages to finish the journey to the castle. It was there, as they were entering the Great Hall, that commotion finally broke out. A loud buzzing sound could be heard as students gossiped more than usual, but Severus’ eye caught three people in particular. 

The first was Sirius Black, who pushed past him roughly. Severus scowled and went for his wand, but Lily, still wearing the flower in her hair, had grabbed his arm to stop him. A moment later, the worst person in the entire school dashed past Severus, with his dim witted sidekick waddling after him. Potter and Pettigrew were both trying to get Black’s attention, yet for once Black was avoiding them like the plague. 

“No, mates. I’ve told you. After how this summer went, the howlers are only going to get worse.”

“Sirius, you have to see this. You need to come to the Great Hall now!” 

“Forget it, just fill me in on the details later, and I’ll-”

_ “She’s back!”  _

At the same time Severus and Lily stopped walking, so too did Black. He slowly turned in place to look at his friends, as though they had just told him the school was shutting down. His face was slowly morphing into an expression of mingled horror and rage. He shook his head slowly. “No. No, she can’t be-”

“Come with us!” Pettigrew yelped, grabbing Black’s hand and yanking him into the Great Hall. Lily and Severus exchanged a look before they followed suit. Regrettably, they would be forced to part ways once they sat down at their respective tables, but not before they caught sight of what was making Potter’s gang so antsy. 

There, sitting in the seat she had vacated during exams last year...was Professor Quill.

Severus almost didn’t recognize her at first. Lily made a sound of fear beside him, and she wasn’t the only one. Severus gasps were erupting as people entered the hall. But whether it was due to Quill’s presence or her physical appearance, Severus could not be sure. One thing was certain, however. She did not look well. 

“What’s she doing here?” Lily breathed beside him. “I thought she was wanted by the Ministry.” 

“What happened to her?” Marlene McKinnon had appeared beside Lily. “What happened to her _ face _ ?” 

Lily shook her head. “Dont know, she looks like Frankenstein’s monster. What could have done that and not finished the job?” 

Quill’s face, once entirely mundane, now had scarring sprawled across her features. Bandages were bound around her neck, and perhaps knowing the fear her appearance inspired, she looked unusually sullen. On one side of her sat Professor McGonagall, who looked, if possible, even less thrilled about who she was dining with. On Quill’s other side was a woman that Severus had never seen before. 

“She can’t.” Came a familiar voice beside Severus, and he jerked to one side as he realized it was Potter. “She can’t be here. There’s no way. Not after what she’s done.” 

“And here I was thinking that Hogwarts would be a relief after my mother.” Black scoffed. “Out of the frying pan and into the floo…” 

“We need to find Remus!” Pettigrew squeaked, and he departed the crowd that was forming, followed by Potter’s gang. Lily exchanged a glance with Severus and nodded to him, her message being clear that they would talk later, before she disappeared into the crowd with McKinnon. Left by his lonesome, Severus sighed and approached the Slytherin table. 

Sitting down between Thalia and Estaban, his eyes scanned the table for Soomin Crowe. Sure enough, there she was, her chin resting in her palms. Looking just as miserable as her aunt at seeing the latter’s return. Severus turned to Thalia. “Any idea what’s going on?” 

She shook her head. “No, but I expect Dumbledore will explain it all away. That’s what he does best, right?” She rolled her eyes. 

Esteban chimed in on Severus’ other side. “Don’t bother asking Soomin. We already did. She told us to go stick our wands where the sun doesn’t shine.” 

“What a shock.” Severus muttered, giving another sideline glance at Soomin, before settling down to wait. After the Sorting was over, Albus Dumbledore did indeed step forward. As if he could sense the discourse among his students, he did not even try to bury the lead. 

“As you have no doubt noticed, Professor Quill has suffered a serious accident. Her administrative leave lasted longer than we initially anticipated, and over the summer holiday she had a nasty run-in with a Nundu. To those of you studying Care of Magical Creatures, you know how dangerous they can be. Professor Quill is lucky to be alive, and despite her condition, she insisted upon returning to continue her work educating young witches and wizards. However, she will not have to do so alone. May I introduce-” 

“Please, Albus. Nothing fancy.” The woman beside Quill jumped to her feet. She had thick, dark hair which she kept out of her face with a scarlet headband, and equally dark skin. She gave the Headmaster the smile of an old friend, before she turned to address the students. 

“I don’t fuss with titles and formalities, I insist you call me Iris. None of this “Professor this” or “Professor that” you understand? I play on a first name basis. Viola and I will be co-opting Defense Against the Dark Arts this year. Now, let’s be clear, I may play nice...but I am still, for all intents and purposes, a teacher at this school. So don’t take advantage of my patience, and I’m sure we’ll be great friends. Deal?” She held up two hands in the thumbs up gesture, before sitting back down. 

There was a thumping sound nearby. Severus turned his head at the same time Esteban did, to see that Soomin had let her head drop to the table. Severus and Esteban exchanged a glance, but said nothing. With a deep breath, Severus turned in place to stare out at the other tables of students, and the staff. Dumbledore was still talking, but now it was the usual spiel about staying out of The Forbidden Forest and about winning the House Cup. Severus’ gaze settled on the disfigured face of Professor Quill. In that moment, she tilted her head and caught his eye. 

Gulping slightly, Severus looked down. Whatever was going on at Hogwarts...it was just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, I've been waiting to write Petunia, can you tell? I also feel like this is the first chapter to really explore Snape and Lily's relationship, which has always been a tricky one to manage. 
> 
> Oh yeah, and Quill's back. Betcha didn't see that coming. (Lol, you probably did.) 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Lily should be next in the narration line.


	12. The House of Crowe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seeking to learn more about Soomin's friendship with Lapis, Lily investigates the sinister family that surrounds her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, when I first planned this fic, I kind of imagined having a weekly upload schedule. Ahaha, what a funny little dream that was. In all seriousness, I am going to try to update more frequently. I do mean that, though I recognize that I've said this before, and that every fanfic author ever has also said it before. 
> 
> Time to check in with Lily, and see how she's doing. I struggled for a bit with some of the sections, but if nothing else, I think it does a good job of following her arc in this story. Let's dive in!

“ _ The more you take, the more you leave behind. _ ” 

Lily said nothing at first. She had nothing to say. Staring at the Knocker with increasing confusion. Once upon a time, Lapis had invited her to visit the Ravenclaw Common Room whenever she fancied. Assured her that there was no password, that anyone could enter Ravenclaw Tower if they were clever enough. Lily had been half-expecting some kind of trivia question from one of her classes. Not...this. 

True, it was unquestionably against the rules to visit another House’s Common Room. That had been made rudely apparent to her by Lucius Malfoy in the first two weeks of term last year, when she had attempted to visit Severus. But later in the year, it had transpired that this rule did not hold water. It was theoretically true, but rarely enforced. Lapis claimed to visit Frank in the Hufflepuff Basement all the time. To hear Frank tell it, she was better at opening up his Common Room than he was. And Hufflepuff, supposedly, didn’t have a password either. 

So why was Ravenclaw such a challenge? 

“It has to be something...something that refills. Or doesn’t? Like if you...if you tried to fill a bucket with water, but the bucket was full of holes? The more you fill it, the more water gets left behind? Well, no, I don’t reckon that makes much sense...listen, I’m just trying to see a friend. I promise not to cause trouble. Can you please let me in?” 

The Knocker, shaped like the head of an eagle, did not respond.

Lily gave a groan and scratched her head slightly. Careful not to dislodge the beautiful flower that had been given to her at the start of term. Though there were some bumps in the road, she had never been more grateful to have Severus by her side. He wasn’t perfect, she could see that now...but at least he was consistent. Lily had written to several people over the summer, and though Lapis had replied, there was definitely not as much correspondence as there had been with Mary, or even Frank. She hadn’t written to Severus, but it hadn’t exactly been necessary. He wasn’t a friend from school - he predated school. 

It was why Lily felt so uneasy about keeping secrets from him. But Professor Dumbledore had insisted that the passage underneath the Whomping Willow was crucial to protect the safety of “one of her peers” and that if she valued his safety, she must not speak of the passage to anyone. Incidentally, students had recently been forbidden to go anywhere near the Willow, though perhaps that had something to do with the boy who had nearly had half his face taken off and was now in the Hospital Wing. 

So no, Lily had honored the Headmaster’s wishes and left out the details about the secret passage...even if Dumbledore hadn’t been very forthcoming about what it all meant. Lily had pelted him with questions, but he had simply declined to say anything under the reasoning that it was “not his secret to share.” Whatever that meant. She could only assume that the passage was some kind of escape route, in case whatever dangerous figure Hogwarts was hiding was discovered by outside forces. But that person...it had to be Quill, right? Or was it Remus Lupin? Was that why Quill had tried to abduct him? 

None of it made any sense. Which was why Lily longed to talk to her friend. The one who had set her down this path in the first place. Lapis Tilandr had been cleared to leave the Hospital Wing shortly before term had ended last year, and by the sound of her letters, she had made a full recovery from whatever curse afflicted her. At one point, Lily might have felt inclined to violate her promise and share the secret of the Whomping Willow’s passage with Lapis, but the Ravenclaw girl hadn’t exactly been honest with her about all this...about a lot, the more she thought about it. 

Succumbing to impatience, Lily gave a furious knock on the door. “Come on!” But this proved ineffective. Glancing around, she straightened out her robes and considered the riddle again. Her classes were done for the day but it would be dinner time soon, and she wanted to catch Lapis in a quieter environment if it was at all possible. “The more I take, the more I leave behind...so it’s something that has an equal weight of giving and receiving. Like a trade!” She hesitated. That wasn’t quite right either. The wording suggested that a near-infinite number of these “trades” was possible. It had to be something more basic than that. Fundamental. 

“Is it, like...life and death? The more people are born, the more that die? Okay, no...probably too morbid...ugh, I hate talking to myself, can’t you at least carry on a conversation?” 

“ _ If you wish to explain your answer, I shall always listen. Are you ready to submit a hypothesis? _ ” 

Lily leaned back slightly, not having expected the Knocker to actually respond. “Alright then. Let’s see...I’m going to go with…” She took a deep breath. “Farming. That is, planting things. Sowing seeds. Like the phrase, you reap what you sow. The more food you plant, the more you have to eat.” She rested her hands on her hips with a small grin, convinced she had cracked the code. 

“ _ To surmise, the more you give, the more you receive. However, the riddle was “the more you take, the more you leave behind. _ ” The Knocker countered in it’s dreadfully singsong tone, leaving a crestfallen Lily to rest her head against the wall. “However, your analysis will take you far. Keep trying.” 

“Keep trying?” Lily snapped. “What’s the point of being able to reason with you, if you won’t accept anything but a precise answer?” 

“ _ You’ll simply have to use better reasoning. The answer is there, all you must do is find it. _ ”

With another childish grunt, Lily pulled back from the wall and began to pace in circles. It was something she often did, and had noticed in Dumbledore’s office last year, that he did as well. Walking to provoke thought. For whatever reason, it just helped; it always had. Chewing on her lip, Lily struggled to focus but her brain did not seem interested in going over what she knew again and again. Too much easier to get distracted by the smallest things. Like the soup stain on the sleeve of her robes. Like the ghost across the corridor who kept playing with her hair. Like the pattern on the carpet, which drilled a hole in Lily’s brain, as she circled again and again, not even leaving any-

“Footsteps.” She looked up so fast that her neck made a disjointed cracking sound. “Footsteps. The more steps you take, the more footprints you leave behind.” She waited for the Knocker to respond, but it did not. Perhaps it was considering her answer. “Oh come off it,” Lily threw up her arms. “That hit all of the bases! You’ve got to let me in.” 

“ _...Not the answer I was waiting for, but you are correct. It matches the question in every detail. Well done. _ ” Lily felt anticipation flood through her as the door finally opened. It had only taken the better part of half an hour. Quickly striding inside, she was immediately stopped in place. The Ravenclaw Common room was positively stunning. 

Wide and round with a domed ceiling, lined with blue and bronze and even sporting a carpet with a starry pattern, it almost felt like an observatory. The architecture was not simply beautiful, it seemed to have a certain elegance, with the way the windows and bookcases were carved. Lily privately felt as though getting sorted into the House of Eagles would have been worth it just to live in this Tower. She wouldn’t have traded being a Gryffindor for anything, but...she could get used to visiting a place like this. If only it wasn’t such a pain to actually get inside. And if only social anxiety did not present such a massive barrier. 

For as soon as she walked in, the lone student reading on the couch looked up and offered a perplexed frown.“You’re no Ravenclaw.” She said. “‘Ow’d you get in? Don’t tell me you outsmarted that knocker.” The girl had thick, square glasses and wore a burgundy colored beanie hat. Despite her gate-checking, Lily did not get a bad vibe off the girl, and offered a weak smile.

“Well I...I wouldn’t say I outsmarted it. More like I BS’d it.” Lily realized her mistake a moment too late. Of all things, slang was difficult to manage. Her friends at home did not understand the lingo she picked up at school, nor vice versa. “That is...I guess I just got lucky, y’know?” 

The girl in the beanie hat smiled, jumping to her feet. “I know that feeling. Ahh, to tell the truth…” She unfurled her scarf and Lily’s eyes widened. The crest on her robes was of a badger, not an eagle. “Think I just got lucky meself. Friend of mine gave me the basics of ‘ow to get inside, but I just threw out guess after guess until...ahh, I reckon the Knocker just got tired of beatin’ me down.” She shuffled in place slightly, drawing a bit closer and sticking out her hand. Lily got the impression that, much like Severus, this girl was socially awkward. She smiled more, however. 

Lily shook her hand, glancing around nervously. “So, I guess we’re both outsiders, then. What are you doing here?” 

The girl gave a toothy grin. “Two guppies out of water, yeah? I’m ‘ere to see my friend, but I checked all the girl’s dormitories n she weren’t there. S’pose she could be in the boys but I dunno ‘oo she’d be seeing, far as I can tell the only bloke she gives the time of day is that Frank feller.” 

Lily was nodding along and listening, before she did a double take. “Are you...talking about Lapis?” 

The girl in the beanie clapped and pointed. “That’s the one! Tiny thing with the black plait and them wicked glasses. She still won’t let me try em on. Ah, she’s a love, but mighty reclusive...specially this year...oh, scuse me, I totally forgot! Name’s Fawley, Alice Fawley.” 

Lily hesitated slightly. Lapis had never mentioned Alice, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. For as much time as Severus spent with those other Slytherins, he never talked about them unless Lily brought it up. On the other hand, there was Potter’s gang. When one of them was missing, it seemed like all they could talk about was the absentee. If Lapis knew Alice...and hadn’t mentioned her…

“I’m Lily.” She nodded solemnly. “Lily Evans, from Gryffindor. Are you in my year? I can’t remember seeing you in classes…” 

The brightened look in Alice’ dark eyes caused a strange feeling in the pit of Lily’s stomach as she clapped again. “Oi, you’re Lily? The famous Lily?” Alice let out a belly laugh and abruptly grabbed Lily in a bear hug. “Blimey, Lapis never shuts up about you.” She snickered slightly. “I’d reckon she fancied you if she weren't so mad for Frank. We finally meet!” 

So...Lapis did think of her. Talk about her too. A lot, evidently. So why was she pulling away so much? The hope that had lit up inside her was still mingled with a sense of dread. The two feelings, like so many others, were at war within her heart. Suspicion and loyalty now met on the battlefield as well. Alice took a deep breath, adjusting her spectacles. “I don’t reckon we’re in the same year, by the way. Lapis and I mostly ‘ang out in the Library, she’s a year below me, so if you two are in the same year…” 

“Then you’re a third year. Got it.” Lily nodded. Well, it explained why she’d never seen Alice before. Much like Frank, Lily felt inclined to trust the girl at a single glance. Then again, she’d felt the same way about Lapis. She still wasn’t sure these days, if it was the right decision. Perhaps her new friend could shed some light on the subject. “Here, would you walk with me? I’m very worried about Lapis, so if there’s anything you know…” 

Alice instantly shuffled forward, clapping Lily’s right. “Right then, off we go. Just ‘ope no Ravenclaws see us sneakin our way out. It makes the staff proper cross if we go into other ‘ouses. Mighty exclusive if you ask me, but what do I know, me parents work in the Improper Use o’ Magic Office.” She snickered, leading Lily to the door, but right as they got there, they froze in place. The Knocker was speaking. 

“ _ Eyes wide open, yet we cannot see. _ ” 

A second voice, soft and musical, spoke up in response. “Is that supposed to be in humor? Or is it pure coincidence that you posed this question to me of all people?” 

“ _ I was saving it for someone who would appreciate it. _ ” The Knocker responded in the same singsong tone, yet with a hint of playfulness for the first time. But Lily barely heard it. Her hand shot out to stop Alice in place. Because this time, the person trying to enter the Common Room was in fact, a Ravenclaw. The one who Lily had been looking for. 

“You flatter me dear, but never mind. I know better than most people that sight can have multiple meanings.” Lapis seemed to hesitate, judging by the silence, before she continued. “Beyond that...as a general concept, people seem to love eyes. Have you noticed? They frequently apply the term to christen various things that have nothing to do with anatomy…’The eye of the storm’ comes to mind. That’s a possibility - no one can see if a storm becomes too strong.” 

“ _ Is that your final answer? _ ” The Knocker almost sounded amused. 

“No, if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that you almost never accept our first submission, do you?” 

“ _ How else would I provoke critical thinking? _ ” 

“Fair enough. Well, as I said, almost anything with circular shape can be considered an “eye.” But as I’m rather exhausted, how about I just give the first example that pops into my head, such as...needles, and we can call it even. Is that alright?” 

“ _ It fulfils the riddle. I suppose I must accept it. _ ” 

“Much appreciated.” Lapis voice carried the hint of a laugh, and Lily felt her heart skip a beat as the door opened. There she was - gripping the sides of the door and wandering into the Common Room. Glancing around as though waiting for someone to greet her, perhaps to check if anyone else was inside. Lily did not waste any time. 

“Lapis! Er, surprise. It’s me! Alice and I were just talking about you.” 

Lapis grinned, adjusting her wing-tipped sunglasses. “About time too. How long ago was it that I explained to you how to visit me?” Lily felt herself exhaling slowly and peacefully - if nothing else, Lapis did seem pleased to see her. Moving forward to hug her friend, Lily thought to herself, if she could just play this carefully, maybe she could warm Lapis up to the point where she’d be willing to let her in. 

Alice had other plans. “Oi mate, you’ve got some explaining to do.” She moved to grip both Lily and Lapis in another bear hug. Wasting no time, she tugged them over to the nearest sofa. “Come on now, I told you I weren’t being paranoid - Lily’s worried too!” She firmly sat Lapis down so that she was between her two friends. “So spill it already, what’s the story?” 

Lily shot Alice a stern expression. “Get right to the point, don’t you?” Lapis had, as Lily could have guessed, gone very quiet, bowing her head, mumbling something about not having a story to tell. One of a hundred different excuses that Lily had seen in letters from both Lapis and even Frank. 

For her part, Alice shrugged. “Life’s short. Come on Lap, we’re your friends. Time was, you trusted us. What’s ‘appened? What’s the deal with you and Soomin?” 

Lily said nothing, she simply dropped her hand and moved it to find Lapis’ and give it a squeeze. What was it that her mum had called this style? Good cop, bad cop? Something like that. Did wizards have cops? Well...if it worked, then it worked. 

Lapis was shaking her head, so Lily decided to intervene. “Alice, we already know the deal. They used to be friends. If she doesn’t want to tell us about it, she doesn’t have to. I guess all I want to know is…” Lily broke off for a second, biting the inside of her cheek. “Why didn't you tell me? Er, us. That is. Why didn’t you tell us? Also, I didn’t know you two were friends. That is, I didn’t know Alice. How much….does she know? About...y’know, everything-”

“She knows about Project Luna.” Lapis finished, tightly holding her hands together in her lap. Little by little, it seemed she was curling up into a ball. “She caught Frank trying to break into Quill’s classroom at the end of last year, and promised not to tell anyone.” At this, Alice gave a smirk and waved a dismissive hand, as if to signal to Lily that Lapis was talking her up. 

Lily squeezed Lapis’ hand one more time. “Right...and Soomin? Quill?” 

Lapis took a deep breath, and Lily herself felt as though she’d be unable to breath until Lapis released it. Anyone could walk in at this very moment, and see a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff where they didn’t belong. One single person could cut off this conversation at the root. But this was their chance….Lapis exhaled, and so did Lily. “We were all friends...Frank, Soomin and I.” 

“They primarily knew each other through me, but they got along well enough. Soomin and I...we did everything together. Everything. I would wake up early most mornings to see her. Among other things, we...we liked to watch the sunrise.” Lapis slowly rubbed the back of her neck, tilting her head to one side. “She was my very best friend. The person who meant more to me than anyone…” 

Lily and Alice exchanged a glance. Lapis’ tone was oddly thick, it had taken an octave that Lily had scarcely heard from the quiet girl before...the only other time she’d seen Lapis like this was in the Pensieve. Lily opened her mouth to intervene, to tell Lapis it was okay if she wanted to stop, but Alice once again signaled her, shaking her head. 

“The one thing we never did was spend time at each other’s homes. That wasn’t allowed, and at the time I didn’t question it. My Dad is a lovely man, but he’s about as strict as Professor McGonagall...only slightly less strict than Frank’s mum, really. So I thought nothing of it. I should have, because Frank was always welcome. So were other neighborhood kids. It was only Soomin that was banned from coming over. Truth is, he could see what I was blind to.” Lapis hesitated, and cringed slightly. “I heard it, I heard it the moment I said it...don’t you dare, Alice.” 

Alice had the look of someone who was bursting to make a joke, but then stopped, mumbling an apology. Lapis sighed before gathering herself to continue. “I don’t need to tell you what she’s like, Lily. The way she treats you is unspeakable, and she’s not much nicer to her friends. I was in denial for a long time, but in the last year before we started school, it really got out of hand. We grew apart, and eventually my Dad took me aside and explained the truth.” 

“Which was…?” Alice raised her eyebrows, pushing her beanie up slightly. 

Lapis took another deep breath. “Lily, Alice...what do the two of you know about the House of Crowe?” 

Lily frowned. Was that supposed to mean something? Alice was rolling her eyes like she recognized the term. “Their house? Like, the one they lived in? Did he tell you why you weren’t allowed to visit?” 

“No, no. The family. I’m talking about the family. Soomin’s family. They call themselves the House of Crowe. It’s quite old-fashioned, to put it lightly. No wizarding family has called themselves a “house” in...centuries, I do believe.” Tilting her head in Lily’s direction to address her, Lapis continued. “You ever wonder why the four groups of Hogwarts students are called ‘Houses?’ This is why. They’re named for the four founders of the school - when it was built, referring to one’s family as a House was still in common practice.” 

Alice made a face like she was smelling something rotten, and snorted. “Yeah, I’ve ‘eard of em. Nasty piece of work, they are. What ‘appened to Lapis ain’t exactly uncommon. The Crowes do this a lot - make some friends and then burn the bridge, merlin knows why.” 

Lapis winced and shook her head slightly. “I didn’t want to frighten you, Lily. Most Anti-Muggle sentiment is limited to banning muggle-born children from Hogwarts, the kind of drivel you’ve unfortunately faced before...but some people take it a step further. There are witches and wizards who believe muggles…” Lapis’ voice broke slightly. “That muggles should be hunted down and...and exterminated. Normally, they keep these ideas behind closed doors...but not the Crowes. They don’t care. They wear this hatred like a badge of honor. It’s terrible, and I didn’t know for a long time. When my Dad told me, I went to Soomin. I confronted her. I had to see for myself if it was true. I thought...even if it was, Soomin would never be a part of it. That she was different.” Lapis seemed to sway in place slightly, and Lily could do nothing but hug her. “...I was wrong.” 

The Ravenclaw Common Room fell silent after that. Lily could feel her hands shaking as she embraced Lapis, as the smaller girl finally succumbed to emotion and wept against her shoulder. At some point, other Ravenclaws began to appear from the doorway, but perhaps out of respect for what was going on, no one objected to Lily and Alice being there. Or perhaps the rumors were true, and no one really cared. Either way, Lily lifted her head and stared at the enchanted ceiling. Her brain felt like it was on fire. 

It was a shock, yet a quiet shock. She didn’t feel as though her world had turned upside down. Because after all she had seen, it was hardly outside the realm of possibility. She had simply never let her mind off the leash to wander this far. It was a nightmare reality, beyond anything she could have imagined...but it was there. Of course it was there. It had always been there - the human condition perhaps, to hate and fear what was different. Lily had seen it before, learned about it in primary school. Why should the wizarding world be any different? If there were wizards who wanted her gone...why wouldn’t there be wizards who wanted her dead? 

At the end of the day, that wasn’t what frightened her, and she had a funny feeling that wasn’t what Lapis had meant. No, Lily had taken the meaning quite clearly. It wasn’t the existence of such hatred...it was how tolerated it was. Being “Anti-Muggle” was...socially acceptable. It blew her mind and broke her heart all at once. Lapis was the one who was crying, but Lily felt as though perhaps she was beyond tears. There was a small voice screaming from deep within her, yet it was muffled by the invisible chains of the existence she had. 

Sure, “The House of Crowe” might be considered “extremists” but that was hardly comforting, because all it meant was that hating other human beings was allowed, even considered understandable, so long as it was in moderation. Too far, perhaps, to slaughter non-magical people...disliking them, distrusting them...seeking to limit their rights...that was okay? Lily felt a sudden surge of affection for any witch or wizard who self-identified as a “blood traitor.” But even the term itself was telling...blood traitor? Just what were they betraying?  _ Who  _ were they betraying, by choosing to treat all human beings with equal value?

After a while, Lapis had calmed down. Both she and Alice asked several times if Lily was feeling alright. And Lily, taking a page from Lapis’ book, lied through her teeth. Reassuring them that she was fine. Which she was, but she wasn’t. She wanted to talk to Severus, yet got the horrible feeling that he would not understand, could never understand. Lapis was a better choice, and yet...no. She wouldn’t understand either. Lily needed to talk to someone who would. Another muggle-born, perhaps...but how would she find one when, to hear Frank tell it, most of them kept that bit of personal information to themselves? 

“Where does Quill fit into all of this?” Lily finally asked, glancing between Lapis and Alice. “Because she’s a Crowe too. Or at least, she was. If there’s still someone dangerous being kept at Hogwarts, I reckon Quill knows who it is. Was she the one who cursed you?”

Lapis was slowly rubbing her temples, her dark eyes narrowing. “I am  _ certain _ that it was her. I have no proof, and I still can’t remember that night, but...Dad warned me about her too. Told me all sorts of horrible stories. Quill is a monster. She must have known I would keep an eye on her, and I doubt she would hesitate to silence me.” 

“Did you know ‘er, then? Before ‘Ogwarts?” Alice cocked her head. 

“We...crossed paths, once or twice. I didn’t know her like I knew Soomin. But I had a bad feeling about her appointment, and if she really did kidnap a student, then I was right. But for whatever reason, Professor Dumbledore refuses to dismiss her.” Lapis shook her head, and her breathing pattern abruptly changed.To Lily’s surprise...she had started to laugh. 

“But there was no way my parents were going to leave me unprotected, not with Soomin and Quill on the loose. When I told them the rumors, they had a meeting with the Hogwarts staff.” 

Alice was scratching her head. “Not really gettin’ the joke, mate.” 

Lapis shifted in place, and draped an arm around both of her companions, to pull them in closer. Adopting a lower register like she was sharing a secret. “Iris...the new co-Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts...you think she’s really here to help Quill? Not in a thousand years, oh no. Allegations of kidnapping are quite a serious thing, and it seems that the Ministry was already looking into Professor Quill. So my father struck a deal with Professor Dumbledore, and a man called Bartimaeus Crouch. Quill is allowed to stay...under supervision.” 

Lily’s eyes widened, and she burrowed herself closer to Lapis against the cushions. “So that woman, she’s from the Ministry of Magic?” 

Lapis nodded softly. “Sits on the Wizengamot Court, and our Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher will earn herself a trial with an eye-witness ready, if she steps one toe out of line.” Lapis was still chuckling to herself. “Don’t tell anyone, the last thing we need is for more information to feed into the cycle of rumors. If any of this reaches Quill’s ear…” 

“Got it.” Alice smirked, lightly shoving Lapis. “You clever thing, no wonder the ‘At sorted you ‘ere. But wait a mo, there’s still this Iris person. Not to call out the Ministry or nothin, but me parents’ ‘ave worked there for years and...believe you me, they ain’t the sharpest bunch. The stories I could tell…” She shook her head. “Ow can we be sure that Iris is trustworthy? Or that she’ll be able to stand up to Quill if the time comes?” 

Lapis had stopped giggling, but retained an obvious good mood. “I have total confidence in Iris’ abilities. I’ve gotten to know her character very well in the twelve years she’s spent raising me.” The truth struck Lily like a bolt of lightning, but Alice was still frowning. When she voiced confusion, Lapis grinned and leaned closer. “Her full name is Iris Tilandr. She’s my mother.” 

As the month of September came to a close, Lily was in far better spirits than she had been at the beginning. She and Severus were doing better than ever, she was talking to Lapis again, really, properly talking to her...and she had another new friend in Alice Fawley. A friend who took to Peanut at once. Mary and Marlene had already been on Lily’s case after Peanut had nibbled his way through their pillowcases, and Lily had been searching in vain for someone to take him in. Alice was only too happy to adopt him. 

A dark cloud still lingered over Lily’s heart after what she had learned about Soomin and her family, but as October rolled in, Lily refused to let such thoughts plague her. She wanted to focus on better things. Yet it was difficult. Difficult not to look at Soomin and dwell on what she was surely thinking. Difficult not to dwell on knowing that this girl, who hated her so much for no logical reason, was in fact Quill’s niece. Had once called Lapis - sweet, kind, gentle Lapis...her best mate. 

It made no sense. None of it made any sense. She had never once seen Lapis and Soomin interact, how could they have been as close as they were, and simply leave it all behind? It wasn’t like what Lily had with Tuney - they were in the same school! Lily didn’t want to press Lapis for details, but she had been so vague about how the falling out had actually occurred...

Having the chance to observe everyone, Lily noticed how Soomin and Quill appeared to ignore each other entirely. Even Iris, for as kind and welcoming as she was to most students - even laughing at the majority of the pranks committed by Potter’s gang - seemed to avoid Soomin as well, though when they did communicate, she maintained that open, friendly demeanor. For her part, Soomin did not engage. She did not seem to be engaging with anyone much at all anymore. 

Deep down, Lily knew it shouldn’t have bothered her. Soomin was a terrible person, even Lapis’ father had been able to tell. It wasn’t like she, Lily, needed any more evidence. Everything seemed crystal clear now. Quill had laid that curse upon Lapis, and Soomin...well, Lily had seen it in her eyes that night. She’d recognized the spell. Perhaps Soomin wasn’t responsible for cursing Lapis, but she had known who was responsible and said nothing. As far as Lily was concerned, it was just as bad. 

Apart from Frank Longbottom, she shared what she had learned with no one except Severus. He was and would always be her confidante, after all. The only thing she left out was what she had learned about Soomin’s family. It appeared to be common knowledge anyway - both Mary and Marlene had some idea of “The House of Crowe” when she had discussed it with them. Talking about it with Severus just didn’t feel quite so easy. Though she couldn’t even begin to fathom why, he still seemed to hold a shred of respect for Quill, even after everything she had done. 

Wizards were weird. Or perhaps it was just boys. That was possible too. 

It was on the first weekend of October that Lily finally broke silence. She and Severus were on their way to the Library, “ _ minding our own business _ ” she thought bitterly, when a gang of older Slytherins passed by in the hall. From within the group, a jet of light shot out, and Lily found her knees buckling. Her book bag spilled, and her face hit the floor.The jelly-legs jinx was perfectly timed, with no way to know who had cast it. Severus dropped everything he was holding in a failed attempt to catch her, and the Slytherins all ran off. All except one. 

Soomin Crowe, it seemed, had hung back. Lily hadn’t even noticed her in the crowd at first, but now she felt as though the mystery of who had jinxed her was solved. Glaring at Soomin as Severus fumbled to cast the counterspell, she finally got to her feet, straightening herself out. “Real funny, Crowe. Hilarious.” 

“Wasn’t me. Soomin growled, stuffing her hands into her robes as Severus began to gather all of Lily’s books and replace them in the bag. “You can’t think I’m the only one at this school who wishes you were gone, right?” 

“Shut it, Soomin. You’re the one everyone hates.” Severus retorted from the floor, with a snarl in his tone. 

Soomin laughed. “Don’t tell me you thought this was  _ my _ problem, Evans? Because it’s you. You’re the problem, and I’m hardly the only one who can see it. The only reason you’re even still alive is because hurting you too badly would get someone expelled. That’s politics for you.” 

Soomin then made a sharp movement, jerking herself to the left to evade a jet of white light. Severus had jumped to his feet and drawn his wand. Lily shot her arm out to catch his hand. “Sev, no…it’s okay. She’s right. People hate me. I know it’s true.” 

“They shouldn’t.” Severus growled, not lowering his wand until Lily squeezed his hand. At which point he appeared to slacken and lose all tension. His arm fell loosely by his side, and he spoke in a weaker tone. “It isn’t right. You’re...you’re one of us. That should be enough…” 

Soomin was shaking her head, still snickering at the end of the corridor, as Lily turned back to face her. The time to run and hide was over. “I know everything now, Soomin. About you and Lapis.” 

Soomin stopped laughing. 

“She told me about you. How the two of you were friends. Close friends. Like. Like sisters.” Lily’s voice shook slightly, as she struggled not to think of Tuney. 

Soomin stayed quiet for a very long time, as though weighing the different choices available to her. Her hands were still in her robes, and the odds that she would draw her wand probably weren’t slim. Lily also wondered if she might turn around and leave. But maybe she didn’t want to retreat. Maybe that would have felt like cowardice. Maybe Soomin, like Lily, had decided to face this head on. 

“...We were closer than sisters.” Soomin spoke at last, but remained of few words. 

Lily was not satisfied. “Soomin, tell me something.” 

“Go to hell, Evans.” 

“Why did you two fall out?” 

At that point, Severus interjected, rolling his eyes. “That’s no wonder, is it? She’s driven off every pity-friend she’s ever had.” 

“Shut your mouths, both of you!” Sure enough, Soomin had drawn her wand. Lily, however, was hoping to avoid confrontation. As much as she hated Soomin, she didn’t want to hurt her. She just wanted to understand. Wanted to hear both sides of the story. Because it was only fair. Because if Lapis had seen something in her, she couldn’t be all bad, surely…? And because despite how much Lapis had opened up to her, Lily still had the faintest suspicion that there was more to the story. 

“Lapis gave me the general overview, but she sort of skated over the very end.” 

“Then maybe you should let it go.” Soomin’s tone was icy. 

“Not happening.” Lily snapped. “Because this is more than your history with her. She’s been hurt before. I can accept that this is your business, and not mine. But this goes deeper than you, me, or Lapis. I want to know what Quill did to her.” 

“ _ Furnunculus! _ ” 

Lily hit the ground. Severus had grabbed her by the midsection and yanked her down to dodge Soomin’s curse. But the Gryffindor girl was not finished. She jumped right back up to her feet and leveled her wand. “The two of you were ‘closer than sisters'' eh? Then why didn’t you say anything when Quill attacked her?” 

“Evans, I’m warning you-” 

“What happened? You must have cared about her at some point, you did everything together. For years. Or was all of that a lie? Why did you turn your back on her?” 

“If you’re so sure this is all my fault, what do you even want my side of the story for?” Soomin nearly shouted, before spitting on the ground. 

“Figures you’d put it all on Tilandr.” Severus rolled his dark eyes, and reached out for Lily’s arm. “Come on Lily, she’s not going to tell us anything of value.” 

Lily was shaking her head. She was halfway ready to leave with Severus, but it just...didn’t make sense. “What did she ever do, huh? What could she have possibly done to deserve scorn from the likes of you?” 

The room erupted with the sound of spellwork. Soomin had fired an impediment jinx, and Lily felt her body hit the wall. Severus had shoved her out of the way and taken the spell in her stead. Cringing as she watched him land on the floor with a thud, Lily aimed her own wand. “ _ Expelliarmus! _ ” 

Soomin’s wand went flying, and Lily knew she had no ability to retrieve it without opening herself up to counterfire. Judging by the maddened, humiliated look in Soomin’s eyes...she knew it too. If Lily hadn’t known better, she could have sworn the Slytherin girl was close to tears. “You are...hopeless. Absolutely hopeless, Evans. Just go back to her and swallow all the lies.” Soomin’s eyes shut, and she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “God knows I did.” 

Severus suddenly shuddered beside her, as the impediment jinx wore off. He reached out as though underwater, and Lily offered a hand to help him up. Turning back to Soomin, she frowned. “Nice try, but I know the truth now. About you...and your creepy family.” 

“Coming from muggle-spawn, I wouldn’t be talking.” Soomin shot back, and as Severus opened his mouth to say something nasty in response, she cut him off. “That goes for both of you, by the way. Missed the obvious, have you? Everyone knows, Severus. Everyone knows you aren’t pure. No one ever heard of a “Snape” before, which makes you muggle-spawn too.” 

Lily could tell Severus was seething. Never mind wizarding heritage, his father was a sore subject in general. She knew she had to redirect the conversation. “It’s your family, isn’t it? Quill, and those other horrible people. They pushed you to do whatever it was you did, is that it?” 

“Evans, this is not something you get to push me on. Drop it now, or I’ll show you some real magic.” Lily had never seen Soomin act this way, advancing upon her and Severus like she had gone completely mad, without so much as a wand in her hand. 

“There must have been a reason!” Lily persisted. “Come on, is it because she’s a blood traitor? Is it because she’s...y’know, black?” 

Soomin stopped. The fury on her face was now lined with something else. “Because she’s what?” 

Lily felt her face flushing. The words had tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them, and now she felt tremendously awkward. “Well, she must be...or maybe she’s mixed, I don’t really know.” 

Severus was now glancing between Lily and Soomin. Pressing his lips together. “You mean her ancestry. Look, Lily-”

“Her family is from Egypt, if that’s what you’re asking. What’s that got to do with any of this?” Soomin had tilted her head. For someone who had looked half-mad a moment ago, she was now studying the two of them with an expression that suggested Lily was the nutter. 

“No, I’m asking...I’m asking if your family hates Lapis because she has dark skin?” With how perplexed Soomin looked, Lily was already regretting the question. With a glance around the corridor, she hugged herself a little. Praying no one else would walk by. “I mean,” she quickly added, “You can hardly blame me for assuming racism.You call me slurs all the time.” 

“That...that’s different.” It wasn’t Soomin who had spoken up, but Severus. He glanced toward Lily. “In our world, it’s different. It’s not about how you look.” 

“Well, yeah.” Lily pushed her hair back, shifting weight between both feet. “But Sev, we’re white, we wouldn’t know what it’s like to-” 

“Evans,” Soomin cut her off, looking annoyed. “I could give a shit about your skin tone. Your blood would be filthy no matter what color you were.” 

Seeing the look on Lily’s face, Severus answered her silent question. “Witches and Wizards don’t care about skin color. Or religion. Or if you’re gay. None of that stuff. It’s blood status. It’s all about blood status. It always has been.” 

Soomin was glancing between Lily and Severus. “Are you saying that muggles  _ do _ care about that sort of thing?” Lily said nothing, but the deadened look in Severus’ eyes seemed to answer Soomin’s question. She just shook her head, muttering to herself. “I knew you people were savages, but my god…” 

“Never mind,” Lily shook her head quickly. “If that isn’t it, then why? Tell me why your family hates Lapis.” 

Soomin seemed to reach reflexively for her wand before realizing that it was still several feet away. Severus leveled his wand at her, and she sighed. “It’s not-look. It isn’t Lapis they hate. It’s all of them, okay? The Tilandrs. Bunch of wolves in sheep’s clothing.” 

“No way! They’re really nice!” Lily’s contradiction was instantaneous. Putting the blame on Lapis was one thing, but her family too? “Just look at Iris!” 

Soomin snorted. “If you believe her “cool teacher” act, then I don’t know what to tell you. The woman is two-faced. All of them are. At least my family doesn’t hide it’s true nature. The Tilandrs are self-important, self-righteous pretenders who use us as scapegoats. You won’t see that story in the Daily Prophet. But that’s what goes on.” 

The pause was thick. Almost solid. Lily felt as though she could not move or breath. Such an obvious lie, and yet it left her suffocating. Struggling to breath and speak normally, she found her voice. Found her strength. Made her choice. “...I don’t believe you.” 

Soomin rolled her eyes. “Then why are you bothering me?” 

“Iris and Lapis are good people. Stacked against you and Quill? I’ll take my chances with them, thank you.” Lily fired back. Her face was growing warmer, and yet her neck felt oddly cold. 

Severus folded his arms. “What do you know about the Tilandrs, Soomin? What are they hiding?” 

The Slytherin girl turned away from them, almost like she was laughing to herself. Throwing her head back, she gave an insufferably smug grin. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She crossed the room to pick up her wand. Severus leveled his own, and kept calling for Soomin to stop, to stay where she was, but she paid him no heed. Pocketing her wand, she turned and approached Lily. “Okay Evans, you want to know who your sweet, quiet little friend really is? I’ll tell you, but not here.” She gave a sideline glance to Severus. 

Lily did not move or yield any emotion. “Anything you can say to me, you can say to Severus.” 

“I disagree.” Soomin yawned. “This is highly private stuff, I’ll have you know. But I’ll enjoy watching Lapis go through losing you, and after tonight, she will. Meet me. Midnight. The Forbidden Forest.” Severus began to argue but Soomin talked over him. “Meet me alone. Your guard dog isn’t invited. You bring him, I’ll tell my aunt how close you’ve gotten to uncovering the truth. But if you come alone, I’ll tell you the truth myself. Got it?” 

Severus began to voice counterarguments, began to decline the offer on Lily’s behalf. She was used to this sort of thing. He could get very protective. “You’re lying.” He hissed. “Either that, or your parents lied to you and you’re just parroting it. Doesn’t make much difference. You’re completely mad if you think Lily’s putting herself in that kind of danger!” As soon as he’d stopped talking, Soomin simply looked back at Lily, ignoring everything else. Lily’s heart twisted in place. 

“No, Sev. I’ll do it.” He turned to her with a thunderous expression, but she held up a finger to shush him. “I need to do this. And you can’t come along. I love that you want to, I really do...but if you try to follow me, I will hex you. Understood?” Severus seemed to sag in place, his eyes gazing back into Lily’s with the weakened, pitiful expression that almost looked like someone who’d been left for dead.

Lily gave him a hug, and turned back to face Soomin. “I’ll meet you. But you better tell me everything. If you don’t, I’ll warn Professor Dumbledore that you know who cursed Lapis, and you said nothing. Should be enough to cause an inquiry, and maybe you’d even get expelled. That’s politics.” 

Soomin glanced between Severus and Lily. “Deal. Head to the far-east entrance, away from the oaf’s hut. Walk around one hundred feet in, till you find a tree with a large crack down the center. That’s my favorite reading spot.” 

In the end, Lily recruited Alice to ensure that Severus did not follow her. The third year was happy to lend a hand, and promised to prowl the Slytherin Dungeons from eleven at night to around one in the morning. If caught, her story would be that she was looking for a lost rat. Meanwhile, Lily waited until half-past eleven, and then crept out of Gryffindor Tower, out of the castle, and down the Forbidden Forest. 

“Fifty...fifty one…” She mumbled to herself, lighting her wand and glancing around. Moire than once, she had to brush spiders off of her sleeve. Well, it could be worse. The Forest was dangerous, and it was out-of-bounds...but it couldn’t be that dangerous, surely. It wouldn’t be so close to the school were that the case. Supposedly, Care of Magical Creatures classes were taught here on occasion. She’d even heard rumors of a Sanctuary hidden within the Forest’s depths. The most dangerous creatures were said to be The Centaurs, who disliked humans….but Hagrid had once reassured her that they had a rule about not harming children. 

It would be quick. Lily would be in and out in the span of an hour. If any wild animals caused a problem, well...between Soomin and herself, they probably knew enough magic to keep them at bay and make an escape. All she needed was information. The truth. She couldn’t take it anymore. Just one meeting, and then she’d retreat. 

There it was, a large tree with a jagged crack extending down the center of the trunk. It looked dead. Everything in this area looked dead. Lily shivered, hugging herself a bit more closely and wishing she’d brought a second coat. This was it. This was the place. 

...so where was Soomin? 

Lily waited. And waited. After around ten minutes, she began to think that Soomin must have forgotten to set her alarm, and, her heart heavy with reluctance, she turned to leave. But that was when she heard it. Rustling. The sound of footsteps. But there were...too many, too fast, for that to be one human girl. Centaurs? Had they found her? What was that odd clicking sound? 

Lily turned around again, and extended her arm so the wandlight shone on the trees nearby. The glow illuminated the familiar shape of spiders. Far too many of them. And while the shape was familiar...the size was not. Lily could not help it, she screamed - some of them were the size of small cats. The rustling sound of movement grew louder, it had a deeper resonance. It was all around her. Just like the clicking - it was catching up to her, boring into her mind. She turned to run, but did not make it ten feet before they emerged. Spiders, as big as muggle cars, were advancing upon her. 

Lily was not typically an arachnophobe, but in the years to come, when telling this story, she would argue that anyone in her place would have been overcome by fear. Spiders, she felt, were alright. Not her favorite animal by any means, but tolerable. Spiders in the night, surrounding her? Not quite as pleasant. Spiders that were supersized, to the point where she could see mandibles fast-approaching? Yeah, no. Lily felt the fear drowning her, felt herself losing consciousness. She fainted. 

But just before losing herself, a burst of light burned through the air. Was that the light people spoke of? The light at the end of the tunnel, following a near-death experience? It must have been - for she was going to die, that much was certain. The only question she could even process was how much it would hurt. The spiders were scattering. Screeching. Lily’s eyes slowly shut. 

When she stirred, and finally returned to her sense of awareness, Lily was surprised to learn that she was alive. That she was being held, in something that was by no means a spiderweb. No, it was the embrace of another creature - a human being, thank god. A woman with long dark hair was carrying her. “Wha…” She groaned.

“Oh dear, are you alright? I didn’t find any bites, but just to be safe, you’re going right to the Hospital Wing.” That voice, bright and bubbly, but now laced with concern. It was Iris Tilandr. Lily shifted in place, glancing around. Her surroundings were still dark, but lights blinked in the distance. She was being taken back to Hogwarts. 

“What happened? How did you...how did you find me?” She coughed. 

Iris cradled her closer, like a mother would to a young child. “Was one hell of a battle to drive off those acromantulas. But I was warned about this - got an anonymous tip-off letter in my robes pocket that a student would try to sneak off to The Forest. Then Severus Snape came to me this evening to confirm the story - he really cares about you, by the way. Said you were following a dare...oh Lily, what were you thinking? The Forest is “Forbidden” for a reason, you know!” Despite her stern words, Iris had not taken a stern tone. Lily was not certain she knew how to. “Look, I get it. Seeing a “do not touch” sign just makes a kid want to reach out and touch it, but this is life and death.” 

Lily said nothing, still feeling groggy and disoriented as the truth sunk into her head. Soomin had not showed. Closing her eyes and cursing herself for being so stupid, Lily groaned slowly. Iris did not press her any further. Lily wondered if it was obvious how horrible she felt. Soomin had said it - that the only reason she was alive was because killing her would have consequences. But if a giant spider ate her? Horrible, tragic accident, right? And her curiosity had been so strong that she’d been willing to believe better of her rival. But Soomin, it seemed, really was the same as her family. 

And Iris, whatever Soomin may have claimed, had a good heart. She did as she said, bringing Lily to the Hospital Wing and remaining by her bedside until she had fallen asleep again. Her dreams were fitful and disconnected. She was chasing Lapis through the Forbidden Forest, but Soomin was chasing her. So was Severus. When Lily woke up the next morning, she couldn’t remember the dream at all. All she remembered was that horrible smirk on Soomin’s face. 

This wasn’t over. But Lily knew where she stood. She knew what she was fighting for. Who her friends were. And her enemies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Okay, tell me honestly, how preachy was it? When I was writing her reactions to The Crowe's bigotry, it did start to feel kind of on the nose. But still...it's important, it's true, and it's relevant. I also had a lot of fun acknowledging that racism doesn't exist as we know it in the Potterverse, but that part got a little cringe too. I actually trimmed it down, it was originally longer. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm also glad to have Lily and Lapis back on good terms, as well as flesh out the rivalry between Soomin and Lily. Got to see Snape's protective side, got to see more of Iris, and introducing Alice Fawley! Yes, she is exactly who you think she is, no, I'm not going to be featuring Luca in this fic. They aren't even born yet. Fun fact: Alice was the canon character that I was going to feature in chapter eight before I cut her. 
> 
> The next chapter is going to follow Remus. That is the only teaser you shall get!


	13. My Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following Quill's actions at the end of last year, someone very close to Remus seeks retribution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what's more surprising, how long this chapter is or how quickly I got it done compared to some of the previous wait times. It's a good surprise, though! 
> 
> Let's check in with Remus. After all, we have a lot to catch up on - he hasn't been a viewpoint character since...damn, before Lapis was attacked! It's been a while for my favorite character. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, everyone! Just know that every time someone leaves a comment, my human form is revitalized and I'm granted one additional day before I melt into the blob that is my true form. So leave comments! Do it for my disguise!

Remus, Remus, wake up. Come on, get up. Please. I need you!" 

The young werewolf's eyes snapped open, for the voice was familiar and the plea shot through him like an arrow. Recovering from yet another nightmare, yet another vision of frights that he never wanted to see again. Attempting to blink the darkness away, he rolled over in place, searching for the voice. "Sirius, what is it? What's wrong?" 

"I'll show you." Normally gruff, Sirius' tone was one of terror. A bright glare appeared between them and Remus winced as Sirius held up his wand, aiming the ball of light in the direction of his four poster. "Look, look up there!" Remus followed the light until he stared at the corner of Sirius' bed. Sitting up more and rubbing his eyes, he frowned. "What? What is it? I don't see anything." 

"Look!" Sirius gripped his shoulder more tightly, and his voice shook. Scooting out of the bed and getting to his feet, Remus stared more intently at a small, dark shape. "What's that then, a spider?" 

"No, it's worse! It's much worse!" Sirius, normally loud and proud, was falling to pieces. He turned to hide his face in Remus' neck, and the latter felt his skin tingle. Not just his neck, but seemingly all his joints. "Kill it, please kill it. I can't sleep with that thing just looming over me..." 

Remus gently hugged his friend, seeking to provide comfort if possible, but wondering what could be so bad that...oh. "Sirius, it's only a mosquito." He tried not to sound too frustrated at having been woken. After all, it wasn't like he'd been sleeping soundly anyhow. "It's not going to hurt you." 

"Have you forgotten what mosquitoes do?" Sirius snapped back, moving to curl up on Remus' bed and hug his pillow. "What are you on about, "it's not going to hurt me." It's entire purpose is to drink my blood. I'm the prey! If we had a vampire in the room, would you be this calm?" Sirius suddenly broke off. Remus said nothing, still staring at the insect, but a strange tension hung on the air. Sirius quickly continued on a different tangent. "That is, actually, a vampire would be just fine! Better, actually. Because they'd have a soul and we could talk to them and they wouldn't even think of biting us. Mosquitoes aren't anything like that! They don't care. Bunch of ugly bastards..." 

“Is it hurting you, right now, at this moment?” 

“It’s on my bed! It’s trespassing on private property! It is hurting me. It’s hurting my heart!”

"Right, well...I can try to kill it, but if I miss, it's probably going to go flying off somewhere in the dark-" Remus then raised his voice just slightly, to talk over Sirius' groans of terror, but hopefully not enough to awaken James or Peter. "If that happens, will you be satisfied?" It was primarily a rhetorical question. Remus had very little confidence that Sirius would just accept the outcome. He hadn't the last time. 

"Having a mosquito in the room, knowing what it wants with me...it's like having my mother hovering on the walls. I just, I can't do it Remus. I can't sleep until it's dead. Not unless I can bundle up my entire body in blankets like a little cocoon, so it can't get me. 

"You would suffocate if you did that..." Remus muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose. To his right, he could hear a rustling sound. Had one of the others been disturbed? 

Just then, the quiet voice of James Potter echoed through the silence. "Engorgio." He cast, before dissolving into chuckles. 

Not that anyone in the room heard them, for as soon as the mosquito began to grow, Sirius screeched loud enough to wake everyone in Gryffindor Tower. Remus threw a shoe at the insect, now the size of a baseball, and it took off. Sirius, if it were possible, screamed even louder, somewhat overlapped with James' laughter and Peter's panicked yell as he bolted awake. Several minutes later, the gigantic mosquito was a squished mess on the floor that Sirius refused to go near. He had nearly throttled James for the prank, but by the end of the wrestling match they were hugging and laughing together on the floor. Remus and Peter exchanged a tired glance. Just another morning in the Gryffindor Dormitories. 

Checking the clock, which was due to start blaring christmas carols in less than a half hour, Remus shook his head. He had needed to rise earlier today anyhow - not for classes, because he wasn’t going to be attending them today. No, today, he was to skip his classes and meet someone. Professor Dumbledore had promised to contact all of his teachers, but Remus still had his roommates to think about. Marching over to his trunk, Remus gave a half-glance in the direction of Sirius and James, before turning away to occupy himself with grabbing his socks. They were all having fun, all laughing along - even Peter, albeit nervously - they wouldn’t notice if he slipped away. 

Well, they would probably notice, all things considered. His friends were now seasoned experts at the art of catching Remus in a lie, they had become quite accomplished at this during the previous year. The question wasn’t whether they would notice, it was whether they would care. At one time, Remus had been petrified that his group of friends, the people who actually put up with him and even seemed to like him, would one day leave. As of this year, it felt more and more like such fears were confirmed. That James, Sirius, and Peter had tired of him. 

It was his own fault, and he knew it. He had never been open with them, no matter how much they had indicated that they were waiting on him to be. Remus couldn’t blame his friends for pulling away, for if he looked into his heart, he couldn’t say with honesty that he had been such a great friend himself. But that was the hand he was dealt in life, and he would simply have to make do. Werewolves did not get to have friends, and he had no one to blame but himself for getting his hopes up. He had known better. 

Not that the others had openly disregarded him, of course. They were too polite for that, too nice to say it to his face that they no longer wanted anything to do with him. The process it seemed, was slower and more subtle. He could feel them pulling away. Even though he was almost never alone, Remus worried that his friends’ insistence on walking with him to class or to the Owlery was performative, out of a sense of obligation. Usually, it was just one of them. Last year, the four of them had always walked in a group. But these days, two of them would disappear off somewhere, with the third left behind, presumably having drawn the short straw that day. The previous week, James had pulled Sirius away so the two of them could go “practice Quidditch” but Frank Longbottom had later mentioned in passing that he’d seen them in the Library. 

No matter how much it hurt, Remus stubbornly refused to blame them. Doing so would be easier, it would protect his feelings. But he could not lie to himself, and pretending this wasn’t his fault would only make things hurt more in the long run. This was a lesson to be learned. Next time, he needed to remember that luxuries like friendship were a cut above the life he was allowed. 

There were positives, though, as he struggled to remember. Perhaps now his roommates would take less interest in his schedule. Though this did not seem to be happening so far. Remus still had the feeling that their overprotective behavior arose from a sense of obligation following the incident last year, and that it would fade with time. At least, he could hope that it would. Fewer sets of prying eyes would decrease the amount of stress in his life, and in the process of slowly losing his three best friends, the net gain of stress was already significant. 

Escalating even further as he finished getting dressed, and attempted to leave. Immediately, James caught up with him as he descended the staircase. “Sorry, can’t stay. I’ve got Herbology.” 

James seemed to take this in stride. “Not yet you don’t. Breakfast hasn’t even started yet. Come on, wouldn’t you rather play some Exploding Snap or something?” He’d jumped in front of Remus, who slowly sighed. 

“You really don’t have to do this, James. I appreciate it, but…” Seeing James’ brow crease, Remus felt a stab of fear and quickly backtracked. “That is...I’d like to, but the truth is, I’ve got an appointment this morning, and I’ll probably be busy all day.” 

“Appointment? With your mum? But it’s only…” James seemed to instinctively glance toward the window as the two of them entered the Gryffindor Common Room. “Um, I mean, how is she doing?” Resisting the impulse to wince, Remus could hear Sirius and Peter heading down the stairs behind them. 

He had no real cover story to offer. But that was okay. This time, he would not need one. Because this time, he wasn’t lying. So it didn’t matter if they didn’t believe him. Maybe it didn’t matter anyway. Either way, he really was going to meet with family. But it wouldn’t be his mother, for she could not set foot in Hogwarts with all the enchantments. “I’m meeting my Dad. He wants to talk to Professor Dumbledore about...y’know, the whole Quill thing.” 

“I’ll come.” Sirius’ response was immediate. In another second, he had moved to stand by Remus’ side like a loyal guard dog. “I’ll be your moral support. All of us will.” 

Peter nodded, bounding his way over as well. “Besides, we’ve always wanted to meet your Dad! Especially with all the stories we’ve heard!” 

Now completing the square of children, James moved in closer with a sly smirk. “I’m gonna ask him about the Spaghetti Incident.” 

“You are  _ not _ going to ask him about the Spaghetti Incident!” Remus couldn’t stop himself. “I told you that in confidence!” He tried not to laugh but it was nearly impossible when James had already erupted into one of his belly laughs. “Listen, you lot have class-” 

“And you don’t?” Sirius had joined in with his laugh, which always sounded more like a bark. 

“Not today, Professor Dumbledore has worked it all out with the staff.” 

Peter whistled. “Impressive! How can we get him to do that for us?” 

To Remus’ dismay, the others were nodding along and seeming to agree with the idea.”No no, you can’t. Look, I’ll talk to you tonight, okay? I promise. I’ll tell you everything that happens, but right now I need to go.”

Yet the three of them seemed to have no intention of letting him leave without them. As he exited the Common Room, they persisted in trailing him. All of them could be quite stubborn, particularly Sirius. With how fierce he was about coming along, Remus found himself wondering if Sirius still believed that his parents were mistreating him. But there was no way that simply telling Sirius that this wasn’t so would be enough to convince him…

“Forget it mate. If nothing else, we’re walking you there. Because if there’s three things I love, they’re sunsets, fizzing whizbees, and long walks down dusty corridors.” 

Remus could only rub the bridge of his nose. “Are you serious?” 

“I’m always Sirius. Now come on, we still need to figure out the plan for tomorrow-” 

_ “EEEEEEEEKKK!!”  _

Though they were trying to be quiet, picking up their feet and speaking in low voices, a loud screeching sound suddenly ripped through the air, startling all four of them. “What the?!” Peter spluttered, grabbing hold of Remus as though he was about to fall. “Who said that?!” 

“Exactly what I was wondering, Pettigrew…” Another voice, oily and smooth, had spoken up behind them. Remus looked around, and his heart sank. A sixth year by the name of Lucius Malfoy was approaching them, rubbing his ear. One of the most brazenly unfair Prefects that Remus had ever come across, he seemed to have a particular vendetta against Sirius. 

James winced slightly, and seemed to know exactly what was coming, as Malfoy folded his arms. “Not so fast, gutter rats. You’re already known for causing trouble, but no human could have made that noise. Just what sort of dangerous creature are you hiding in your cloaks? Well, I suppose I’ll see when you hand it over to me. Which you’ll be doing right about...now, I think, yes. And then off to detention. Likely expulsion this time, I should think.” 

Malfoy’s simpering gloat was then interrupted by another loud screech. Remus doubled over in pain, clutching James and Sirius closer out of instinct. Malfoy was right...whatever made that noise...it didn’t sound like a student. 

“We haven’t got a hidden creature.” James snapped back. “If you know that wasn’t a human, then what are you blaming us for?” 

“Careful, Potter. Don’t make things worse for yourself.” 

It took a fair bit of haggling to talk Remus out of being punished as well. Malfoy kept insisting that all four of them had to accompany him to detention, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Even Remus withdrawing Professor Dumbledore’s letter and showing it to Malfoy did not seem to be enough for him. “ _ Why does he need to be convinced that the Headmaster’s word overrules his? _ ” Remus thought with exhaustion. After fifteen minutes of going in circles, James exchanged a glance with Remus, who could tell that he was reaching for his wand. “James, no-” He began to hiss, when-

_ “EEEEEEEKKK!!!”  _

This time, like a blaring express train, the source of the noise came tumbling into the room. Remus felt a blast of icy water as the opaque form of a teenage girl crashed into him - passing right through him, before sliding through Malfoy as well, who flinched back. Sirius glanced around with a frown. “Was that...that was one of the ghosts, right?” 

James glanced between Sirius and Malfoy, before he finally acted, aiming his wand. “ _ Inflicto! _ ” Then something amazing happened - Malfoy’s dominant arm seemed to take on a mind of its own. Swinging upward like a sack of flour, until his hand came down and began to smack him in the face. Repeatedly. As Malfoy yelled and struggled to restrain his own hand, James subsequently yelled. “Split up!” And the four boys ran off in different directions. 

Well, for the most part. As Remus bolted along the corridor, already late for his meeting, wondering what on earth had gotten into the ghost, he could hear someone jogging to catch up to him. At first fearing Malfoy, he realized a moment later that it was James. Blimey, they really weren’t letting him out of their sight, were they? “Handy spell, that.” James was snickering. “Kingsley taught it to me, but don’t let on. He doesn’t want people to know, and apparently I’m only allowed to use it on Prefects who abuse their power. He keeps pretending he and Malfoy don’t despise each other, you know, to be professional and all that. But Kingsley and Malfoy are like...like-

“You and Snape?” Remus smirked slightly, and James shrugged unabashedly. 

“As long as I’m the “Kingsley” in this comparison.” 

“You really think you’re good enough to be Kingsley?” 

“I think he looks up to me, not the other way around.” James folded his arms pompously. “But never mind my masterful spellwork, what the hell was that? D’you reckon that ghost was trying to help us out? 

Remus’ brow furrowed. “I s'pose she could have been...but didn’t it start before Malfoy showed up?” 

James shrugged. “Could have been some sort of spat with another ghost, I guess? Never mind, we can ask around later. In the meantime, which way do we go? It’s only fair if your Dad gets to meet your coolest friend.” He smirked, and Remus’ heart began to sink somewhere into the realm of his intestines...before he heard a familiar voice that never failed to cheer him up. 

“Outgoing and friendly behavior, boastful in a charming fashion...and hair that, with all due respect, could really do with a comb through. Don’t tell me, this young man must be James Potter.” 

Both of the boys turned on the spot to see a dewy-eyed man with a part in his hair. He was standing with his hands in his coat pockets, wearing a bright grin. Remus couldn’t help but dash forward and hug his father round’ the middle, who returned the affection, squeezing him close. “There you are, little rascal. How is everything going?” 

“Things could be worse, but right now they feel so much better. What about you? How’s mum?” 

“She didn’t want me to come in today, thinks I’ll wind up doing something stupid. Can you imagine?” The man known as Lyall Lupin ruffled his son’s hair. 

Remus slowly grinned. “You really want me to answer that?” Which earned him a prodded cheek. 

“Kids today.” Lyall rolled his eyes, before leaning back to address the boy staring at him wide-eyed. “Now then, I take it that banshee scream from a few moments ago was one of your hijinks. You going to shake my hand, James? Or am I completely off and you’re actually someone else?” 

James smiled and gripped Lyall’s hand. “Entirely. My name is Edwin Bittersburg. I know I look young, but only because I overdosed on an aging potion a few nights ago. I’m actually the new Herbology teacher.” 

Lyall sighed. “Yeah, you’re James alright. And…” He glanced behind Remus and James. “This would be Sirius and Peter, I presume?” Sure enough, Remus looked around to see that the remaining two members of Gryffindor Dormitory had now caught up with them. Within a few minutes, both had offered introductions as wildly distinct as James. After greeting “Clovis Sartorius, flobberworm breeder” and “Gerald White, Remus’ secret cousin” Lyall had been reduced to laughing so hard that he was coughing into a handkerchief. 

“Very good, very good. We really need to have you lot over for the holiday sometime. I can’t wait to see Hope’s reaction to those stories...but in the meantime, I daresay breakfast will be starting soon, so don’t let us keep you. We’ll catch up another time...Remus, the Headmaster is waiting for us.” Glancing between his friends, Remus felt a swell of emotion...some of it good, some of it bad. He gave them a smile and a wave as he and Lyall turned to leave. 

However, as they approached the end of the corridor, catching up, Remus had a sudden burst of instinct. Turning his head around to glance behind them, he saw...nothing. But this proved nothing. In fact, it just as easily proved everything. Lyall stopped as well to look around. “What is it?” 

Remus shook his head. “Nothing, just...thought I heard another noise. Anyway, we’re running late so-” He broke off as he turned back around. He and his father proceeded to The Gargoyle statue which stood as guardian over Professor Dumbledore’s office. The Headmaster was waiting for them, along with Professor McGonagall, who just like Remus, was skipping breakfast. As they walked inside, Remus realized that Mcgonagall was in conversation with someone...someone awfully translucent. A heavy-set, mopey sort of girl with thick glasses was sniffling in the corner. 

“Let’s try this one more time, Myrtle. Please, tell me why you decided to scream like that? You awoke the Headmaster, and you thoroughly startled Fawkes.” Remus jumped slightly as McGonagall indicated a gigantic, scarlet bird, who was testily preening on the other side of the room. Eying “Myrtle” as though she was some sort of Predator. 

“But I’ve told you already, Professor! I didn’t do that! This isn’t my fault! I’ve told you already, I just found myself here!” McGonagall started to speak up, but Myrtle continued to blubber. “I’m so tired of everyone treating me this way - like I belong in the garbage! Being dead doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings! Not that anyone cares about my feelings anymore.” 

“Myrtle.” Professor Dumbledore’s voice sounded tired - perhaps this ghost really had woken him up with her screams. “I’m afraid we must postpone this conversation. I have an appointment with the Lupins. There is no need to cry anymore, you are not in trouble.” He added, for Myrtle had opened her mouth once more, probably to do just that. With a loud “hmph!” She darted through the wall and disappeared. 

McGonagall turned back to Remus and Lyall, letting her kind demeanor drop to reflect a more frustrated expression. “Even after more than thirty years, she has not changed.” McGonagall sighed, before addressing Lyall. “But never mind. Come in, please.” She flicked her wand, and two wooden chairs appeared out of thin air for the Lupins to occupy, which they did. At which point, Lyall’s demeanor appeared to shift ever so slightly, becoming colder. But Dumbledore either did not notice this, or chose to ignore it, behaving just as cordial as ever.

Remus could hardly blame his father, though. The time had arrived to discuss the end of last year. If he, Remus, had a child at Hogwarts who had been abducted by one of the staff’s inner circle...and then discovered next year that the same teacher was welcomed back into the school...he might have had a thing or two to say about that as well. 

He could still hardly believe it. Back then, opening the letter from “Madam Pomfrey” instructing him to meet her at the Whomping Willow a little earlier than usual...he’d been so focused on trying to hide the truth from his friends, that he hadn’t noticed how strange it all was. He’d suspected nothing, certainly not foul play from Professor Quill. As terrifying as she was, she had always treated him with a gentler hand. Remus was never certain why Quill had appeared to favor him, when he’d spoken about it with his parents through letters, they had simply shrugged it off as Remus being talented at Defense Against The Dark Arts. But the end of last year had not shed any light on the subject. These days, he had no answers, and twice as many questions. 

“Remus, tell him what happened. I think he needs reminding.” Lyall squeezed his son’s hand, and the young Gryffindor suddenly jumped. He had been spacing out. 

“Well…” Looking between Dumbledore and his father, Remus rubbed the back of his neck. “After I got the letter, I went down to the Willow...and Quill was there. She tried to convince me that there had been a change of plans...but I knew she had never been involved with the routine before, and I just got this bad feeling. I pressed her, and it was like she couldn’t explain what we were doing there, why I was supposed to come down to the grounds in the first place. It was like she didn’t know. That was around the point I panicked, and tried to leave...nothing after that, unconscious...I suppose she stunned me.” 

“Woke up a little later, and heard Quill arguing with Professor McGonagall. I think they dueled as well. Not sure, I was a little out of it, so focused on...well…” Remus bit the inside of his cheek, glancing at Lyall with a pained expression. “You know...trying to stop it. To hold it back. But I couldn’t. I changed, and then...next thing I knew, I was waking up in the Shack. Professor McGonagall filled me in on what I’d missed. That she stunned Quill just before my transformation, and in the effort to secure me in the Shack, she’d lost track of her.” 

He remembered what had happened after that. How he had met up with his friends the following morning and made up with them, admitting to what Quill had done while still keeping a lid on the real truth of the matter. For once, they had seemed to believe him without question. Within a few weeks, everyone seemed to know what Quill had done anyway, not that they knew who she had tried to abduct. No, it was easy to tell his friends about the evil of another person. Not nearly as easy to bring them into confidence about the monster within himself. 

“There, you see?” Lyall turned back to Dumbledore, reaching out to hold his son closer. “Not only did Quill try to kidnap my son, but she interfered with the precautions you set in place for the full moon. The ones you promised Hope and I would keep Remus and everyone else safe. So please, Dumbledore. Tell me why she’s still at Hogwarts. Why she gets a second chance after all of that.” 

“I know why.” 

All eyes turned to look at Remus. He was struggling not to break down. Struggling and failing. His breath rattled, he looked up at Professor McGonagall. “I know why she gets to come back. Why she’s so horribly scarred. It wasn’t a Nundu who did that. I...I did that, didn’t I?” Lyall embraced Remus and soon he was crying into Lyall’s chest, unable to see the reactions of his teachers. Dumbledore looking somber, McGonagall looking stricken. 

“Remus,” Dumbledore spoke up when he had calmed down. “I need you to understand that nothing that happened to Professor Quill that night could ever be your fault. As I said at the beginning of the year, her injuries are the result of a nasty encounter with a dark creature. Not the actions of a young Hogwarts student.” As if he could tell that his vague reassurances were not cutting it, Dumbledore pressed on with more clarity. “I tell you, this was not your doing. She was mauled by a Nundu while she was on the run. When we caught up to her, she expressed remorse for her actions and we arranged a deal.” 

“A deal that involves letting her back into Hogwarts?” Lyall snarled.

This time, it was McGonagall who spoke up, in an oddly clipped voice. “Lyall, why do you think Iris Tilandr is here? Albus...did not make this decision lightly. Not only is Viola under supervision at all times, but she had the Trace placed back on her by the Ministry. If she makes one wrong move, we shall know at once.” 

Dumbledore continued. “Dark times are approaching. The movement against muggles and muggle-borns grows stronger by the day. Very soon, this movement may rise up and challenge the status quo. All they need is someone to rally around...and I regret to say they may have found just the man.” He paused, adjusting his spectacles, and taking a deep breath. Remus’ own breathing felt stuttered as Dumbledore continued. 

“I doubt I need to tell you how serious that would be.” He locked eyes with Lyall for a moment. “Defense Against the Dark Arts is therefore becoming more crucial to the Hogwarts curriculum than ever before. Which means that not only do we need someone adept at teaching, but someone we can trust.” Sensing Lyall about to retort, Dumbledore lifted a hand. “Whatever else she may be, Professor Quill would give her life to combat the Pureblood regime. Her record proves it.. I’m sure Remus has told you - she never allows Anti-Muggle sentiment in her classroom. Considering her upbringing, I find that remarkable.” He took a deep breath. “Viola Quill is simply too valuable where she is. Our students, including Remus, need to learn how to protect themselves.” 

“This isn’t right.” Lyall scowled. “You’re talking like she’s some...some General. Like this is war. This isn’t war, and these children aren’t soldiers. My son is not a soldier.” 

McGonagall spoke up now, sounding quite embittered. “It may be war sooner than we hope. Which is why, despite our misgivings...people like Viola are the best chance we have. If the Purebloods band together, and move for war...it won’t just be Hope who is endangered. So-called “half-breeds” of any sort will be targeted. I trust you take my meaning.” She too, glanced at Lyall, who faltered.

The meeting did not extend much further. It traveled in circles, and Remus couldn’t help but notice how miserable Professor McGonagall seemed. He could sympathize, even though he still suspected her of lying to him. In fact, it was precisely because of it. Not long after, Lyall prematurely ended the meeting and left with Remus, leading him to the Great Hall to see if they could grab some food before Breakfast ended. For his part, Remus’ head was still swimming. For the life of him, he couldn’t understand what was going on, or what would happen. Would there be a war? Was Quill a necessary evil? Why had she done it, in the first place? McGonagall had insisted that Quill did not know his secret, but self-loathing clawed at his insides. Not unlike the Wolf itself. Remus felt a horrible, aching pain in his chest every time he looked at Quill. Was it because of what she had done? Or...because of what  _ he _ had done? 

The next day was Halloween, and it just so happened to be a day that the Gryffindors had Defense Against the Dark Arts. Remus felt a mounting sense of unease as he sat down at his desk. Again and again, Quill had tried to engage with him. Perhaps to apologize? He couldn’t be sure, and quite frankly he didn’t care. So he ignored her attempts to communicate. If ever she was the one to give him detention, he simply didn’t go. What was she going to do, tell Dumbledore? No, he’d learned his lesson. Thankfully, Quill’s presence was somewhat alleviated by having another teacher present. Iris was considerably nicer, and almost seemed to understand how Remus felt. More than once, she had shut down Quill in attempts to catch him alone. 

“Don’t you worry about her, Remus.” She had muttered to him one afternoon, having chased him down to deliver a textbook he’d forgotten in his haste to leave the room. “The staff is on your side, I promise you. Everyone knows what happened, and it’s not going to happen again.” Giving his shoulder a squeeze, Iris had thrown a smile to James, Peter, and Sirius. “You three, keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t think we don’t notice you watching out for him. That’s true loyalty right there. In fact, take five points for Gryffindor each.” 

She’d lifted her hand, passing it between the three of them. Sirius had obliged, giving her a high five, albeit as he chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Thanks Iris. See if you can get Quill chucked out before the year is over, yeah? Do that, and you’ll be my favorite teacher, hands down.” 

Iris shook her head as though expressing disappointment in Sirius’ request, turning to walk away. But before rounding the corridor, she had thrown the boys a sly wink. Ever since, Remus had felt a little safer in Defense Against the Dark Arts. But only a little. Quill had stood toe to toe with McGonagall, who everyone agreed was second only to Dumbledore in magical skill. He just hoped that, if it came to it, Iris would be strong enough to protect him. 

Throughout class, Remus exchanged glances with James, Sirius, and Peter. As was tradition, they’d planned an extra special school prank to celebrate the holiday. This time it involved conjuring ectoplasm everywhere during the Halloween Feast. No real harm, easy enough to solve with a basic Skourge spell. Yet as class ended, and the students cleared out to head down to the Great Hall for dinner, it happened again. 

“Remus, can you come up to my desk? We need to talk about your essay on Red Caps.” A cold feeling. Such a cold feeling. The other boys from the Gryffindor Dormitory jumped to their feet, and quickly seemed to crowd around him. Iris too, had seemed to stiffen in her place, leaning up against the wall. 

“It’s Halloween, Viola. They’ve got a feast to attend, surely this can wait-” 

“Oh, I don’t need to speak to all of them. Just Remus.” Quill’s eyes flashed, and Sirius’ hand slipped into his robes. Remus instinctively grabbed his arm.

James, on the other hand, did not waste any time. “No.” He said simply. “No way. You can talk to him with us here, or not at all.” 

Quill gave him an appraising look. “That’s not how this works, Potter. Within my classroom, I’m the only one who gives orders.” 

“I don’t care.” James shot back with a kind of disbelieving laugh. “You really think teacher authority is going to scare us away? We are not leaving him here with you. Deal with it.” 

Quill exchanged a glance with Iris, who simply shrugged, as if to say ‘What did you expect?’ and offered no assistance. Turning back to James again, her disfigured face curled into a terrifying expression. “Choose your battles wisely, Potter.” 

“He speaks for all of us.” Sirius chimed in. “You want to get to Remus, you’ll have to go through me.”

“And me!” Peter squeaked. 

“And me.” 

This last voice did not belong to Iris. Everyone turned to look at the door - and Remus felt his heart skip a beat. Someone else had entered the room, looking thunderous. Iris frowned, and Quill herself looked nonplussed. 

“And just who are you supposed to be?” 

“My name is Lyall Lupin. And that’s my son you’re threatening.” 

Remus found himself clutching more tightly at Sirius’ arm. Such few words, and yet they seemed to have made all the difference. Quill took a step back. Something changed in her eyes. “ _ You… _ ” She spoke quietly. The single word spat out like a thorn. Then she steadied herself. “Children, you’re dismissed. Iris, get out.” 

Iris, who had been folding her arms, now dropped them, frowning. “Er, no. That’s not how this works, Viola-” 

“Too bad. You want to observe my teaching, knock yourself out. You want to stick around for a private conversation, you answer to my wand.” 

Lyall turned to the boys, resting a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “You really should get out of here. Kids,” He gave a side-glance to Remus’ friends. “Keep an eye on him for me, alright?” 

“No!” Remus stammered, reaching for his father again. “I don’t want you to go with her, please-” 

“I’ll be alright.” Lyall squeezed Remus’ hand, though never taking his eyes off Quill. “Remember what Professor Dumbledore said. If she tries anything, they’ll catch her.” 

Iris nodded, glancing at Lyall. “Don’t worry Mr. Lupin, whatever she has to say to you, she can say it in front of me, or swallow it for all I care, because she knows damn well what will happen if she draws a wand against me.” Turning back to Quill, Remus watched the two Professors lock eyes. There was something fierce passing between them, some kind of unspoken, immobile battle.

“If you have nothing better to do than pry into my personal affairs, why don’t you make yourself useful, and escort the children to the Feast? We both know that ‘protecting them’ is the pretense for your being here, so why not keep up with the lie?” Quill flexed her arm, keeping her wand steady. “Not getting the point? This conversation is not going to include you, period. I’ll take it elsewhere, if I must. Create a Portkey if I have to. You may fancy yourself entitled to keep me in line, but you’re deluding yourself if you think I’d allow you to spy on me.” 

“Not spying, no. That suggests subterfuge. This is monitoring, plain and simple. I’m entitled to this. You won’t hurt the children with me as a witness...but for all I know, you’ll harm Mr. Lupin if I leave you alone with him.” Iris cocked her head, now suddenly sounding like a teenager throwing insults in the schoolyard. “Mmn, what’s wrong, Viola? Guilty conscience? Worried you might do something that you don’t want me knowing about?” 

Lyall exchanged a glance with Remus. For a moment, it was as though both of the Professors had forgotten that other people were in the room. Then-

_ Bang. _

Iris Tilandr slumped against the nearest desk, out cold. Stunned. Peter gave a loud squeak of fear, as everyone in the room looked with alarm toward Quill, as she lowered her wand. “I warned her.” She said simply. “I told her very clearly that this conversation would not include her. If she didn’t listen, that’s her own fault.” Turning back to Lyall, Remus shuddered at the glint in her eye. “Get Remus and his friends out of here. We have a lot to talk about.” 

Lyall was staring at Iris, before looking back at Quill. With a shaking hand, he drew his wand. “You know what? Maybe you’re right, Remus. I have nothing important to say to this woman. Let’s get out of here, and-” 

_ Colloportus! _ ” Quill flicked her wand, and the classroom door swung shut behind her. With a clicking sound as it locked tight. 

“Oi!” Sirius aimed his wand. “What are you playing at? You think you can-” 

“ _ Petrificus Totalus! _ ” Quill bellowed another spell and Sirius’ body went rigid, freezing like a board of wood as it fell over with a clatter. Remus felt as though his heart was about to burst. 

“No!” Lyall raised his wand, and as Quill aimed another spell, it simply bounced off. He had cast a shield charm between himself, the boys, and Quill. Leveling his wand at her, he scowled. “Just who do you think you are, to attack a child?” 

Quill brandished her own wand, glaring back at Lyall. Hadn’t Dumbledore said that she felt remorse? She sure didn’t look guilty, like someone facing the people she had wronged. Didn’t even look abashed. No, that strange look in her eyes...it was not unlike the look that Snape gave James. “Oh, I think you know who I am, Lupin. Think back a bit. Put it together. It’s not that hard.” 

Lyall scowled. “You’re with that terrible family. The House of Crowe. To tell the truth, I don’t really care who you are. Just open the door and let us leave. This time, you’ll be out on your arse. I’ll make sure of it. You’ll be sacked for this. You’ll go to Azkaban where you belong.” 

Quill shook her head. “The boys can leave. They really should. But you and I? We’re going to settle this. I know what you did. I  _ know  _ what you did to him.” 

For the first time, it was like Quill’s words had actually meant something to Lyall. His eyes widened slightly and he shifted the weight in his feet. “I don’t know what you’re saying. You’re just evil and unhinged.” 

“I’m not leaving you! I’m not!” Remus found himself wailing like a young child, almost like Peter might have. “Dad, please. Let’s just get out of here.” 

Quill spared a glance toward Remus. Then she continued speaking, but appeared to still be addressing Lyall. “I want to know how it happened. How you could let it happen to him. I want answers, Lupin. And since I wouldn’t trust you as far as I can throw you…” She jerked her wand forward and cast a new spell. One that Remus did not recognize. “ _ Legilimens! _ ” 

Lyall stumbled in place, wincing as though his head was in terrible pain. “What is this? G-get out of my head!” 

“Hey! Let him go!” James bellowed, before rushing at Quill and raising his wand. For her part, Quill simply flicked her wand to the side and James abruptly froze in place, just as Sirius had done. Another body-bind. Remus and Peter exchanged a glance, and Peter seemed to hide in Remus’ shoulder. Mustering his courage, Remus turned to Quill. 

“Stop it! Just stop it, please. Don’t hurt him!” 

Remus’ voice seemed to jolt Quill from her assault. Or perhaps it was something else that had gotten to her. For she then relented, lowering her wand. Lyall collapsed into the desk next to Remus’ desk, gasping for breath with haunted eyes. Actually, Quill had that look in her eyes as well. Or perhaps it was just her general appearance. Coming to rest against the back of her desk, she stared at Lyall. 

Remus felt his heart shrivel in his chest as his father had buried his face into his hands. Scooting closer, he reached out to him, but Lyall didn’t notice. He kept muttering to himself. “It’s all my fault...it’s my fault, all of it. Mine…” He was gasping. 

Quill was taking deep, rattled breaths. Was it pure imagination on Remus’ part, or was she trying not to cry? No, it wasn’t his imagination. When she next spoke, yelling her words out, he could hear it in her tone. The back of her throat. “ _ Why?! _ ” She directed at Lyall, advancing on him. “Why did you do it?” Remus felt paralyzed with fear as Quill grabbed his father by the collar, wrenching him up from the desk. “Why couldn’t you just live your own life?! He didn’t deserve this!” No, that was it. Quill was crying...both of them were. 

Peter and Remus exchanged a bewildered glance as Lyall sank back into the desk, and Quill moved to sit in another one. She was still staring at him. Lyall now looked at Remus, opened his mouth to speak, but then said nothing and simply moved to embrace him, which Remus readily returned. 

“I’m sorry, Remus. I’m so sorry. Please, I’ll talk with you soon. But right now, you need to go back to Gryffindor Tower...” 

“Dad, why? What’s going on? Come with me!” 

“I will. I’ll catch up with you soon. But first I need to sort things out with Quill.” 

“I don’t understand, do you know her?” Peter chimed in, but Lyall simply shook his head. 

Quill glanced between all of them. “No, I can tell. He’s never seen my face before.”

“I think I would have remembered it.” Lyall hissed back, giving a onceover glance at the Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher. Peter seemed unable to help giving a squeak of laughter at this, before he calmed down. 

Lyall got to his feet, and lifted his wand. With a flick, he removed the body-binds from Sirius and James. As they rolled over, rubbing their arms, Lyall cleared his throat. “Boys, I think you need to go enjoy the Halloween feast. Quill and I have some matters to discuss. Please, do not argue. Just do as I say.” 

Remus had been about to open his mouth to do quite the opposite of what he was told, when James grabbed his arm. “Sure thing, Lyall. I can call you Lyall, right? ‘Mr. Lupin’ just seems so formal.” Ignoring the look Sirius was giving him, James glanced over at Remus’ father, who chuckled. 

“Sure you can. With all the stories Remus has told us, you three are practically family. Now go on. Remus, we’ll talk to each other soon, I promise.” 

Before Remus could argue, James had grabbed his arm and given him a meaningful look. It wasn’t until they were out of the classroom that Sirius rounded on James. “What are you playing at, we can’t leave them alone-oh.” He stopped mid-sentence, and grinned. “Alright then, let’s get to work.” 

Within a few moments, James had unfurled the Invisibility Cloak. Just before Lyall had gotten up to shut the door, the four boys had darted back through the opening and hidden themselves in a nearby corner. Hoping that no one had caught a glimpse of their feet. 

Turning back to Quill, Lyall’s face fell slightly. “Alright, you’ve got to tell me what’s really going on here. Who are you? Why did you do this in the first place?” 

Quill’s expression did not grow any kinder. Still holding her wand tightly, she raised it to aim at Lyall. “Sorry Lupin, but I don’t think I’m going to be the one giving explanations today.” 

Lyall raised his hands in a submissive gesture. “Please...you can’t tell him. He’ll hate me, for the rest of his life he will hate me.” Remus felt himself stiffening like a body-bind had been used on him. There was nothing - nothing that could ever make that happen. How could his Dad say that? 

Quill scoffed slightly. “And that’s my problem? He deserves the truth. And I deserve to tell him.” 

“I...have been a good father.” Lyall spoke sternly, yet it was clear from his tone that he wasn’t altogether certain of his own words. “Hope and I have done everything we can to give him the best life possible, despite the circumstances…” 

“Oh have you? Just what  _ have  _ you done, exactly?” Quill advanced upon Lyall slowly. “Has he been brought up as part of a faith? Can he play an instrument? Have you been feeding him vegetables? How often did you wash his hair? And  _ where- _ ” A jet of light shot out of her wand and singed the wall, missing Lyall by inches, “-did he get those bloody  _ scars?! _ Tell me everything, Lupin. Tell me before I extract it from you!” 

“What is this?” Sirius mouthed next to Remus, his expression indignant. “Why is she the one who gets to ask the questions?” 

But Lyall did not seem prepared to call Quill out on this. Turning away from her, he took a deep breath, and shut his eyes. “It happened when he was five. It never would have happened if not for me.” 

Remus felt his heart rate starting to increase. No, anything but that. Not while his friends were here. “Guys, we need to go. We shouldn’t be listening in on my Dad, it’s not right.” He stammered. The others were saying something in response, but Remus could barely hear them. 

“I already saw what happened then.” Quill snapped. “Tell me everything else!  _ Legilimens! _ ” 

Once more, Lyall flinched in place and began to grip the sides of the nearby desk. “Alright, alright! The pregnancy was a surprise, but a happy one. He was a cesarean section, totally healthy. He did eat his vegetables, he was always so good about that...he loves chocolate too. But he can’t ever have it thanks to the allergy...he always wanted a dog. We didn’t raise him under any particular faith, but his grandparents wanted him to be…” Lyall suddenly broke off as the pressure seemed to have lifted. Quill had pulled back, both figuratively and literally. 

She was staring at Lyall as though he had said something terrible, as though he’d recounted someone’s death. 

Rubbing his head, he opened his eyes a crack and looked at her. “You saw all of that, you saw that I wasn’t lying. What more do you want from me, woman? Just leave our family alone, and we’ll leave you alone. I think that’s more than fair.”

Quill had slumped against her desk. Her wand arm dropping by her side. She no longer looked at Lyall, or at anything in particular. She simply stared at the wall. Not roused from her stupor until she heard the sound of screams. Unhealthy, inhuman screams. 

_ “EEEEEEEEKKK!!!”” _

Remus heard them too. Lyall whipped around. “What in blazes?” Grabbing his wand, he raced out of the room. Quill followed suit. Once they were gone, Sirius pulled the Cloak off of the four boys. 

“Come on!” He beckoned, and as they made their way into the corridor. The screams, just like the ones from the previous day, grew louder. were continuing, and by the sound of things, they came from the Great Hall. Sure enough, as they made the journey down the nearest staircase, the sound grew louder. By the time they had finished the path and entered what was supposed to be the Halloween Feast, the source of panic had become very clear. 

Ghosts, the Hogwarts ghosts. By all appearances, they had gone berserk. Flying around in place, in circles and figure-eights. Wailing oddly, making inhuman noises. Remus couldn’t tell if the screams came from them, or the Hogwarts students that now cowered in fear as the ghosts launched themselves toward the tables - but he had a feeling it was the former. Several passed through different students, which Remus knew from experience was akin to being doused in ice water.

Dumbledore was shouting something about how they needed to stop, but it was like the ghosts could not hear any other voices. Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor Ghost, was chasing two first years who, as far as Remus could tell, were not even in Gryffindor. With his nearly severed head, his claim to fame, swinging wildly. Meanwhile, The Bloody Baron was floating around, screaming at people and stabbing them - though fortunately his sword did not appear to cause actual damage. 

“Do you reckon the ghosts wanted to do a prank of their own?” Sirius turned to his friends. 

Peter bit his lip, watching students sobbing and hugging each other, watching McGonagall and Slugborn attempt to subdue the ghosts, only for their spells to pass harmlessly through them. “This...seems a little too far for a Halloween prank.” 

As if on cue, the real danger of the night now began to show itself properly. One of the ghosts who had been screeching by the staff table suddenly made an erratic turn and raced toward the Hufflepuff table. The first student that he reached suddenly seized up. The ghost itself disappeared, and the student instead began to copy the unstable motions. Bashing his head against the table and spinning around to do a kind of frenzied dance. 

Then, all at once...it stopped. The ghosts stopped in place. All of them ceased making noises and terrorizing students. The Hufflepuff student seemed to faint, and the previous ghost reappeared from within him. Nearly Headless Nick stopped, collecting his head, and looked around with a frown. 

“Is everyone alright?” McGonagall called out, leveling her wand, even if it could do nothing. “Madam Pomfrey will see you and make sure you are unharmed. Ghosts, I now address you. Explain yourselves! Just what is the meaning of this chaos? What was the purpose of that?” 

The Bloody Baron looked around, and turned to McGonagall. “The purpose of what, milady?” The other ghosts were likewise looking around and voicing uncertainty. 

McGonagall and Dumbledore looked at each other, and Dumbledore spoke in a booming tone. “Prefects, take your students back to their Common Rooms. All ghosts, remain here. That includes you, Peeves. We must discuss this matter.” 

It wasn’t long before Kingsley was ushering the Gryffindor students along with him in a line. The four boys were swept up and escorted back to Gryffindor Tower, but not before Lyall found Remus and embraced him, promising that he would speak to the teachers and figure out what had happened. Predictably, he brushed off any discussion of Quill as “No time, we’ll write about it.” For the next hour, The Gryffindors sat in silence in their Common Room. The four boys did not dare discuss what they had seen in the Great Hall, nor what they had overheard in Quill’s classroom. Not in front of everyone else. Yet they likewise did not want to go up to their dormitory in case they missed an important bit of news. Sure enough, within the hour, the Portrait Hole opened. 

And the tension only heightened as Quill stepped into the room. 

“What are you doing here?” A voice called out in anger. It was Lily Evans. 

Ignoring her, Quill addressed the entire room. “Professor McGonagall is meeting with the Headmaster, and the other Heads of House, to decide what is to be done about the ghosts. We’ve spoken to them, and it appears that none of them retain any memory of their temporary madness. Nor do they know what caused it. For the time being, the ghosts have been instructed to avoid interacting with you. If you see one, do not attempt to engage them. We do not yet know what set this off.” 

Quill paused for a moment as though awaiting questions, but when none came, she simply smoothed out her robes. “That is all. I’ll leave you to your Common Room.” She turned to leave. Remus watched her take two steps, and then stop. Lifting a hand to rub her neck, Remus cringed slightly. The scar across her throat was bleeding…

“Mate, what are you doing?” Peter gasped as Remus got up. The others got up to follow him but Remus gave them an intense look and shook his head...before he followed Quill out through the Portrait Hole, which swung shut behind him. 

“Professor!” He called out, feeling fear nearly stop him. But it hadn’t. He had done it. And now Quill had stopped in place. She continued to face away from him, and Remus knew he had only seconds before his mates caught up with him. He had to make this count. Taking a deep breath, and biting back the urge to say the million different things on his mind, all he could say was one thing. One burning question in his mind, that he needed to know the answer to. That he felt sickened by, for he already knew the answer. “Was it my fault?” His voice broke slightly. 

Inch by inch, Quill turned in place, and slowly looked at him. Remus’s breath caught in his throat. The way she looked at him...it was a sight unseen. She did not look angry, or hurt. No, it was more like...apathy. She looked at him like a stranger...Quill had never looked at him like that before. There was a very long pause, and Remus could hear the Portrait Hole opening behind him, until she finally spoke. 

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, Mr. Lupin. Goodnight.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I don't know if you've noticed this, but some of the antics that the Marauders share are adapted from things like Tumblr posts - including some direct references. One might call this plagiarism, but I prefer to think of it is writing this series "for the fans." That's something I very much want Accordance to be. With changes, of course. It's not a spider that Sirius is scared of, because this series already has a resident arachnophobe. (Even if he's not born yet) Besides, mosquitos are FAR more terrifying - Sirius gets that directly from me. 
> 
> Not sure about my take on Lyall. For some reason, despite how similar he is to Remus, which you would think would make it that much easier...I found Petunia a lot more straightforward? I don't know. It was great to finally introduce Lyall, though. I won't always treat Pottermore as "canon" for this story (McGonagall's backstory is pretty much in limbo after Crimes of Grindelwald, for example) but sometimes I will, and everything that is written about Lyall on Pottermore can safely be applied to this tale. 
> 
> Some more development of Quill, like the wildcard that she is. We also got to see more of Iris, and her dynamic with Quill. Not sure if it's landing, but I kind of see their antagonistic rivalry as echoing Lily's relationship with Soomin. Or something like that.
> 
> Finally, the Book 2 plot has officially been kicked into overdrive! Just what the heck is happening to the ghosts? What -or who- could be causing this? The next chapter...I'm not sure. Most likely James, possibly Peter, we'll have to see. But thanks for checking in!

**Author's Note:**

> One down, three to go. 
> 
> Thanks to anyone who checked out this story! Please let me know what you think, whether you love or hate it. 
> 
> Yes, there really are going to be seventy chapters - ten for each year. I have a plan this time, I know what I'm doing. (I do not know what I'm doing.)


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